by Meg Elison
The arms bunker was too far away from the underground city, the boys grumbled. They all talked about the first time they had seen it with a kind of reverence, passing it from mouth to mouth—a fable told by every Mother at bedtime.
“Enough guns for a thousand mish. Rows and rows, all different kinds. Whole rooms of just ammo. Just like home, all set aside for us by the old world. They said that when they found it, it breathed in like a living child. It was waiting for us, because they knew that we would have to fight, isn’t that right?”
The hatch was concealed just as the other one had been in Ommun, but the approach was more complicated. One of the younger boys pestered Rei until he relented, letting the little redhead do the job of opening it.
Located at four points around the hatch were steel posts, each housing a metal toggle switch under a cloudy plastic cover. Eddy watched as the boy paced carefully between them, flipping them all up and then down in a careful sequence. When he was finished, he nodded his coppery head at them and stepped back. After a few minutes, the hatch came up soundlessly and two older men appeared beneath it, smiling through their beards.
Eddy descended the steel rungs of the ladder, feeling like he was in a dream. Rei stayed up top with the boys, and Gabriel followed downward.
Unlike Ommun’s steel gray, everything in this bunker was white. The walls were lined with bright-white, unblemished plastic that baffled the light that seemed to come up from the ground. Eddy stared down at it, uncomprehending.
“Where does the light come from?”
One of the bearded guardians shrugged beneath his flannel shirt. “From the sun. The machine is old, but it never stops working.”
Eddy thought of Alice’s glow paint, and the thin glass bulbs he found in houses, that gave off a golden glow in pictures he’d seen. The brightness in the armory was terrible; he knew he’d have a headache if he stayed too long.
“We need to be outfitted for a mish not far from here. A rifle for every man, with .22s for the little ones. Pistols all around, as well. Armor we’ll have to tie and drag up.”
The beards were nodding, opening large drawers in the walls.
Inside were untold numbers of black guns, every shape and size that Eddy had ever seen and quite a few that he hadn’t. His knees wobbled.
“You have . . . You have . . .”
Gabriel looked at him with alarm. “Are you alright? Can you breathe okay?”
Eddy slumped against a wall, thinking of the deals he had seen made for even broken and rusted guns. The way the Lion’s eyes had raked over Eddy’s revolver, the eyes of his Paws darting toward it, unable to look away. Knives were better, less dangerous and more useful in every way. But guns were like the Lion’s cats: a symbol of danger at your disposal.
Guns make us men.
Eddy’s hand brushed the flat front of his jeans before circling to the back.
“Do you have ammo for this?” Eddy’s mouth was dry.
Graybeard took the revolver and expertly knocked out the cylinder with a flick of his wrist. “Sure, plenty. Plus lots more like this one, not many can handle ’em. You want a set?”
“I want a dozen.”
I want one for every woman in Nowhere and every woman I meet on the road. I want to come back here every summer and get more.
The armor turned out to be black vests and helmets that they tied into a brutal garland. Gabriel carried the end of the rope up the ladder, and the boys hauled the train through the hatch. Rifles were handed up next, up a line of men through to the boys, one at a time. Handguns were loaded into two bags that Gabriel packed out.
Eddy took his two guns: one new and one old. The bearded men had given him a new kit to clean them with and shined up his old ones. They scoffed at the handmade bullets he still had in the chamber and gingerly tipped them out, filling the cylinder with machine-made old bullets from the old world, uniformly cruel and stamped, each one exactly the same.
They loaded his bag with boxes of more of them, and exactly twelve revolvers, as he had asked. They weighed him down terribly, and he couldn’t think of what to say. His thanks would never be enough. He strained and grunted to get up the ladder. He hoped his straps would hold out until he made it back to Nowhere.
It’s like carrying a little girl on my back.
A couple little girls.
He adjusted the straps over and over, trying to settle the weight. Gabriel unrolled the map again and showed them the way they would follow to Jamestown. They walked through the night, by the light of the moon. They knew Jamestown by its fires, dark-blue smoke against a light-blue dawn.
Eddy slept fitfully, his back humped over on his pack. He woke twice thinking his legs were cramping, but it was only memory that seized. He found his legs curled and painless, and he thought of Alma’s face. He kicked at the dirt and tried to go back to sleep. All around him, boys slept utterly at peace, as if they had been bred to lie beneath the trees and never think of danger.
When they were all awake it was nearly dark again. Gabriel and Rei divided tasks and Eddy watched, fascinated. They had obviously done this before, maybe a hundred times. They sent two of the youngest boys as scouts to determine how many men and where they were concentrated. Two others were sent to figure out where the women were being held. All four came back in short order, with the same story.
“They’re in that big building on the far west of the main drag. A school, I think. There are bodies all over town, and there’s a lot of screaming in there.”
Gabriel shot air out between his front teeth and stared at the ground. “They’re breaking them here? So they’re not for the harem. Must be trade.”
Eddy watched him and Rei plan rapidly between the two of them.
“So we come in through the windows?”
“Yeah, like that time in Olathe?”
“Yeah, but this time no flash. We can get the doors open and cut them down quick.”
Rei turned to the younger boys. “Remember, the women will be tied or chained. They can’t run, and they’ll duck down when it starts. You’re watching for movement. Assume all of the men will have guns, but we’ll have more.”
Eddy felt out of place, not sure whether to lead or follow. “So what do I do?”
They turned to him as if they had forgotten he was there.
“Have you ever shot a man before?”
“Yes.”
“As long as you’re prepared to do it again, that’s what you’re here for.”
Show them? Why not show them. It might open the door.
“Wait, I have this.”
He dug in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the claw, its string balled up and tangled to the bail. He let the pendant fall and it swung there like a hanged man. Gabriel’s blue eyes followed it.
“How did you get that?”
“What difference does it make? I got it. I could pound on the door, get them to open up, take them by surprise.”
Rei sized him up, his dark eyes narrowing. “You traded for that.”
Eddy shrugged. “I might have taken it off a dead Paw.”
“But you didn’t.” Gabriel stood with his shoulder lined up with Rei’s. “Because they don’t leave behind their dead. And he only gives those out to men who trade for women. That’s the mark. That’s what it means.”
Shit.
“I was doing it for a good reason. I was getting someone’s little girl back. A baby, not even really talking yet.”
They seemed to shrug as one body.
I don’t have to explain myself to them. Doing what I’m supposed to do.
But he saw their estimation of him drop in that moment. It rippled through the boys and something was gone, whatever charm Alma had placed on his presence on this mish was dimmed to the point that it might as well have never been.
Gabriel eyed him, appraising. “Sure. Sure, you get them to open the door. Get them talking, feeling like you’re a brother. They’ll be open. Guns down.”
Eddy n
odded, thinking with giddy sickness of the rounds and rounds of ammunition at the ready.
Hardly have to stop. Reload and keep going until they’re all gone.
When it was all quiet, they sent Eddy to the door of the large building. There was a single sentry posted, and he was too young to have a beard.
Eddy raised his hand and put the other to his claw. “Hey. Didn’t I meet you in Estiel?”
He started, yanking a gun that had seen better days out of his waistband. “What?”
Eddy stepped a little closer, pulling the claw up off his chest. “When he gave me this. The Lion. I thought I saw you there.”
“I’m from KC. I’ve never been to Estiel. Might go there soon. Who are you?”
“Oh.” Eddy forced a laugh. “I’m from near Estiel. I’m not a Paw, but I heard you guys were here. I wanted to join up and go to Estiel by truck rather than on foot.”
The kid smiled and lowered his ruined gun a little.
Eddy popped his chin, smiling a little. “Who’s your commander?”
He cocked his head.
That isn’t the word. Damn it.
“I’m with Zander and Harrin. And Carl is leader.”
Always four.
“Can I go in and see them? I want to make sure they don’t mind taking me along.”
Don’t move. Don’t cross your arms. Look sure.
Eddy relaxed and avoided the urge to look around. He managed a small laugh before popping his chin at the guard.
“What’s your name?” Eddy’s voice was easy, untroubled.
“Jeff.”
“Jeff. I know they’re probably asleep. My name’s Eddy.” Another step forward. “I won’t even wake them. I’ll get some sleep, too, and we can go in the morning.”
The kid looked over his shoulder at the door. He shrugged a little and turned back, stuffing his gun back into his pants. “Sure, what the hell.”
Eddy managed a smile, dropping his claw back down and half expecting his heart to bounce it away again.
Jeff disappeared into the doorway, shoulder first. He put his head back out and waved for Eddy to follow.
Eddy walked in, seeing humps of people in the half-light of a single hanging lantern. The room stank of every fluid discharged by the body. He put the back of his hand to his mouth.
Jeff pointed. “That’s Carl over there. Wake him if you want to. I’m going back out to guard.” He nodded to Eddy before turning around again.
Eddy heard the muffled sound of Jeff being knocked out and dragged away, but no one stirred. He stepped in the direction of where Jeff had pointed, still barely seeing anything.
His foot crushed something soft and he stepped back quickly, squinting down. It was the hand of a young girl who lay splayed out on the floor, blinking at the ceiling. She was naked. She made no sound at all.
Eddy stared down at her, the yellow lantern a slick of shine in her wide eyes. She was terribly thin, a plate of bones between her withered breasts and a deep V where her belly should be. Her hair was shaved.
As his eyes adjusted, he took in the room around him. There were more women than he had thought at first, he saw. Once he knew that their heads were shaved he could make them out, a company of skeletons sleeping with their arms crossed like bats. They all looked near death. Two men slept fairly near to one another, each with a woman or girl beneath their heads, meager pillows.
I could cut their throats now, in the quiet. Warm the girls in the spill.
But something in him wanted to see their terror when they awoke to the sound of shooting, to see the world taken from them in an instant.
He made his way to the back door and tapped three times. The signal.
They came in, bursting through with the starlight, at front and back.
Eddy saw one of the men scramble to his feet, the weight of his gun pulling his untied trousers down as he struggled to stand. Eddy opened his mouth to say something, some sardonic dismissal to be the last words in his enemy’s ears. But he never got it out.
Gabriel and Rei and their complement of boys opened fire, their guns spraying bright flash and thunder like Eddy had never seen before. He threw himself to the ground, hands over his ears. The girl nearest him was screaming, her mouth wide open, but he could hear nothing at all.
Wetness splashed on the back of his neck and he glanced, up, catching the blood in his mouth. The gunfire had cut the first man in half and most of what was in him spilled across the floor. The second man had barely made it onto his knees before gunfire caught him in the neck and face and he fell forward across the girl beneath him.
Most of the women had been tied or chained, as Gabriel had guessed. Only two had even half risen. One of them was bleeding fast from her neck; she wouldn’t make it. The other looked unhurt, but her eyes were shiny like peeled eggs.
They got the boys to quit firing, with some difficulty. The guns sprayed bullets as easily as dry dandelion fluff when blown firmly. They obviously enjoyed the feeling. Holes dotted the walls all around them, from knee level to above Eddy’s head.
Eddy’s hands shook and his veins were full of ice. He had a hard time gaining his feet. His mouth was dry as cotton and he couldn’t hear at all.
He stared around him at the utter carnage. The boys had been directed to free the women, but most of them sat unmoved, not seeing the change.
Rei lit more lanterns and his black hair shone as he lifted one high, counting.
“Eight.” He looked over to Gabriel. “Eight who will make it. None look to be pregnant.”
Gabriel nodded, kneeling down to speak to one of the women. “Sister, are you okay?”
She flinched away from him. Eddy couldn’t guess her age but saw the way the loose skin in her face bunched when she grimaced. Older than him.
No one spoke. The smell of blood held sway over all.
Eddy went back and found the woman he had stepped on when he came in. She lay exactly as she had, her blue-white skin spattered with black blood. He sat down beside her head, trying to think of what to say.
You’re safe now.
But she isn’t.
She can come with us. With them. That will be better.
It will.
The boys found blankets and offered up their coats. One by one, most of the women were coaxed into sitting up and covering themselves. Gabriel offered food and they jumped at it. When he saw this, he ordered a cooking fire built and sent two boys out to hunt.
Eddy laid a wool blanket across the woman spread out on the floor. He stared into the hollow of her collarbone. She didn’t take food or water. She wouldn’t look at anyone or answer questions.
When they had all eaten what they could and the boys had dragged the dead men out, Gabriel took Rei and the boys outside, leaving only Eddy with the women. Some of them had gone to sleep. Three sat grouped together, talking low and quiet.
Eddy lay with his face beside the woman on the floor, his body away from hers as if they had placed beds head-to-head. He crossed his arms across his chest. He was still shaking.
He spoke to her in a low voice, not sure why he was doing it.
“I’ve never. I mean, I’ve shot men before. But not like that. I’ve never seen guns like that. I can’t. I mean, how can you walk around with something like that? I can’t even hear. I can still see the flash.”
The girl flexed her jaw. Eddy could hear the creak of muscle over the sound of grinding teeth.
“I thought we would come here and save you from the Paws of the Lion. But I just didn’t expect. Every time I think I’ve seen the worst thing, I see something else.”
The floor. The floor that breathed. Lying on the floor bleeding my first and going with it, trying to go with it.
He tried to slow his breathing, to place his thoughts in order.
The chair.
This girl was just in the chair.
Eddy sat up and unbuttoned his shirt. He came around to face her, lining himself up to meet her eyes as they stared straigh
t up.
“I’m not one of them,” Etta said. “See that?” Etta was still bound, but the truth was clear.
The terror was something that Eddy had felt. Etta felt light and free of it.
The girl on the floor cried without sound, tears sliding into her ears.
“I’m not one of them.”
She sat down beside her and waited until the girl’s sobs finally made sound.
Later, nearly dawn.
“What’s your name?” The girl spoke without being spoken to, spooking Etta a little.
“Etta. I’m from a place far away from here. What’s yours?”
The girl shrugged. “Girl. None of us have names.”
“What?”
“Girl. Birthmark girl. Green-eyed girl. Black girl. Things. Not names.”
“What did they call you?”
Another shrug like a pile of sticks being dropped in a bag. “Nothing. Girl.”
“Are you from here? From Jamestown?”
Her chin like a blade, chopping up and down as she nodded. “Born here. Property of Archer, like everyone else. And then property of the Lion. And now. Who knows?”
These were not questions.
“You’re not property. Not at all. If you go back to Ommun with these boys, you’ll be . . .”
The word is free, but I don’t know.
“You’ll be alright. Not property.”
The girl did not look at her, but she did not look as though she believed.
“Do you want a name?”
Another shrug. “You can call me anything.”
“No, I mean . . .”
There’s nothing I can give her that’s for her. It would be for me, just to feel better.
They sat in silence a long time.
“You won’t be hungry. They have plenty to eat there. And a safe place to sleep. Beds with quilts.” Everything she offered sounded ridiculous.
The girl didn’t nod. She looked at nothing.
“You don’t have to go with them. You could go out on your own.”
Sit right here and die, more like.
Etta pictured her, sitting in this spot, leaves blowing through the open door and into her unflinching face. The moment she died would go unmarked.
