Courtney smiled.
“You know I love you like a daughter, but I’ll come back from the grave and haunt you if you don’t go after her.”
Courtney laughed.
“I’m serious, Courtney. Don’t lose the love of your life twice. Our time here goes by too damn fast,” she sighed.
Courtney nodded as she helped her lie back down. She pulled the throw blanket up and moved the chair back to the other side of the room.
“Have Cynthia stay with me. I’m sure she won’t mind taking care of a sick old lady while you go get your girl.” Beverly smiled softly before closing her eyes.
Courtney looked at the papers in her hand. The last page had Darien’s last known phone number and home address. She looked back at Beverly before her eyes panned the room to the picture of her late wife sitting on the dresser.
“She’d want you to be happy,” Beverly whispered, seeing where Courtney was looking.
Courtney looked back and smiled before leaving the room.
Chapter 23
Darien’s day of testing started early in the morning in L.A. with Dr. Norton, who examined her eyes and put them through a battery of tests. From there she reported to MEPS, which is the processing station area for new recruits. There, she had a military entrance physical and blood and urine samples drawn.
Once she was finished, she went back to Oceanside to the VA clinic where her primary care doctor and regular optometrist were located. Her primary care doctor did a physical of her own plus took blood and urine samples. Dr. Feldman also looked at her eyes to give a second opinion on her vision.
Once all of the medical testing was finished, she headed over to the base for a physical fitness test that included a flexed arm hang, sit-ups, and a three mile run, all of which were timed and scored.
As soon as Darien had finished everything, she headed home to shower and relax her worn body. She’d forgotten what it was like doing a PFT. She’d never scored below a 98 in her fourteen-year career, but she’d also not physically worked out in over a year. She still ran as much as she could, and the manual labor on the farm had been more beneficial than going to a gym on most days, but she was still slightly worried. If she were going to get back into the Marines, she’d have to be perfect in every area.
It was nerve-racking having to wait for the outcome of her tests when she was used to being told her scores right away. Since Capt. Yarborough had to make the final decision, she was going to have to wait a few more days for him to call.
***
When Darien turned down her road, she noticed the back of a white, compact car parked in front of her house. She raised an eyebrow in question as she pushed the button to open her garage and pulled inside. She got out wearing her sweaty green t-shirt and shorts with MARINES written across the chest of the shirt and down the side of the shorts. She grabbed her small gym bag from the passenger seat and climbed out and shut the door.
“Nice car,” Courtney said nervously as she walked up the driveway. She was uneasy about seeing Darien again, but all of her apprehension was gone as soon as she laid eyes on her.
Darien dropped the bag. “Courtney?” she gasped, resisting the urge to pull the smaller woman into her arms.
“Hi,” Courtney murmured.
“What are you doing here?”
“Can we talk? I just want the truth…from you. I need to know.”
Darien nodded and motioned for Courtney to follow her inside of the house.
Courtney looked around when she crossed the threshold. Darien’s house was decorated like a beach house in whitewashed wood and various shades of blue. The floor plan was open with living room, dining room, and kitchen combining to make up one half of the house. The other side of the house had a large master bedroom and two small guest rooms, one of which doubled as an office with a desk and a bookcase full of books. There was a small, covered deck off the back of the house where a grill and a small table set was located.
“Do you mind if I shower?” Darien asked.
Courtney had noticed she was in sweaty gym clothes. “What were you doing before you came home?”
“I’ve been doing medical and fitness testing for the Marine Corps all day.”
“So, you’re going back in then?”
Darien shrugged. “Maybe. If I pass all of their tests. I’ll be out in a minute. Make yourself at home,” she said as she walked into her bedroom. “There’s not a lot of food in there. Val and I have been going out to eat all week,” she called from the other room.
Courtney couldn’t stand it anymore. She got out and stormed into the bedroom, but Darien was already in the glass shower. She could see a distorted image of her under the spray. Courtney snatched the door open, causing Darien to shriek.
“Who is this Val person? Is she your girlfriend? Wife?” she growled. “I need to know if some woman is going to come home and throw me out on my ass.”
Darien shook her head as she squirted soap into her hand and began lathering her upper body. “Val? Val’s my cousin. She’s my lifeline—my best friend. I don’t know where I’d be or what I’d be doing without her. She lives about 45 minutes away in San Diego, where she owns a consulting firm. She might call while I’m here, but she’s not going to show up. She has meetings up in Los Angeles all week.” Darien stepped under the spray to rinse the soap. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Courtney stared at the beautiful turquoise eyes looking back at her. Janice’s eyes. She thought as she nodded and shut the door. She’d tried to forget what Darien’s naked body had looked like and seeing her again brought all of the desire back to the surface. She walked out of the bedroom, towards the kitchen, looking for something to take her mind off the naked, wet woman in the other room. She’d never wanted to take a shower so bad in her life.
As soon as Courtney sat down on the couch with some mail catalog she found on the kitchen counter, Darien appeared in the doorway, dressed in a t-shirt and shorts.
“I’m sorry,” Courtney muttered.
“It’s fine. I should’ve told you about her a long time ago. Hell,” she said, sitting down next to her. “I should’ve told you about a lot of things.”
Courtney nodded.
“Jason probably said a lot after I left.”
“Yeah, that’s an understatement. I thought he was nuts until I went and read the articles myself.” Courtney reached out, grabbing Darien’s hand. “Were you really blind?”
Darien pursed her lips and nodded.
“And now?”
“I don’t have any peripheral vision on the sides, it’s completely black, but my central vision is fine.”
“Those men that died in your convoy…are they the names on the dog tags in your tattoo?”
“Yes,” Darien said softly.
“What made you come to Iowa? To our farm in particular?”
“You know why,” Darien sighed. “Look at my eyes.”
Courtney reached up, rubbing her hand along the side of her face. “I had no idea. Beverly knew as soon as you’d arrived, but that’s because she’d known about the transplant. I was beside myself with grief and that’s why she never told me. I thought it was a pretty strong coincidence that you both had the same color eyes, but that was all it was, at least until Jason said you’d been blinded in the war and had an experimental eye transplant surgery right around the same time that Janice died.”
Darien nodded. “I hate that she had to die for me to be able to see again. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I’m glad she was able to help you. If she’d had a choice, she would’ve done it to help you. That’s the kind of person she was. It’s also why she was an organ donor, which was another thing I never knew about.”
“I should’ve never gone to see your family, but after sitting here for three months, the guilt had started eating me away. It tore me apart knowing someone had to die in order for me to see again. I went there thinking I’d tell my donor’s fam
ily who I was and thank them for the gift that I’d received, but I froze when I arrived. Ernie saw me and immediately thought I was looking for work. He introduced me to Beverly and after meeting her, I knew she was Janice’s mother. She told me she was ill and didn’t get around much, which was why they were looking for help.”
Darien stared down at the floor. “I felt like it was my duty to help her, so I took the job. I was only going to help get the repairs caught up. I never planned on staying.”
“Why did you stay?”
“You.” Darien looked at her. “I didn’t know who you were until it was too late. I thought you were Jason’s wife. Beverly mentioned her son and daughter-in-law.” She shook her head. “I kept thinking, why is she with this asshole? Then when you said you weren’t with him, I let myself fall for you. I never imagined you were Janice’s wife.”
“I’d never been with anyone until I met her. When she died, I thought I’d never be with anyone again. We live in such a rural area. For two lesbians to find each other there was damn near a miracle. So I thought finding love again would be nearly impossible. At least it was until you appeared on our property.”
“If I’d known from the beginning, I never would’ve—”
“Yes,” Courtney said, cutting her off. “We both would have because you can’t help who you fall for, no matter how hard you try to fight it.”
Darien squeezed the hand holding hers. “Where does this leave us?”
Courtney shrugged. “You’re going back to the Marines and I have to be back at the farm tomorrow.”
“Who is with Beverly? I thought about that while I was in the shower, but you scared that thought away when you opened the door.”
Courtney smiled. “Ernie and his wife are with her.”
Darien nodded. “Does this mean you’re spending the night?”
Courtney shrugged. “Well, here or a hotel. I was hoping you’d show me what your life is really like because this is about as far away from a farm as you can get.” She grinned.
“Come on.” Darien winked and stood up with her hand out to Courtney.
“I should’ve known you were into old cars when you pulled up at the house in that truck,” Courtney said, sliding into the front seat of the Mustang.
“I’ve always loved classic cars and speed. I actually restored a lot of this one myself. It took five years start to finish,” she said, starting the car and backing out of the garage.
“I see your love for music followed you to the farm too,” Courtney said over the blaring radio that came on as soon as the car was started.
“Yeah, sorry,” Darien laughed, turning the music down as she drove down the road. “Do you like seafood?”
“Yes, although we only get the frozen kind where we live.”
“There’s a really great oyster bar down here on the beach. We can have lunch and maybe take a walk.”
“Sounds good,” Courtney replied, looking around as they drove through the back of Darien’s neighborhood towards the beach.
***
Courtney couldn’t believe the view of the ocean as she ate her lunch. She’d only seen the beach in pictures and on TV, but neither of those compared to being there in the flesh.
“It’s beautiful here. I can see why you call this home.” Courtney smiled.
“Yeah, I’ve spent a lot of time on this beach over the years.”
“Back again so soon?” The waitress who had flirted with Darien the last time she was at the restaurant came over with a pitcher of iced water. “Can I get you a refill?”
Darien smiled and slid her glass over so she could top it off. The young woman winked at her before walking away.
“Who is that?” Courtney asked with a raised eyebrow.
Darien shrugged. “Val and I had lunch here a couple of weeks ago. I guess she remembered me.”
“Uh huh.”
Darien tilted her head to the side. “Are you jealous?” she asked as she paid the check. “Actually, she probably thinks I get around since I was just here with another girl recently.”
“Why would I be jealous? You have your own life and a lot of people in it apparently.”
“My last steady girlfriend was when I was in college,” Darien murmured. “No one seemed to want to hang around long enough for me to come home from deployment, so I gave up after a while. I don’t have a revolving door on my house or anything like that, but I’ve had a few companions over the years.”
Courtney grabbed Darien’s hand, lacing their fingers together as she eyed the waitress on their way out. Darien led them down the path to the thick sand.
“I can’t see you being alone long. You’re an amazing person that most people should admire, and you’re as hot as fire on a cold winter day,” Courtney said, running her thumb over the back of Darien’s hand as they walked.
Darien smiled and walked them down to the water.
“I’ve never been in the ocean!” Courtney squealed as the water lapped against her ankles.
“Well, now you can tell everyone you stepped foot in the Pacific Ocean!” Darien exclaimed, reaching down to splash her a little bit.
“Stop!” Courtney shrieked, quickly letting let go of her hand as she ran away from the water before Darien could soak her.
“Alright,” Darien laughed, catching up to her.
They walked a little further down the beach, away from the tourist shops and restaurants to a more private area for locals. Darien walked up to a spot and sat down. Courtney joined her.
“When I recovered from my injuries enough to come home, Val moved in to basically take care of me. She was able to run her business remotely, which helped me out tremendously. I spent countless hours sitting right here, feeling the heat on my skin, listening to the waves crash against the shore, and staring at nothing but darkness. Those were the longest and most difficult three months of my life.”
Courtney ran her hand up and down Darien’s back outside of her t-shirt.
“I thought my life was over, and in way, it was. The life I knew died inside of that burning wreckage, along with three young men who had their whole lives ahead of them.”
“I read the news stories,” Courtney murmured.
Darien shook her head and sighed. “That’s exactly what they are…stories. The media never did get the whole truth and they never will. Some things are better left unsaid.” Darien turned her head so she could see the woman sitting next to her. “Anyway,” she continued. “After sitting here for three months, mourning the life I had and the men I’d lost, my eye doctor introduced me to an ophthalmologist who had been working on experimental eye transplant surgery. I met with him, agreed to do the procedure, and well…you know the rest.”
“Did you come back here once you could see again?” Courtney asked.
Darien stared out at the ocean. “Yes. I came right back to this very spot where I’d sat before. It was bittersweet being able to see this view once again, knowing someone had to give their life in order for it to happen.” She turned towards Courtney. “The next three months ate me up. I couldn’t think of anything except saying thank you to my donor’s family. Val thought I was nuts when I booked a flight and took off on a whim.”
“I’m glad we got to know you.” Courtney smiled. “You know, Beverly asked me if I thought things between us would’ve been different if I’d known why you were there from the beginning.”
“What did you to tell her?”
“I said I didn’t know. But she knew better than that and called me out on it,” she said, moving closer as Darien wrapped her arm around her.
“How can two totally different lives meet in the middle?” Darien sighed.
“They can’t,” Courtney murmured.
***
The next morning, Courtney peeled herself out of Darien’s arms at the airport and boarded the plane with tears in her eyes. She knew she was walking away from her second chance at love, but she’d made a promise to Janice that if anything ever happened to h
er, she’d take care of Beverly. Which was the only reason she was able to get on that plane without looking back.
Darien didn’t have a ticket, so she couldn’t go any further than the security checkpoint. As soon as they’d said goodbye, she went outside and waited for Courtney’s plane to take off. She knew the airline and the departure time, so she was pretty sure she could figure out which one she was on. A tear rolled down her cheek as the Delta plane flew overhead just after nine o’clock. As soon as the white plane was out of sight, Darien walked to her car and headed home. She knew Courtney needed to take care of Beverly and run the farm. She also knew that life on the farm would never be enough for her.
Chapter 24
A week went by before Darien was called to meet with Cpt. Yarborough about the results of her testing. She was slightly nervous as she dressed in a white blouse and charcoal gray pantsuit. She felt butterflies in her stomach, making her want to puke in the passenger seat of her car as she headed to the base.
When she arrived, she took a deep breath and smacked her cheeks a few times to try and calm her nerves. She couldn’t believe how she could participate and command recon missions in the middle of war with insurgents trying to kill her at every flank and have no issues with her nerves. Yet, here she was awaiting simple test results and she couldn’t seem to keep her hands from shaking and her stomach from rolling.
As soon as she finally gathered the courage to walk into the building, she was shown to the captain’s office where he was awaiting her arrival.
“I have great news, good news, and other news,” he said, shaking her hand. “Have a seat.”
Darien sat down across from him and held her breath.
“I’ve known you for a long time, and I was proud to serve next to you in peace time and in combat. You were a damn good Marine and a hell of a section leader.” He opened the file in front of him and sighed. “Your FIT test was outstanding as usual. Your MEPS physical and post surgery exams are both fine. Based on all of those results, you can reenlist as early as tomorrow, but not having peripheral side vision completely disqualifies you from infantry. You will have to change your MOS.” He watched the color drain from her face. “I’m sorry, Darien. I know how much you loved your job.”
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