They found a place where they could sit and rest for a while. Darcy liked the feel of her hand in his. Elizabeth looked him squarely in the eyes. “When you left Netherfield, I believed you decided against me.” She still could not believe they were here at last. “A man who has been once refused is not likely to risk such censure again.”
“Your temper,” he laughed, “is not something I wish to encounter often,” remembering the heated confrontation of his first proposal. “When I left Netherfield a fortnight ago, I was convinced you were decided against me!”
She smiled brilliantly at him when she said,“We are a destructive pair, are we not? We need no enemies for we serve both roles.” He kissed her fingertips and brushed the hair from her face. “If you were convinced of my disdain, what brought you back to Netherfield?”
“My aunt,” he started.
“Yes, she was here,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes.
“How can I apologize to you for Lady Catherine’s behavior? Her manners were abominable.”
“I would welcome her barbs repeatedly if I knew they would bring me to this moment.” Her voice was breathy with anticipation.
“Her coming to London did not achieve the effect she expected. I remained calm as was humanly possible to do because I wanted to know your response. Her words taught me to hope as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before.”
Elizabeth smirked as she said, “Lady Catherine so prefers to be of use to everyone; she should be pleased she was of use to us.”
With a tone of sarcasm, Darcy assured her Lady Catherine would be most displeased. “My cousin Anne will think otherwise, however. Do you know, Elizabeth, you were not the only one at Rosings who refused to be my wife? Anne and I met in the library, and she informed me I was quite a ‘frightening’ figure; then she said she did not wish to be my wife. In fact, I need to send Edward news of our engagement; he hopes to catch Lady Catherine when she is most vulnerable and then secure Anne for his own.”
“Edward and Anne?” He shook his head in affirmation. “Why did I not see that relationship? I once thought myself to be a keen observer of people, but since I met you, Mr. Darcy, I have come to second-guess my opinions.”
“Will I continue to always be Mr. Darcy to you, Elizabeth? May you not call me Fitzwilliam or, at the least, Darcy?”
“Once you receive my father’s consent,” she teased, “then you will no longer be Mr. Darcy. Until then, I shall call you thus.”
“You are a stubborn woman, Elizabeth Bennet. Maybe I should rethink the offer of my hand,” he returned the joviality.
“I am afraid it is too late, Mr. Darcy,” she emphasized his name, “because I already am in possession of your heart.”
“You are, indeed, Madam,” he bent to kiss her cheek, “you are indeed.” Darcy let his lips linger, and she could feel his breath on her neck. His voice was raspy when he spoke again. “My aunt’s retelling inspired me to action. I knew enough of your disposition to be certain that, had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly.”
Elizabeth offered a ghost of a grin as she chastised herself.“Yes, you know enough of my frankness to believe me capable of that. After abusing you so abominably to your face, I could have no scruples in abusing you to all your relations.”
For the next few minutes, they each belabored themselves for the foolishness of their earlier wrongs. Darcy, who prided himself on being a man of scruples, criticized his first proposal for its poorly worded sentiments. He showed mistaken pride, and he proved himself not worthy of Elizabeth’s love then. He admitted the memory of his conduct, his manners, and his expressions of love pained him for their inappropriateness. “I shall never forget your challenging me with ‘Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner.’Those were your words.You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me—though it was some time, I confess, before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice.”
Elizabeth, being of a lighter temperament, blamed them both for the many misunderstandings, which occurred that evening. “I was certainly very far from expecting them to make so strong an impression. I had not the smallest idea of their being ever felt in such a way.”
Darcy was not willing to abandon his self-reproach so easily despite the fact Elizabeth was now his; the pain was difficult to surrender, but Elizabeth now understood his nature and first gave him his moments and then redirected his passions. She begged him not to recollect in so much detail how they misread each other for so long. “We will be happy now—the happiest couple to ever be married.”
Darcy chuckled lightly as they stood to continue their walk; they caught each other’s eye, and shades of their present tranquillity insolently demanded admittance.“The letter,” he embarked,“did it soon make you think better of me? Did you, on reading it, give any credit to its contents?”
Elizabeth told him the letter was a revelation. “It gradually removed all my former prejudices. I came to know myself as I never had before.”
“I am sorry if it gave you pain. I was angry at your rejection; I was jealous of your attentions to Mr. Wickham; I was lost to loving you,” his countenance dropped.
“Mr. Darcy, we will have no more melancholy,” she emphatically said.“You will not be the Prince of Denmark for if you recall I dearly love to laugh. If the letter brings you recompense, it shall be burned.The feelings of the person who wrote the letter and the person who received it differ greatly now.” The subject needed airing without distraction, but Elizabeth would not have him sad today. “I want you to remember only the pleasant things from the past.We will have no sadness today.”
Darcy gave her credit for having acted well in all their dealings. He, on the other hand, realized his life created a double man—the man the world saw and the one Elizabeth now loved. He told her his parents were loving people and taught him what was right; but they allowed him to act prideful with others, never correcting his disposition. “Unfortunately an only son, for many years an only child, I was spoiled by my parents, who, though good themselves, allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world. Such I was, from eight to eight-and-twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you.You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.”
“I never meant to deceive you,” she stammered and looked deep in his eyes. “If I was not blinded by my own prejudices, I would have seen the man you really are. Our pride and our prejudice are a dust from the past; dust must be wiped away, leaving a clean surface. You spent your life ignoring others; I spent mine constantly censuring them; we will learn and offer forgiveness to each other.” She gently stroked his jawline. “May we not talk of something more pleasant?”
Darcy conceded easily.They would have a lifetime to vanquish those ghosts.They unknowingly leisurely walked several miles, and upon looking at their watches, they realized it was time to be home. Elizabeth looked around sheepishly. “I totally forgot about Jane and Mr. Bingley. They will wonder where we have gone . . . . Tell me true, Mr. Darcy, did you give Mr. Bingley permission to court my sister again?”
“Bingley needs not my permission,” he claimed his innocence. “What I did give him was my sincerest apology for interfering in his life.”
“Did he forgive you?” Elizabeth teased.
“His letter announcing his engagement to your sister told me I was forgiven.”
“Then you changed your mind about Jane?”
“I knew I was wrong last April.Your insights allowed me to see Miss Bennet as I never saw her before.Then Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner spoke of her affable nature. What could I do but to rescind my judgment? How could I kee
p Bingley from Miss Bennet and justify my feelings for you? I simply told Bingley he could wait or he could offer his hand; either way, the result would be the same. I watched Miss Bennet in your home, and I knew her regard for Bingley had not diminished.”
Elizabeth thought it to be amusing how easily he could manipulate Mr. Bingley. As they neared Longbourn, they knew they would have to part until Darcy could secure her father’s consent. He felt her conviction as he moved up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. Elizabeth turned toward him, captured by his nearness. “Mr. Darcy, you are an exceedingly handsome man.” Her fingers traced his lips.
He caught her hand and kissed her fingertips; Darcy’s eyes danced with the passion he could no longer conceal. “Elizabeth, you gave me the world today. I will spend my life trying to make you happy.”They walked next to each other the rest of the way to Longbourn; they did not need to touch to be connected. Their love was there; that was enough for now.
Entering Longbourn, Jane turned and asked, “My dear Lizzy, where can you have been walking to?”
“Yes,” Kitty added,“we feared something happened to you.”
“I am sorry to plague your sensibilities. We wandered about until I was beyond my own knowledge,” she offered an explanation. Darcy noticed she blushed, but no one else took note of her nervousness. Elizabeth shot Darcy a quick glance, and he gave her back a reassuring smile.
Dinner awaited them, but they purposely sat at opposite ends of the table. Neither could look at the other without betraying the love now openly declared. Darcy, seated next to the man, turned his attentions to her father. “Mr. Bennet, I understand from your daughter you are considering some changes at Longbourn. I am also trying to address concerns at Pemberley; would you consider sharing some of the changes of which you are thinking?”
Mr. Bennet’s interest in Darcy increased. “Well, Mr. Darcy,” he began,“what are you considering?”
“A four-crop rotation is one of the prevalent changes my steward Mr. Howard and I have put in place. It is widely used in Scotland and the Americas.”
“A four-crop rotation, you say?”
Throughout the dinner, Darcy’s effort to engage her father pleased Elizabeth. She knew thanks to her earlier censure of this man she now loved, except for Jane, the Meryton Assembly set her family’s opinion of Darcy. Tomorrow she would admit her error in judgment and tell them how much she now esteemed him. Jane and Mr. Bingley talked and laughed together; everyone easily accepted Bingley. Happiness did not take an open path in Darcy’s case, and although she knew him to be so, others would not; plus, Elizabeth feared even with his fortune and consequence, her family may not accept him.
“Are you up for a game of billiards, Darcy?” Charles Bingley called to his friend when they returned to Netherfield.
“Truthfully, Bingley, I would prefer some of your pleasant conversation; that is, if you have anything left to say after spending the day with Miss Bennet,” Darcy smirked.
“She is the most beautiful woman. Do you not agree, Darcy?”
“I am afraid I prefer something with a little darker coloring, but Miss Bennet is perfect for you, my friend.”
“A little darker coloring, you say?”
“Yes, I do say.” Darcy avoided the question as he watched Bingley pour them both drinks.
“You are being mysterious this evening, Darcy.” Bingley handed him a glass of port as they found chairs across from each other in the drawing room. “I noticed you and Mr. Bennet had what appeared to be an enjoyable conversation at dinner.Thank you for trying to be cordial to Jane’s family.You are a dear friend.”
“The conversation with Mr. Bennet was enlightening, but I must admit it was not totally for your benefit, Bingley.”
“Do tell, Darcy.” Darcy’s words peaked Bingley’s interest.
“Bingley,” he began, not sure if he dare say the words, “I asked Miss Elizabeth to be my wife.”
“Darcy, this cannot be! I saw how you showed her preference at Pemberley, but I also saw you do so at Netherfield last fall. Then you two would be nearly in an altercation the next moment.You seem to always be in contention rather than in love.”
Darcy laughed; Bingley’s assessment of his relationship with Elizabeth Bennet was accurate.“I cannot explain it; I have been in constant turmoil since I beheld her at the Meryton Assembly.”
“But you refused to even dance with Miss Elizabeth then!”
“An act for which I will always owe her an apology,” Darcy chuckled ironically. “I have been a fool in love; everything about the woman went against my principles, but, much to my chagrin, I found Elizabeth was exactly what I needed. She is the only woman who dared to challenge me—to humble me.”
“Remarkable!” Bingley exhaled loudly.
“That is a true estimation of Miss Elizabeth—remarkable!” Darcy mused.
“Tell me more.When did this love begin? She did accept you. Of course, she did,” Bingley reasoned.
“I wish I could tell you when it began. First, I noticed her; after all, you kindly threw the two of us together in your pursuit of Miss Bennet.” Bingley laughed lightly as he recalled his early infatuation with Jane Bennet. “I thought her to be a diversion for the lack of society I found in Hertfordshire; but then, I found, I could think of little else but Elizabeth Bennet. I concocted ways to engage her in conversation—what you interpreted as our verbal battles. Think about it—in all our time in Hertfordshire, besides your sisters, to whom did I show any attention other than Elizabeth?” Again, Bingley chuckled with the realization. “And Miss Elizabeth has accepted my proposal of marriage this time.”
“Wait a minute! This time? I do not understand, Darcy.”
“I proposed to Elizabeth last April at Hunsford, and she sent me packing.”
“Darcy, you jest. She refused you?”
“Most emphatically! I treated her poorly, and she rewarded me with her disdain. In reality, my interference in your life, plus Mr. Wickham’s deceit colored Elizabeth’s opinion of me.All my wealth could not persuade her otherwise; but her understanding of the real situation allowed her to finally love me.”
“This explains the changes I have seen in you, Darcy. Elizabeth Bennet allowed you to be the man I always saw as your friend, but rarely saw in public.”
Darcy took a sip of the port as the changes came slowly but predictably to mind. “I will ask for her father’s consent tomorrow so please do not say anything, Bingley, until then.”
“I may tell Miss Bennet, may I not, Darcy?”
“If I know Miss Elizabeth, your Jane knows by now; Elizabeth and Jane are more than sisters; and now, Charles, we will be more than friends; we will be brothers.”
The joy on Bingley’s face was evident. “We shall be brothers, Darcy,” he laughed aloud. “What say you to another walk in the country tomorrow, Brother? This time you and Miss Elizabeth may get lost legitimately.”
“Bingley, you read my mind perfectly.”
The rest of the evening they spent in intimate conversation, each man extolling the merits of his perspective bride. As they prepared to retire for the evening, Bingley looked at Darcy and said, “Darcy, may I have the pleasure of telling my dear sister Caroline not only am I to marry Miss Bennet, but you are lost to Miss Elizabeth? It will be a fitting revenge for her intrusion into my private affairs.”
“I would not want to be in the room with Miss Bingley when she receives that letter,” Darcy weighed.“Pity the poor servants.”
“After you receive Mr. Bennet’s consent, I will write a most legible letter to her. I would not want my renowned poor handwriting to keep this important news from Caroline.” Both men found the image of Caroline Bingley reading the letter to be very amusing.
Entering Longbourn the following day, Darcy’s eyes went immediately to Elizabeth, and she rewarded him with a purse of her lips and a smile. He could tell from her expression his appearance vexed Mrs. Bennet, and the remark pained Elizabeth. He also realized h
is earlier behavior would be hard to explain away to Mrs. Bennet and the others. Bingley could not totally control his enthusiasm for upon their entrance, he looked at Elizabeth so expressively and shook hands with such warmth, she knew immediately Darcy informed Bingley of their engagement. Bingley turned to Mrs. Bennet and said aloud, “Mrs. Bennet, have you no more lanes hereabouts in which Lizzy may lose her way again today?”
Mrs. Bennet laughed lightly at his humor. “I advise Mr. Darcy, Lizzy, and Kitty to walk to Oakham Mount this morning. It is a nice long walk, and Mr. Darcy has never seen the view.”
“It may well do very for the others,” replied Mr. Bingley, ironically, enjoying his new role of controlling Darcy’s life, “but I am sure it is too much for Kitty.Won’t it, Kitty?”
“If it is acceptable, Mama, I would rather stay home,” Kitty acknowledged.
Darcy offered,“Mrs. Bennet, Oakham Mount sounds interesting.”
Elizabeth could hardly help laughing at so convenient a proposal, but she silently consented. Mrs. Bennet followed her upstairs with epithets about Darcy, which truly vexed her daughter so by the time she started out, Elizabeth’s temper was aroused. At the fork in the road, the couples parted to find their own way and their own privacy. Darcy and Elizabeth took the steeper pathway, both needing the exercise to relieve the tension.They walked along in silence for a quarter of a mile; finally, Darcy caught her hand to stop her progress. She turned back to look at him, and he held her stare; eventually, Elizabeth chuckled at herself, which made him feel good. Darcy held her there with a look of barely restrained passion.“I know that look,” she teased.
“What look?” he pretended to misunderstand.
Darcy's Passions Page 25
