by Joanna Blake
He deserved to know I was okay, even if we weren't going to be together. I'd tell him everything. Just one time though. Never again.
This was going to be the last time I spoke to Kyle Connor.
I dialed his number slowly, already imagining how I would feel after I hung up. Sad. Lonely. Hopeless.
But I was determined to get a fresh start.
I would throw the phone out as I debarked the train.
I started making a mental list to keep myself from getting too nervous. I was going to need a new phone. A job. A place to live. A school to transfer my credits to.
I closed my eyes as the phone started to ring, and prayed.
Chapter Eighteen
Kyle
I shoved my stuff into the duffle bag, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. I'd come in early to collect my gear. Unfortunately for me, Jason was there, meeting with a sports doctor.
So I got to see the smug ass look on his face as I tucked my tail between my legs and ran. He grinned snidely at me, giving me a thumbs up. I gave him the finger.
Fuck him and his trick knee.
Coach was in his office so I walked swiftly past him. He didn't look up. I was relieved not to have yet another scene on my way out. To freedom. To starting over.
To finding my fucking woman.
My phone vibrated against my thigh and I dropped my bag to get it. I knew it was Belinda before I even looked at the screen. It was an unknown number. A new phone then. Great.
"Bellie?"
Silence.
"Hello Kyle."
Her voice sounded strained. Formal.
"Are you okay? Where are you?"
"I'm... far away. I can't come back. Not for a while."
"Okay, so I'll come to you."
Silence.
"I know about the baby, sweetie. I just want to be with you. Both of you."
"No Kyle. I'm just- I'm just calling to say I'm sorry I didn't tell you. And that I'm keeping the baby."
"Good. Tell me where you are."
Belinda spoke in a rush, as if she was afraid she would lose her nerve.
"You don't owe me anything. I don' expect you to help with this, or any money."
She thought- she actually thought I wanted the easy way out? I started to get angry. Really, really angry.
"Exfuckingcuse me? You think I'm walking away from you? From our child? Hell no!"
"I don't want to force you into anything Kyle-"
"Listen to me Princess. That is my child. And you are my woman. There is no way in hell I am not handling my responsibilities."
She sighed. I could almost see the look on her face. She didn't believe me. She thought she was giving me an easy out. I almost broke the phone in my hand I was squeezing it so hard.
"Maybe when the time comes, I can tell you where I am. Just live your life Kyle, this doesn't have to ruin it. I won't be the cause of that."
She was going to hang up. I could feel it. I made a last ditch plea to get her to see reason.
"Bellie... please. I love you! Let me be there for you!"
"Goodbye Kyle."
That was the loudest click of my life.
"BELINDA!"
I had the sudden urge to throw my phone. I wanted to break stuff. I wanted to smash something.
"God dammit!"
I cursed and tried the number again. No answer. I tried again. This time someone answered and hung up immediately.
Real nice Bellie.
I clenched my jaw, heading for my car. If she thought it was going to be that easy, she had another thing coming. I always handled my shit. And this was more important than anything I'd ever done before.
I was coming for her. I was going to search high and fucking low until I had my woman back in my arms. I would never, ever stop trying until I found her.
Hold tight, I'm coming for you baby girl.
Belinda
"This is Marta's Organic Artisanal Cheese Shop..."
We walked past a classy looking shop with gorgeous blocks of cheese that were artfully displayed on thick slabs of wood. I didn't eat cheese, but if I did, I would be inside that place in two shakes.
"And this is Cheese and Olive- also artisanal..."
"How many artisanal cheese places are there?"
Betsy laughed, slinging her arm around my back.
"Loads of them. And wine shops, cafes, boutiques..."
"All organic?"
"Most of them. People here take Mother Earth very seriously."
I squeezed my friend affectionately.
"I can see why you moved here."
I smiled but it faded quickly. I felt terrible. As if I had done something wrong.
"Hey little mama, why so glum?"
"Are you reading my aura?"
Betsy stopped walking, placing her hands on her temples.
"Anything?"
She shook her head solemnly.
"Sadly, I am without psychic abilities."
There had been a few years when Betsy was obsessed with developing her innate psychic abilities. Tarot card reading, auras, water divination, crystals, astral projection. You name it, Betsy studied it.
She'd finally called me one night in tears. She had given yet another faulty tarot card reading. She was a fraud.
I'd talked her down and now we could joke about it. But at fifteen years old, she'd been devastated. She took this stuff very seriously.
"I don't need mind rays to know that it's because of this Adonis of yours."
I sighed.
"I don't want to talk about it."
She nodded wisely.
"Not yet. But you will. And then you won't shut up about it!"
I laughed, shaking my head at her. She was probably right. She grabbed my hand and pulled me down the street.
"Come on, I know just what you need."
"What's that?"
"Pickles!"
"Don't tell me... are they?"
"Yes! Artisanal organic pickles!"
Chapter Nineteen
Kyle
"How you doing man?"
I shook my head, staring at the computer screen. Kenneth's big dopey face filled up nearly the whole thing. I video chatted the guys every couple weeks or so, but they were hard to pin down. This was the first time we'd talked in a long ass time.
"Don't ask. I want to hear about you guys."
Kenneth sat up straight, looking very serious. He saluted.
"Can't tell you, civilian. It's classified."
I threw a ball of paper at the screen.
"Your dick is classified, jackass."
"That's Sergeant Jackass to you."
"No shit!"
"Without you around I guess they had to promote someone."
I laughed. It was good to talk to him. It was the first time I'd laughed in a week.
"How the fuck are you, Thick?"
I shook my head.
"I'm in a world of shit K-Dawg. I need to figure some shit out."
"Money? Girls?"
"Girl. Singular."
"You, Thick? I thought for sure you'd be playing the field."
"No, man. I met someone special. And... I got her pregnant."
"Fucking A man, that sucks."
"No, man. It's good. I'd be fucking psyched if everything wasn't FUBAR."
"What happened?"
"Belinda's amazing. But her old man is pissed and she doesn't want to trap me or some shit so she took off. He's also my coach. He kicked my ass off the team."
"No shit?"
"No shit."
"Wait, she took off with your baby? That's messed up."
I nodded. I was desperate to locate her. To know she was okay.
"I just want to find her. I'm worried about her."
"Man, you have it bad. This girl must be something else to nail down Dr. Thick."
"She is."
Kenneth rocked back in his chair, rubbing his hand over his chin like a super villain from the movies.
&nbs
p; "You know my brother is FBI right?"
I sat back and stared at the screen. I had forgotten about that. I nodded slowly, afraid to get my hopes up.
"I bet he could find her for you Thick."
"Would he do that? He doesn't even know me."
"Fuck that, man! You're family."
I smiled at the screen, my body relaxing for the first time since she disappeared. We were going to find her. It wasn't over.
Everything wasn't going to hell in a handbasket.
"Give me a description of her man."
I gave him a look.
"Are you sure you won't just jack off to it?"
"I can't make any promises, man."
I was laughing as I described Belinda. I told him everything I knew about her. I told him how sweet she was, how kind. But there wasn't much to add. She didn't have any identifying marks. She'd been so isolated, it's not like she had a crew of people she would run to. No ex-boyfriends.
I was her crew dammit.
Me.
When I was done Kenneth was grinning ear to ear. He held up the piece of paper he'd been writing on. He'd sketched a naked lady on the back with hair down to her ass and big boobs.
"A natural redhead? Oh yes, I will be making use of Mr. Hand later on."
"That's my future wife, you sicko."
"Mrs. Thicky to be? Alright then. I'll find someone else to drill."
He tapped his skull. He was very proud of his memory banks. He always wore his helmet outside, even off duty.
Even to take a piss.
"You do that, you perv."
He was about to sign off but I stopped him.
"Thanks K-Dawg. I owe you one."
He grinned.
"And don't you fucking forget it."
Belinda
"This is your room!"
I stood in awe, looking around the enormous bedroom. The ceiling was arched high above my head. Wall to ceiling glass looked out over the woods. Literally, all you could see was green.
"It's beautiful."
"I'm glad you like it. It's my favorite room to do yoga in. Evan made the furniture from wood we found on the property. There are so many types of trees here, but sometimes thinning them out is helpful for the ecology. We were very careful..."
I tuned her out as I took in the room. Intricate woven rugs on the floor. Heavy wooden carved furniture. And a few very large, very colorful pieces of art.
An enormous sculpture hung just outside the window under an eave.
"What's that?"
"It's for the birds."
"It's what?"
"All this glass confuses them, they would fly into it without it. They think it's a hawk or an owl and they steer clear."
She smiled at me.
"Do you know that when we bought this house, we found hundreds of tiny bird skeletons by the windows. It was so sad. So, we had Cynthia build us faux hawks!"
"Cynthia?"
"Evan's ex. She's a metalsmith."
"Of course she is."
I felt like crying suddenly. I was so tired.
"I think I should lie down..."
"Oh wait, you haven't seen the best part."
"What's that?"
"The bathroom!"
I followed her into an adjoining bathroom. It was huge with black and white Moroccan tiles and an egg shaped bathtub under another large window. This one had a smaller faux hawk hanging just outside.
"It's incredible..."
"Just wait, you definitely need to try the egg."
I laughed and nodded.
"Not too hot though, that's not good for the baby."
"Thanks Bets."
Betsy ran the bath and poured in some delicious smelling essential oils and left me alone to relax. Five minutes later I was soaking in a warm slice of heaven.
I closed my eyes and let my mind drift.
As usual, it drifted back to Kyle. No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get him out of my mind. I had so many memories to chose from. Making love with him in his dorm room... the hotel... almost making love in his car...
I stopped fighting it and sank lower in the tub. The water swished against my body, touching me everywhere at once. I tried to imagine Kyle here, with me. It wasn't too hard to think about what he might do.
If he was here, I was pretty sure he'd climb into the tub with me. He'd soap me up, rubbing his rough hands over my nipples. Then he'd bite my neck as he guided me onto his lap. I'd straddle his gorgeous cock, letting it fill me up under the water. He'd lift me and lower me, helping me ride him...
I leaned back in the tub and let my fingers slide up and down my pussy lips. I shivered, even though I wasn't cold. One hand reached up to pinch my nipples as the other delved inside, stroking me like he would have. I took my time, picking up the pace, imagining him flexing his hips as he fucked me from below.
I used two hands now, one diving in and out of my opening while the other strummed quickly over my clit. He always made sure I came, and that was the fastest way. It was so real that I could almost feel him there with me.
Almost...
I pictured his handsome face as the whole world shattered. I shook in the tub as I came, making waves in the bathwater.
I crawled out of the tub and into bed even though it was the middle of the afternoon.
Finally, for the first time in a week, I slept.
Chapter Twenty
Kyle
I took my seat, stretching my legs as far as they could go. It wasn't very far. Flying coach was not fun for big guys like me.
I looked sideways at the woman who sat beside me. My shoulders were definitely in her area. I smiled apologetically.
If I'd been a famous ball player, I'd be in first class. For a moment I tried to imagine that. To transport myself to a more comfortable seat.
Back to reality, Kyle. That was not happening now. If ever.
The only thing that mattered was where I was going. New York. Upstate New York to be exact.
Woodstock.
That's where Bellie was. Her best friend lived there. The second I'd heard the name of the town from Kenneth's brother, all the pieces had fallen into place.
K-Dawg and his brother had come through for me, and then some. They hadn't just given me her general location. They'd given me exact fucking coordinates.
Not Belinda's. She didn't have a phone. They'd gotten the records and tracked the other cell phone she'd dialed. Which turned out to be her best friend's.
Bingo!
Yeah, they were that fucking sneaky.
Apparently, her best friend Betsy Davenport lived in the middle of the woods. The perfect place for an ambush. Not that I was going to attack exactly. Not with actual weapons. But I wasn't going to retreat either.
Belinda was going to deal with me, come hell or high water.
And I was going to deal with her.
All the different ways of doing that entertained me on the flight. There was going to be hell to pay, and I meant to take it in a pound of flesh. I imagined doggie style, missionary, reverse cowboy, scissoring, getting oral, giving oral. I even thought about trying the back door.
I snorted. Like Belinda would go for that. The girl was as pure as the driven snow. Not to mention she was no pushover. The girl knew her own mind. She was not going to just nod meekly and say, 'oh yes big boy, please put it in my butt.'
Then again, I could be very convincing when I wanted to be.
And right now, I wanted in that ass.
I fingered the box in my pocket. She didn't exactly deserve a present after running out on me. But I saw this as a gift for myself. A security measure if you will.
So I wouldn't have to worry about her running again.
I'd bought the one piece of jewelry that was for me as much as for her.
A ring.
Belinda
"Papaya is very good for pregnant women. Have you been constipated?"
"What?"
I glanced at Evan but he see
med unphased by Betsy's frank talk. I, however, was not.
"Um... no?"
"Okay, good. Lots of pregnant women are. I'll just go easy on the coconut oil. Tons of mid-chain-fats."
I watched as she poured chia seeds into the mix. A scoop of raw honey. A banana. An avocado and the avocado pit. I grimaced.
"Betsy... those flavor combinations seem... odd."
Evan made a thumbs up symbol.
"It's gooooodddd."
I shrugged and took the smoothie when Betsy poured it. She handed Evan one as well. Then she sipped a half glass of the leftovers. I tried to pawn mine off on her.
"Do you want mine?"
She shook her finger at me.
"You are the one with a bun in the oven. Drink."
I drank, expecting the worse. I was tempted to pinch my nose. Instead, I was shocked as the flavor hit my taste buds.
Oh my goodness, it was delicious. It was gooood. Just like Evan had said it was.
I drank every single drop.
"Delicious, thank you Bets."
"How do you feel?"
Betsy was staring at me with fascination. So was Evan. He was a woodworker who barely talked. But right now, he was staring at me. They both were.
"When are you gonna puke?"
"What?"
"Are you going to throw up? I have barf bags all over the house just in case."
"Um, no I don't think so."
Bets looked disappointed.
"I thought you had morning sickness. You know, in the morning."
I laughed.
"It doesn't exactly work that way. It sort of, sneaks up on you. Usually when your stomach is empty or you are just hungry."
I held up the glass.
"Thanks to you, I'm not!"
She thought that over and nodded. I could tell she'd been hoping for more drama. She was too funny, so curious about everything that was happening with my body.
I guess pregnancy was kind of weird.
"Oh, well I guess we can run our errands then."
Betsy handed Evan the dirty blender. I hid a smile as he started doing the dishes. Evan was more domesticated than any man I'd ever met. They had their own way of doing things and it seemed to work very well.
