by Tessa Teevan
Her eyes light up as if my words cause her to reach a new conclusion. “You were going to tell me, weren’t you? About all of that. That night, after we found the files, you said you had something to tell me. Was this it?”
I’m relieved and overjoyed at her recollection. At least she knows I was planning on opening up to her. I hope that works in my favor. “Yes. Once we were both back at my apartment, I was going to tell you everything I could.”
“Why did you wait so long?” she asks. “Why couldn’t you just be honest with me?”
I sigh. “In my line of work, honesty’s the worst policy. It can get you killed. I had to protect my cover, and I had to keep you safe. I’ll apologize for a lot of things, but I refuse to apologize for that.”
Her eyes narrow. “I’m not asking you to apologize. I’m just asking for the truth.”
I let out a heavy sigh as I run a hand through my hair. I owe her this much. “Jesus…I don’t even know where to start.”
“How about with your real name?”
A small smile plays on my lips. “Brie, I may have lied about some things, but every time you cried out Rafe, you were calling my name. I am Rafe Matthews. That much is true.”
“Then why did he call you Agent Phillips?” she asks with a confused frown.
Just as I’m about to answer, there’s a knock on the door. An older man pokes his head in and smiles wide when he sees Brie sitting up. He pushes the door open and walks inside.
“Ah, I heard the patient was awake! You gave us quite a scare, young lady,” he tells her. “And this one? I thought we were going to have to call security the way he was incessantly asking my nurses about his beloved girlfriend.”
Brie opens her mouth to protest, but no sound comes out. Instead, a tight smile crosses her lips. “He can be quite insufferable, Doctor. You may want to keep security on your speed-dial.”
The doctor lets out a barking laugh, unaware of the tension swirling in the air around us. Ignoring her comment, I stand and move away as he comes around to her side while flipping her chart open.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
Brie flushes then smiles warmly at him. “Alive,” she quips.
He laughs. “That you are, Ms. Latham. But more specifically?”
Her eyes flick to me as she bites her lower lip. “Umm…I feel okay, I guess. Tired, with a bit of a headache. My throat is sore, and my lungs feel as if there’s a heavy weight on them.”
“All of that is to be expected from someone in your…situation. Still, your vitals look good, and if you don’t have any other complaints, I think we can see about getting you discharged. I’m sure you’ll be more comfortable recovering at home.” He turns to me. “That is, of course, if you’ll be there to monitor her. It’s not uncommon for nearly drowning victims to have seizures. I don’t believe she will have one, as she hasn’t at this point, but I’d feel much more comfortable allowing her to go home if she is in your care.”
I nod profusely, silently thanking the man for making this so much easier. If I had to have carried a kicking-and-screaming Brie into my apartment and then tie her to my bed to make sure she didn’t leave, I would have.
“Absolutely, sir. I won’t let her leave my sight for a single minute,” I assure him.
Brie clears her throat, and the doctor looks down at her. Her eyes meet mine. Then she gestures for him to come closer. Once he’s leaned in, she whispers in his ear. He nods then pats her shoulder. Curiosity furls in my belly, low and unsettling as I wonder what she said to him that she couldn’t have said out loud. When he informs us that he’ll be right back, she falls back against her pillow.
As soon as he exits the room, Brie crosses her arms and glares at me. I nearly duck from the daggers she’s shooting.
“You have another thing coming if you think I’m going home with you. Or anywhere with you, for that matter.”
Even though it shouldn’t, her defiance turns me on. My dick strains against my dress pants, and I have to discreetly adjust myself. But I wasn’t so discreet, apparently, because her eyes widen and she shakes her head. I would probably do the same to any other guy in this position. She’s in the damn hospital. For a moment, I hang my head in shame, then shake it off and get back to the matter at hand.
I place my hands on my hips, pushing my suit jacket back, and look down at her. “You heard the doctor. Unless you want to stay here longer, you’re coming home with me. I may have almost failed last night, but I can and I will protect you, Brie. Until Morningstar is found and we figure out what his plans were, I need to keep you close. In return, I’ll give you the answers to all your questions.”
Her eyes light up, and she tries to mask it, but she’s too late. I’ve piqued her interest, so I give her a bit more to make her even more accepting.
“And then we’ll figure this out together. You can be my unofficial assistant in the investigation.”
She laughs. “God, I’m such a fucking idiot. Once again, I’m in a situation where I’m tied to a man with nowhere else to go. I’m a walking, talking cliché. One of these days, they’ll probably make an afternoon Lifetime special about me.”
My eyes narrow. “No, Brie, you’re wrong. You’re not stuck with me. You’ll never be stuck with me.” I’m barely able to spit the word out. “I just want to protect you.”
Her chest deflates as she lets out a heavy sigh. “You know what? I’m too tired to argue about this. I’ll come home with you, Rafe. I’ll stay with you. But you will tell me everything.”
“Everything,” I echo.
A faint smile crosses her lips. I take the opportunity and lean forward, wanting to feel her lips upon mine, but at the last second, she turns her head and my lips make contact with her cheek.
“Rafe, please… Just…just don’t,” she whispers.
I pull back and gaze down at her, acquiescing just this once. She needs time, and she needs answers. I’ll give her both.
“Knock, knock!” s cheery voice calls from the door. Then a young nurse wheels a machine into the room.
Brie’s hand grasps mine. Surprised by the sudden contact, I turn toward her. Her face has gone pale, and her eyes race to meet mine.
“Rafe…there’s something you need to know—” she begins.
“Are you two ready?” the nurse asks, not noticing our locked gazes.
Brie sucks on her bottom lip as I wonder what the hell is going on.
Then, with two words, my whole entire fucking world changes.
“I’m pregnant.”
“I’M PREGNANT.”
The look on Rafe’s face is pure, unadulterated shock and terror. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows hard. I will him to say something, but he remains silent, the air around us swirling with the tension of this unexpected surprise.
I didn’t know for sure—at least, not officially. My subconscious, however, must’ve had some idea, especially after that dream I had. With the whirlwind of waking up and meeting Agent Howard, I didn’t have a chance to discuss it with the nurse before she left. Then, as if my life weren’t in enough of an upheaval, Rafe became Agent Phillips and I nearly forgot my suspicions.
Mother of the year right here.
So, when the doctor entered¸ I had to know. I needed to know.
“Are you serious?” Rafe asks, his eyes wide with disbelief.
I nod. “At least, I think so. I guess we’re about to find out,” I tell him through a watery smile, hoping like hell he doesn’t walk away.
This complicates everything, and there’s still so much we need to discuss. But dammit, he may be the father of my unborn child, and I can’t deny what I feel in my heart for him.
He shocks the hell out of me when a magnificent smile spreads over his face. He leans down and presses a hard kiss to my lips. His hands cup my cheeks as his lips move against mine. The breathtaking sensation warms me all the way to my toes. One simple kiss renews me, and I feel more alive now than I have since I woke up.
All too soon, he pulls back, his smile shining brightly. “I don’t know what to say,” he whispers as he presses his forehead to mine.
“Well, don’t say anything until we know for sure,” I answer.
A slight frown forms on his lips as if he hates the idea. God, what if I’m not?
It doesn’t matter. Moments later, we’re staring at the screen, our hands locked tight as we hear our baby’s heartbeat for the first time. The nurse smiles, telling us that we’re lucky because it can’t always be detected this early. Hot tears spring to my eyes as I thank her. Rafe’s free hand strokes my back. Once the nurse leaves, he places a soft kiss on the top of my head.
“God…I almost lost you both,” he whispers.
I tear my gaze away from the screen to look up at him. His expression is one of anguish, and even though part of me wants to hate him, I can’t. At least, not right now. The last thing I want in this room is a negative vibe, so for now, I’ll put everything aside and squeeze his hand reassuringly.
“Rafe, I’m right here. We’re both okay, and we’re not going anywhere.”
Raw, primal heat flashes in his eyes, giving me a glimpse of the protectiveness he’s probably been combating since we met. He kneels next to me, still holding my hand, and using his other one to tenderly touch my belly.
“I will do anything to protect you. Both of you.”
All the tension from before melts away. He might have lied about many things—the who he is and the way he is—but deep down, I know this man, and I believe I can trust him. It might not be easy, and the road ahead may be rocky, but I trust him with my life.
And with the life of our child.
“Rafe,” I whisper.
“Yeah, baby?” he asks, his voice raw and full of emotion.
“Let’s go home.”
He smiles at the word, and my heart aches. This should be the happiest time of our lives, yet I can’t help but feel that it’s tainted. That, somehow, this bubble we’re in is going to burst as soon as we leave the hospital.
While the nurse gets my discharge papers ready, Rafe and I sit in peaceful quiet. As much as I want to ask Rafe questions, I’m exhausted. The clock on the wall shows that it’s almost ten a.m. I can’t believe that it hasn't even been twenty-four hours since Adrian abducted me. So many questions are twisting and turning around in my head.
Why did he do it?
What were his plans?
And where is he now?
A shiver runs down my spine at the thought, and Rafe must notice, because he trails his fingers down my arm, creating a heated friction.
“Cold?” he asks, finally breaking the silence.
I shake my head. “Just thinking,” I answer simply.
His brow furrows, and a slight frown forms on his lips. “Would it be too much for me to ask you not to do that?” he asks softly.
“I don’t really think you have the right to ask me for anything right now.”
Hurt fills his eyes at my clipped tone. He nods and pushes up from the bed, running a hand through his already tousled hair. I imagine he’s done much of the same over the past twelve hours. My heart tells my brain to back off, to leave him alone.
This is the father of your child, Gabriella, my heart chastises.
Yes, the man you know nothing about, my brain responds.
It’s a classic push-pull, and tug-of-war has always been my least favorite game. It’s exhausting and humiliating, and in the end, there is no winner. Either you’re covered in mud or you can’t feel your arms for days. Instead of playing, I was always content to watch from the sidelines.
Right now, the last thing I want to do is fight with Rafe. The second-to-last thing I want to do is give him false hope that things are okay when they’re anything but. I don't know if anything will ever be okay again. I want to trust him. Nearly every fiber of my being tells me I can trust him. Yet, I can’t just forgive him the second he flashes his devastatingly handsome smile and penetrating blue eyes at me. He can’t just drop this bomb on me and expect me to rationalize it instantly. I need time. And a hell of a lot more answers before things between us can get anywhere near remotely normal again.
When I look back up, he’s leaning against the wall opposite of me. His head is slightly bowed, his eyes closed, and his chest heaving as if he's struggling with each breath. His hands are balled into fists at his side. He appears as if he’s trying to maintain control, and I’m not sure he’s succeeding.
Say something, Brie, I tell myself. My heart aches, yet this time, my brain remains silent.
I release a heavy sigh. Just as I’m about to call out to him, his head ascends and his eyes open, burrowing into my own. Fury swirls in them, an expression he doesn’t even try to mask. I shrink into myself, hating the way he’s looking at me, even though it’s his fault.
I wince at the thought. Because, in reality, all of this is because of what he's done. Rafe Matthews is not the man I thought he was. Even though he’s the only person I have, he’s essentially a stranger. With Adrian possibly still out there, I have nowhere else to go, even if I wanted to get away from Rafe.
And then I see the anguish in his eyes. My fury, much to my chagrin, is waning even though I don’t want it to.
The past twelve hours have been terrible enough for me, but I was unconscious for most of them. He, on the other hand, was forced to wait through them. And now that I’m finally awake, all he wants is to comfort me. To hold me. To have tangible proof that I’m really here and okay. Isn’t that what I wanted from my mother in my dream? I should understand. I should give in, even it’s just for now, for these few hours until we’re home.
I almost laugh at the word.
Home.
There is no home for me. I haven’t experienced home in so long, and while I already planned on moving in with Rafe, it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
Will it ever?
As my hand rests on my belly, I have a flash of fear. What kind of world am I bringing this child into? How can I push Rafe away when all I want to do is pull him close?
Sleep. It’s what I need to clear my head, and then Rafe and I can have a long-overdue conversation. Once the exhaustion and confusion have been eliminated, hopefully, we can move on.
Hopefully, he can repair the damage he’s done to my trust in him.
Hopefully, we can be a family.
God, how can I even want that right now? Want him? I don’t know the answers, but once I do, I hope they don’t push us further apart.
I can’t sit in her hospital room any longer. Not with her little quips. Not with her pained expressions. The confliction on her face was apparent. She wanted to reach out to me. She also wanted to keep me away.
For a few moments, I believed that everything was okay. That she understood I hadn’t tried to hurt her. Hadn’t tried to purposely deceive her. It’s just my job, and I promised I’d tell her everything once we were away from this place and finally alone.
I thought she got it. And then, when she uttered those two words, which were followed by the sound of our unborn child’s heartbeat, I thought we were moving past it already.
What dumbass, wishful thinking that was.
It was stupid, I know. Brie has so many questions, but I need her to ask only one. The one question I can answer openly and honestly without a moment’s hesitation.
But she hasn’t.
I get it. I really do. And Brie wouldn’t be the woman I know she is if she rolled over and accepted me—us—without having reservations. Still, now that we know about the baby, I want to forget all the other bullshit. I never really put any thought into having kids, but the moment Brie uttered those words, my whole world changed. In an instant, I wanted nothing more than to be the father of Brie’s child. To give her a family—one I would love and protect until my dying breath. My primal, protective urges have increased tenfold, and the longer we sit in this hospital, the more on edge I become. There’s so much that needs to be done, so many
stones left to unturned, and it’s killing me not to be out there investigating. Yet I can’t leave her.
I can’t leave them.
So, when she doesn't meet my eyes with hers, anger simmers just below the surface. And when she tells me that she’s thinking, I nearly lose my cool. As I close my eyes, I take deep breaths to calm my nerves. It only serves as a reminder of willing Brie to do the same when I almost fucking lost her.
Correction.
I didn’t almost lose only her. I almost lost my fucking child, too.
The thought is more than I can bear. Suddenly, this room’s too small, and I need a break from her back-and-forth.
I snap my eyes open to find her watching me, her expression unreadable. I can’t fucking take it. So I push off the wall, not even looking at her as I walk towards the door.
“I’m going to see what’s taking them so long.”
Her silence only fuels my fury, and I need to get out of here before I blow up. Just as I reach the door, she stops me.
“Rafe,” she says almost so quietly that I don’t hear her.
But I do. Oh God, I fucking do.
I pause with my hand on the doorknob, waiting for her to continue.
Ask the damn question.
But she doesn’t. Whatever she was going to say is lost in the space between us, and with a heavy sigh, I push the door open and slip into the hall.
A sudden eagerness to get Brie home overwhelms me, and I storm off towards the nurses’ station. I tap my fingers on the counter, impatiently waiting for an update. How fucking long does it take to discharge a patient?
Finally, after far too long, the nurse behind the computer hangs the phone up and smiles at me. “May I help you?” she asks.
“The doctor mentioned releasing my girlfriend. It’s been over an hour and we’re wondering when we can get the hell out of here so she can rest comfortably at home,” I ask, succeeding at playing the part of the impatient, doting boyfriend.
“Which patient?”
“Gabriella Latham. Room four,” I prompt, becoming increasingly impatient by the second.
