“Then why did you bring her?”
Because I’m crazy about her and her kids. Because I’m trying to make a huge change in my life and I’m scared out of my wits about doing it. Because she’s been my anchor in this storm.
“Because I love her.”
The words slipped out before he could stop them. The shocked looks on Craig’s and Pierce’s faces would have been priceless if Gage hadn’t been so worried about their reactions. He looked away only to see Eric grinning at him like a Cheshire cat.
“So when are you going to go back to church?” Pierce asked. “Because I’ll have you know that the Levingtons take the gospel very seriously.”
Gage sighed. Couldn’t his brothers cut him any slack? Before he could answer them, however, Eric interrupted him. “He’s already started going back.”
Craig smiled. “Really, man? How long ago?”
“I just started,” he mumbled, feeling uncomfortable with the conversation.
“And he’s talking to Valerie’s bishop.” Again, Eric supplied this bit of information.
Craig and Pierce looked at each other in astonishment. “Is that true, Gage?”
“Valerie has helped me come to terms with my first marriage.” With a self-conscious laugh, he added, “I guess you could say we’ve both ‘been there, done that.’ She’s given me some great ideas for coping with Zach too.”
Craig grinned. “That’s awesome, Gage. Just make sure that what you’re feeling for her goes beyond gratitude.”
Gage sighed. Brothers! “I will, Counselor. As long as you make sure you really want to move back to this hot spot. You better hope your wife doesn’t regret it later.” Earlier, Craig had told his brothers that he had secured a new job in Arizona and would be moving down here in the next few weeks. Gage was excited for them.
“Nah. She’ll get used to it.”
They bantered with each other for a few more minutes before a loud shouting match hailed from inside the house. Gage took off running the instant he realized that it was Justin.
Gage and his brothers found Valerie holding onto Justin to prevent his flailing arms from hitting Gage’s nephew, Caleb. Justin shouted at the frightened boy being held against Noelle’s rounded belly. Pierce pulled his crying son up in his arms while Gage rushed to Valerie’s side. “What happened?”
His heart lurched at the stricken look on her face. “They had a disagreement over a game they were playing.”
“That’s more than just a disagreement,” Pierce said loudly over Justin’s screaming.
Valerie’s face contorted at the candid remark. Gage gently placed his hands around each side of Justin’s rib cage and pulled him gently while keeping his voice carefully modulated. “Let me take him for a little while, Valerie. Okay?”
She was starting to panic. He could see it her eyes.
“It will be all right. Just let me walk him around the neighborhood for a few minutes. We’ll be right back.”
She reluctantly withdrew her hands around Justin. “Okay.”
Gage carried Justin out the front door. Dusk had fallen and the fireworks show, which he knew could be seen from the house at a distance, would begin soon. Justin was still writhing and screaming angrily. “Justin,” he said in a steady voice. “Calm down. You’re all right.”
Not knowing what else to do, Gage kept repeating himself while rubbing his back. He managed to calm the boy down enough to set him on his feet and take his hand. “Let’s go see if we can spot the fireworks from down the block, all right?”
Hiccupping, Justin nodded through his tears.
In the silence that followed, Valerie bit her lip while scanning the perplexed faces around the room. “Pierce, Noelle, I’m so sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say.
Apparently, no one else did, either. Noelle looked anxiously at her husband, whose tight expression mirrored her own. She ran her hand in soothing circles on Caleb’s back and, after a few moments, turned back to Valerie with a sympathetic smile. “It’s okay. Caleb’s all right now.” With obvious reluctance, Pierce set him down and sent Caleb off to play with the others.
Valerie should have followed Justin into the playroom to monitor his behavior. Justin wasn’t very good at playing games. His skill level rarely matched that of the other players, yet he couldn’t quite understand why he never won. Instead, he reverted to calling them names, accusing them of cheating or becoming openly hostile.
She’d known all of this, so why hadn’t she listened to her conscience?
Because it’d been too long since she’d enjoyed living. Because a handsome man was paying attention to her again and because his family had invited her to participate in something that sounded so promising.
“Excuse me,” Valerie whispered and made her way to the front door. Gage and Justin were nowhere to be seen. That was okay since she needed a minute to calm her nerves.
At length, the door opened softly behind her. Sarah Nielsen approached quietly and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Valerie said. Not sure how much Gage had told them, she added, “I wish it could be different. I wish that Justin was normal.”
She knew she wasn’t making much sense at this point, but Sarah let her blather on without comment. Then Sarah said softly, “It will get better over time.”
“How do you know that?”
“Craig is a counselor at a high school. He’s worked with several autistic adolescents. He was just telling me that he has seen vast improvements in many of them every year that he has worked there. But it takes time. And even though it will never be perfect or even what you’d prefer, the answers will come when you need them.”
There was something to hang onto, Valerie supposed. “I don’t understand why Heavenly Father gave Justin to me. I’ve seen so many other wonderful people whom I thought would be great parents for an autistic child. I feel so inadequate.”
“He knew that you could do it.” Sarah’s quiet answer penetrated a place in her heart that she’d closed off to others’ scrutiny. “He has every confidence in you, Valerie. And right now, you are the only parent Justin can rely on. He needs for you to be strong. Though, if I had my wish, Gage would become a supportive father figure to your children as well.”
Valerie pulled back, startled. “You mean—you’re not angry with us?”
Sarah smiled and pulled her back into a hug. “Goodness, no. Gage has explained Justin’s disorder to us. Although we don’t understand it fully, we know that you’re doing all that you can to help him.”
“I hope Pierce and Noelle aren’t too upset with us.”
Sarah shook her head. “They’ll get over it. Noelle’s not letting on, but I think she’s experiencing fairly painful contractions. Naturally, she and Pierce are a little on edge. Also, Caleb is their only child. They’ll soon learn the give and take of sibling rivalry and be able to deal with it in a more objective manner.”
Valerie agreed. Yes, there were times when both children needed attention at the same time and she had to decide which child’s needs took priority.
They sat on the porch and talked for another ten minutes. Valerie had always secretly admired Sarah Logan. She was beautiful and smart. She always had a smile and a kind word for everyone. Valerie had wanted to become like her. After becoming a mother to two rambunctious kids, however, she focused simply on surviving. But if Sarah could arise from the ashes of her own crumbled marriage stronger and with greater happiness to share, then Valerie knew she could too.
Gage and Justin emerged from the shadows of the night soon after. Much calmer now, Justin sat down beside his mother. Valerie put her arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. Gage knelt in front of them and told Valerie, “Justin has something to say to you.”
Valerie waited. To her surprise, Justin mumbled the words, “I’m sorry,” while looking down at the porch.
She gasped. “How did you—”
Gage’s embarrassed shrug stopped her mid-sent
ence. He sent a silent signal toward Justin.
Valerie took a deep breath. Gage was right. Justin’s apology was all that mattered at the moment. She leaned over and gave him a huge hug even though she knew that he loathed them. “Thank you so much, sweetheart. That means a lot to me. I want you to remember that the Logans are our friends. If we want to be invited back again, we need treat them kindly.”
“Okay, Mom.”
Gage lightly tapped Justin’s knee. “Hey, buddy. I’m proud of you. But there’s one more person I need for you to apologize to. Are you ready to go tell Caleb that you’re sorry?” For a moment, Justin’s face clouded. Valerie, along with Gage and Sarah, waited with baited breath for Justin to decide what he would do. “Okay.”
Valerie let her breath out slowly. Gage had just performed a miracle with her son.
“That went well, didn’t it?”
Valerie looked over at Gage as he drove them home, trying to decide if he was joking or being serious. His teasing grin gave him away. Okay, so they’d hit a rough patch at the family celebration, but all in all, everyone had had a good time, including Whitney, who had hit it off with Craig and Marissa’s daughter, Sophie.
“I would still like to know how you convinced Justin to apologize,” Valerie said. She glanced back, seeing her son leaning on Whitney with his eyes closed, his breathing even. It had been a long day for all of them.
“Remember when you told me that Justin responds well to being given choices? Well, the only choice I could think to offer him was to ask whom he wanted to apologize to first—you or Caleb.” He shrugged. “I know that wasn’t really much of a choice, but it worked in a pinch.”
“It was perfect,” she assured him.
In the silence that followed Valerie’s declaration, Gage debated whether to test the waters as far as asking her on a real date. Now that the stressful moments were over, Valerie seemed a little less tense. Unfortunately for him, a nervous feeling twisted his insides, which also held some strange hold over his tongue.
“Hey, Valerie, I was wondering . . .”
Valerie turned to look at him. “Yes?”
If this was any other woman, Gage wouldn’t hesitate. But this was Valerie, the girl of his dreams. Her standards for dating were undoubtedly high. And Gage was fairly certain he’d never been in the running for her affections. Until now.
“Gage?” she asked when he didn’t respond. “What is it?”
“Well . . . I was hoping you might . . .” Again, his voice trailed off.
“Come out with it already, Gage. What’s going on?” Gage gulped. This was harder than he’d thought. Especially with sleepy kids in the backseat. He lowered his voice. “A date. I’m trying to ask you on a real date, Valerie. Friday night. Just you and me. Without the kids.” Great. Now he sounded like a moonstruck teenager.
She lifted a skeptical brow. “Really?”
Why was that so hard to believe? “Yes.”
Her expression eased and her mouth spread into that enticing smile of hers. “I would love to, Gage.” And he loved it when her voice went all velvety like that.
He should have asked her sooner.
“You want me to go out on the lake with you in that?” Valerie looked at the pedal boat Gage had rented at Tempe Town Lake with a mixture of whimsy and uncertainty. “It looks like an oversized raft with wheels.” Her voice was anything but velvety now.
Gage, however, was having a hard time keeping his excitement in check. “Think of it as a glorified bicycle.”
“That floats on water.” With an amused smile, Valerie shook her head. “Gage, only you could come up with something like this for a first date.” She stepped into the contraption gingerly, holding on to the sides of the boat, and situated herself on the far seat. He then followed.
“It’s a good thing it’s getting dark,” Valerie said, tugging her life jacket tighter.
“Hey! Are you saying that you don’t want to be seen with the best-looking guy here?”
Gage’s heart tripped over the delicate rise of her eyebrows. With the sun setting behind her, pinks and golds providing a nice backdrop, she was beautiful. A lump formed in his throat.
“Ha, ha! So how do we get this thing started?”
“Easy. We just start pedaling.” Although it turned out to be harder than he first thought. Valerie controlled one side of the pedal while Gage controlled the other. They had to coordinate their efforts or be content where they were. Actually, he thought with a smile, he was a happy man out here on the sparkling water with the night sky deepening to shades of pink and indigo with graystreaked cloud wisps. Even with the freeway so close, it seemed like it was just the two of them.
Gage stopped pedaling. “Let’s sit here for a few minutes and enjoy the view.”
Valerie smiled at Gage. “I bring my kids here to the splash pad often, but I’ve never been out on the water. It’s peaceful in its own way.”
“Did you know that the seats recline?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Let’s try it.”
They found the levers on either side to pull the seat backs down. A comfortable silence settled between them as they drifted. When a blissful sigh escaped Valerie’s lips, he teased, “Hey, no falling asleep. What would that say about being in my company?”
Valerie quipped, “It would say that you’re a genius. You truly know what’s important to this woman.”
“Sleep?”
She chuckled. “Yeah. A mother of two kids doesn’t get enough of that.”
Point taken. Gage had needed time to adjust to Zach’s schedule as well. However, he couldn’t have his date falling asleep on him. If his brothers found out, they’d never let him live it down.
“It’s too bad we’re still in the city limits,” Valerie said. “Then we’d be able to see the stars.”
“The only time I’ve ever seen the stars were on those Scout campouts so long ago with your dad.”
The sun had finally dipped below the horizon and the lake was bathed in soft lights outlining the bridge. “I take it you don’t miss them.”
Gage shook his head. “Not much.” He’d always been a city kid. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t go for a star-gazing expedition with Valerie some time. Might be kind of nice. A realization hit him. “This isn’t really your thing, is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re the kind of person who likes her solitude. Not so many people around as here.”
As if just noticing her surroundings, Valerie raised her head to scan the shoreline. “This place is usually crowded but tonight’s perfect.”
That was because most people were inside enjoying the air conditioning. Even after the sun had dipped, the temperature had only marginally followed suit. It couldn’t have suited Gage’s purposes better. They’d eaten their fill at a bistro beforehand, talking all the while about inconsequential things. And now, with the romantic ambience of the soft lights and still water, Gage wanted to know more about Valerie. What she liked. What she hoped and dreamed.
“Tell me, Valerie. What is your dream for your future?”
She stayed silent for so long that Gage finally turned to look at her. Valerie was gazing out toward the water. “For the most part, I want my kids to be happy. Well-adjusted and able to cope in life.”
It was a worthy goal. For Justin, Gage hoped it could happen. “What about yourself?”
“I hope to someday go back to school and study horticulture. I’d love to work in a nursery and maybe even become a manager someday. I’ve been taking classes that the Desert Botanical Garden offers from time to time. My garden has prospered from it and I would like to expand on that knowledge and perhaps help others do the same.”
“You would do great.” But what about her personal life? The tongue-tied sensation that nearly overcame Gage when he’d asked her out threatened to do the same again. Tempted to stay silent, he rallied for courage. “Do you ever think about remarrying someday?”
“What if you did find someone like that? Do you think you’d want to have more kids?”
“Nope!”
She said it with such force that Gage winced. “But why not? You’re a terrific mother, Valerie. I can see you with a house full of kids.”
She gave a humorless laugh. “I don’t think so. Not after what I went through when Justin was born. I couldn’t handle that again.”
By her set jaw, Gage deduced that it must have been an agonizing experience for her. He knew there were no guarantees in life, but still, with April’s deception and Gage’s initial dismissal of fatherhood, he wouldn’t mind being given a chance to try it again. He would do better the second time around. But if Valerie was dead set against the notion, should he continue to pursue her? How could he not?
Checking the time, Gage and Valerie decided to head back to shore. Then they stopped in a shop that was open late for a serving of gelato.
“Are you going to be at church on Sunday?” Valerie asked, startling Gage.
Setting the plastic spoon back into his dish, he said, “Yeah, I’ll be there. The D-Backs will be back in town on Monday. Are you game for another date tomorrow?”
Valerie pretended to consider. “I might be. If I can convince my sister to watch the kids again. Where?”
“It’s a surprise. But I hope you’re still in the mood for stargazing.”
She beamed. “Sure, if it doesn’t rain.” One could never tell during the middle of monsoon season.
“It won’t. I promise.”
She raised quizzical eyebrows to him. “You can promise a clear sky? Wow. You must be a magician.”
“Not really. But I like my chances.” He’d already checked the weather forecast for this week in anticipation of this outing. Valerie nodded. “Okay. Then it’s a date.”
The Matchup Page 16
