He snorted. “Come on, Val. As my wife, you’ll go with me to work-related functions and will need to dress appropriately. Even while you’re out running errands, you’ll need to represent our family well.”
Swallowing back a rejoinder, Valerie did as he asked, cringing at the price tag on the pair of designer jeans she purchased from the mall instead. They wouldn’t be able to keep spending like this if they wanted to eat. She was careful to wash her clothing very gently to make it last as long as possible.
She soon found out that she couldn’t avoid Nick’s outbursts completely, however. Valerie recalled another occasion when she’d been fixing dinner and realized that Nick had used all of the cheese she needed. Turning the burner off, she quickly drove to the corner grocery store, hoping she’d make it back home before Nick arrived from work.
No such luck. His Mercedes Benz—the one they were paying a second mortgage for—was already parked in the driveway when she pulled in. Valerie hopped out and greeted him with a smile and a kiss in an effort to squelch the sense of foreboding that Nick’s puckered brow had created. “Where were you?”
She held up the package of cheese. “I needed to make a quick run to the grocery store.”
His eyes narrowed. “And you went without wearing any makeup? I thought we talked about this.”
They had. That is, Valerie amended silently, Nick had talked and Valerie had listened. Nick had made his feelings quite clear on the subject. “As my wife, you need to—”
“Look the part,” Valerie finished automatically. She knew that Nick was hoping for a promotion soon and Valerie couldn’t risk it from being seen out in public with a hair or eyelash out of place.
His face softened as he pulled her into his arms. Stroking her hair, he crooned, “You’re beautiful, Valerie. I want everyone else to see it too.” Meaning she wasn’t beautiful the way she was? She kept quiet, but underneath, conflicting feelings warred with each other, resurrecting old insecurities that Valerie had thought she’d buried.
Which were compounded when Nick suggested she highlight her hair like other women were doing. And when he gave her a mani-pedi gift package at a fancy salon for her birthday, she’d delighted in it—until she realized that he expected her to keep up with the routine. Valerie sighed. Really, she was a dirt-under-her-fingernails-kind-of-gal who had learned from her grandmother about edible flowers and the best potting soil. After they were married, though, Nick put a stop to her gardening fetish. “There’s no reason to mar that beautiful face by exposing it to harsh sunlight, honey. We can afford to buy vegetables. And if you want flowers on our table, put an order in for them. Who in their right mind wants to slave away in the hot sun and dirt, anyway?”
All of this should have warned Valerie that Nick’s values differed from hers. Why hadn’t she paid closer attention? Valerie berated herself as she picked up a few stray school papers and toys from the floor. Because she was living her dream of being married to a handsome returned missionary. Then, when Whitney came along, Valerie dropped out of school at Nick’s urging. What he was saying was true, she acknowledged. “Our daughter needs you more than you need your education. I earn enough money for my family. You don’t need the stress of trying to keep up with assignments while changing diapers and waking up for 2:00 a.m. feedings.”
But if she thought life with a new baby was hard, Valerie was completely unprepared for the onslaught she faced with the birth of Justin a short year later. Their feelings of joy at having a son were soon replaced with worry over his inconsolable bouts of colic. “What are you doing to him?” Nick grumbled late one night after he’d gone to bed, yanking his T-shirt down and running a hand through his disheveled hair. Justin’s howling hadn’t stopped since Valerie’s dinner had grown cold on the table.
“Nothing!” Valerie growled, hunger and a mounting lack of sleep compounding her frustration level.
“Well, you must be doing something wrong. Otherwise, he wouldn’t cry like this. Did you eat something that didn’t agree with him?”
With utmost effort, Valerie held her tongue. Whitney had taken to nursing from her easily, but even two months after birth, Justin still hadn’t adjusted. His little body must be hurting for all his crying. But what to do about it?
“I’m doing the best I can.” Valerie hated raising her voice to be heard over the baby’s wails, but it couldn’t be helped. She was beyond all coherence with stress and fatigue.
“Well, make him stop! I have an early meeting tomorrow morning. I need to get some sleep.” Not knowing what else to try, she strapped Justin in the car seat and took him for a long drive.
The next three months were much the same. Valerie struggled to put one foot in front of the other as she rocked Justin, fed him, and burped him. She walked up and down the hallway with him. She rocked and fed and burped him some more. She walked up and down the hallway with him again. All day. Every day. Nothing soothed him. Nap times were a blessed reprieve. However, they didn’t last very long.
Through it all, Nick seemed oblivious to her plight. Valerie remembered trying to hand the baby to him when he first walked in the door from work. “Not right now,” he said on more than one occasion. “I’ve had a long day.”
And she hadn’t? “Please, Nick. I just need five minutes to myself.” That included three for using the bathroom. With a drawn-out sigh, Nick grudgingly took the baby.
When Nick glanced down at her, his eyes widened in incredulity. “You haven’t even showered or changed your clothes.” With a lethal sweep of his eyes, he took in the dining table with the breakfast dishes still sitting on it along with the sticky floor where the lid from Whitney’s sippy cup had come loose. “What have you been doing all day?”
“Taking care of our babies,” she snapped, not bothering to tell him that Justin had just spit up on him. He’d find out soon enough.
Pulling Justin’s little body away from himself, Nick stared down at his son as if he was a foreign object. “Surely you could find five minutes to grab a paper towel and wipe up this mess.” Shoving the baby back at her, he did just that, his jerky movements punctuating his anger.
“I-I guess I could. But then Justin would cry.”
“He cries anyway, so what’s the difference? That’s no excuse to leave the house looking like a huge garbage can.”
Valerie strove harder to keep the balance between a semi-clean home, happy kids, and a happy husband. More often than not, the scales were tipped in Justin’s favor.
“You’re always coddling that kid and ignoring our daughter,” Nick said just after Justin’s second birthday. “You shouldn’t give in to his tantrums. And you need to quit allowing him to make so many messes.”
“I’m trying, Nick. It’s not like I want Justin to be this way. Something must be wrong, but I don’t know what.”
“Take him to the doctor.”
“I just took him in for his checkup. Aside from a speech delay, the doctor said everything looked fine.”
“Well, he obviously isn’t fine. He doesn’t talk, doesn’t respond to me, and is totally focused on getting into stuff, even when we put it away.”
“He does seem to have a one-track mind at times.”
“No kidding. I’m sick of him disrupting our lives. We can’t even have a peaceful dinner anymore. And we never get to spend time together.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her with a fervor that she knew meant one thing. Nick wanted her undivided attention.
As much as it hurt to hear Nick disparage their own offspring, she had to admit that what he was saying was true. But it wouldn’t always be this way, would it? A frisson of fear crept in. What if Justin didn’t get better?
Nick’s voice softened as he caressed her cheek. “Let’s get away, Val. Your passport is still current, right? My parents could watch the kids while we take a trip.”
Mmm. Valerie closed her eyes and rested her head against Nick’s chest, hearing the sound of gentle ocean waves lapping in the distance. “Sounds go
od.”
Their plane to Tahiti took off a week later. Valerie and Nick enjoyed a much-needed break away from their kids. By day, they waded in the ocean and watched surfers battling waves in the distance. By night, they walked along Teavora Beach, holding hands and stealing kisses in the moonlight. There, away from the day-today stresses and worries of their lives, Valerie believed she and Nick were still in love.
But reality came crashing in on them much the way the waves had in Tahiti when they landed back on American soil. Back at her in-laws’ home, Valerie had almost left the guest bedroom after gathering her children’s bags when she heard Nick’s voice coming from the monitor. “He’ll be fine, Mom. You did the right thing.”
“I did exactly what you asked me to. I’m not sure it worked, though. Nick, there’s got to be something we can do to straighten him out. He can’t continue to climb on everything and break stuff. Nor can he be allowed to throw his tantrums.”
Nick sighed. “I know. I’ve tried talking to Valerie but it’s no use. She won’t listen to reason.”
“She’s teaching Justin bad behavior. We didn’t let him get away with it here. He spent a good deal of time in time-out with your father. At times, he had to physically hold Justin down because the boy was so distraught.”
Valerie bit her lip. Talk about being distraught! A feeling of disgust and ire built in the pit of her stomach as she learned that Nick’s parents had pitted their will against Justin’s and undermined Valerie’s parenting methods, all under Nick’s sneaky direction. Spanking him for pulling down their curtains and keeping him in his bedroom until he stopped crying. Practically forcing him to potty-train when he clearly wasn’t ready—and punishing him when he had accidents. What good did these methods do when the child couldn’t respond in an appropriate way? How did they know that Justin understood the reason behind what they were doing?
Was it any wonder that Justin would hardly let Valerie out of his sight for the next two weeks? “That’s it, Nick Hall!” Valerie shouted with Justin still clinging to her every time she tried to walk out the door just to go to the post office or grocery store, all while crying at the top of his lungs. “I will never go anywhere with you again.”
Nick stalked up to her, his jaw clenched. He looked so angry that for a split second, Valerie wondered if he was going to strike her. “Oh, don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, Valerie, because we’re through. I’ve had enough of this brat. My mom tried to shape him up in the short time she had him, but you’re too much of a pushover to let any real progress be made.”
Shaking, Valerie asked, “What do you mean, ‘we’re through’?”
“Just what I said. I’ll be in contact through my attorney.” With that, he packed a bag and left, slamming the door behind him. Numb, all Valerie could do was stare in shock even with Whitney and Justin wailing—albeit for different reasons.
Valerie and Nick divorced soon afterward and she moved in with her parents. She worried about the possibility of a custody battle, but Nick had wanted nothing to do with “that kid,” instead only opting for visitation rights for Whitney. Valerie had sought help through Arizona’s Early Intervention Program to get Justin the assistance he needed, which included American Sign Language or ASL, followed by speech therapy using picture cards or PECS, occupational therapy, and even potty training in a non-threatening manner when they all agreed that he was ready. A heady sense of relief enveloped her as the tremendous burden for Justin’s day-to-day care was shared with others who actually cared for his well-being.
Living with her parents wasn’t an ideal situation, however. Justin repeatedly ransacked her mom’s pantry and her dad’s tools, scattering them every which way. They’d had to put everything under lock and key just to keep him safe. Finally, in a state of exhaustion, Valerie’s mom told her, “Honey, I love my grandson, but I can’t take this constant chaos any longer. Your dad and I have a solution for you. When Grandma and Grandpa Skylar leave on their mission in two months, we would like for you to move into their house. You can take care of their lawn and garden while they’re gone.”
The arrangement had worked out terrifically for the past sixteen months. They would need to repaint the walls to cover Justin’s scribbles before Valerie’s grandparents returned from Des Moines, Iowa, but Valerie was feeling pretty good about the fact that she had kept her grandparents’ place in northeast Mesa in one piece. Of course, they would need to find another place to live soon, but she again pushed that to the back of her mind.
“Mommy! Mommy! Hurry!” Whitney’s panicked voice carried from the hallway. “Justin got into your makeup!”
When she sprinted into the room, she came face to face with a happy little boy proudly wearing lipstick. Mascara streaked his face. Valerie almost laughed until she saw her liquid makeup smeared into the bed and carpet.
Gage entered Eric and Sarah Nielsen’s home in Tempe, Arizona, later that evening with trepidation. Despite the enticing aromas that were wafting from his mom’s kitchen, Gage’s stomach clenched. He doubted he’d be able to eat a single bite. By asking Pierce to set up this dinner so that he could explain his dilemma, Gage knew he was taking the coward’s way out. But if he’d called his mom, she would have ferreted out the details right then. This was one story that needed to be told face-to-face.
“Hi, Gage.” His stepdad, Eric, slapped him on the back. “We haven’t seen you in a while. How’s everything going?”
Gage shrugged, feeling slightly ill. He was still trying to figure out how to tell his family. Could his family members eventually come to love his little boy like one of their own?
He strode through the living room and rounded the corner where he found his mom, Sarah, setting dishes of steaming food on the table. His sister-in-law, Noelle, who was approaching her seventh month of pregnancy, was setting the table.
Remembering his manners in the company of these women, he offered, “Hey, Noelle. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll take care of that?”
Both women looked up and smiled at him. “Hi, Gage.” His mom gave him a hug.
“Hi, Gage. That’s okay,” Noelle said. “I’m finishing up now.”
“Where are Pierce and Caleb?”
“They’re outside, kicking the soccer ball around. The temperatures are climbing, so they’re trying to get all of the outdoor time they can before summer hits.”
“Yeah, I hear you. This is my favorite time of the year—and busiest.”
Noelle gave him a knowing look. “The thick of baseball season. We’ve hardly seen you lately.”
Gage had spent the better part of the spring drumming up business for the Diamondbacks, schmoozing with various CEOs of companies who wanted to offer their employees incentives for their hard work with the usage of premium seating. The suites at Chase Field usually filled up in spite of their exorbitant prices. Although some families reserved the same one year after year as a place to hold reunions, the pool remained the most popular spot for such events.
“Dinner is ready,” Sarah announced.
Noelle called her husband and son inside. Pierce greeted Gage and kissed his wife before whispering something in her ear. Pierce had the look of a truly content man. And why wouldn’t he with an adorable family and a career in biomedical engineering that was taking off? A lump formed in Gage’s throat. He’d wanted that same ideal with April, but things had turned out much differently.
After the group sat down at the table and folded their arms, Eric offered a simple yet sincere blessing on the food, causing Gage to squirm in discomfort. When he finished, everyone passed the dishes around and started to eat. Gage filled his plate with his mom’s delicious chicken Alfredo with homemade sauce and scooped a small portion of vegetables onto his plate. He took a few bites, but the queasiness in his stomach made it impossible to eat.
“Are you all right, Gage?” Sarah asked. Her food sat untouched.
He stared at her for a solemn moment. While he’d always known that he would have
this conversation with his family sooner or later, he’d do anything to avoid it right now. “I have something to tell all of you.”
Sarah waited. When Gage hesitated, Eric placed his arm around her shoulders, lifting his brow at him. “Well?”
“April has been calling me a lot lately.”
Sarah eyed him worriedly. “What for? She couldn’t possibly be trying to get back together with you, could she?”
“No.” He shook his head. “It isn’t that.” Clearing his throat, he tried again. “We, uh, have a four-year-old son. She wants me to take him off her hands this weekend.”
Eyes bulging, Noelle turned to her husband in shock.
“Gage!” His mom gasped indelicately, prompting Gage to plunge into his explanation. He told them of April’s deception after their divorce, the paternity test, and even the way he’d blown off any serious commitments toward his child.
“So that’s why you were making all those trips to Tucson,” Pierce said in derision. “I thought you had another girlfriend down there.”
“No. Just a son named Zach.”
“‘Just a son’?” Noelle echoed in disbelief. “How can you say that as calmly as if you’d bought a pet hamster?” Her voice rose a little at the end.
Pierce’s brows slashed downward. “Let me get this straight. You had this kid a full year before our son was born and yet didn’t bother to tell us about him?”
Gage flinched. He’d been on the receiving end of that glare more times than he could count through the years. Still, he’d hoped that Pierce, the brother he was closest to, would understand. “I’m not trying to dismiss it as if it’s no big deal. I didn’t tell you all before because, well, I was embarrassed about what happened, okay? I know I screwed up. But by the time I received the results from the paternity test, Zach was almost a year old. He’d been with April the whole time and I decided not to fight for him. I didn’t want to get involved with her again.”
The Matchup Page 2
