interview, his pulse began to quicken and he waited to hear Dr. Treekenstein describe his invention. He knew that his old uncles wisdom would keep him in check, if he kept it at the forefront of his mind always.
The interview began with Bubbles asking Dr. Treekenstein about simple intercranial fusion devices. Bubbles said that most people knew all of what Dr. Treekenstein was about to say, a third grader in modern schools would know many of the basic facts that Treekenstein was about to present.
She said "As we all know, that famous ancient philosopher, Begel, said that you must begin at the beginning" as she looked at the audience.
Dr. Treekenstein turned to the audience and began. The prisoners remained completely silent as they watched.
"The first step is, of course, to choose the particular book that you wanted to load into your head and to a certain extent this depended on the Intercranial Fusion Device you owned as well as your own abilities. You would not want to, say, buy an Intercranial Fusion Device at your local variety store for your kids to play with and then try and load a book about say, theoretical complex analytical quaternion function analysis in fourteen dimensions and have your twelve year old learn this in three minutes". He paused for a moment and added "Of course you need to attach the electrodes, almost all machines have you attach the electrodes, one to each ear, before you turn the ignition switch.".
Bubbles then asked Treekenstein if there was any danger associated with these kinds of devices.
Treekenstein explained that in his above example, the very worse thing that could happen is that the kid could forget he had the electrodes on, fall asleep at night and get a less than ideal sleep. He went on to explain that if the kid had a million lifetimes to remain plugged in that he would eventually completely understand all of the contents of the book and be able to solve all of the problems at the end of each of its chapters.
The news lady then asked him what the difference was between an intercranial fusion device and the intercranial fusion injector that he was building.
"Well Bubbles..." Dr Treekenstein paused for a moment to look at the audience. They began to cheer once again but Treekenstein began to speak and they all went quiet. "I guess that most of you know that our ancients would ride around on the backs of animals. As you all probably know, this type on animal is what we now know as the duck billed platypus.". He paused once again for affect and looked around at the audience.
The hardened criminals all stared back as Treekenstein appeared to be looking at each and every one of them as he spoke. No one made a sound.
Treekenstein then went on and said "Now, compare the likely speed of the now extinct duck billed platypus of around sixty miles per hour and compare that to the maximum speed, as well as the relative comfort, of the latest sport hovercraft, which is twenty nine thousand four hundred and fifty three point two four miles per hour.".
Oohs and aahhs could be heard radiating from the surrounding loudspeakers inside the prison walls and from the live studio audience.
Bubbles then asked what other differences there were between the intercranial fusion device and the intercranial fusion injector.
Treekenstein explained that in a conventional intercranial fusion device there were only two electrodes that connected to the earlobes of each ear. "In the intercranial fusion injector, probes have to be placed inside all of the body cavities before the device was turned on.". He then explained that one could absorb a great deal more information much faster than in the older intercranial fusion devices, which had been around for a long time.
Little Jimmy listened closely and remained silent with the other four hundred and fifty fellow prisoners.
Treekenstein then explained that he would maybe require a special operation so that some of his body cavities could accept the advanced probes. The prisoners all gasped but then remained in silence.
Bubbles asked him what kind of operations this would required. He replied "I don't know Bubbles, maybe just one, maybe several and maybe none.". She then asked him more details about the operation. Treekenstein replied "Bubbles, I don't think that this kind of discussion is appropriate for an audience of the early science show and some of the younger folks that may be watching.".
Bubbles Bubblicious then asked "Dr. Treekenstein, are there any dangers associated with the use of the new Intercranial Fusion Injector?" Treekenstein explained "The amount of information that could be fused into one's cranium was very large and that there were dangers involved that further testing would make more quantifiable.".
"Of course Dr. Treekenstein" she replied. "Dr. Treekenstein, we have a very special surprise for you this evening. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a round of applause for Johnny and Sue.".
The holographic image spun around to show two young children, each struggling to pull little wagons behind them as they made their way across the stage. One wagon carried a sackful of money and the other carried bits of scrap wood.
They parked their wagons in front of Bubbles' desk and one of the stage hands helped them climb up onto the chairs at the table to sit with Dr. Treekenstein and Bubbles. Bubbles then said that the little girl had something important to say to Dr. Treekenstein.
The little girl in the cute little red dress and white ribbons in her hair began to speak. "Dr Treekenstein, it is truly an honor to meet you". Treekenstein replied "Thank you very much young lady.".
The little girl began to speak again "Dr. Treekenstein, our school and all the children in all the schools in all the regions of all the world conducted a charity drive for you so that you can save the planet from extinction.". She paused for a moment. " I am here to present you this sack of money.".
The live studio audience cheered. The prisoners in the maximum security prison cheered. Little Jimmy looked around and there was not a prisoner there that was not wiping a tear from his eye. His seething hatred for Dr. Treekenstein grew.
It was then the little boys turn to speak. "Dr. Treekenstein. We took all the wood from all of our toys, our dressers and our beds and brought it in for you so that you could use the wood to nail the trees back together after you learn all those books in your intercranial fusion injector.".
Once again, the live studio audience cheered. The prisoners in the maximum security prison cheered. Again, Little Jimmy looked around and there was not a prisoner there that was not wiping a tear from his eye.
Treekenstein then spoke "Thank you Johnny and Sue. I only wish that every young child and every adult carried the wisdom that you have accumulated in your short time on this earth.".
The studio audience cheered and stood up to give the children and Dr Treekenstein another round of applause. All of the prisoners stood up around Little Jimmy, Little Jimmy then stood up. He looked around and saw that there was not a dry eye in the audience of worlds most hardened criminals sentenced to a lifetime of maximum, maximum security imprisonment. Four hundred and fifty prisoners were wiping tears from their eyes.
Little Jimmy trembled, his pulse quickened and his muscles tightened to control his now even greater hatred for Dr. Treekenstein.
"Thank you very much Dr. Treekenstein. And thank you very much Johnny and Sue. Its time for a commercial break and we hope that you stick around for our next segment of the program Dr. Treekenstein."
The commercial break ended, Bubbles' desk spun once again so that she was facing the audience.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Dr. Treekenstein has agreed to stick around for our next segment.". The studio audience clapped and cheered. "In our next segment I would like to introduce Dr. Know and Little Jimmy's ex wife's best friend to join Dr. Treekenstein and myself for a critical and unbiased discussion on the nature of evil, and in particular, the worlds most dangerous and dastardly criminal that history has ever known, Little Jimmy.".
The prisoners cheered and some gave Little Jimmy a pat on the back to congratulate him.
Little Jimmy struggled to control himself. He looked around and could see that the guards had still not yet come back in. He
was on his own and could soon be in a fight with four hundred and fifty of the worlds most dangerous criminals.
Bubbles Bubblicious announced a commercial break.
6. Little Jimmy's Ex Wife's Best Friend
"Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen to our very special show tonight.".
The studio audience cheered. The prisoners cheered.
The holographic generator set display spun around again to show Dr. Know followed by Little Jimmy's ex wife's best friend as they entered the stage to sit down with Bubbles Bubblicious and Dr. Treekenstein for another informative interview, this one based on the very nature of good and evil itself.
The display spun around once more as they sat down at the table with Bubbles and Dr. Treekenstein to face the people and be introduced to the live studio audience.
"Dr. Know, is it true that Little Jimmy has received the longest sentence ever handed down by the courts?" Bubbles asked. "It certainly is Bubbles and with good reason." replied Dr. Know.
Bubbles Replied "Is it true that Little Jimmy insulted Dr. Treekenstein, Dr. Know" Dr. Know replied "Also true.". Bubbles then asked "What did he say Dr. Know?" Dr. Know said that the details of exactly what Little Jimmy had said were irrelevant, should never be repeated, and that the courts had handed down what he believed to be a fair sentence.
The prisoners began to whisper among themselves
Dr. Treekenstein Page 6
