He’d only meant to quiet her with his mouth.
The taste of her had ignited his blood.
It was the last coherent thought he’d had until, heart racing, he’d collapsed against her and let the washing machine absorb his weight.
At the end of the night he’d shaken it off. Okay, it had happened. Lesson learned. He’d keep his distance in the future.
Right.
It should have helped that she was having the same discussion with herself.
It hadn’t.
Twice more they’d hooked up. The urgency just as strong. The sex just as good. The broken condom should have been deterrent enough to prevent a third session—but, no. He’d just been glad he’d had condoms on him when the mood had struck, because the passion was so overwhelming he couldn’t claim he would have stopped.
Add sleeping with her to his list of violations. He’d taken just as much satisfaction in holding her as she slept as he’d taken in pleasuring her lovely body. The last rule broken. The contentment he’d felt waking with her in his arms had overridden any thought of self-preservation.
He’d always been a rule-breaker, but not about this. The way he’d blown through his own rules should have warned him against asking her to accompany him to New York. Arrogance again. He’d missed her, so he’d thought he could give Mamó what she asked for while seducing Lauren into a vacation fling. A win-win for him.
And now they were to be parents.
He yanked his bag out of the closet and started emptying the drawers into it. With Lauren gone he felt a need to follow her to Hollywood. He stopped packing to text his friend’s pilot and got an immediate response that the plane would be prepped and ready within two hours. His flight set, he tossed in his remaining items and zipped the bag.
To the pit of his soul he detested the need to alter his life for another unexpected pregnancy. Yet the one clear thing he’d taken away from the last two days was the desire to be a part of his children’s lives.
The juxtaposition twisted him up inside. Deep down he knew he had to get past the resentment or he’d poison any relationship he established with Lauren and his kids.
Still he lingered, his thoughts in turmoil.
He dropped down on the bed, dragged Lauren’s pillow from under the covers and buried his nose in the softness. The heady honeysuckle scent went to his head. Through all the uncertainty the one thing he did know was she’d touched him in ways no one else ever had.
“Ray.” Mamó appeared in the bedroom doorway a little winded from her trip up the stairs. She carried something red clutched under her arm.
“Mamó.” He hopped up and led her to the bed to sit.
She patted the bed beside her and he sat too.
“I’m sorry Lauren felt the need to leave early. Such a nice girl. I’m so glad you brought her with you.”
“Yeah, it turned out to be more of a trip than I expected.”
“I apologized to her and now I’ll apologize to you. I’m sorry for my meddling, for letting my emotions get the better of me, for causing you so many problems.”
“You may have caused a few complications. I managed the problems all on my own.” There was a fine truth. In the scheme of things Mamó’s preemptive engagement announcement had turned out to be a minor development. Hard to trump twins.
“I guess I don’t have to tell you my news.”
“Dear boy, I won’t deny I’m pleased.” She patted his knee. “I do regret my gift has been such a trial for you. To this day I mourn the part I played in ending your wedding.”
“Don’t.” He draped an arm around her shoulders, took comfort in the strength of her thin frame. She was tougher than she looked. “None of what happened was your fault. I’m glad I learned the truth. If not for you, I would have married a woman I didn’t love under false circumstances. The marriage would have ended anyway, because the child was the only reason I was with her.”
“And will you propose to Lauren?”
A denial sprang to mind, yet he hesitated. “Truthfully, Mamó, I don’t know how I feel. It’s hard to unwrap the events of today from the events of the past.”
“It shouldn’t be. You were a boy then, just starting out. You’re a man now, well established and successful in your field. Your feelings for Camilla were mild at best, your decisions based on honor and expedience. And she was using you. Your feelings for Lauren are deeper, stronger. She’s successful in her own right. She’s with you because she chooses to be, not because she needs you. You’ll be partners in whatever manner you elect to go forward.”
She made it sound so simple. But she didn’t know the whole truth.
“Lauren came to New York as a favor to me.” He explained the circumstances. “So, you see, we aren’t actually romantically connected.”
“Hmm. I think you’re wrong. And you just proved my point. There was no need for her to help you. You may feel like you’re caught in the same situation, but these women couldn’t be more different. My advice is to stay focused on the present. Don’t let the past cause you any more misery than it already has. Here.”
She held out the red item she’d been carrying and as it unfolded he saw it was the coat he’d given Lauren. The one she’d refused. The one she’d looked so beautiful in when the weather had trumped her stubbornness.
His jaw clenched as he took it. Obstinate woman. He started to hand it back, to demand Mamó donate it to charity as he’d threatened Lauren he would. But he couldn’t. He hated the thought of another woman wearing the coat.
A honk from the street announced the arrival of his taxi.
“There’s your ride. Give me a hug.” She wrapped him in her arms and for a moment he felt like he was ten years old again and she was his whole world.
He kissed her cheek. “You take care of yourself.”
“I’ll be good.” She patted his cheek. “No more feeling sorry for myself. Besides, I have great-grandchildren to look forward to.”
Well, there was an upside to the situation.
He helped her down the stairs, and then he was out the door and on the road.
A short while later he boarded the plane. He tossed his backpack and the red jacket into a seat and dropped down in the leather chair beside it. Soon they were in the air. The six-hour flight stretched ahead of him.
Leaning forward he stabbed his hands into his hair. Heck, he couldn’t stand to spend any more time with himself. If he didn’t find something besides his life to think about, he’d go insane.
“Good afternoon, sir.” The flight attendant appeared. “Would you care for refreshments?”
Ray shook his head. “No thank you, Julie.”
“May I secure these items?” She gestured to the backpack and jacket in the seat next to him.
“Leave them. That will be all for now.”
The woman disappeared and Ray reached for his bag, drew out his camera and laptop. He’d organize his photos and video shots. That should occupy him for a while.
To start he sorted the work into three categories: family and Mamó’s birthday, the siting trip, and others. He soon noticed a commonality in all three. Lauren.
Grr... The point of this was to get away from thoughts of her. He began dropping all the photos of her into a separate file. It didn’t take long to discover the problem with that plan. He lost nearly all his photos. Easily two-thirds of his pictures went into the “Lauren” file.
She’d obviously been a primary target for his lens.
Curious about what had drawn him, he went back and started looking from the beginning.
There were shots of her sleeping on the plane, pale and exhausted. He should have had a clue something was off right then. He called her Dynamite for a reason—because he never saw her going less than full out. She’d given him some excuse
and he’d bought it, chalking her frailness up to pulling off her sister’s big wedding, right during awards season, which would knock out any normal person.
Then came shots of her at the welcome party, surrounded by strangers, yet smiling and poised, all while under the duress of supporting a fake engagement. She really had been a good sport.
He grinned at the less than patient expression on her face in his bedroom as she tried to lay down her new rules. As if they could sleep in any sized bed without touching. He’d taken great delight in letting her break that rule.
Lauren at Mamó’s party, looking elegant and feminine. He wanted to delete the picture of her with the hired dancer. But he left it as penance for the one of her with her head bent, hurt and sadness evident on her face and in her posture. His fault for insulting her matchmaking talents.
Not his best moment.
To make up for it he’d tried to tell Mamó he knew about her admirer before he left. She’d twittered and waved him off, saying she knew all about George’s hot crush. And that someday she might do something about it.
Appalled all over again, he’d turned, looking for Lauren, and immediately realized his mistake.
Damn, he missed her.
Seeing her coat next to him, he curled his hand into a fist on the leather. Then he forced his fingers to loosen the fabric. He’d already sniffed her pillow today, like some lovesick pup. Besides, he could smell the honeysuckle from where he sat.
He wished she were here.
More shots of Lauren—in the hardware store, coming out of the spa, on the streets of New York, at the mayor’s reception, stunning in that blue dress, flying over the city, on the boat to Liberty Island, in the crown... He’d even caught one of her when she’d wrapped herself around that newel post.
The fear on her face was stark. Real. Telling.
He looked into her eyes and adrenaline shot through his body as if he was prepared to defend, to protect, to battle—whatever it took to remove the anguish staring out at him.
Problem was he’d be fighting himself.
Lauren cared about him. It showed in every smile, in every indulgent look, in every censuring grimace—and she’d nailed him a few times—in every sultry glance.
His gaze landed on the one boudoir shot. He grinned, remembering he’d snapped it before she’d realized he held the camera.
She’d beat him back to bed after a steamy shower and sprawled half under the sheet, half on top, so the camera had caught the naked length of her back. Her blond hair was a messy knot on the top of her head, damp tendrils clung to her face and neck, and she looked directly into the camera, anticipating his return.
His blood heated and—
His breath caught.
He leaned forward. Blew up the shot. And stared right into sleepy eyes, molten gold and shimmering with soft emotion.
Love.
He’d missed it at the time—damn camera—but there was no mistaking the intensity of emotion.
Satisfaction and something more filled him up.
Lauren loved him.
The question was what to do about it?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
LAUREN SAT AT her desk, carefully scrutinizing the event schedule, shifting people around, hiring more where necessary. It was the biggest Hollywood awards ceremony of the season, and By Arrangement would be hosting Obsidian Studio’s huge after-party. She expected it to go on way into the next morning.
Usually they wouldn’t attempt two events on such a big day, but a valued customer had called two days ago, requesting they handle a brunch for twenty on the day of the awards. Lauren hadn’t been able to refuse. So she’d shuffled and shifted, authorized overtime, and wrung miracles out of vendors.
When her phone rang she lifted it to her ear, eyes still on the schedule. “This is Lauren.”
“I leave for a week and you run off to New York and get engaged. To Ray. I knew there was more to that fling than you were admitting.”
“Tori!” Lauren hopped up and closed her door. “I didn’t expect to hear from you until you got home.”
“I am back—well, in New York anyway. We’ll be flying home later today.” The second half of her honeymoon she would be attending the awards, and then settling into her new home with Garrett. “And I see I just missed you here. It would have been fun to spend the day together in New York.”
“Honeymoon so boring you need company?”
“Uh, that would be no.” Tori’s merry laughter rang over the line. “France was fabulous. We had dinner at the top of the Eifel Tower the night before we left. It was breathtaking.”
“So is New York from the crown of the Statue of Liberty. You should check it out if you have time.”
“Hmm... So, are you going to tell me about Ray?”
“Oh, Tori. I miss you so much.” Lauren forced a calming breath. “But I’m not going to intrude on your honeymoon.”
“The only way you’re going to do that is if you leave me hanging.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I. Garrett went to the gym for a few minutes. Spill, already.”
Lauren spilled everything. Taking the pregnancy test at Tori’s wedding, Ray’s request to go to New York with him, Mamó’s announcement of their non-existent engagement, falling in love, Ray freaking at the news of the baby—which, hey, turned out was twins.
Tori let her talk, except for shrieking over news of the twins. In the end she went right to the heart of the matter.
“You’ve been through a lot in such a short amount of time. I heard you blow by that mention of love. I know you’re hurt by his distancing himself, but do you love Ray?”
“Yes. No. I do, but—”
“No buts. Yes or no?”
“It’s not that easy,” Lauren protested. “I can’t, Tori. I thought yes once before, and it was an illusion.”
“Love isn’t meant to be easy. I almost lost Garrett because I was afraid to trust him. Afraid to trust myself. I let a piece of my past stop me from seeing beyond the surface. I needed to open my eyes and my heart and take that final step into the present.”
Lauren remembered. Watching her sister suffer and not being able to help had been excruciating. But Lauren’s situation was different.
“You don’t understand. What I feel for Ray is so much more than what I felt for Brad. His reticence does hurt. It makes me worry I’ve given too much of myself away. I can’t be in another relationship where I care more than my partner. If it goes wrong with Ray I’m not sure I could find my way back.”
“Sis, you’re stronger than you think. Brad was able to influence you because you believed you loved him and naturally wanted to please him. You never conceived of someone taking advantage of you in such a way. You’re aware now. You need to trust yourself and trust Ray.”
Lauren paced in front of her desk. “I don’t know if it can work. He’s manipulative and he likes his own way.”
A snort sounded in her ear, and then Tori demanded, “What man doesn’t? Let me ask you this: has he ever coerced you into doing something you didn’t want to do?”
The whole New York trip came to mind. But, to be truthful, he’d accepted her refusal. She’d been the one to change her mind. He always seemed to be making plans she had issues with, but when presented with challenges he adapted well.
“Uh-uh.” Tori finally cut off Lauren’s search for an example. “You told me after we were engaged that you’d seen Garrett and I belonged together.”
“I remember. You obviously cared for him, but I didn’t want to unduly influence you. If you’d continued to be stubborn I probably would have said something eventually.”
“I’m glad to hear you say so. I get the same feeling about you and Ray.”
Lauren froze. “You’re jus
t saying that to get me to act.”
“Maybe, but it’s also true. Don’t dismiss the significance of the bond just because it’s not what you want to hear.”
“He’s back in town,” Lauren volunteered. “Before things blew up between us he asked me to go to the awards show with him.”
He’d called and texted every fifteen minutes for the past hour and a half. Now he wanted to talk. Finally she’d texted back that she was busy with work and she’d contact him on Monday. His response was that he’d leave a ticket for her at Reception.
“Wow. You’ve got to go. It would be perfect if we’re both there, and then we can go to the party after. It’s everything we’ve been working toward.”
“Except for the pre-event work and the estrangement between me and Ray.”
“Yeah, well, you need to get over that. You belong together, Lauren.”
A deep male rumble sounded in the background. Then Tori’s muffled voice.
“Give...minute...talking to Lauren.”
A giggle.
“Always...that thought...shower...”
Then she was back.
“Lauren, think about what I said. Trust yourself, girl. The risk is worth the reward.”
The happiness in her twin’s voice reinforced her claim. She’d given Lauren a lot to think about.
“Hey, don’t worry about me. Go take care of your man.”
“I do believe I will. See you soon. Oh, and Lauren? If you don’t allow yourself to love again, then Brad is still controlling you. And that’s just sad.”
Unsettled by the call, Lauren returned to her desk and the spreadsheet. Mouse in hand, she stared at the screen.
“If you don’t allow yourself to love again, then Brad is still controlling you.”
Tori’s proclamation echoed through Lauren’s mind again and again. The concept of him still having any influence on her raked across her senses like fingernails over a blackboard.
Neither did it sit well with her that he might triumph over Ray in any way. It wasn’t true. Yet that was what Tori’s words implied. Lauren’s blood chilled at the very notion of anyone getting that impression, including her. Especially her.
A Pregnancy, a Party & a Proposal Page 16
