by Grace White
Because, in the end, I’d do anything for her.
“You end it. Whatever you think you have with her ends now. You think me a fool?” His tone was severe. “You haven’t even tried to stay away from her, have you? I thought my son was stronger than—”
I raked a hand over my face. “Done.” I didn’t need a father-son lecture. He hadn’t earned that right yet.
Isaac eyed me, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. “Just like that?”
“She’s the most important in the world to me. If walking away is what it takes to keep her safe, then I can do it. But you have to hold up your end of the deal. You have to make it stop. I need to be able to function. I need my life back.”
A life without her. The thought gutted me. Slid into me and twisted like a knife.
For as much as it sucked—and it sucked to epic proportions—I needed Isaac more than I ever thought. I needed him to keep up my end of the deal. But he already knew that, and I had a feeling I’d played straight into his hands. Because from the look on his face, we were both thinking the same thing … he owned me now.
My eyes ran over the thick silver band in my hand. It felt heavy, ancient, and steeped in history I didn’t yet understand, but I felt it calling to me.
“What is it?” I asked as I took in the detail of the ring. A teardrop made of smooth Onyx was embedded into a silver inset. It was hypnotic, and I brought it closer for inspection. Was there something … “Is that …?”
The surface shifted, luminous, like water swirling, and then it settled to reveal an inscription engraved into the stone.
“It is the Essentia Dei. God’s Essence. It is not an easy thing to come by these days.”
I leaned back and twisted the ring in front of my eyes. The inscription vanished. I blinked just to be sure, but it was gone. “What did it say?”
“It says et factum est in voluntate Dei. And it is the will of God. Your connection to Miss Cattiva has clouded your senses. That is why you are confused; why you are struggling to harness the hunter within you. This will help.”
“I’ll feel like myself again?”
Isaac nodded stiffly. “You will. But do not mistake my intentions here. I am not giving you this so you can sneak off with her, son. This is not—”
“I know.”
I knew so much, it hurt.
“Onyx is a powerful stone in its own right, said to protect the wearer against black magic. But blessed by God, the Essentia Dei is something coveted by many and experienced by few. Put it on,” he commanded, and I bristled. I didn’t like the way he ordered me around, yet still, I found myself sliding the band over my middle finger of my left hand.
“I can feel it.” Like a gentle vibration working through my skin and into my body. The anger and irritation ebbed away like a knot coming loose.
“Good. It absorbs your power. Channels it, if you will. You can take it off, but never leave it off for more than a couple of hours until you’ve learned to harness your power.” He paused, a flash of indecision crossing his face. “It would be better to leave it on. Its effect will be quickly reversed.”
It was my turn to nod. If it wasn’t for the sense of calm and peace I felt, I would have laughed him off. Added it to the list of things that couldn’t be possible. But as I was learning more and more, everything I’d ever thought about the world I’d grown up in was wrong.
“Where did you get it from?” It seemed strange that he just had it lying around and hadn’t tried to use it as leverage against me sooner.
“That is none of your concern,” he said sharply. “Now promise me.”
“Promise you?”
“I have held up my end of the bargain, son.”
“Oh, right, hmm, I promise.” Why did this suddenly feel like I was signing away my soul to a man I’d spent half my life hating?
He frowned, just for a second, but it slipped away, giving way to a softer version of Isaac, the version I remembered more as my father and not the demon hunter with no heart.
“I know you think you love her, but love is fickle. You are young. You have so much potential. So much to live for. I give you my word that Miss Cattiva will remain safe so long as you hold up your end of the deal. Can you accept that?”
“And her sisters? Will they be protected?”
Devlin was crazy, I knew that, but if anything happened to her, it would kill Daiya. And Demi seemed like a good person, so I didn’t like the idea of them coming to harm at the hands of my father or any of his brothers-in-arms.
“Kai, I am already offering you more than deemed acceptable.”
“Acceptable by who?”
“I cannot tell you that.”
“Why can’t you tell me? I’m one of you, aren’t I? One of God’s Hunters? Don’t I deserve to know more than the riddles and vague bullshit you keep throwing my way?”
Anger blazed in his eyes, and I prepared myself for him to lose his shit. But he didn’t. Instead, he craned his head from side to side and inhaled a long breath before settling his severe gaze on me. “I am trying to keep you at arm’s length. There are things you need to know, and things you do not. The ring will allow you to live a normal life, son. This is not the life I ever wanted for you.”
It wasn’t the life I wanted for me either, but here we were.
“I need your word that they’ll be safe too,” I said, going back to my original question. “It would kill her if anything happened to them. They are her family; the only family she has.”
He dragged his hand over his face and gripped his jaw. “It is not my decision to make…” I was about to argue my case when a heavy sigh expelled from him. “I’ll try. That’s the best I can do. The one sister is out of control. If she kills, it won’t go unnoticed. I won’t be able to intervene.”
From the closed expression on his face, I knew that was the end of the matter. But I was slowly piecing together the crumbs of information my father did feel I was privy to. Something was happening within the Dei Venatores that my father wanted to protect me from. He was scared of something—or someone—and he was breaking some kind of code by doing this for me. I could see it in his eyes, in the small hesitations he thought I hadn’t noticed. By doing this, my father—a man whose divine obligation was to hunt and kill Lilituria—was protecting me and, in turn, protecting Daiya.
I just didn’t know what it meant for us yet.
DAIYA
“It’ll be fine,” Poppy tried to reassure me as we reached the doors. “At least you didn’t find the guy you’re crazy about in bed with another, older hotter girl. Bitch.” She clapped her hand over her mouth and shot me an apologetic glance, lowering her voice. “I’m sorry. I know she’s your sister; it’s just every time I think about her perfect body over his, I want to punch the shit out of something.”
“She is a bitch. You’re good,” I said without hesitation. Devlin had avoided me all day yesterday, but she wasn’t the reason I was dreading school. I couldn’t tell Poppy that, though. So I deflected. “Wait, you’re admitting it now?”
“Admitting what?” Her eyes bugged behind her thick rimmed glasses.
“That you’re crazy about Laker?”
She shrugged like it was no big deal. “I hate him most of the time, but who am I kidding?”
“I’m sorry, Poppy. I really am.”
“Meh. It is what it is. One day, he’ll wake up and smell the coffee, and it’ll be too late.” Her fake smile slipped, and she groaned. “Two o’clock. Ex alert.”
I closed my eyes and sucked in a sharp breath. As I exhaled, I turned my head slightly and opened them. Kai was across the lawn talking to Laker and some of the other guys from the team. He looked around as he felt my stare.
“Crap, he’s looking over here.”
Poppy’s words barely penetrated the haze around me. I half expected him to sneer or glower in my direction, but he held my gaze for all of a second before he looked away, doing none of those things.
“Okay, that was
… weird.” Poppy stole the words right out of my mouth.
“Come on. We’ll be late for class,” I said, not wanting to get into a dissection of Kai’s behavior in earshot of half our school. But it didn’t stop me from risking one more glance in his direction before we entered the building. Kai laughed at something someone in the group said, his head tipped back and shoulders shrugging. I hadn’t seen him laugh in what felt like forever. It made my heart ache.
“Coming?” My best friend’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I followed her inside with only one thought on my mind.
What had happened to Kai?
And even more concerning, did I want to know?
Morning classes passed by in a blur. I couldn’t get the image of Kai out of my head. He’d looked … he’d looked happy. I mean I was pleased. Seeing him full of anger and darkness made me feel helpless, but what had changed?
“So we’re still on for Saturday, right?” Poppy eyed me carefully, sliding her tray on the table and taking the seat across from me.
“Yeah, I said we were.” Once I realized she wasn’t going to let me get out of going to the winter formal, I just went along with it. It was the least I could do, and besides, I needed to keep myself busy. My conversation with Devlin and then Demi the day before had left me more confused than ever.
“Okay, good.” She fingered a fry and popped it into her mouth. I could feel the heat of her stare, and I arched my eyebrow at her. “Go on.”
She gulped and flashed me a smile. “Go on?”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t play dumb. Just say whatever it is you’re thinking.”
“He seems …” Poppy hesitated. She never hesitated, and I braced myself. “Crap, I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but it’s like the huge stick up Stanton’s butt has been unplugged. He seems … he seems happy, Daiya.”
She wasn’t wrong. And she wasn’t the only one saying it. I’d heard a couple of girls in English talking about Kai’s latest mood swing.
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“So you’re not the reason?”
Me? I gaped at her. “Why would you think I was the reason?”
“Well, he seemed so miserable, and you couldn’t walk into a room without his eyes following you, but it’s like, I don’t know …” Her voice trailed off, and I silently prayed she didn’t say the words.
He was acting like he was before when we were still together. But we weren’t together. We weren’t anything anymore.
Were we?
I still felt it—the pull, the invisible thread tugging between us. But the dreams had stopped, and it was like the more time that passed, the more the connection dulled.
Poppy glanced over at where Kai sat with Laker and their friends and then turned back to me. “It’s really not you? I heard him laugh in chem. I swear you could have heard a pin drop.”
I shook my head, feeling a lump form in my throat.
“At least I won’t have to share you Saturday then.” Her attempt at a smile was lost on me. I couldn’t stop watching him. Kai’s whole demeanor radiated warmth from the way he joked around with Laker and the other guys to how he helped Lacey with her tray. It was the old Kai.
My Kai.
Except he wasn’t my Kai anymore. If he still felt the pull, he didn’t show it. If he sensed my demon, he didn’t respond. It was almost as if I didn’t exist.
As if I had never existed.
The thought took my breath away. Isaac had to have done something to him. Who else could it have been? He had warned me to stay away, to leave town, and I’d defied him. Was this payback? I knew he didn’t want us to be together—he’d made that perfectly clear—but this was cruel.
It was the ultimate price to pay.
“I guess we should head back inside. I have a test next. Kill me now.” Poppy groaned. Grabbing her bag, she stood and collected her tray, and I followed half-listening to her make plans for the dance. My mind was too busy, too full of Kai and what had happened.
I didn’t see him before it was too late. My tray collided with his solid chest, sending the contents spilling over the sides. “Crap,” I muttered, grabbing an apple core about to dive overboard.
“Here.” He bent down and scooped up the empty fry box and juice carton, plopping them back onto the tray.
“Hmm, thanks,” I said unsure of where to look. But his intent gaze pulled me, holding me captive.
What was happening?
We stood awkwardly until someone cleared their throat next to me. Poppy. Damn her. But it was enough to break our connection. Kai gave me a tight smile and a small nod before moving around me.
Poppy grabbed my arm and pulled me in close, my eyes following Kai as he made his way toward the school gym. “What the hell was that?” she hissed.
I had nothing.
But Poppy was right—what the hell was that?
Before I could get the key in the lock, the door swung open. “Don’t mind me. I’m just about to head out.” Devlin brushed past me, but I grabbed her wrist. “We need to talk.”
She glanced down at where I was holding her arm. “Like I said, places to be.”
“Devlin,” I growled. She’d avoided me yesterday, but we were doing this.
She jerked out of my hold and stepped back into the hallway, her irritation evident. “Fine.”
I moved into the house, closing the door behind me. “Why?” The question punctuated the air.
“Why not?”
“You could have hurt him. He goes to my school, Devlin. You can’t do things like that. It’s too close to home; it’s too dangerous.”
“Don’t make it sound like you’re concerned about me when we both know that’s not true.”
My eyes went wide. “What did I ever do to you?”
My sister looked at me like I was a stranger. Did she really hate me that much? I didn’t ask for this—I didn’t ask for any of it.
“My whole life has been about you. Protect Daiya from the truth. Move to another town to keep Daiya safe. I am so sick of living in your shadow.”
I stared at her—my blood, my sister. “That isn’t fair. I’m not like you; I can’t just hop from bed to bed with a different guy every other night. That’s not who I am.”
A bitter laugh escaped her lips. “It might not be who you are, but it’s what you are. Sooner or later, you’ll have to feed, Daiya, but until you pull up your big girl panties and get it done, I figure I may as well have some fun.”
It was a lost cause. Devlin was selfish, and nothing would change that. I realized that now. “Stay away from my friends.”
She stepped closer, toe to toe, and leaned right into me. “And who’s going to stop me?”
My mouth fell open, and she laughed, nudging me out of the way. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” Devlin didn’t look back as she left the house.
I was still standing there when Demi came through the door. “Daiya,” she said. “What’s wrong?”
“Devlin.”
A deep frown wrinkled her normally smooth skin. “What has she done now?”
“She turned up at the party Saturday, she … she was with a guy.”
Demi’s eyes went wide. “She didn’t … she wouldn’t, not like that.”
“Well, she did. Thankfully, I got there before she did something completely stupid.” But it had been a coincidence. If I hadn’t gone to the party … if Poppy hadn’t gotten drunk… I shuddered. I didn’t want to think about what could have been. I’d stopped her. Laker was okay, and Poppy would be okay, eventually.
“She’s out of control.”
I smashed my lips together, not wanting to say something I might regret. Maybe my sisters were right; maybe leaving was the smart thing to do—the right thing. But nothing about even just thinking it felt right. Kai seemed better now, but if I left, and he got sick again, or something happened to him or …
“Daiya?” Demi came to me, enveloping me in her arms. “Whatever you decide, I’ll be here.
I promise. We’ll get through this together.”
I couldn’t leave. I just couldn’t.
While there was still a shred of hope—even if it slipped further and further away every day—that Kai and I could find a way to be together, I’d take it. Because that was what you did for the people you loved, didn’t you? Even if they didn’t ask for it. Even if they pushed you away at every turn, you stood by them until the end.
KAI
Laker nudged me. “Hey, you all good?”
I nodded, stuffing a fry in my mouth. The truth was I was good. Since slipping the ring onto my finger and feeling the weight of the Essentia rest against my skin, I felt different. Calmer. The excess energy was still there, bubbling under the surface, but I felt in control of it—not the other way around. Just like my father had promised, it quelled the anger. There was just one problem.
The promise I’d had to make in return.
How was I supposed to stay away from Daiya? To cut her out of my life? We lived in the same town and went to the same school. Consumed each other’s thoughts.
I’d felt her the second I walked into class, and it had almost killed me to walk right by her like she was no one. Nothing. In fact, I was pretty sure a little piece of me died. Just as a small shred of my heart was withering right now as her gaze burned into me. I didn’t turn around. I didn’t acknowledge it. I just sat there, among my friends, nodding in all the right places and stuffing the occasional fry into my mouth.
“What do you think, Kai?” Lacey smiled, and I looked at the guys for a clue about what she’d just asked me.
“The limo for winter formal?” one of the guys chimed in.
“Oh, hmm.” I dragged a hand over my face. “I’m probably not going to make it.”
“Like hell, you aren’t.” Laker sounded pissed. We always did school events. It was a team tradition. Besides, everyone expected it.
“Don’t,” I warned, really not in the mood to do this right now.
