When she said nothing, his heart cracked deeper. Any moment, she would probably throw him out, and he deserved it. He waited, but each minute increased his tension, so he glanced up to see her expression. Tears rained down her cheeks, unchecked. No sobs came from her mouth but he had never seen any woman look so sad.
“I need you, Jamie. I love you, and after last night, I thought…”
“I love you too, honey,” he said. He did. Always had, still would. “That’s why I don’t want to mess up your life.”
“You wouldn’t. You couldn’t.”
Kerry groped across the table for a napkin to blot her streaming eyes. “Don’t cry,” he said. It hurt to watch her weep. “I probably would. And that’s the last thing I want. I don’t mean to hurt you. I’m tryin’ to save you from me.”
Her eyes widened, bright with tears. “What if that’s not what I want?” she said with a catch in her voice. “If you love me, won’t you at least try?”
The naked anguish in her face swayed him. “I want to, Kerry,” he told her. “I’d like that more than anything.”
“Then let’s do it, Jamie, please.”
She offered hope, something in short supply in his world. He ached to believe it could be within his reach. “All right,” he said. Relief flooded his heart and overflowed.
The brilliance of her smile smote him and all but blinded him. James released the breath he had been holding. Maybe it would turn out all right after all.
****
Together they did everything he hadn’t done since he came back from the Middle East. They ate breakfast at the diner and held hands while waiting for their pancakes and bacon. James put a few quarters into the old jukebox and played two songs from their past, songs that had meant something, once. From Kerry’s misty expression, he guessed they still did.
James plucked the morning paper left behind by another diner from a table and started reading it. The local headlines seemed almost strange in their quiet normalcy. New playground equipment had been purchased for the local parks, the high school choir concert was scheduled for next week, the City Council approved a new ordinance to allow no more than three rummage sales per address per year, and the date had been set for the annual Autumn Apple Festival. Once, he might have mocked each thing as silly or meaningless, but now he savored each one, a thread in the fabric of small-town life. He read the obituaries and wondered about the lives the newly deceased had lived, grinned at the new baby announcements, and skimmed the employment section.
“Did you notice Skye High Construction has an ad?” Kerry asked.
He swallowed a mouthful of coffee. “Yeah, I saw that.”
She stared at him, her eyes huge. “You could do that, work in construction, Jamie.”
He opened his mouth to say he couldn’t, then considered it. For a guy who hadn’t known jack about carnivals or setting up rides when he started, he had learned quickly. A funny little prickling somewhere around his stomach grew stronger. “I probably could.”
“Maybe you should.”
Three words dropped between them, heavy with possibility. “I’d have to stay,” he said.
She spoke at the same time. “If you wanted to make a life here, it would be a good start.”
James tightened his fingers around hers. “Kerry, I want to try.”
“I’d hoped you would.” Her voice was a breath between them, light as a breeze. “You can move in with me if you’d like.”
Now he recognized the prickling as hope, something he hadn’t known for a long time. “I would,” he said. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“What if I don’t get the job?”
Kerry’s smile remained serene. “Then you’ll get another one.”
God, he wanted to believe so bad. “Maybe.”
“You will. I believe in you, Jamie.”
Her words were the absolution and blessing he needed. “Then okay. Now, let’s eat.”
After breakfast, he went to several garage sales with her. As she picked over the miscellaneous items offered, the salt and pepper shakers, and the plastic dishes and old DVDs, James imagined a life in a ranch house on a residential street. He could actually see the possibility, and slipped into a sweet daydream.
On summer mornings, he would wait until the dew evaporated and mow the grass. After he finished, he would use a trimmer around Kerry’s flower beds and her herb garden. Then he would strip off his shirt, go take a shower, and when he finished, she would be there to hand him a cold beer. They would barbecue hamburgers and hot dogs on a charcoal grill, maybe invite the neighbors over. After dark, when they were alone, they would dance to low music on the patio, smelling honeysuckle, and loving the way the wind whispered around them.
Three more sales, then they stopped at the library where Kerry checked out two novels and a movie. Last, they hit the supermarket, where she bought the fixings for chili and a giant bag of tortilla chips. He watched as she put a six-pack of beer into the cart and smiled.
“Are we headed home?” he asked after they stowed the groceries in his truck.
Home. He savored the word on his tongue, the meaning reaching his heart.
“Yes,” she said. “I thought we’d go to a drive-through and pick up a couple of cheeseburgers first. Are you hungry?”
At this moment James didn’t care if he ever ate again. “I’m starving,” he told her. “I want you.”
As he spoke, the atmosphere in the truck charged with a potent energy. Kerry grinned and put her hand on his knee. “Oh, Jamie, yes!”
During the short drive, his cock stiffened because Kerry scooted beside him. She rubbed his crotch as he drove, a distraction if he’d ever had one, but he loved it. Her other hand roamed across his shoulders, flirted with his hair, and stroked his cheek. By the time they entered the apartment, they were both in serious heat. Kerry shoved the perishables into the fridge and stripped. Her clothes dropped to the floor and she reached for him, beautiful and nude.
“Take me now,” she panted. “I can’t wait.”
James wasn’t a man to deny the lady’s request. His cock throbbed with need but he wanted to take her slow, to enjoy every stroke, each caress, and every thrust. He tore his shirt and jeans off with wild haste. If she hadn’t pressed against him, skin to skin, her breasts rubbing against his chest, he could have held back. Instead, Kerry ignited a savage fire and he wrapped her in his arms.
He kissed her mouth, rough and hard. Her lips rose to the challenge and molded to his, pliant as wax, hot as cayenne. James savored the silk of her skin against his as the heat of their bodies pressed together. His hands roamed over her breasts, delivering caresses and rubbing her nipples until they hardened beneath his fingers. Kerry shivered and notched his desire to a higher level, something he thought impossible moments earlier.
Fever rippled through his body from mouth to prick. James lowered one hand and massaged her mound until Kerry moaned. Then he thrust a finger into her pussy, marveling at the heat radiating within. He stretched until he could manipulate her bud and when he did, she gasped, then dug her nails into his shoulders. James caught her hands in one of his and held them tight. “Bedroom,” he said.
Somehow he managed to maneuver her there without losing his hold or his erection. His cock swelled so tight it ached, and he backed her onto the bed. Kerry spread her legs wide and he rammed between them with force. He packed her box to full capacity and judging from her reaction, she gloried in every stroke. Kerry moaned as she clawed his back with her nails. Then she locked her legs around his back and drove him deeper.
Each thrust he made set off a new wave of pleasure. James found his rhythm and they rocked to it together. He slowed his pace and the excruciating delight robbed his breath. He slid up and down within her, each movement spiraling intense physical sensations. As the energy built between them, he knew they would climax soon and yielded to it.
The moment the explosion began, he went blind. His other senses diminish
ed in the wake of ultimate wonder, the powerful spasms racked his body. In the final moments, he thought he might die and if so, he would go happily. A low groan filtered into his ears and he realized the sound came from his own lips. Kerry’s shrieks were less subtle.
After he grounded, he pulled her into his arms and pulled the comforter over them both. James held her, her breath gentle against his chest, the sound of her heartbeat comforting to his soul. “I love you,” he told her.
She smiled. “I know, Jamie,” she said. “I love you, too.”
Later, much later, after they showered, dressed, and ate, they went to the carnival. James needed to retrieve his clothes and a few personal things from his trailer. And he allowed Kerry to come into the small space. She said little, but she did point out his latest drip candle.
“Did you make it?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, it was kind of a hobby.”
“Aren’t you going to take it?”
James considered it and shook his head. “No, I don’t need it. I don’t even want the trailer. I think I’ll give it to Grumpy.”
Kerry laughed. “Is he one of the Seven Dwarves?”
Laughing together was almost as good as sex, he thought. “Naw, he’s just an old guy who shares a trailer with an asshole and can use it more than me. Okay with you?”
“Absolutely,” she told him. “Do you have to give someone notice?”
“Carnies come and go all the time,” he said. “I’ve got a few good-byes to say, that’s it.”
Once James said his good-byes, they rode the Ferris wheel together one last time, the colorful lights of the show spreading out beneath them, a sharp contrast to the street lamps of the small town he would call home. With one arm around Kerry, a sense of belonging wrapped him in contentment, and the realization that he had finally made it home settled somewhere around his heart.
He kissed her, his heart of glass mended and stronger than ever.
He wasn’t Sandman any more. He wasn’t even James.
Being Kerry’s Jamie was good enough for eternity.
The End
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Other Books by Lee Ann Sontheimer Murphy:
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Carnival Glass Page 4
