“Well, yay for you guys,” she shot back, still gazing into the distance. Several more minutes passed, and she spoke, restrained but sincere. “Just so you know, right or wrong, if he would have shot you, I would have killed him.”
“I know. So does he.”
“And he needs to know—what he did? That can’t happen again. I can say I do actually understand why he did it, but from here on out, it’s up-front. No blindsiding.”
“Yeah, he won’t.” He rested a sympathetic gaze on her. “We’ll work with you. It’ll be tough and complicated and frustrating as hell. But we’ll be ready. We gotta be. And then it may get real bad before it gets better.”
Recovered enough, she risked a peek over at him and quickly lowered her lids. Seeing him at the business end of any weapon was traumatic. How the hell was this all going to work? A deep sigh helped release what remained of her upset. She hugged his arm, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “This was some of why you said I might regret coming along.”
“Some.”
“Some.” Another resigned sigh. “I know. And believe me, I’m still trying to get my head around just how what seems like putting you in more danger is supposed to get you out of it.”
“Well, it’s either that or we run for the rest of our lives and never call one place our home.”
“Yeah, I get that. It’s still just… just…” She trailed off as his words sank in, and she sat back and blinked at him.
Smile lines dimpled his cheeks, as her mind worked over his intimation to understanding. Our home?
“You… just said…”
“I know what I said.”
A small squeal escaped her as Alex grabbed Aaron in a hug that nearly strangled him and just about sent them both off the rock.
He slapped a hand down on the granite beside him to steady them and held her tight with his other arm. “Well, you wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t the case, now would you?”
“Okay, well, she’s either a lot more resilient than I thought, or you give a damn good talk. I don’t know if I should be impressed or worried.”
Aaron didn’t reply, just shot Les a sideways grin.
“Uh-huh.” Les shook his head at Aaron. “Well, all the same, I’m glad she’s better.”
Upon the two coming back inside, Alex provided Les a warm greeting and grabbed Mikey to help her make lunch for them all. Cheerful chatter now elicited giggles from her shy cohort as they gathered various condiments, meat, and bread from the refrigerator.
Les, Andy, and Aaron stood over near the computers.
“Dude, what did you say to her?” Andy asked, also taken aback by Alex’s quick recovery from Les’s little experiment. And curious.
Still offering no explanation, Aaron only sent Andy a wink.
Andy waited, at last giving up on any answer. “Well, I would’ve been pissed for days if I was her.” He glowered over at Les. “I’m actually still a little pissed anyway. That was cold, man.” He shuffled off to go join Alex and Mikey.
Aaron put his foot up on the edge of a chair and leaned over to tie a bootlace.
Les glanced at him again and smirked. “Best bloody damage control I’ve ever seen.”
Andy leaned in close to Alex as she assembled sandwiches. “Okay, you gotta tell me. What did he say to you?”
Alex just eyed him, her face alight.
“Aw, c’mon. You too? Really? I mean, you were like so mad! And then you come back in here like nothing at all happened? You gotta tell me!”
“Andy, you’re such a girl.” She cocked her head at him. “And how do you know I’m not playing a psych job on you?”
“Oho no. I know it’s nothing like that. I mean, you look like you either just won the lottery or got like the best Christmas present… ever!”
Alex smiled back at him. “Better.”
Their meal finished, all remained at the table, engrossed in conversation.
Full of curiosity and after hearing more of the details of what transpired on the ship, Andy at last commented to Aaron. “That’s crazy, man. You’re a real revenant.”
Aaron just shook his head and rested his chin in his hand.
In answer to Alex’s look, Andy must have assumed she needed an explanation. “Revenant. You know, a ghost, spirit. Like that.”
Alex nodded back at Andy as Les asked Aaron what they’d all wondered for some time. “Just how did you get out of that? You should’ve been blown to bits.”
Aaron glanced around at their inquisitive looks and shrugged. “Simple physics really. Kick off hard, dive deep. Got just far enough under the hull and away. Maybe that grenade wasn’t the greatest.” He reached over, and Alex took his hand in both of hers as he continued. “Did get knocked for a pretty good loop though. It wasn’t like I had that whole thing planned ahead or anything.”
“But why didn’t you let us know then that you were still alive?” Les asked.
“Well, once I realized that I was, I was still a little out of it at first. And I still wasn’t sure at that point just what we were actually dealing with. Worked my way around the ships. Made sure. Then I thought it would just be easier to disappear. Fewer questions. And plausible deniability for the rest of you. So I hid out near the stern of our ship, and when we got close to shore, took a swim.”
Les nodded his approval. “Overall good idea, I guess. It worked out.”
Alex eyed Les. Shifting her attention back to Aaron, she gave him a bleak yet relieved sigh. “I know I don’t understand all this yet. But I sure am glad you’re okay.”
Aaron squeezed her hand. “Maybe I’ve gotten a little too used to disappearing over the years. I shouldn’t have this time. I’m sorry.”
“You’re here now. That’s what matters.”
“He’s never been okay.” Les grinned.
Aaron unfolded the middle finger of the hand supporting his chin and smirked at his friend from behind its uplifted rebuff.
“Yeah, I got that. Bloody insane loon.”
The grin and raised digit remained in place, and Aaron arched an eyebrow.
Les returned a peppy hike of his own brows and laughed. “You did miss out on all the bloody debriefing joy though,” he said as he finished his chuckle. “Never know too. If you hadn’t done what you did, things might be a whole lot different now. I’ll bet our new ‘friends’ had lookouts dockside by the time we got there. If they’d seen you and jumped us then? That coulda been a real fiasco.”
Aaron nodded to Les. “We’d have fought back in defense. Which could have resulted in… more casualties.” He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “Any confrontation at that point could’ve had a disastrous outcome. Plus there’d have been the additional aftermath of landing us all in a foreign jail as authorities sorted out the mess.”
“Bloody mess indeed.” Les turned his attention to Alex. “Since you’re ‘present’ again, I’d like to know your thoughts on what I did earlier.”
Alex shot him a black look. “I’ll reserve what I could say for myself, because it’s not real nice. But…” She gave a long pause before continuing. “I knew you wouldn’t really shoot him. You came out to find us, help us, and brought us here. Why would you do all that just to end it?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “But don’t think that makes it all okay. You’re still not on my favorites list right now, buddy.”
Les eyed her a moment. “Hmm. And what if maybe I had decided to cash in?”
He waited, judging her reaction. She just raised an eyebrow, giving him a look. He chuckled at her.
“But no. Good read,” he said with approval. “You were thinking beyond the scope of the immediate situation, yet I know you were ready to act.”
Alex didn’t disagree.
“We’re gonna get into something a bit tougher now,” he said after a moment.
“Oh great,” Andy interjected. “Worse?”
Les fired a hard look at Andy. “Yes. Mentally, worse. But lucky you, this will be more for her.”
/> Alex closed her eyes. What could be worse than threatening, or pretending to threaten, Aaron’s life? But this was all for the good of keeping him safe, right? What in the world did Les have planned this time?
She raised her lids to find Aaron’s consoling gaze on her, and she gave Les a solid stare. “Whatever it takes.”
Les nodded his satisfaction, steel-blue eyes sparkling, then turned to Aaron. “How you feel about getting shot for real this time?”
In his element with computers and electronics, Mikey was more open, animated, and conversational. Alex spent several hours beside him later at his main station as he elaborated on some of the finer details of surveillance and spying. He also touched on the seedier aspects of the dark web.
Besides those two goons that had tracked her and invaded her apartment the couple of weeks prior, he informed her that she’d also been tracked through her social media and some online business accounts. Essex and team had monitored her location and whom she associated with, searching for any indication of Aaron.
The knot in her stomach threatened to make her vomit. She also had the urge to go take a very hot shower to wash away the feeling of being violated. She sighed. She had wanted to know. More grateful than ever to have always been discerning with posting media, she concentrated on Mikey’s words to help squelch her disgust. It also kept her mind off Les’s upcoming lesson.
Intrigued but hopelessly lost at some of Mikey’s explanations, she voiced a thought. “Okay. I have a question. Well, maybe more of a request and question. Can you upload something, like say a picture to a website, and make it look like it was taken and sent from a completely different location?”
Mikey eyed her with mirth. “Well, sure! That’s child’s play. Where in the world would you like something sent from?”
His confidence and knowledge helped ease her discomfort. Alex giggled at his amusement. “Okay. I was just thinking. I sell photographs to a few different sites. I just figured I’d put that on hold for a while. But would it be possible, or even a good idea in our situation, to upload some over the next couple of days or weeks and make it look like I’m in another country?”
Mikey squinted before excitement consumed his features. “Oh man, I totally get you! And that is such a sweet idea!” Deft fingers flew over the keyboard. “They’re watching two of those sites already. If they think you’re traveling, they’ll be chasing their own tails trying to find ya. And spread it out over the next few weeks? Yeah. This… will be fun!” His digits paused on the keyboard, and he looked back over at her. “We’ll run it by Bear first and see what he thinks, but I figure he’ll go for it. Whatcha got for me?”
Alex retrieved her camera and pulled the card, which Mikey inserted into his system. He brought up her gallery.
“You’re not actually traveling, so your passport won’t flag. But this will show up on your website and accounts, so it’ll still make them look. Give those boys something to do!” He laughed. “What ones you want sent, and what sites you want ’em to go to?”
Alex gave him the details, and he pulled up several of her scenic photos to the screen. “Step one, change any embedded data on where it was taken and the date. Step two… Where would you be?”
“I… don’t know. I guess I really hadn’t thought that far.” She paused a moment. Any thoughts on her own travel planning had screeched to a halt when Aaron showed up. Europe? Australia? That’s what she’d told the girls. “Based on the scenery, where do you think would match? What countries?”
“Hmm… Pines and mountains, flowers and rocks, and sunsets. Some of the sunsets can be almost anywhere since you don’t have identifying markers in the foreground. The mountains and trees…” He switched screens and brought up similar photos from the web. “Best places for stuff like this to match? Austria. Or Germany. Maybe Finland. Ha, or even New Zealand. Those basic areas work. Heck, we can send you all over the place! And the sites don’t care where you are unless they’re wanting something specific. They’re just buying photographs.” He glanced at her, back at his screens. “A big plus in this too is you like photographing more off-the-beaten-path stuff, not the easily identifiable touristy stuff.” He grinned and chuckled. “Flower wise, we’ll do some quick research. For the trees too. Don’t want to upload something that doesn’t even grow there. You never know who might be knowledgeable on botany.”
Several days later came the more intensive firearms instruction. They used the indoor range set up in one of the larger adjacent buildings, which also served as a workout area and more storage. The weather had taken a turn for the worse with snow showers and high winds whipping outside. Les’s training this time was to have Alex actually shoot both of them. He and Aaron explained to her in detail the heavy-duty body armor they both would wear. A lengthy discussion convinced her, for the most part, that nothing she shot would get through it. Andy, who had elected to come along, also made an attempt at reassuring her.
When targeting a suit mounted at the end of the range, Alex had no trouble placing accurate groupings and inspecting the results. No through penetrations. Easy enough. She’d been shooting at targets since she was five years old. But Les wanted to test her will, impress upon her what it would be like to target and fire on a live person. To feel the difference in emotion between inanimate object and human.
Les’s idea behind that was as a means to better condition Alex for the real possibility of having to defend herself and shoot someone. Regardless of her earlier response to his front of turning on Aaron, just assuming she could fire in defense was not good enough. And targets were one thing. A real, live body would provide an altogether different mental scenario.
Les and Aaron stood about thirty feet away from her.
“Dude, you’re twisted,” Andy commented to Les.
“I know it’s unorthodox. But she can handle it.”
“I know she can, just should she right now?” Aaron asked, worried about dumping another tough psych job on Alex so soon after Les’s last. She was strong, but would this leave her too shell-shocked and upset? I’ll take whatever he throws at me had been her resolute statement to him that morning as they dressed for the day. Her unwavering independence, her will to get it done impressed the hell out of him. Regardless, this part was still very new and disturbing for her to have to experience. Let alone the fact that he would be one of the targets.
“It will probably be one of the hardest things you’ll have to do,” Les told her. “But when you do, it will help desensitize you, help you detach emotionally. Plus it will help with part of the plan we’re coming up with for this mission. Do you understand?”
Alex stared at Les. “I understand just fine. It’s just the actual doing it.” She looked down at her pistol in her hands and muttered, “Detach emotionally, my ass…”
“The best way is to just aim and do it. Don’t think about it, just do it. Then it’ll be over.” Aaron tried to encourage her, though he doubted he was doing a very successful job of it.
God, that despair in her eyes. Though he had long since dealt with his own insecurities and pain brought out in his training from those years ago, watching her trepidation now brought some of it back to mind. His young punk self, learning tactics and lessons no one should ever have to, too overconfident, not truly knowing what lay ahead for him at the time. And… the very first time he’d had to kill. He bit back the sudden urge to whisk her away, to tell Les thanks but no, thanks, and take her somewhere she’d never have any risk of experiencing a fraction of the hurt he knew all too well.
This situation was dragging up emotions for him he’d thought long gone. Why was this coming up so strongly now? On an average day, they were just memories without emotional attachment. Just the past. Stuff he’d gotten over. But no day was average anymore, not since he’d met her. Damn. So much for feeling he had his own psyche together.
For completely different reasons, they would be teaching her to suppress her own feelings of compassion and remorse. Exactly what had b
een done to him. Good for combat, horrible in the aftermath. It always came back. He clamped down on his thoughts and refocused. He’d get a handle on his own inner state later. Right now she was what mattered. Getting her through this. This would be nothing like the harshness he’d endured. And he would be here to support her.
“Well, it’s too late. I’ve already thought about it. And too much.” Shimmering eyes shone from her fallen face as she looked over at him.
“It’s okay, really. Just go ahead. It’ll be fine.”
“You must really trust my aim,” she said after stalling a few more moments.
Aaron thought back to the ship and his first encounter with Alex about her carry. As he’d taken her offered weapon from her with the grip in hand, his previous perception of her had solidified. Just the difference in how she’d carried herself showed she was aware and careful, displaying full knowledge of the importance and consequence of her concealed weapon. And she did know how to handle it. While still not knowing the quality of her shooting at that point, the simple dexterity in her actions had strengthened his impression and his confidence in her being armed. Add to that the accuracy she’d now displayed at the range. He chuckled and offered some more assurance. “We have seen you shoot, remember? I think we’re pretty safe.”
Les muttered over at Aaron. “Well, at least in your case I’m sure she’ll be bloody careful.”
“Should’ve thought more on that one before you set this up, huh?” Aaron smirked back at Les.
Les rolled his eyes.
Aaron returned his attention to Alex. “It’ll be just fine. We trust you. We’re ready.”
Alex raised her gun to target his chest. Oh, this is just hell. Stance set, aim accurate, she let her trigger finger inch back inside the guard. The smooth crescent of metal, so familiar and comfortable in a range or self-defense settings, touched pitiless and bitter against her digit. A sudden bleak chill clutched at her insides, her active imagination making its presence felt in dreadful images.
Off the Deep End Page 21
