‘Don’t worry, you haven’t even bruised the money maker. All teeth intact and no scratches, though the same can’t be said for your arms,’ he observed, holding out a hand for me to grasp to help pull me back up.
‘You think my face is the money maker? Christ, have you learned nothing from our conversations today,’ I muttered, going light headed as I was hauled back up and swayed on my feet again on the pavement. ‘It’s all about the cock. I’m telling you, you could be ugly as fuck but show women an above average cock, you’ll never go to bed alone.’
‘Seriously, when are you ever going to realise the world doesn’t revolve around sex. It’s not the be all and end all in a relationship,’ he retorted, shaking his head as he grabbed my elbow and steered me past the hole in his perfectly manicured hedge, through the wrought iron gate and up to his front door.
‘If it didn’t revolve around sex, humans would have been extinct thousands of years ago.’ I nodded, confident in my assessment as he leaned me against the porch wall so he could dig out his keys.
‘Ok, I get it, sex is important in a relationship, but so are trust, honesty, friendship and love. You need an equal balance of all of that. Not that you’d know, never having bloody tried one. Is this what you want from life? Fucking a different girl every night, never having someone by your side to love and take care of and have the same in return? You’ll end up in an old people’s home and me and Lisa will be the only ones to come and visit, as you’ll have no relatives left, no wife, kids or grandchildren. Pretty bloody miserable existence.’
‘Like I look that far into the future,’ I scoffed, frowning as his words echoed thoughts that had been plaguing my mind for the last year. Sure, casual sex was awesome, most of the time, but when I saw Lisa and Brady together recently, I was kind of envious of that bond they had.
‘You never look further than the end of your dick,’ Brady chuckled, swinging open the door and nudging me through first. ‘Have you seriously never had sex with one woman you could see yourself liking enough to want to see again?’
I felt my bottom lip pout and my eyebrows knit together as I considered his question. In all honesty I could categorically say no. Except for one. Mandy bloody Roberts. The bride-to-be’s younger sister. Twenty four, gorgeous looking, with a small pert pair of tits and the sexiest pair of legs I’d ever seen in my life. We’d been so drunk at the wedding rehearsal dinner last week, that somehow we’d ended up fucking and it had blown my mind. She was a hellcat in the sack. Usually once I’d had my way I’d get up and leave, or ask them to. Mandy had tried to leave and I’d dragged her back to my bed and fucked her again. Four times, before I fell asleep and woke to find her missing. She had the Holy Grail of pussies. Tight, wet and perfectly formed to fit my cock completely. Shame she had a mouth on her that would make my mother blush. Christ, Mandy had more chops than a butcher. We constantly argued or sniped at each other. She wound me up something chronic, but it had the effect of sending all the blood in my body rushing to my cock every damn time.
‘Thinking of Mandy again,’ Brady chuckled as he shrugged off his jacket and hung it up in the hall.
‘Sod off,’ I slurred, toeing off my leather shoes.
‘I don’t know why you try and deny it. You’re hot for her. I’ve never seen you like that over a woman. Don’t know why you don’t just ask her out.’
‘I’m Roger Cockburn, serial shagger. I don’t do relationships. Mandy’s too young and she’s going to be your sister-in-law. Off limits.’
‘Fine, stay in your denial, but she’s only four years younger than you. If by some miracle you change from being an arsehole to women, which I never see happening, then you’d have my blessing. The four of us are going to spend time together just like we’ve always done. Wouldn’t that make it better? You both know each other pretty well, you have this whole love to hate each other vibe going on. If you stopped fucking around, I wouldn’t have a problem with it and I know Lisa wouldn’t, so long as you treat her respectfully. But it’s a moot point isn’t it, as you’ll never bloody change, so, off limits.’
‘You and Lisa have talked about this?’
‘Of course we have. We both see the chemistry even if you two don’t. Right, I have a big day today, however things work out, I’m going to bed. Do you need help getting up the stairs?’
‘Bed? Think again, Brady Collins. We have serious work to do. Operation turn you into a porn star commences right now,’ I nodded, pouring myself a large glass of whisky from Brady’s decanter. I waved an empty glass at him, but he shook his head with a tight lipped smile. I shouldn’t be having one either, I’d drunk way too much today after the clay pigeon shoot. ‘What self-respecting best man doesn’t give the benefit of his sexual wisdom when it’s in need?’ I knocked back the drink and poured myself another, Brady sighing as it sloshed out over the kitchen worktop. He went to get a cloth to wipe it up. ‘Leave it,’ I ordered. ‘Lesson one starts right now.’ I ambled over to the sofa, plonked my glass down on the coffee table and sprawled back on the leather, one leg on the floor as I ran my hands over my chest. ‘Brady, I need you. Come and fuck me right now,’ I called in a girly voice. Brady’s face was a picture and made me crease up with laughter.
‘What the hell?’ he asked.
‘I’m Lisa, I’m begging you to fuck me on the sofa, but you’ve spotted spilled whisky on the granite countertop. Do you A. Fuck the whisky spill and fuck Lisa, cleaning up both when you’re done. Or do you B. Ignore the offer of hot sofa sex and clean up that spill before it leaves a stain?’ I raised my eyebrows, waiting for a response. If that had been me it would have been option A, plus the bottle of whisky, which I’d have poured over her body and licked off. To hell with the sofa, flooring and granite.
‘That granite’s really expensive,’ Brady frowned, looking from me to it, then back again. ‘It would only take a minute to wipe it up.’
‘O my God!’ I uttered, propping myself up on my elbows. ‘Spontaneity, living dangerously, seizing the opportunity with both hands. Look them up, man. Your woman is lying here, begging for your cock and you’d rather clean up some bloody whisky on your precious granite? No wonder you have sexual problems.’
‘Seriously? We have to do this now? I’ve had a whole day of your pearls of wisdom on sex,’ he groaned.
‘Your bride may leave you at the fucking altar because you’re too much of a pussy in bed to fuck her like a real man. Yes we’re doing this right now, while you still have a chance to rectify this and I already told you, not pearls, bloody meteorites of wisdom. Sit your arse down on the sofa. I’m going to ride you like Black Beauty until I break you in,’ I ordered, pointing my finger to the side of me.
‘Jesus,’ he muttered as he shoved a hand through his hair, taking another look at the whisky pooled on his precious worktop.
‘Now!’ I barked, reaching for his remote. I heard a sigh as he wandered over and sat next to me, while I flicked through his channels and selected some pay per view porn, turning the volume up.
“O Benjie, you’re so big, give it to me hard you bad, bad boy. Inflate that butt plug, you know how I love it when you fill both holes,” came an American accent over the cheesy bom chicka wow wow music.
‘Turn it down, Rog,’ he gasped. ‘I don’t want the neighbours thinking we have some kind of bloody orgy going on in here.’
‘Who cares what the neighbours think? You muffle your sex sounds for fear of offending them? If they don’t like it they can move.’
‘Now I see why you have an ever changing neighbourhood. They’re all pissed off with your crude mouth and sexual grunts.’
‘I don’t grunt,’ I protested, reaching for my whisky and taking another swig. I needed to be drunk. I hated bloody weddings. Brady was going to have even less time to spend with me once Lisa got pregnant. I was going to be left behind with no one but Toady to hang out with. How the hell we’d got lumbered with him in our little clique I’d never know.
‘Please, I was i
n an adjoining hotel room for the stag night last week. Sounded like a herd of ravenous pigs had been let loose in there.’
‘Better than the noises Toady was making in the room next to me. I was trying to drown him out. Right, get ready for mounting.’
‘What?’ Brady laughed. His laughter turned to a face of horror as I unsteadily straddled his lap, grabbing his shoulders.
‘This is called the sitting down cowgirl, where she rides you. We’re going to master some of your basic positions, given all you do is fuck missionary style. No, correction. “Make love” missionary style. I’m amazed she didn’t leave you years ago. Have you ever done it like this before?’
‘No and I’m seriously worried that you think I’m about to.’
‘Trust me, my cock’s programmed to react to pussy.’
‘If I get one hint of a fucking erection I’ll knock you out, before locking myself in my bedroom,’ Brady warned with narrowed eyes. I chuckled and proceeded to take him through some of my favourite positions, with the worst porn I’d ever heard running in the background.
‘Jesus, you’re going to feel ill in the morning,’ he laughed, as he dropped me on the spare guest bed and I sank into the mattress, the room spinning. ‘I’ll bring you a coffee and make us breakfast before we head off.’
‘No news?’ I mumbled, trying to undo the small buttons on my shirt and failing miserably.
‘None,’ he sighed. ‘You’re going to have to sleep fully dressed. Letting you pretend to fuck me in the arse was already crossing a line, no way am I undressing you.’
‘Crappy mate you are,’ I yawned.
‘Remind me why I’ve stuck with you for twenty four bloody years then?’ he asked. I grinned as I squinted up at him. Brady, Toady and me had all met at primary school and stuck together all the way up to when we finished college. Toady went on to get a job, Brady and I went to the same University, him studying law and me architecture. I considered him a brother we were so close.
‘You bloody love me, that’s why. Who else would do the things I did tonight in the name of friendship.’
‘I seriously doubt anyone. I’m the luckiest man in the whole world,’ his sarcastic, with an edge of gratitude, voice replied. ‘Right there’s a glass and jug of water on the bedside table, a bowl down here on the floor with some kitchen towel in case you’re sick and can’t make it to the en-suite. See you in the morning.’
‘Yeah,’ I groaned, wondering why the hell I did this to myself. I was twenty-eight years old, a professional architect running my own firm, not a teenager with no responsibilities. I needed to sort myself out and take life a bit more seriously. Just like Brady and Lisa were. Maybe it was time I thought about giving up bed hopping and getting myself a steady girl. Trouble was none held my interest or had my cock wanting a repeat visit. Except her. Mandy fucking Roberts. Bane of my life. Brady patted my shoulder.
‘See you in the morning, buddy. You know where I am if you need anything.’
‘Got any hot women hiding in the wardrobe?’ I asked with a half-grin.
‘Like you’re in any fit state to do anything,’ he chuckled, closing the door behind him as he left.
‘You’d be surprised,’ I muttered, reaching down to squeeze an erection that had snuck up on me as I’d thought of Mandy and her succulent, tight pussy. Christ what I’d give to dive into that again, cock or face first. I wondered if she’d be her usual obnoxious self tomorrow, or if she’d be on best behaviour, like I’d been warned to be. Given I was the best man and she was the maid of honour, we were going to walk down the aisle together, be sitting next to each other at the top table and we’d have to have a dance as well. The thought of having my hands on her slim body had my fingers reaching for the buttons and zip on my trousers. I chuckled as I popped them automatically. Shirt buttons when you were half-cut was one thing, no guy who fucked or masturbated as often as I did ever had problems undoing trouser buttons. I was an expert, whatever the lighting or my state of sobriety. I groaned as I clasped my shaft in my hand and started to stroke, images of Mandy lying on her back, playing with her beautiful pink and responsive clit as I stood over her and spurted over that toned stomach of hers, spurring me on to one of the fastest climaxes ever. I’d never been with a woman who could come so fast, easily and hard.
Damn her. At this rate I was going to turn into a whipped pussy who wanted a fucking girlfriend.
Maid of Honour
Mandy
I shook my head as Lisa headed off for a shower, after filling me in on the events of last night. I stretched and pulled the duvet back up to my chin as I snuggled back into the sofa I’d slept on, waiting for her last night. I was still in shock. I’d encouraged her to have sex with someone else before making this life changing decision, but I’d not expected her to have sex in a hotel public toilet, go back to the guy’s room and have sex a few more times. Let alone let him do the things he had to her, and her to him in return. Nothing earth shattering in the scheme of sex, but for Lisa it sure was. I was horny as hell. I’d had a quickie last night with Chopin, but it hadn’t sated that deep gnawing itch I had for a really hard fuck. I groaned and pulled the duvet over my head as I thought about the last fantastic sex I’d had. Bloody Roger. And I was going to be stuck with him today. Best man and maid of honour. Why, why, why, couldn’t they have planned the wedding when I was on my period and cranky as hell? When I’d have bitten his head off if he came near me with so much as one of his usual lascivious glances or lewd comments. No, they had to arrange it when I was on heat and the thought of his large cock filling me last week had me wanting to throw him down and ride him the minute we set eyes on each other.
I was roused from my dilemma by Brady calling, saying he needed to see Lisa. It wasn’t like I couldn’t let him up, they had a huge decision to make. I shook off the duvet and quickly pulled on the plush hotel dressing gown, which would be gifted when we checked out. Honestly, they thought of everything. I stood by the doors to the lounge waiting for him and adopted my best intimidating stance, ready to give him a mouthful for causing all of this trouble. When he appeared, my resolve wavered. He looked exhausted and seriously emotional.
‘Brady,’ I nodded.
‘Mandy,’ he replied, neither of us going in for our usual hug and kiss.
‘She’s in the shower. You’d better sort this shit out fast. We’re supposed to be having lunch in an hour or so, then hair and beauty will be arriving, along with the guests,’ I warned.
‘Yes, thank you. I’m well aware of the time constraints and it’s not exactly my choosing that we’re in this situation, is it?’ he replied, giving me back the attitude I’d just given him. So he did have some backbone. Good, he was going to need it if he was going to fight for my sister. She deserved someone who’d fight for her. All women did.
‘O, sorry. I thought you fucking another woman last week was the catalyst,’ I replied, ensuring he got the full brunt of my sarcasm. ‘Stupid me. Of course it’s all Lisa’s fault. How dare she be upset at that and wondering if you’re the kind of guy she wants to spend her life with.’
‘That’s unfair, Mandy,’ he snapped angrily. ‘What we agreed is between us. I feel bad that I upset her, but I didn’t do anything wrong. It was a mutual decision, so you don’t get to take sides here.’
‘Of course I bloody do,’ I hissed. I uncrossed my arms and got up in his face, pointing my accusatory finger at him. ‘You’re just the guy that’s dating my sister. She’s family. I’ll always take her side, no matter what and for the record, it was a stupid fucking idea. You should have known better than to go through with it. Lisa would never have done that to you. You’re a shitty boyfriend.’ I crossed my arms again as I scowled at him. I mean if you were going to have a relationship, do it properly. No fucking around.
‘Eleven years, Mandy. I’ve been with her for eleven years,’ he reminded me, with a crest fallen face. ‘I love her. I’ve never treated her badly, I worship the fucking ground she walks on. You
know that. One mistake doesn’t wipe out a great relationship for all the time leading up to one bad decision,’ he snapped. I sighed and stepped back, hugging myself as his words sank in. He was right, he adored my sister and whatever they’d agreed, or done, was between them.
‘It was a seriously bad fucking decision, Brady. I’m sorry, I’m just tired and upset for my sister. And you as well, I guess. You’re right, you’ve been the perfect boyfriend, the two of you seemed so happy. You were supposed to be my role models, the couple to show me how love could really be. Then I find out everything’s not as perfect as it seemed. I’m thrown, that’s all. I just want her to be happy. You too. Go and fucking sort it out. All this drama is going to have me getting drunk, and you know what happens when I drink too much. I make stupid decisions like fucking the man whore, otherwise known as Rampant Roger. That can’t afford to happen again.’
‘He has nothing but good things to say about you,’ he smiled. What the hell was that supposed to mean, I wondered.
‘Yeah, well tell him to dream on. This rack is out of his price range,’ I replied, giving him my best smile. Like I wanted anyone to know that I had the hots for London’s biggest male slut.
‘I’ll leave you to tell him when you see him later. He’s dropping our gear off in his suite, then no doubt he’ll be propping the bar up until the last possible moment.’
‘Great.’ I rolled my eyes, hoping he didn’t notice that my cheeks had gone pink. Roger would have a field day taking the piss out of me if he thought I was interested in him.
‘Bedroom one?’ Brady asked.
‘Yeah,’ I sighed, wishing I could be a fly on that wall. ‘She has no idea you’re here. She may kill me for letting you in. Actually she may kill you first. Good luck,’ I grinned, patting him quickly on the back. I headed off towards the dining room, Gaston needed to magic up a pot of strong coffee, pronto. If I was going to avoid alcohol today, in my ploy to resist Roger’s imminent chat up lines, coffee it would have to be.
The Domville 3 (The Domville #3) Page 4
