Now or never, Kate thought.
‘I don’t want.’ She dropped the keys on the table. He was standing right in front of her. She reached up with one hand, feeling the stubble on his cheek.
He leaned down. With his mouth millimetres away from hers, he spoke.
‘Kate.’
She could feel his breath on her face.
‘Yes?’
Finn’s mouth curled into a smile. ‘Are you flirting with me again?’
Her hands were on his hips, catching at the belt hooks, pulling him towards her, reaching into his shirt, pulling it free from his jeans.
He pulled back, breathing fast. His expression was teasing. ‘I think you might be, you know.’
As he reached behind her head, the remaining clips gave way as he tangled his fingers in her hair, tipping her head back gently. He bent, kissing either side of her mouth – two unexpectedly gentle kisses, which left her with goosebumps.
‘Come with me.’ He took her hand, pulling her through the darkened hall and into the room. As he passed the kitchen, he pulled the door closed on Willow, winking at Kate as he did so. ‘Now sit here.’ He pulled her down onto the couch.
Somehow she was unfastening his shirt buttons, her eyes not moving from his, running her finger along the smooth line of hair that led down from his navel.
‘You are definitely flirting.’ His voice sounded breathy.
Kate felt rather pleased with herself. ‘I am, aren’t I?’
He ran his finger along her jawline, reminding her of Bonfire Night and Roderick. She took a sharp intake of breath. ‘I can’t do this.’
‘You can’t?’ Finn looked at her levelly, smoothing back her hair, running his hand gently down her back.
‘I shouldn’t.’
‘Ah. That’s not quite the same as “can’t”.’
True. Kate thought again of her five years of being sensible, and of being unceremoniously dumped by Roderick before anything had even happened. In the flickering light of the fire she took in Finn’s laughing eyes, the ruffled sandy hair, the rueful smile.
‘No.’ She leaned forward, unfastening the final button of his shirt. ‘I suppose it isn’t, is it?’
He laughed, and pulled her into his arms.
Kate’s head was thumping. Willow was barking furiously at a knocking on the door. Kate pulled on her pyjama bottoms and grabbed a T-shirt. Hair flying, she ran down the stairs. She opened the kitchen door and Willow hurtled across the hall, yelping with joy. The puppy was leaping up and down with excitement as Kate fumbled with the key, her fingers as hungover as the rest of her. She pulled the stiff door open.
‘Kate.’
Roderick stood there, eyes hollow with tiredness, a quarter-inch of dark shadow on his cheeks. He looked stressed, and tired, and beautiful.
Kate felt her disobedient stomach lurch with happiness.
‘I’ve just got off the boat. I know it’s early, but I thought you’d be up with Willow.’
The puppy was there, circling his feet, ecstatic with happiness and barking madly.
‘At least someone is pleased to see me,’ he said ruefully, leaning down to tickle her tummy.
‘I am. I mean, I’m not . . . I’m just – it’s just I wasn’t expecting . . . ’ she said.
‘I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry.’ He half-turned.
She caught his arm. ‘No. Don’t go. I just didn’t expect you to appear. You didn’t . . .’ She wasn’t sure where to begin.
‘I’ve had a lot to sort out.’ He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘It’s a long story. I’ll explain, but not now.’
‘I . . .’ She stood on the doorstep, open-mouthed with horror, excitement and mortification, shivering with cold and shock in her pyjama trousers.
‘I missed you, Kate.’ He looked almost surprised that he’d said it out loud. He took a step forward, so close that his foot was in between hers. There was something strangely intimate about that one step. Kate looked down at their feet, not saying anything. They were so close. He looked at her mouth, then her eyes.
She looked away, flushing, suddenly flooded with embarrassment.
‘Kate . . .’
He caught her chin with his finger, turning her face back so that he was looking into her eyes. His hand was shaking.
He moved a fraction closer, his glance moving slowly from her eyes to her mouth, then back again. And his mouth was only a hair’s breadth from hers, and he was—
‘Any chance of that coffee now, Kate?’ Finn, clad only in a pair of jeans, thundered down the stairs.
Roderick stepped back as if scalded.
‘Morning, Roddy,’ Finn said cheerfully. ‘Back on the first ferry, I see? You didn’t say you were working today, Kate. That’s going to be a bugger, if your hangover is anything like mine.’
Kate stood, slack-jawed, incapable of speech.
‘I’m so sorry.’ Roderick’s voice was flat, his face instantly tight and closed. ‘I had no idea you had company.’
‘Dinner party up at Morag and Ted’s house last night,’ Finn informed him, oblivious to everything.
‘Of course.’
Kate was still dumbstruck, but managed to shut her mouth.
‘Kate, I’ll stick the kettle on. Roddy, a quick coffee?’
‘I don’t think so, no.’ Roderick leaned down, patting goodbye to the ecstatically squirming Willow. ‘I’ll leave you two to it then, shall I?’
‘It’s not what it looks like.’ She realized, as soon as the words were out, that they sounded hollow.
‘It’s not up to me what it looks like,’ remarked Roderick, his mouth set in a thin line. ‘You’re a free agent.’ He straightened up, turned and stalked down the drive.
‘Got any marmalade, Kate?’
She stood in the kitchen with her head in her hands. Finn was helping himself to breakfast, apparently unaware that Kate was having a minor nervous breakdown right next to him. He was actually humming to himself as he clattered around, opening and shutting drawers, finding teaspoons and mugs as the kettle boiled. Was he completely blind? She exhaled slowly, a huge out-breath of mortified horror, which caused him to look up.
‘Toast?’ He held out a slice, thickly buttered and dripping with marmalade.
‘I’m not really hungry.’
‘I’ll have yours.’ He plonked it on a tray alongside the teapot and mugs, pushing open the kitchen door with his foot. ‘We can watch a bit of crap morning television, and you can stop being embarrassed.’
She followed him through to the sitting room mutely, and curled up in a corner of the sofa, huddled beneath a blanket, abject with misery.
‘Bloody hell, Kate, was it that bad?’ Finn passed her a mug of tea. She shook her head as he offered her sugar.
‘It’s hideous,’ she said. ‘Of all the things to happen – on a scale of one to ten for awfulness – I’d rate it about a fifteen.’
Finn pulled a face. ‘I’m going to have to brush up on my technique. Maybe it’s a bit too country bumpkin for a sophisticated city chick like you?’
The penny dropped and Kate burst out laughing, despite her misery. ‘Oh God, Finn. No, you were very – oh God, I’ve forgotten about last night.’ She flushed scarlet. ‘And now I’m embarrassed about that, too.’
‘No need.’
‘I was drunk and I tore your shirt off like a fiend.’
‘Not at all. You weren’t that drunk, and you did unfasten the buttons very politely.’
Oh God, oh God!
‘But more to the point,’ he teased, ‘I was very what? Good? Amazing?’
‘You were very good. It was very good. I mean, thank you for a lovely night. But oh, nooo.’ Kate emitted a howl of despair, head in her hands. ‘It’s not that.’ She plucked at the blanket. She could see Finn’s mind working slowly.
‘You and Roddy?’
‘There isn’t any me and Roddy – well, there certainly won’t be now.’
‘Bloody hell, Kate.’ He looke
d at her with sudden recognition, blue eyes softening.
‘I know,’ she said, miserably.
Having explained the whole making-friends-having-fun-going-to-bonfire-accidental-snog scenario to Finn, Kate found she felt slightly better. Watching him flick through the channels before settling on an episode of Friends, she realized who he reminded her of – he was Joey. Gorgeous, well aware of the effect he had on women, but more interested in the chase than the morning after. He’d clearly had so many morning-afters that he didn’t feel the slightest pang of guilt. He was like a Labrador puppy, happily bounding from one person to the next, sharing his affections.
‘Well, if it’s Roddy you’re after, it’d be pointless working on a plot to make him realize what he’s missing by snogging me,’ he said, with a rueful grin. ‘I think we’ve already covered that one.’
Kate cringed, remembering the expression on Roderick’s face. Somehow she suspected he wasn’t the sort to respond to that sort of game-playing, in any case.
‘So what do I do?’
‘Nothing at the moment. You need to carry on working, get out, have some fun, let him see you’re not bothered.’ Finn took a final swig of tea.
‘I can’t see how that’ll work.’
‘You’re a gorgeous girl, Kate, and I’m not going to tread on anyone’s toes.’ Finn answered her dubious look. ‘We had a great night last night, but it was a wee bit of fun. If you’re serious about Roddy, you go for it.’
‘You don’t think he’ll have written me off after this morning?’ She felt a tiny glimmer of hope. Finn and Roderick had been friends since childhood – surely he had some idea how his friend thought?
‘I think he’s the opposite of me. There’s a lot more going on under the surface. I’m more your what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of bloke.’ He stood up, stretching. ‘It might surprise you to hear that I’m universally regarded as being the island’s agony uncle. Trust me. I know my stuff. There’s not much I haven’t seen.’
‘Okay, I’ll give you till Christmas.’ Unconvinced, Kate gathered the tea things and took them back to the kitchen.
Kate wasn’t working. She spent the day skulking around miserably, having a hot bath (after fixing the temperamental water heater, again), eating chocolate and watching Bridget Jones’s Diary on DVD. It wasn’t the same without Emma, and it wasn’t half as much fun finding herself in the part of Bridget, with Roderick as the gorgeous Darcy. Susan was too busy juggling small people to come and keep her company, and Kate didn’t have the energy to deal with an excited Jamie, who was spending all his waking hours planning his Christmas list.
For the first time since she’d been on the island, Kate felt lonely, and miserable.
Am in cottage with only log fire and dog and DVDs for company. Cheer me up?
She hit Send, and waited for Emma’s response.
Cheer you up? What happened to your mission to be a Very Bad Girl last night?
Bad Idea.
Kate sent the two-word response to Emma and closed her eyes, lying back on the rug by the fire.
Hello? I am stuck here with the entrails of three laptops and two squabbling children. I need to live vicariously.
Despite herself, Kate smiled.
Okay, brief summary. Ended up back here with Finn the Foxy Piper.
Aha. So why the bad idea?
Woke up in bed with Highland Adonis. But then
Willow leapt onto Kate’s lap, so she accidentally sent the message.
You realized he was a woman? Come on, this is like pulling teeth.
Then the door went and it was Sir Roderick of Posh, aka Mr I’m-not-going-to-fancy-you-just-because-you-snogged-me-up-against-a-wall (am having slight problem with that).
COME on! These texts are taking way too long and I am panting with excitement, as you appear to be living in a Jilly Cooper novel.
And then Sir R of P was there, just about to snog me, clearly having realized I am a morsel of foxy gorgeousness, when lo and behold, Finn the Hot Piper appears.
SHIT!
Er, yes. In just a pair of jeans. With a big ‘Yes, we did’ sign above his head.
And then what? Tell me they stripped, and fought for you whilst wearing kilts and waving daggers (pant, pant)?
Er, no. Sir R of P legged it in disgust, and Finn made me breakfast. And has now decided it’s his mission in life to act as matchmaker.
Obviously. OMG! Now that’s cleared up, I must help Katharine with her spellings. It’s all glamour round here. Call you later. Love you xxx
Kate rolled onto her back and lay for a long time, staring at the ceiling.
8
First Impressions
‘So, all that’s left to do is the bunkhouse.’ Closing the door of the holiday cottage, Kate hugged the clipboard to her chest for comfort. The atmosphere was almost as chilly as the weather.
Having been left without Roderick’s backup, she’d found herself far more involved in the cottage renovations than she’d expected. With Jean’s comforting support in the background, she’d chosen colour schemes and furnishings that she would have picked, had she been decorating her own cottage from scratch. The wooden floors had been polished and the dated kitchen cupboards replaced with wooden cabinets in muted shades of grey. The trouble was that returning to her cottage, alone, was becoming less and less appealing. Where it had seemed comfortingly untidy, it now felt lonely, set apart from the cosy group of cottages up the lane. Having thrown herself into work, Kate had seen her own decorating plans fall by the wayside. She felt alone, despite her new friends, and thoughts of escaping back to Cambridge were sneaking into her mind at inopportune moments.
‘Thank you, Kate,’ said Roderick stiffly, jingling his car keys. ‘You’ve done a wonderful job, hasn’t she, Jean?’
‘That she has.’ Jean reached across and gave Kate’s arm a little squeeze. ‘Shall we christen it with a cup of tea? I’ve got everything we need in the car.’
‘No, thank you,’ said Roderick quickly, just as Kate’s mouth was also opening to make an excuse. ‘I need to get back.’
Jean looked at the two of them, but said nothing. She’d heard all about the situation with Finn. He was prone to popping in to warm himself over the Aga with a cup of tea when he was working on the estate. Typical of men, there was no atmosphere between him and Roderick, but Jean thought that Roderick was behaving like a spoilt child, expecting to put down a toy, leave it for a month, then return to find it in exactly the same place. Smiling to herself at what the ever-more independent Kate would think about being called a toy, she decided to make herself a cup of tea, even if nobody else wanted one.
Kate marched away from the house, throwing her clipboard onto the back seat of her car, and changed her shoes for wellington boots. It was a bitter December day and the wind was whipping in from the Atlantic. She wrapped her scarf round her nose and pulled on a hat.
‘Sorry, darling, you can’t come down to Selkie Bay, you’ll be eaten alive,’ she said to Willow, closing her into her dog cage.
Locking the car, she clambered over the rocks and down onto the long, deserted beach. In the distance she could see the grey mounds. Even now she couldn’t quite make out if they were stones or seals, but the familiar banana shape of one gave it away. Sitting down on a rocky ledge, she pulled her binoculars out of her pocket.
I have binoculars. It’s official, thought Kate, I’m a seal nerd. She scanned the beach. Since the first day that Roderick had spent time teaching her all about the seals’ behaviour, she’d loved coming to Selkie Bay with a flask of coffee, her hands warm in fingerless gloves.
A group of three seal pups were exploring a rock pool, watched from a distance by their mothers, who floated, noses above the water, in the waves. Kate watched them sniffing each other, biting and ducking. All of their play was vital, teaching the pups how to survive in the wilds of the winter sea. She sat observing them until her legs were stiff with cold and her cheeks were frozen by the wind.
As she stood to leave, slowly unfolding her legs, Kate saw something hurtling across the beach. It was a tiny dog, heading straight for a group of seals with their pups.
‘Blossom! Come back here!’
Kate wheeled round, hearing a familiar voice carrying on the wind. Sandra, dressed in a pair of floral wellingtons, a very clean Barbour and a pair of immaculate moleskin trousers, was speed-walking towards her.
‘Call her away from the seals – she’ll scare them,’ yelled Kate desperately.
‘Blossom! Blossom, come here at once!’ Sandra squawked, but the terrier wasn’t listening. Kate was running forward onto the beach, calling the dog, groping in her pockets for the treats she used when training Willow.
‘Come! Blossom, come!’ Kate called again in a singsong voice, and the dog stopped barking, turning to her with an ear cocked. It was hard to be heard with the wind whipping past, but she shouted desperately, and finally the terrier cantered up the beach towards her, sitting down and taking a treat as if she deserved it.
Sandra was ranting at the dog, and at Kate, but it was falling on deaf ears. She hadn’t noticed, but Kate was staring out to the edge of the water. Dozens of seals were dragging themselves over the rocks to escape the threat. Tears stung her eyes. The seals were rushing, not looking where they were going on the rocky shoreline. Kate remembered Roderick’s explanation of the damage that could be caused to their fins and their undersides as a result. She turned to Sandra in fury.
‘Why did you let her off the lead here? Don’t you know dogs aren’t allowed on the beach when the seals are hauled out?’
‘She’s not my dog,’ snapped Sandra defensively.
Kate shook her head, too upset to speak. She stood silently and watched the last few seals slip into the safety of the waves. Sandra slunk off, taking the disgruntled Blossom with her.
The best thing to do with seals is leave them to it, Kate could imagine Roderick saying. She stood for a few moments, watching as the shape of Sandra grew smaller as she scuttled up the beach. The tiny speck climbed into her car and drove off.
‘Stupid humans,’ said Kate out loud. She turned and headed for the car, and her little dog, safely locked away out of reach of the seals.
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