Leaving work was a good idea, she had so much else to concentrate on in the coming weeks. The telephone rang, breaking into her thoughts. She was tempted to ignore it but then she felt guilty for no reason, and picked up the receiver.
“Hey, Lacey, thought you were out. I was just going to try your mobile. What are you up to this weekend?” Robert sounded happy that he’d caught his sister at home.
“Hi, Rob, I’m sort of free at the weekend, why?” She wasn’t pushed about telling him what plans she may have yet.
“Well, I want to make it up to you. I know you weren’t expecting Aoife the other night, but she and I had worked non-stop so I kind of owed her a meal. What about we meet at the Sea Horse on Saturday and we can talk properly? That sound alright for you?”
She sensed he was a little tense as he waited for her answer.
“Yeah sure, why not? What time are you thinking of?”
“Oh, six-thirtyish will be grand. I may ask the others, too, okay? It’d be good to all get together.”
Lacey hesitated. Was he afraid to meet her on his own? Was she that much of an embarrassment to him? Her silence sparked a curiosity in her brother.
“Is there a problem?” Robert enquired cautiously.
“No, no, not at all. Okay, see you on Saturday evening.”
Damn it, Lacey thought, as she cut off the call. She hadn’t planned on that. Meeting her family did not appear on her agenda, but she guessed it only natural that the others would still be in touch with each other. What was she thinking? Of course they would be; she was the outsider, after all. These days she didn’t see herself as part of that family any more. Her energies were focussed elsewhere and she planned to keep it that way. She hadn’t stopped loving them, but she’d felt a distance develop and somehow it protected her.
Her life now ran on a different path to theirs. They were in mourning for their mother; she was living in limbo until she met her real mum. Dealing with her feelings about Lillian stayed very much in the back seat. Lacey was too preoccupied with what her future held than grieving for her past. This was all so damn exhausting. Maybe she could find an excuse to opt out of Saturday night? Hell, she could do what she wanted. She would leave it for now and see how she felt on the day.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“This is so bloody inconvenient,” Willow grumbled as she looked at the clock. Just after six and she should be heading to the restaurant for dinner. As usual, Derek had abandoned her for some silly club meeting. It was amazing how these events always cropped up on an evening when she needed his company. He had seemed surprised with her complaints about him not going. He had even challenged her about it, asking since when she needed him to go visit her brother and sisters. He had been more argumentative lately, she’d noticed.
Willow had been looking forward to relaxing with a few drinks this evening, but now she would have to drive.
“Why not get Lacey to collect you? She is passing by, after all,” Derek had questioned his wife, still curious why Willow was being so insistent on his presence at the meal.
“Willow. I said, ask Lacey.”
“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll get a taxi. She might be walking or...or maybe she’s busy.”
“Well, you won’t know unless you ring her and find out. Do you want me to ask her?” Derek pulled his mobile phone out of his shirt pocket and began flicking through its menu.
“Stop, Derek!” she snapped impatiently. “Just leave it, will you, for God’s sake!” He stepped back from the raised voice of his wife. “Go to your meeting, I’ll sort myself,” she said, in a more gentle tone.
She couldn’t admit to him that she had not seen her little sister in weeks. In fact, she hadn’t even given Lacey any thought lately. She had meant to phone her, of course, but life seemed to get in the way.
“Fine, I’ll drop you to the Sea Horse and maybe one of the others can give you a lift home.” He ran his hand through his hair, looking weary from the hostile exchange.
Willow’s mood was dour. Derek knew how to upset her. Obviously, he wasn’t happy at the expense of getting a taxi; miserable sod. He really was so insensitive to her needs. Thinking of needs, she really could do with a quick gulp of vodka.
Rummaging in her deep handbag, she searched for the small bottle filled with her favourite tipple, the mixer already added. It was her emergency bottle, her safety net to relax her. Small enough to fit discreetly into her bag, the bottle of clear liquid would pass for water if she were ever challenged. Derek would never know.
* * *
Robert arrived at the restaurant by six-fifteen. He wanted to be there to greet his sisters. His tall, broad frame and melting chocolate eyes drew admirable glances from the women diners. The male diners ignored him, threatened by his good looks and strong presence. He was wearing his jeans and checked shirt. He liked to be smart but casual when out of the office.
He wasn’t sure if the others had met up recently and didn’t know exactly how relations lay between them. Lacey’s attitude on the phone had left him questioning.
Sally arrived next and hugged her brother; Lacey joined them minutes later. She refrained from hugging and just sat down beside Sally, with Robert on her other side.
“Anyone heard from Willow and Derek?” Sally asked, as the waiter brought a jug of iced water to the table.
“Derek can’t make it. He’s got some meeting. Pity, I could do with another man to help me with three women. Anyway, he’s dropping Willow off. I told him we might meet for a few drinks after our meal and his meeting.” Robert’s gaze wandered around the room. The place was not filling up like before, during the boom years.
“So, Sally, what have you been up to? Are you settled back home?” Lacey smiled at her sister. The older woman’s understated flair made simple look elegant without effort. Her pale blue vintage-style top beautifully complimented her black trousers.
“Not much, it’s strange living back there without Mum,” her voice trailed off, a slight blush staining her cheeks as she mentioned her mother.
“Look, Sal, it’s okay, she is your mother. I just think of her as Lillian so don’t be embarrassed, please.” Lacey laid a reassuring hand on Sally’s arm.
“Of course, I’m being silly. Anyway, how are you? That’s what is more important.”
“Oh, I’ve been busy. I’ve taken unpaid leave from work and I’ve actually thought about resigning. I’m sure Rob’s told you.”
“No, he hasn’t.” Sally glanced sharply towards their brother but he was engrossed in what the menu offered for the evening.
“What am I being accused of now?” he replied, happy to have selected his meal.
“I was just telling Sally I’m off work. I thought you’d have told her.” Lacey glared at Robert, his lazy casualness rankling her. He didn’t seem to notice; his mind was clearly elsewhere.
“Sure, I’ve not seen Sal in ages,” he replied without thinking, while looking at his watch.
“I thought you had both met recently. My mistake.” Lacey’s annoyance at the white lie was bubbling beneath her smile. The sense of disappointment in her brother and his indifference to see her hurting mingled within her, pushing Lacey’s patience to the limit.
“Where the hell is Willow?” He was looking towards the door. He was hungry and didn’t want to delay any longer.
“Let’s order and she can look after herself when she arrives,” Sally said, and signalled for the waiter. They chose lamb, fish, and a Thai chicken dish for their mains.
With their orders taken, the three siblings chatted about the politics of the day. People expected the new Government to make great changes to help them out of the dreadful recession that had gripped the country. Robert admitted business had been affected overseas, with investors being slower to think about Irish businesses as a good place to invest.
As they tucked into their starters, their appetites matched the lively conversation. It was as though they had made an unwritten agreement to talk about anythin
g but family matters. But it was surprisingly pleasant. Lacey felt her irritation towards the others fade; it felt good to be with them again.
The restaurant was relatively quiet for a Saturday evening, with only a dozen other tables occupied. It was another sign of the recession. People were staying in and spending their money on the essentials.
It wasn’t until they were waiting for their main courses that Willow made her appearance. She looked flushed and breathless, and Robert stood up to hold back the chair for her. Lillian had always insisted on her children having impeccable manners.
“Are you okay, Willow? Has something happened?” Sally’s voice was full of concern.
“Sorry I’m late. Are you eating?” She looked around the table, not acknowledging anyone.
“Finished our starters. We’re waiting on the main course. One sec and I’ll get a waiter to take your order.” Rob waved his hand and the waiter arrived.
Willow ordered a main course only, so not to delay the others. By the time the food arrived, she seemed more relaxed and settled, although she still hadn’t explained her reason for being so late.
“Is it safe to ask what the delay was?” Sally ventured, between mouthfuls of fresh lemon sole.
“Don’t ask! We got a flat tyre driving over here and Derek got grease on his shirt, so we had to return home so he could change. It was a nightmare.” Willow sounded a little flustered again.
“So, Lacey, what have you being doing since we met last?” Willow asked.
“Trying to get my life back to normal, I suppose,” she replied, taking a sip of water. She wasn’t drinking tonight. She planned on keeping a clear head in case she missed any detail that might pass between the others. Dear God, she was being paranoid now, she realised, as she replaced the glass on the table.
“Normal. I know what you mean. It’s been so hard since Mum died. I’ve been all over the place emotionally. I miss her so much. Each day brings something different, another event that Mum and I would have shared. It’s been so difficult. Poor Mum! I really miss her warmth and our chats,” sighing, Willow put her cutlery down and a gloomy silence descended around them.
“Pour me another glass of red wine will you, Rob, please? I’m still trying to get over the journey here.”
Willow was already on her second glass of wine and seemed to have no intention in slowing down. “Rob, what’s work like? Are you busy, or have things gone slow a bit? Derek seems to be flat out these times.” Willow spoke between mouthfuls while still eating, as though she didn’t want any lulls in the conversation.
“It’s picking up a bit. I was blessed to have Aoife help me get back into my stride since Mum died,” her brother replied.
“She really is a lovely girl, Robert. How long have you two been dating now?” Sally spoke. Her soft voice suited her, Lacey thought.
“Oh, eighteen months or so. She’s so easy to get on with, isn’t she, Lacey?”
Lacey realised they were all looking at her.
“How would Lacey know? When did you meet her?” Willow directed the question at her, curiosity rising.
“I met her a few days ago with Robert. We had a lovely evening. Why ask such a question?” Lacey frowned at her oldest sister. She didn’t like the dismissive way she was being spoken to by Willow.
“Well, after all the hullabaloo with Mum’s death, you were so shocked and seemingly upset, I didn’t think you’d be out socialising so soon, that’s all.” The older woman’s sarcasm was notable in her voice.
Lacey looked at Willow in disbelief. Was this woman for real? “Seemingly upset? What are you on about? My life has come crashing down around my ears and you think I’m making it up? You have no idea what it’s been like for me for the past few weeks. Lillian never loved me, and she admitted it. She made it clear she wished I had never existed.” Lacey’s voice rose with each breath.
“Can you honestly blame her?” The two women glared icily at each other, youngest and eldest. “C’mon, Lacey, that secret must have weighed heavily on her shoulders all that time. I’m sure it contributed to her ill health at the end.” Willow sniffed a little and picked up her napkin.
“Are you suggesting that I’m the cause of her dying? I don’t believe this!” Lacey jumped to her feet, knocking over her chair. “How dare you! To think I looked up to you. My big sister! To think I wanted to be like you when I grew up. Well, I’m glad I’m not like you. You’re just another Lillian, a selfish, cold cow.” As she leaned over and pointed accusingly at her sister, she knocked over a wine glass.
“Oh, sit down and stop the dramatics,” Willow hissed. “People are looking. Sally, grab that waiter’s eye and get another bottle of red, will you?”
“You should apologise first, I think, before you drink any more.” Sally glared at Willow, not hiding her disgust at her elder sister’s behaviour.
“What is this, let’s-all-love-Lacey-night? For goodness sake, what I said is true! Mum kept Dad’s dirty little secret for him and look where it got her – an early grave.” Willow pointed towards Lacey as she said the stinging words.
Lacey was shaking with rage. She had reached her limit and, without thinking, she leaned over and slapped Willow across her cheek. Diners nearby gasped at the stinging sound.
“How dare you call me a dirty secret, you selfish bitch!”
“Can’t take the truth, can you?” Willow’s face was reddening where Lacey had slapped her.
“Truth? What about Dad? He had an early grave, too.” Lacey’s throat tightened as she spat out each word.
“He got his just desserts. But my mum was innocent remember. MY mum, not yours, MINE!” Willow spluttered back, her hand held to her cheek.
Robert stood up before any more blows could be exchanged, and firmly gestured towards the exit at Lacey. “There’s no need to hit anyone. Can’t you see it’s the drink talking? For goodness sake, Lacey, I thought you would have more restraint.”
Lacey looked at him with incredulity. He was taking Willow’s side in this? Her brother’s actions just heaped insult upon insult. Hot tears stung her eyes, almost blinding her as she stumbled her way through the dining room, bumping into chairs as she headed outside.
This was a dream. A nightmare! It had to be. Did she really slap her sister in public? Yes, and she had so deserved it. Had Lacey over-reacted? No, she had been perfectly in the right.
Her face was wet, her eyes stung, and her chest ached. Lacey hailed a taxi to take her back to her apartment. Her legs were weak and shaking, she couldn’t take a step if she wanted. Slamming the taxi door, she heard her name being called but she did not look back. She needed to get home, to get away from here, to get away from the Taylors.
“Lacey! Lacey. Wait, please!”
* * *
Sally saw the taxi take off as she rushed outside to check on her little sister. She was too late. The car was gone, and she was left standing outside the restaurant, dazed and shocked by what she had just witnessed.
She had never seen Lacey so angry; would never have believed that she would slap anyone. But she had certainly been provoked.
Sally could kill Willow. This was more than drink talking, no matter what Rob wanted to believe. Willow had been totally out of order. Sally turned to go back in, her body still shaking with emotion.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
She stood in the shower, water splashing down around her shoulders, tears mingling with the warm spray. She felt dirty, unloved, and stained. The anger of last night spilled over to her father and birth mother. It was because of their stupid, stupid affair that she was in this God-awful mess.
That’s what people saw her as, Joe Taylor’s dirty secret; she would always walk with that shadow over her. Why had it happened to her? No matter how many showers she took, she would feel the scar of his affair on her. Had her father only loved her because Lillian didn’t? Did he see her as an issue to be dealt with, rather than a daughter he was proud of? God, where would all this mess lead? Lacey was at an all-
time low; motivation and hope seeped out of her.
Her fury towards Willow had not dimmed. Her sister’s behaviour at the restaurant had been unforgivable. How could Robert have stuck up for her? Using her drinking as an excuse was not good enough. The others were mourning their mother, too, but they didn’t behave outrageously like her.
Lacey dried herself off then paced the apartment in her dressing gown, searching for reasons that would make sense of it all. It was all too obvious that Robert was on Willow’s side. Indicating to her to leave had been the last crushing blow for Lacey. Well, her brother could go jump off a cliff! He was a wimp; a real Mummy’s boy. Instead of telling Willow to sober up and apologise, he had planted the blame on Lacey’s shoulders. Even if he was afraid of Willow, he could have stayed silent. Well, hell would freeze over before she would reach out to either him or Willow for advice or comfort!
Gathering up her clothes that lay where she had discarded them on the floor last night, she threw them into the wash basket and sighed as she looked about her. What now? Mr. Sherman had been forced to cancel their planned meeting the next day, as he had been called into court unexpectedly for a case.
She went out to her balcony. This was her space; her place to clear the troubled mind she was living with. The sounds of the city calmed her, reminding there was a world of possibilities still to be discovered.
She checked the two flower boxes and inhaled the scent of the colourful sweet peas growing along the trellis supporting the blooms. The sheets of rattan against the balcony railings were in need of urgent repair, bringing her dear Milly to mind. It was almost two months since her cat had walked out of her life, and she missed her company. Had she neglected her pet amidst all the upheaval? Is that why she had disappeared? The vet had assured her that cats often wandered off, and some could return days, even weeks, later. But it had been too long now; sadly, there was little hope of Milly returning.
My Husband's Sin Page 9
