Adam and I go back into what is now Dani’s room to finish assembling the bed. Even though I told him I was fully capable of completing this task and that he could go home, he insisted it’s his uncle duty. Which brought a smile on my face, since I wasn’t completely sure I would be able to do it.
“So, did you and Jason have a nice night?” He stresses Jason, acknowledging he’s using the correct name.
“Yeah, I missed Dani, though. It’s weird that after only two weeks it felt lonely here without her.”
“She’s an addicting little girl, that’s for sure.” He laughs. “What does he think of Dani?” Now we are back to the generalizations?
“He has a lot of problems with Shane. They’ve only met a few times, but I’ve probably divulged too much information, and Jason thinks I do too much for Shane.” Jason doesn’t understand, to be honest, most people don’t. I can see an outsider looking in might only see us as enablers, but in truth it’s the love for them that keeps us helping our siblings. It’s a fine line between love and enabling, at least, I think it is.
“It can be hard for people to understand if they never had an addicted relative. Everyone can say they would do this or that, but until they experience them showing up looking like shit, they really don’t know what they would do,” he says, concentrating on the bed frame.
Well, he totally understands it. Of course, he does. The worst has already happened to him, he lost the addict. It’s my fear with Shane, that one day I’ll get a call from a hospital asking me to come down to identify his body. I have to remember, my fear already became Adam’s reality.
“I know I find myself not telling him some stuff from our past or things Shane has done.” Although, I have no problem telling you. “I just don’t want to hear how I should do this or that, you know?” I look up and see Adam nodding his head up and down while screwing the headboard to the frame.
“I’d tell my friends she was traveling or some crap when they would ask why she wasn’t around. They knew I was full of shit but never called me on it.” He still doesn’t pick up his head.
“I never had to deal with that much since we never lived somewhere very long, Shane and I don’t share very many acquaintances.”
“What about your parents?”
“Dead,” I say deadpan.
“I’m sorry.” He finally looks at me with those yellow-brown irises, and I realize another thing we have in common, we have lost ones close to us. He doesn’t ask me any further questions, and I’m grateful for it. I fear if I divulge the information about my parents, he and his family could use it against Shane if they fought him for custody.
“So, is your girlfriend okay with the new situation in your life?” I desperately try to change the topic to make sure we steer clear of my parents, but I may have gone a little too personal.
“Girlfriend?” He raises his eyebrows in question. “No.” He shakes his head.
“No, she doesn’t mind, or no you don’t have a girlfriend, or you’re gay?” Okay, I may have added the last remark to keep this friendly and to appear as though I don’t care either way.
“Well, I can assure you I’m not gay, not that that there’s a problem with that, but I do prefer the company of females. Secondly, I don’t have a girlfriend, and, thirdly, if I did, I wouldn’t care what she thought about my new situation. If she wanted to be with me, she would love Dani and accept it.” He voice is laced with such conviction, it makes me think there was a girl who didn’t.
“Okay, but, really, you can be honest if you’re gay. I don’t judge.” I laugh because I want the sudden shift of uncomfortable to leave the room.
Adam starts crawling over to me on his hands and knees. I swallow a big gulp, and my mouth begins drying up. My body warms all over, anticipating his next move. He bends over me as I sit with my legs crisscrossed, playing with the tools in my hands. My heart races when he leans in, right below my ear and whispers, “I can most definitely assure you I’m not gay, it so happens the woman I want is already taken, and I’m not one to share.” The screwdriver falls out of my hands, and goose bumps overtake my body. He picks up the screwdriver and leaves me breathless when he turns around, heading back over to the bed frame.
“Umm—I’m going to get a water. Did you want anything?” I clear my throat and stand up, eager to flee the room.
“Sure, water sounds great,” he responds instantly without even a hesitation.
Once I pass the doorframe and I’m safely in the hall, I lean against the wall, putting my hand over my heart, trying to catch my breath. Less than twenty-four hours ago I was in Jason’s arms. Then Adam comes back, and all I can think of is kissing those lips and what’s under his Carhart sweatshirt. When he leaned in and whispered, I could have turned my head and our lips would have brushed against each other. Would he have kissed me back, or would he have pulled away? He smells so good, no cologne, just his scent with a mixture of soap. A scent that makes every hair on my body stand on edge.
Thank goodness she left the room, it’s all I could do not to allow my lips to meet her trembling ones. I shocked myself by admitting my feelings for her. What the hell am I thinking? I should’ve never agreed to stay and put Dani’s room together, but this damn unnerving yearning to be near her has me thinking with my irrational dick. The chance of an accidental brush of our fingers and the lingering scent of her when she passes by keeps my body stationed wherever she is. She’s my drug, and I’m quickly becoming addicted to her. Besides that, I’m a gentleman. What kind of man would leave it all for a woman to do all this? That damn socialite boyfriend probably would. He barely acknowledges Dani from what I witnessed yesterday. From the little of information she’s revealed about him, she has no one else but him to lean on.
She was apprehensive to tell me how her parents died, and I get it when someone asks you questions you don’t want to answer, so I left it alone, and she seemed happy about the fact I did. There aren’t any pictures of her parents around. The only picture in her room is of her and Shane a few years back. Her body is absolutely amazing in that pink striped bikini. I knew her dancer body had to be incredible under those clothes, but after seeing it covered by little clothing, I don’t think my imagination did it justice. Now, if only the bikini could disappear.
Leah hovers in the doorframe for a few minutes before stepping into the room. Her apprehension to be near me, confirms this electricity between us isn’t only on my end, but both of ours.
“Oh, great, you almost have it done,” she says, handing me my water.
“It wasn’t that difficult.” Even though IKEA isn’t really known for their wonderful directions, those engineering skills worked for me. Hopefully, I’ve impressed her a tiny bit.
“I really appreciate you helping me, Adam.” She grabs the mattress and positions the sheets and bedding that she bought over it. The loneliness in her voice has me wanting to yank her to me, wrapping her in the security of my arms. She’s an independent woman who can do everything herself and doesn’t need any help from others. There’s something under it, though. Almost as if, she wouldn’t mind someone to help share the load, but she’ll never admit it to anyone.
“Anytime, Leah, we’re family now, right?” I assure her. You can lean on me anytime.
“Yeah…right…family,” she almost whispers it to herself.
I sit leaning against the wall with my knees propped up, watching her hang up the clothes I bought Dani today. She sorts them between short sleeve, long sleeve, and sweaters, and then color-coded. She neatly places the shoes on the floor of the closet and then puts the pajamas into the dresser drawer. So precise and organized, makes me want to throw her down and kiss her senseless. Let her know it’s okay to be a mess sometimes and see what could happen when she unwinds a little.
“Adam, this was so nice. I really could have handled her clothes, but thank you.” She turns her head to look over her shoulder and smiles at me. My heart rate increases just by the happiness I can bring her.
“I know, but you went to really nice stores; it must have cost you a small fortune.”
“Well, I know women like the expensive stuff.” She turns around and scrunches her forehead, but quickly smirks.
“True, but sometimes you would be amazed what you find in a sale’s bin.” Please, tell me I’m not what she considers some dollar store deal. She walks over to me and sits cross-legged across from me, taking in the transformed room. “It looks like a little girl room, right?” she asks.
“Definitely, just put a no boys sign outside, and it’s complete,” I joke, and she joins me.
“Good, it’s just when I came in here earlier, and she was putting those pictures up, I figured she needed a space that was hers. I’m beginning to think she’s never had her own space.” The love she feels for Dani lights up her eyes, making my heart open for her all the more.
“That’s part of the reason for all the clothes; she was so happy when we were shopping, trying everything on and modeling. I couldn’t help buying it all for her,” I admit.
Silence comes over the room for a few minutes, and I look at my watch again and realize I should probably leave. It’s late, and I’m sure she wants to get some sleep. As much as I wish I could walk into her room and crawl into bed with her. Imagining the feel of those breasts against my chest and those smooth legs wrapped around mine, I do the polite thing. “I should probably get going. I have to be on the site early tomorrow.”
“Oh, of course. I’m sorry for keeping you. Thank you again.” She stands up and starts to walk out of the room.
“Hey.” I grab her elbow and turn her around to face me. Her green irises stare into mine, and I swear a flicker of desire vibrates in them. “Don’t be sorry. I wanted to help, and it’s worth it knowing how happy Dani will be when she wakes up and sees her new room.”
“Okay, but, really, Adam, I truly do appreciate it.” She reaches her arms around my neck and presses herself against me in a light hug.
Wrapping my arms around her waist, I tug her into me, tightening the hug. My eyes close when the vanilla smell of her hair consumes my senses. It’s a perfect fit, as though my arms were made for her. Her body begins to relax and meld into mine while my hands splay across her back, gently inching up. Before my fingers have a chance to run through her golden locks, she steps out of my arms. Our eyes find each other again, but it’s written all over her face. Her body might be screaming for me, but her mind will always win and that rational part will never let her sway to the likes of someone like me.
I follow her to the front door, a hollowness already residing in my heart. I would love nothing more than to stay here with the two of them.
“Bye, Leah, I’ll text you on times for this weekend—with Dani.” I bring us back to formalities. As much as I wish I could beg her, I won’t.
“Oh, God, I completely forgot to tell you.” Her hand flies to her mouth, and her green eyes bulge. “Dani and I have to go up to Minnesota—for a family rehab thing with Shane. We’re leaving on Thursday and won’t be back until Monday.” That empty hole just expanded a little more. No way will I go without a week of seeing either of them.
“How are you getting there?” I ask, hoping like hell there could be a chance she’d let me take them. It’ll be hard to get off of work, but I’ll make it happen.
“Jason was supposed to be driving us, but he has to go to an event for his Dad,” she says focusing down at her feet as she shuffles them back and forth. “I think I’m going to take the train. I figure Dani will have fun, and that way I don’t have to worry about spending the night in a hotel on the way up there.”
What a douche, seriously? His dad is having a party, so he’s deserting the woman he loves to travel five hundred miles with a three-year-old by herself. And, she’s allowing it?
“I’ll take you.” I don’t ask, because I’m absolutely not taking no for an answer on this.
“No, I can handle this myself.” She stops fiddling and stares right into my eyes. She’s showing me another side, her determination.
“I know you can, but I want to. We can still take the train if you want?”
“Adam, you’ve done enough. I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask me, I volunteered.”
“I am perfectly capable to—”
I put my finger on her lips interrupting her. “End of discussion. Okay?” She nods her head slowly up and down. Feeling her hot breath stream out of her mouth, has my jeans beginning to tighten.
“Goodnight, Leah,” I say, removing my finger from her lips.
She says nothing as I shut the door behind me. I wait a few seconds and hear her lock the three locks. Then I walk down the steps to my car.
Although I wouldn’t have passed up spending last night with Leah, when my alarm starts screaming at five am, it’s all I can do not to turn it off and call in sick. I’m physically exhausted, and the thought of standing on my feet all day is too much. Since I need to somehow convince Mick for Friday and Monday off, it’s important I’m on time today. So, I scramble out of bed and jump in the shower while Leah fills my every thought. I regret admitting my feelings for her last night. Not only does she have a boyfriend, but there’s so much else working against us. Unfortunately, even with all the reasons it won’t work, I can’t help myself from allowing her to invade me. A gut feeling that we’re meant to be, that we were meant to find one another. I have no idea how I’ll get through five days of keeping a safe distance between us. The need to hold her or kiss her echoes through my brain. It’s becoming stronger, and I doubt I’ll be able to stave it off much longer. The only thing stopping me is I don’t want to hurt her or make her do something she’ll regret. When she accepts whatever this is between us, I want it to be on her terms.
Luckily, Mick is okay with me missing the two days. I say there’s a family obligation I need to attend to, and, since he knows my family, he agrees with no questions asked. I hate to use the family card, but with such short notice and the fact I can’t lose this job, I have no choice. Marcus comes up to me and clasps my shoulder.
“What are you going to do about it?” A small smirk and curious eyes face me now.
“Do about what?”
“The aunt. Obviously that’s where your head is today.” He knocks his fist on my skull.
“Honestly—I have no idea.” I pull my skullcap off, my palm rubbing my hair front and back.
“Come on, man, when has a little competition ever stopped you before? Remember that time with that little blonde—”
“It’s not like that, I don’t just want her for the night, Marcus. Not to mention there’s more to it than her jackass boyfriend.” Just as I’m about to inform him how wonderful Leah is my phone beeps alerting me to a message.
“Maybe that’s Auntie Fine,” Marcus says, amusing himself.
“I seriously doubt…holy crap, you’re right.” Leah’s name fills my screen, and my heart soars just seeing her name on my phone.
Marcus leans over my shoulder while I press play to a video of Dani this morning walking into her new room. I hear Leah’s voice in the background telling Dani to come in. The blonde, curly haired girl bounds into the room and a huge smile brightens her face. She overflows with happiness. Expressing how much she loves it, Dani crawls into the bed right away, hugging the two princess dolls I bought yesterday to her chest. Leah tells her to say thank you Uncle Adam, and Dani turns to the phone and says thank you. Then her little lips kiss the screen, and Leah starts laughing before it clicks off.
“Man, I can see why you’re going crazy. That laugh alone has me wanting to wack off,” Marcus says.
“Don’t make me kick your ass, man.” I press play again to watch it a second time. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of it.
“I’ll pray for you.” Marcus pats my back then walks away laughing his ass
off.
I ignore him and decide to text a thank you to Leah.
Adam: You made my morning, thank you.
Leah: You are very welcome. She loves it.
Adam: I’m glad, I think we should win aunt and uncle of the year.
Leah: I agree ☺
Leah is unbelievable. The video was the most thoughtful thing anyone has done for me in a really long time. Marcus is right, her laugh is awakening parts of my body that have been lying dormant for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been celibate or anything. It’s something more than sex, though; it’s a life I’m craving with her. It scares me that I could be confusing the whole scenario because of my love for Dani. I could replay that video over and over again just to hear Leah’s voice and laughter mixed with Dani’s.
After Adam left last night, I locked the three locks and leaned against the door, letting my body slowly slide to the floor. As happy as I was that he’s taking us to Minnesota, I knew this could be disastrous. Every time we’re together my nerves stand at attention, and now I committed myself to five days with him. I don’t know how Jason will handle the news. Then again, it isn’t his choice, he already made his.
I stood up and turned off the lights. I crawled into bed with Dani and checked my phone. I was surprised there was nothing from Jason which is weird, usually there was a good night text or something from him. He must have been busy. I put my phone down, snuggled up with Dani, and dreamed of the golden-eyed boy who just entered my life.
I drop Dani off at daycare. Mrs. Connie is waiting to lead her in again, which I’m grateful for since I’m running late. Dani was enjoying her room so much, we became distracted and before I realized it we were way behind schedule.
When I get to campus and am about to pass the construction site, I’m secretly hoping to get a glimpse of Adam, but the site is bare. It’s probably a good thing; I need to keep that relationship at an arm’s length. The last thing Dani needs is a strife between her new aunt and uncle if things happened and then dissipated quickly. Now if I could just get my mind, body, and heart to all agree, my life could be simple again. Every cell in my body surges when he comes close, closing off any logical thinking my brain tries to overpower.
Familiar Ground Page 11
