by R M Scotford
“It’ll be fine. We’ll switch the software and get out of here before anyone notices. Don’t worry,” she said, hoping that her words would come true.
The children gathered in a circle and held each other’s hands. It was an important moment in the gang’s short history. For the first time, all the children physically connected and their powers surged. The energy between the children flowed from hand to hand, heart to heart and for a second there was no need to say anything. They felt the power. They understood the risk and trusted their friendship would pull them through. Each child quivered from the prickles of energy rippling through their bodies, filling them with confidence. Their hands tingled as they held on, and they smiled at each other. The Scanner Kidz Gang was fully operational.
“Ok,” Douggie said, confidently, “let’s do this. You all know what to do.”
Quickly and quietly, the gang split into their teams.
The Convention
The convention centre shook from the deafening din of so many chattering K- BOTS. Jimmy looked around him; he’d never seen so many people in one place at the same time. The scary thing was that these weren’t real people, they were robots; soon to be bombs. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. He wished he had superpowers. He scampered after Abu who had already found a good hiding place behind a large column.
“Abu, mate,” Jimmy whispered. “You know I said I almost filled my pants?”
Abu frowned.
“Yes, what is it Jimmy?”
“Well, urm, urm, I need to go to the loo — real bad,” Jimmy moaned uncomfortably.
“Can’t you wait?” Abu said, with exasperation. He pointed round the hall. Was the obvious not obvious?
“I’m busting Abu; I’m touching cloth. I’m turtlehead. I can’t wait another minute, dude,” Jimmy pleaded. His face streaked with desperation.
Abu rolled his eyes.
“Well go then, but be quick,” he hissed. “We’re supposed to be lookouts. You can’t be a lookout if you’re stuck in the bog.”
Jimmy disappeared down the corridor in the direction of the toilet and Abu settled down into his lookout point. He pulled out a plastic bag of screwed up tinfoil balls. If things didn’t go according to plan, then he had the power to supercharge them to monstrously high temperatures. He was sure they’d get him out of any tight spot. He placed the bag down and called in.
“This is Abu. I’m in position.” Click.
“This is Kimiko. I’m in position too.” Click.
“Douggie, ready for action.” Click.
“Maximus here.” Click.
“Everyone hold your positions no one —”
But before Maggie could finish her sentence the enormous crowd of nannies erupted into a thunderous applause. On the main stage appeared the ominous figure of Nurse Hobbs. A combination of back lighting and her huge size meant she cast a dark shadow the size of a bus across the hall. Tottering after her came Grenwold. Behind him came a tall, bony man; a very well dressed woman in a ridiculous feather hat; and finally a small child. The Scanner Kidz watched nervously as Nurse Hobbs opened her mouth.
Nurse Hobbs bubbled with excitement as she waved to her creations. Before her lay a sea of servants. A plethora of pink. Ten thousand nursery teachers all programmed to serve her, to adore her, to fulfill her master plan. She’d used her unearthly powers to inject life into Grenwold’s robots until she had a formidable army for revenge. Soon she would be the richest person in the world. No, the most powerful person on the Planet. The thought of it intoxicated her, and she felt weak at the knees. She had waited for this moment for ten long years. The world would soon regret the day she was fired from Baby Ward C.
What fantastic robots they’d turned out to be, completely indistinguishable from a normal human. How could the governments of the world refuse her demands? Children were the future of the planet and by next Monday her army of deadly nursery teachers would be holding hundreds of thousands of little nippers for ransom.
She waved to the masses of explosive employees filling the convention centre. She was the queen of kindergarten care. Soon, she would be the empress of the world. Like a five star general before a war, she addressed her troops, booming out orders and commands.
From their hiding places, the Scanner Kidz nervously looked up at the stage. Nurse Hobbs pontificated to the hordes of subservient K-BOTS. The other adults on stage looked at her with awe. Maggie spoke into her walkie-talkie,
“Who’s the kid on stage?” Click.
“What kid?” Click.
“Does anyone know that kid?” Click.
“Erh, No.” Click.
“Negative.” Click.
“No — over.” Click.
Maggie stared harder at the odd-looking kid. He was wearing a black pin-stripped suit, white shirt and green tie. His black hair was greased into a ridiculous sweeping parting. He looked uncomfortable and peered out through his thick-rimmed glasses meekly. Nurse Hobbs’s boomed over the microphone.
“Let me introduce you to our principal investors Mr. and Mrs. Pew and their son Guillermo.”
The convention centre erupted into predictable applause. Grenwold looked around. He couldn’t clap while he was holding the detonation device, so he walked across the stage and placed the all-important gadget on a small table and clapped politely.
This was it.
This was their opportunity. Douggie was in position; the device was unattended; they would have to seize the moment now. Maggie screamed into her walkie-talkie,
“GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. Douggie, GO. This is it. GO, GO, GO, GO.”
Douggie’s heart leaped into his mouth. The device was just a few metres from his position. He had a matter of seconds to grab it. The other children watched without daring to breathe as he broke cover and scampered across the stage like a mouse.
Everyone on stage was preoccupied with clapping, everyone that is except the young Guillermo. As his father stepped up to the microphone to say a few words, Guillermo yawned. He’d heard his father talk to crowds of people a thousand times and so far he’d never said anything remotely interesting. There were big plans ahead for young Guillermo Pew, heir to the multi-billion dollar Pew Real Estate Empire. His father wanted him to be the youngest CEO ever and insisted that he attend as many business meetings as he could, including this one.
Guillermo stared out over the sea of pink nursery teachers. This meeting was worse than usual. What was his father doing investing in such a crazy company? Surely there were more interesting ways to make money than in childcare? He wistfully gazed around and caught Douggie in the corner of his eye running across the back of the stage.
As Douggie grabbed hold of the device, the other gang members held their breath. The plan was working. The Scanner Kidz would be heroes. Maggie clenched her fists as she watched Douggie fumble with the key ring.
“Come on,” she urged. “Come on.”
Sneakily, Guillermo stole another look at Douggie. He was getting a funny sensation in his stomach, it felt just like the butterfly feeling you get before you have to do something important or scary. He didn’t feel scared, and this conference certainly didn’t seem important. He looked across at his father who was happily droning away into the microphone about World Domination or something.
The feeling in Guillermo’s stomach grew acuter; sharp pulses tensed his abdominal muscles. He cradled his tummy with his hands and wriggled his hips to relieve the irritation. Nothing worked. He glanced back at the boy who was fiddling with something at the corner of the stage. Guillermo was angry. His neck twitched, throwing his head to one side; then it twitched again. His stomach bubbled, and his knees knocked. What was happening? Maggie noticed the strange kid in the suit writhing. She spoke sharply into her walkie-talkie,
“What’s that kid doing?” Click. “Why is he acting so strange?” Click.
Maximus spoke over the airwaves. His voice was distorted and crackly.
“He seems to be very distressed like
he wants to go to the toilet or something?” Click.
“Watch him, Maximus,” Maggie ordered.
“Come on Douggie,” she pleaded. “Get out of there.”
She gripped the chair in front of her tightly. The seconds were passing like hours. She willed him on. Just pick it up and hide, she thought. Don’t stand there waiting to be seen. But it was too late. In one deliberate movement, Guillermo span around and screamed,
“YOU THERE! STOP!”
He pointed an accusing finger at Douggie. Little Guillermo’s voice echoed around the big hall. Douggie froze like a prisoner caught in a searchlight. Mr. Pew choked on his boring sentence, Mrs. Pew lost her hat, Grenwold jumped out of his skin, Nurse Hobbs glared evilly through her spectacles, and 10,000 K-BOTS gasped in unison.
The whole hall waited, suspended in time.
Dump
Meanwhile, Bob, the security guard had found the whole nanny convention thing incredibly boring. Admittedly it was a world better than cleaning, but once everyone was inside, the hours dragged on like years. He’d now got plenty of time on his hands to do whatever he liked.
The day’s convention was moving along smoothly; he wasn’t needed. He picked up the newspaper and made his way out of the foyer to the outside toilets. They were his favourite because they were bigger and quieter. Bob whistled a happy tune as he stepped out into the bright sunshine. What a beautiful day. He wouldn’t be missed.
What could possibly go wrong in a convention full of nannies?
Pear-Shaped
Back in the Main Hall, the atmosphere reached critical mass. Standing at ground zero was Guillermo Pew. His little body shook uncontrollably. The veins in his head throbbed, and his eyes bulged out of their sockets like fat peaches. What was happening to him? Nothing like this had ever happened before. He felt as though the earth’s energy was rising up through his feet and shaking him to pieces. It was horrendous, hideous, frightening and fantastic and he was beginning to love it.
Mrs. Pew looked on in horror as her darling Guilly’s head bulged into the shape of a bloated pear. It was too much and she fainted, falling to the floor with a clump, crushing her stupid, bird of paradise-hat. Oblivious, Guillermo ripped off his glasses to get a better look at his victim.
Douggie stood surprised and helpless, fumbling with the key ring. It all happened so quick there was never any hope of Douggie defending himself. Guillermo Pew entered into his first ever Scanner fight and smacked Douggie right on the brow with a ferocious Grey-Matter Splatter. Douggie span 360 degrees in the air and hit the back stage like an over-ripe tomato.
Guillermo directed another mind-bending Cranium Cracker at Douggie, causing his eyes to spin like a human fruit machine. The adults looked on in a state of complete confusion. The Scanner Kidz watched in horror.
“THAT KID’S GOT SCANNER POWERS,” Kimiko screamed into her walkie-talkie.
“OK, ABORT PLAN,” yelled Maggie.
“ABORT PLAN AND DO WHAT?” howled Abu.
Maggie paused for a second to gather her thoughts. Think, think, think. Calmly Maximus spoke into his walkie-talkie,
“Whatever you’re gonna do, do it fast. It looks like that kid’s killing Douggie.
“Ok.” Maggie took a deep breath. “Abu, Jimmy, you keep the K-BOTS occupied.”
“WHAT?” screamed Abu.
“Maximus, keep watch. Kimiko, meet me on stage. We’re gonna save Douggie.”
The children jumped into action. With the determination of an Olympic sprinter, Maggie powered towards Douggie and leapt athletically onto the stage. Things were all moving fast, and the adults had no time to react. They looked on in wonder as, right before their eyes, Maggie generated her silver power sphere.
Guillermo was unaware of Maggie’s presence. His full attention was focused on Douggie’s battered body. He was proving to be a gifted telepathic fighter, pulling new moves out of the air like an old pro. He pounded Douggie’s unfortunate brain with wave after wave of telekinetic energy.
WHAM! A High-Speed Head Hunter.
BAM! A Double-Flipping Skull Shank.
SLAM! A Triple-Twisting Dome-Dentor.
KAAAR-BAM! A Wild-Whistling Wits-Whacker.
Douggie shuddered as the special moves pummeled his head, one after the other. In no time at all, Kimiko joined Maggie on stage. Each girl was angry and ready to defend Douggie. They were unable to control their rage and assaulted poor Guillermo’s brain from two sides. Only a minute ago, Guillermo had never even thrown one telepathic punch in his life. Now here he was being blitzed from all angles by the Scanner Girls. The girls’ parallel attack was brutal and merciless. Their cerebral assault mashed Guillermo’s mind to mush and he passed out, cold.
The relief for Douggie was instantaneous. He rubbed his bruised head and watched the girls suck up all of Guillermo’s free power. Fantastic rays of light shot up from Guillermo’s limp body and swirled twenty feet in the air before leaping outwards and locking the girls in a supercharged triangle of light. It was a spectacular display of strength and unity. Grenwold stepped back in awe. Nurse Hobbs strode forward. She grabbed the microphone from the dazed Mr. Pew and turning towards her pink army, roared,
“RISE—RISE UP, MY ARMY OF K-BOTS. SHOW NO MERCY TO YOUR FOE. RISE, I SAY, RISE.”
Like a huge slumbering beast awakening, the K-BOT army groaned into action. It was all out war.
Energized by their defeat over Guillermo, the two girls launched themselves into a full attack on the masses of robots that had begun to swamp the stage. Hunting season on K-BOTS began. Sensing things were getting a little out of hand, Nurse Hobbs slipped behind one of the stage curtains. She was much too old, wise and fat to fight herself, but she had the perfect solution to this problem hidden away in a back room. As Maximus came bounding onto the stage, Maggie screamed at him,
“Nurse Hobbs, follow Nurse Hobbs. Don’t let her get away.”
But the exit was already blocked by K-BOTS who seemed to be pouring out of the walls. Maximus hastily fumbled in his pocket with a pack of chalk. With not even a second to spare, he fired off a round—hitting a nanny in the nose. Her face exploded like a balloon full of porridge, covering other K-BOTS in sticky goo.
At the front of the stage, things were getting manic. Kimiko was busy blowing the heads off the multitude of Kamikaze K-BOTS that were rushing at her in a suicidal rage. Maggie launched silver energy spheres in all directions. One hit a swarm of K-BOTS that were close to Abu. The K-BOTS that received a direct hit exploded like Lego, those that were outside of the blast zone screamed for retribution.
Abu stared at Maggie. That was the last thing he needed. He looked around him. She’d upset the K-BOTS now. They no longer looked like loving nursery teachers. Their sparkly blue eyes had turned putrid green with hate; their carefully manicured nails looked like jagged, black talons; and their infectious smiles were replaced with sneers of dribbling vengeance. Hundreds of agitated K-BOTS shuffled forward and surrounded Abu like hungry zombies.
Abu quickly scanned around him. Where the hell was Jimmy? Not that Jimmy could make much difference against such a large army of demented nursery teachers but it would be nice not to die alone. He had about fifty screwed up tinfoil balls. Whatever happened he’d go down in a blaze of glory.
He grabbed the first tinfoil ball and supercharged it with his powers until it was molten. Quick as a flash, he fired it into the belly of the nearest K-BOT. The phenomenal heat of the tinfoil ball cut through the robots body like pee in snow. Its stomach disintegrated and it crumpled into a heap, setting another two K-BOTS alight.
“BONUS,” shouted Abu. “Three for one.”
The flames licked at the other K-BOTS, rousing them into a hideous roar of fear and anger. They knew that they were up against a formidable foe and they stalled their attack. None of them wanted to end up as molten sludge. But the sheer number pushing up from the back forced an onslaught. As the K-BOTS rushed forward, Abu was consumed with a fiery fury and sent off volleys of
tinfoil magma bombs in every direction.
K-BOTS blazed and combusted in clusters. All around Abu lay blazing robots. The heat was so great that other K-BOTS further back spontaneously combusted. Abu was stuck in a blazing circle with all his exits blocked. There was no escape. Flames began to eat away at his trousers and singe his beanie hat. It wouldn’t be long before the fire consumed him too.
Hearing the commotion, Jimmy rushed out of the toilet with his fly still open. What on earth had happened? He’d gone to the toilet and everything was going according to plan and now this. He gazed in horror at the mayhem that had erupted. On stage, he could see Maggie and Kimiko pounding one K-BOT after the other into dust. Where Abu had been hiding was now a blazing furnace. K- BOTS poured onto the flames like moths around a lamp. It was too terrible to watch. There could be no hope for Abu. He must be dead. Jimmy cried out in anguish and quickly realised his mistake.
A group of K-BOTS that was about to launch into the fight with Abu turned round and fixed Jimmy with a hateful stare. Jimmy’s jaw dropped as he realised he’d been spotted. It was time to make a sharp exit. He had no superpowers and there was no way of bluffing it this time.
He back-pedaled out of the main room with scores of angry K-BOTS hot on his heels. Their circuits hummed with determined fury. Their arms were outstretched, eager to throttle anything that came into reach. With all the energy he could summon he launched through the main swinging doors and landed flat on his front on the foyer floor. He looked around. The foyer was no better than the main hall. It was thick with demented robots. There were frenzied K-BOTS coming at him from every direction. He quickly recovered and scuttled on his hands and knees under a dozen legs. His action sent the K-BOTS from the foyer crashing into the pursuing K-BOTS from the main hall. The confusion gave Jimmy enough time to get to his feet and look for his escape route. There was K-BOTS to the left of him, K-BOTS to the right, below him a solid floor, and above him light fittings too high to jump for.
