"I thought,” she continued, “since we didn’t share the same bedroom... Well, I... You said we had a marriage of convenience. I thought..."
"Ye thought I was interested in men," he finished.
They were silent for a long moment before Arianna took a few steps closer.
Keldon’s breath caught in his throat. From where she stood, the light from the moon shone through the thin material of her nightdress. He could make out every contour of her body, every lush curve, every place he would like to put his hands on. If this were her way to test his manhood, she would soon find out how attracted he was to a woman.
He swore beneath his breath, annoyed how his body betrayed him. He must rebuild the wall and keep her out. He had to remember the conniving, cold and bitter woman who destroyed everything in her wake.
He squeezed his eyes shut. God help him.
"Did we ever..."
She kept stumbling over the words and he could imagine the blush deepening the color of her face.
"Did we ever sleep together?"
He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter. Maybe she really didn't remember how it was between them. "Annabelle..."
"Arianna," she said with exasperation.
He couldn't understand why she kept insisting she wasn’t Annabelle. How much simpler this would all be if she wasn’t. "Arianna," he said, patronizing her. "What we had before... Weel, it was nothin’ passionate.”
"We never loved each other," she stated not asked.
He thought he detected disappointment in her voice, but he wasn’t sure. If he could see her face, judge her expression… He shook his head. He could light a candle but the shadows were easier to hide from the truth.
“Keldon?”
"Ye never loved anyone, except yerself.”
"Do you always have to hurt me?” Her voice quivered, but he chose to ignore it as he mocked her.
"Do ye want me to speak the truth or no’?”
"I guess, I do.”
She fell silent again and he wondered for the hundredth time what she wanted. She seemed determined to tell him.
“Keldon, I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want to be at odds with you.” She moved closer still and now he could see her lovely face. Her blue eyes brimmed with tears. “Is it possible we could start over? Is it too late?" she implored, her lower lip trembling.
Start over? Did he hear her correctly? Years ago, he would have welcomed the chance, but now there were too many hurts and too many betrayals. No matter how much he wanted her, he wouldn’t allow himself to believe she offered a fresh start. "It's too late for that. Ye made these arrangements. I offered my heart to ye in the palm of my hand. Ye took it and squashed it like a wee bug, without compassion, without remorse. As far as I'm concerned, I like our arrangement just the way it is.” There he had said the hateful words, but in his heart he wanted to draw her near, hold her and tell her he wanted nothing more than to love her. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop those words from escaping his lips.
Arianna heard the bitterness spill over into his voice and knew in her past she’d hurt him deeply. His animosity left her weak and vulnerable. She shouldn’t be surprised that she destroyed their relationship. Now everything made sense. The way he’d distanced himself from her. The reason he had his own room. He only tolerated her. He didn’t love her and it was her fault.
Her voice caught, as she tried to apologize. "I'm so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Then she turned and quietly walked out of the room.
The unbearable silence that followed her retreat weighed heavy on Keldon’s shoulders and he didn’t understand why. He’d clawed his way through his wife’s thick skin and finally hurt her. So why wasn’t a silken cocoon of euphoria wrapped around him instead of this self-doubt and bitterness?
He poured himself another dram. He was about to quench his insatiable thirst, when he heard the front door open and close. Who left? He strode to the window to investigate.
His wife’s glorious pale hair stood out like a moonbeam in the surrounding darkness.
"Where in the devil does she think she's goin' and her no’ even dressed? Does the woman have no sense to even put on decent clothes before she leaves the house?” As he tried to speculate where she might head, his imagination went wild. She was meeting someone. Anger singed the corners of his control and he slammed down his glass.
He bolted out of the study and swung open the front door. Hurrying, he made his way to the stables. He peeked inside careful not to make a sound.
She hastened to saddle her mount and he knew he’d been right. He clenched his fists. She was meeting someone and he’d soon find out with whom. He hid in the shadows as she made her departure. He gave her only seconds before he mounted his horse, not bothering with a saddle for fear he would lose her.
He followed at a safe distance. Then he realized she rode in circles never going far from the house.
She finally halted her horse at the gardens and dismounted. Keldon did the same and crept close enough so he could see what she was doing.
He waited. Any moment the man she was meeting would appear. He balled his hands into a fist. “I’ll kill him.” He pushed the reasons why he cared to the back of his mind. He wasn’t jealous. He was… It didn’t matter. He would not tolerate her carrying on an affair under his very nose. No husband would.
But ye said ye dinnae want her.
Damn his conscious for pointing out the obvious.
After ten agonizing minutes, he realized she wasn't meeting anyone. He felt foolish lurking in the shadows like a spy.
Arianna sat down on the ground with her knees curled up to her chest. He was baffled over her odd behavior. Why was she out here, if she wasn't going to meet someone?
She answered his question in her next breath. She knelt and raised her hands skyward. "Dear Lord, help me.” Her voice choked with a sob. “I'm so lost. I’m afraid, I’m afraid...” She kept her hands outstretched, waiting for what seemed to be an answer to her prayer. When none came, she lowered her hands and her shoulders slumped in defeat.
Her cry for help pulled at Keldon's conscience, making him feel ashamed. He had been relentless with his cruelty. He had convinced himself she deserved what he gave her. He’d paid her back for all the heartache she’d caused him. Now he felt mortified over the callous words he had thrown at her.
He shook his head. He couldn’t take the words back and he knew he couldn’t go to her and tell her he was wrong. It was better to leave matters the way they were.
He intruded on her privacy long enough and turned to leave. Preoccupied with his thoughts, he wasn’t watching where he stepped. The snap of the twig sent a deafening echo into the once silent night.
Arianna was on her feet at once with a quick intake of breath. "Who's there?"
He could hear the shiver of panic in her voice. As much as he didn't want to reveal himself, he knew he had no other choice.
"It is only I, Annabelle.” Keldon moved into view.
Immediately a flood of relief crossed her face before the questioning quirk of her eyebrows rose high on her brow. "Did you follow me?”
"Aye.”
"Why?"
He didn't want to tell her for fear she’d think him a jealous fool. He repeated the thought. Was he jealous? If this were true, wouldn’t it mean he still cared for her? He cleared his throat and tried to shrug off the disturbing notion. "I wanted to make sure ye were all right. Now that I have seen that ye are, I'll leave ye to yer solitude.” Anxious to be as far away from her as possible, he turned away.
Arianna stood there for only seconds before her brain registered what he had said to her. He had been worried about her, worried enough that he came after her. Surely this meant he still cared. "Please, wait!” She ran after him.
Keldon froze.
Half in anticipation, half-in dread, Arianna watched a he slowly turned around to face her. They stood staring at each other while silence loomed between them. A breeze
blew a strand of her hair across her face. She went to brush it away, but Keldon reached out and gently twirled the silky softness around his fingers. She stood still, barely taking a breath for fear he would pull away. It was such a gentle touch. The most intimate caress she’d received from this man, who was supposed to be her husband.
Her gaze snared with his and her pulse flickered and leaped at the way his eyes blazed with unspoken desire, but then he lowered his lids. His hand slipped away, but she couldn’t let him walk away. Her hand snaked out in a desperate plea. He didn’t struggle to pull free, but looked at her once more. She lowered her lips to his palm, kissing his flesh with sweet tenderness. "I'm so sorry for all the pain I have ever caused you. Please forgive me,” she implored him, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I promise you to my dying day, I'll never hurt you, again.”
She saw the flash of indecision on his face. She couldn’t blame him for his mistrust. He told her she’d thrown their love away. She couldn’t remember doing it. She couldn’t remember her life before the bump on her head and maybe it was a blessing in disguise. She was able to see him clearly now without the prejudices, which must have forged her decision to cast him aside. She cared and respected this man. It didn’t matter he was a pirate. She didn’t believe the rumors about the Scotsman. There was more to the story and she would find the underlying cause of him venturing out to sea.
What she couldn’t ignore was her heart. She was in love with him. She knew they belonged together and he was here before her. Not all could be lost.
She took a step closer, until she rested her head against the corded muscles of his chest. She breathed in the spicy masculine scent of him as she wrapped her arms around him, praying he wouldn’t push her away.
Keldon could barely breathe. Such pleading, such heartfelt sincerity he had seen in her luminous blue eyes. Keldon wanted to believe her, but he couldn’t brush aside years of hurt with a few idle promises.
He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to rid himself of his desire for her, but it was of no use. He could feel the swooping pull at his innards, his heart’s erratic pounding.
He wanted her.
He needed her.
His arms encircled around her, feeling her body melt against his. He could smell the flowery scent of her hair and the softness of her warm body. She lifted her head to look into his eyes and her rosy full lips parted in invitation. He told himself he would only kiss her once, and it would end his tormented desire.
Fool. He had already gone down this road before and it had cost him dearly and yet he didn’t heed his own warning as passion overrode caution. His mouth all but consumed hers in a rush of frantic kisses. His hands locked against her spine, molding her to the contours of his body. She trembled and clung to him. He was like a man who’d gone without water too long. He needed more of her. He parted her lips, touching his tongue to hers, losing himself in the silky warmth of her mouth while waves of pleasure poured through him quenching his thirst.
His heart pounded against his chest, a beat strong, thick and unrelenting. His breath caught as desire so intense it felt like pain engulfed him. He dragged his mouth from hers, inhaling deeply. He gazed into her eyes recognizing the passion mirrored there. Fresh urgency plowed through him, forcing him to take this moment for all it was worth—before the binding thread of yearning disappeared. They needed to go back to the house… Now. It nearly killed him to break their embrace.
"Don't go," she said, not hiding the desperation in her plea.
In one forward motion, he drew her to him, showering her with reassuring kisses. "I was only goin’ to retrieve the horses.” His deep voice was raw with emotion.
"No.”
He cupped her face and looked down at her. “I thought—”
"Here, in the open with all of nature around us, just you and me, no past to harbor our intentions."
He gave her a quick nod, knowing exactly how she felt. They wove a spell around them and to go back to the house threatened the enchantment. He stepped away from her, only to remove his coat and lay it on the ground.
She sat down on her knees and looked up at him. With her outstretched hand, she beckoned him to join her. He took her invitation and knelt down in front of her. This was all so new to him and he was afraid to proceed. Never had Annabelle displayed any interest in him touching her. From the beginning, she cringed at the thought of their coupling.
Her brow furrowed and she licked her lips nervously. She truly didn’t understand his hesitation, the look of uncertainty, he was sure, lurked in his gaze. She rested her hand on his arm—a gentle touch—an invitation that sent the blood surging down to his groin. He looked into her eyes, recognizing the same smoldering desire.
“Touch me Keldon.” She moved closer, running her hands over his broad chest before she unbuttoned her nightgown and slipped it over her head.
He drank in her beauty as his hands traced a path over her skin, exploring her waist, her hips. A shiver of anticipation ran down his spine.
"I want you," she told him, her voice thick with emotion.
He never dreamed he’d hear her say those words. He wanted to take things slow, savor every moment, but he feared the heat between his legs threatened to take over. Trembling, he touched her breast, his fingers massaging until her nipple puckered. He lowered his mouth, tasting her sweet scented flesh.
She slid her fingers through his hair, urging him to continue.
He moved to her other breast and gave it equal consideration, his wet mouth closing over the peak. He lowered her to the ground. He cradled her in his right arm, while he gently ran his other hand down the length of her slim body. He lingered on the soft curls that kept her womanhood from view. He parted her legs, but she put her hand on his to stop him. He looked at her and saw tears pooling in her eyes. He didn’t understand what he’d done. “Do ye want me to stop?” He held his breath, fearing her response.
She shook her head and inhaled deeply trying to compose herself. “No… No, I… I’m scared.” Her gaze touched his. “I’m afraid, I’ll disappoint you. I don’t remember how we were together.”
Keldon swallowed the lump in his throat and caressed her cheek. “Ye need no’ worry,” he assured her. Then he convinced her with his burning kisses. Soon he felt her fears ebb away as she relaxed, leaving only craving hunger. “Let me love ye.” His fingers feathered down her stomach, waiting for her to give him permission.
She nodded against his chest, this time letting him touch the tender flesh. He held her as his fingertips drove her to new heights of passion. He could feel her heart pounding as she clutched his arm, her body readying to receive him.
She reached up and her lips flickered over his, encouraging him. He removed his garments and took her in his arms again, flesh to flesh. He breathed warm soothing kisses down her neck. “Ye are all I have ever wanted.” He lifted his head to look at her. “I have waited so long to be with ye in this way.” Her brow furrowed with confusion and he knew she didn’t remember how they had been together. How she recoiled from his touch. He prayed she never would again. “Doonae fret, we are startin’ over this night.” He kissed every inch of her, biding his time until he could fill her completely.
Arianna didn’t know how much longer she could wait to make their union complete. Everywhere he touched her felt like an electrical current racing through her skin. His tongue tantalized her until she thought she’d die from his caress. She needed him to satisfy the hunger growing deep inside her. She slid the palms of her hands up the side of his chest, as she rubbed her hips suggestively against him. “Please,” was all she was capable of saying, but Keldon knew what she wanted; he wanted it as much as she did. He lifted her hips and she clasped her legs around his waist as he plunged into her depths. A bolt of fire lanced through her, but his mouth covered hers, drowning out her gasp. As quickly as the sharp pain had hit her, it was gone. She relaxed surrendering completely, eagerly meeting each of his intimate embraces. His emotions ran free, as her
passion equaled his own. He took all she had to give and silently demanded she give more. Struggling for breath, a slow throb pulsed through her body.
"Arianna!" Keldon cried out as the tremors moved along his manhood in tiny convulsive jerks. She held on tight to him as her body followed suit.
She pressed a kiss at the pulse of his neck and he pulled her toward him so she lay tucked against his side. She shifted in his arms and looked up at him seeing the future so clearly. She was truly his. “Keldon, do you realize you called me Arianna.”
“Aye.” The tenderness in his gaze shattered them both. He leaned over and crushed his mouth to hers. She felt him harden against her and she nudged her hips forward.
This time they took their time to explore, to arouse and give each other pleasure.
Later, they watched the sunrise over the horizon as a new day was born. For the first time, Arianna felt she actually belonged.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Keldon led Arianna's horse by the reins so she could ride with him. They both craved the closeness they’d shared last night.
When they reached the stables, Keldon dismounted first to help Arianna down. He held onto her longer than deemed necessary, but she didn't seem to mind the intimacy. He traced her face with his finger, memorizing every detail of her features. Then he leaned down and kissed her.
He’d been married to her for five years and yet last night he felt like it was the first time. As he deepened the caress, he remembered the way he made love to her, the way she responded to his every touch. She had given herself to him without reserve and he hoped she would let what was simmering between them grow into something more. Just thinking about how she felt in his arms made the stirrings of want begin again. However, he had pressing business he needed to take care of today. He affectionately kissed the tip of Arianna’s nose before he let her go.
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