Hester
First Lady teeh tum-ay wee Kazo oromakeum!
Hester/Canary
Hahahahahahahahaha!
Canary
She dont got all the luck.
Hester
More luck than me.
Canary
Look—
Hester
May she rot—
Canary
Its a present.
Hester
—in the deepest pit for what she done to me and mine.
Canary
Lookie—
Hester
Not until my Boy comes home. Im not a true mother otherwise. When he comes home then maybe I’ll forgive her but not before.
Canary
Look.
Hester
What.
Canary
Meat.
Hester
Fresh meat.
Canary
It was on yr doorstep.
Hester
On my doorstep?
Canary
Just sitting there. A present.
Hester
Its good meat.
Canary
Put it away so the flies wont get it.
Hester
It could be poison.
Canary
Put it away and tomorrow cook it up and invite me over. Go On.
(Rest)
No one would wanna kill you. We need you too much. Like me, you perform one of those disrespectable but most necessary services.
Hester
Me in my bloody apron. You in yr yellow dress.
Canary
You like it? Its new. Im getting shoes to go with it.
Hester
It makes you look like a whore.
Canary
I am a whore.
Hester
Yr a kept woman.
Canary
Im a whore. Yr an abortionist Im a whore.
Hester
Cheers.
(Rest)
If Im lucky by the end of next year I’ll have paid enough for me and Boy to have a reunion picnic. Thatll take 500 coins.
Canary
One gold piece. Thats a lot.
Hester
I’ll make it, yll see
(Rest)
Who knows what he looks like now. Hes alive. Freedom Fund assures me of that. All growd up, thats for sure. And tall. And a beard. And a deep voice. And a smile in his eye like his dad had and—
Canary
Handsome.
Hester
If he takes after his dad hes good looking but dont you go getting any ideas. Hes a good boy and when I finally buy his freedom he’ll be looking for a wife. He wont want the likes of you.
Canary
The Mayor owns my exclusive rights so I wouldnt have no time for a poor man even if he was handsome. Although poor men got a beauty to them. But nope. The son of an abortionist. I’d turn my nose up.
Hester
Whore.
Canary
Babykiller.
They sing “Working Womans Song”:
Hester and Canary
Its not that we love
What we do
But we do it
We look at the day
We just gotta get through it.
We dig our ditch with no complaining
Work in hot sun, or even when its raining
And when the long day finally comes to an end
We’ll say:
“Here is a woman
Who does all she can.”
Canary
So there I was —
Hester
A letter came from Boy today. Its right here. Read it to me?
Canary
In a minute. Thisll make you smile. Its at her expense.
Hester
Go on.
Canary
There I was in his bed. I was in his bed and he was on top of me and we was going at it, right? And we was screaming and carrying on like we always do. At first we used to be so quiet out of respect for her—
Hester
The Bitch—
Canary
Exactly. But now she aint given Hizzoner an heir or heiress neither so what does he owe her, right? So we scream and carry on when we go at it. And for some reason she walks right into the room. And the Mayor and me is making so much noise that neither of us hear her. And she is standing right beside the bed and, you know I got my eyes open I always do it with my eyes open cause I like to watch him enjoy, and there she is standing there. Watching. And I look at her. And Hizzoner sees me looking at something and he turns his head, without a break in his screwing stride, right, he turns his head and looks at her. Just stares at her and keeps on screwing me. And they looked at each other like that. It was some kind of standoff. Him screwing me and staring at her and her staring at him and me looking back and forth from his face to her face. Then she bursts into tears and runs out of the room.
Hester
Serves her right.
Canary
Shes the only woman in the whole country who cant seem to get knocked up. Ordinarily I’d feel sorry for a woman in her position but—All that time she spent in Europe. All those doctors she seen. The mounds of drugs she takes. Nothing works. Every month falltima Ovo ella greek Tragedy woah-ya.
Hester
When she was a little Rich Girl she thought she owned the world. And anything she wanted she could buy. Sent my son away to prison with a flick of her little Rich Girl finger. She cant buy a son or a daughter now but I can buy mine. Im buying mine back.
(Rest)
Read the letter.
Canary
The Mayor says hes going to bump her off. Bump her off and keep her money.
Hester
Her just desserts.
Canary
Then he’ll marry me he says.
Hester
You love him?
Canary
No. But he buys me anything I want.
(Rest)
Yll still be my best friend dont worry. I’ll still come around.
Even though you stink.
Hester
Only when a customer is on her way.
Canary
Then one must be coming.
Hester
Hmm. The only thing worse than a branded A is a stinking weeping one.
Canary
Im used to it.
Hesters old wound, the large branded A above her left breast, weeps as a fresh wound would.
Hester
The A looks so fresh, like they branded me just yesterday.
(Rest)
I’ll put on my apron. She’ll be here in a minute. You better go.
Hester readies for work.
Canary
Canary
Canary
(Rest)
Canary
You helped me out years ago. You didnt even know me.
I couldnt afford die Abah-nazip. You said I could pay you back whenever.
Hester
And Im getting my fee plus the interest. Im a good business woman.
Canary
Yr a good friend.
Hester
Dont overdo it.
Canary
Here. My debt and then some.
Canary gives her a gold coin.
Hester
A gold coin.
Canary
Enough for that picnic.
Hester
I’ll see him this week! Canary!
Canary
Dont hug me too hard. Oh dry yr eyes, Im feeling stupid.
Hester
Thank you.
Canary
Customers not here yet. Howabout I read a little.
Canary gets the letter, opens it, and reads it to Hester as the lights fade.
Canary
“Dear Mother. How are you? I am fine. I am doing my very best to be a good son but it is difficult to be good when surrounded by so muc
h bad. I got two weeks time in the hold last month. No sunlight no food only water. I would tell you why I got the time but what I did was bad. But I did it to a bad person, so that aint so bad is it? . . .”
SCENE 2
The Mayor and the First Lady in the middle of a conversation.
First Lady
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Papameh! Falltimeh ma-Ovo!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Mayor
Scream cry rant rave threaten me curse me denounce me place blame gimmie the finger thumb yr nose tear yr hair out tear my hair out kick the dog kick the servants have some of the poor bumped off yell weep sob moan blubber stomp yr feet curse the gods tell yr father but remind him that not only do I have the army behind me but I answer to the people. I must answer to the people. And those people elected me to lead. And those people elected me to lead for the rest of my life and when they elected me they expected me to produce a son and they elected and expected that son to lead for the rest of his life and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on and —
First Lady
My father will—
Mayor
Your father will nothing. He finds your inability disgraceful.
First Lady
Im yr wife.
Mayor
And Im the Mayor. The people look up to me. They look up to me and they see my right hand dangling. Where I should be holding the hand of my son, or perhaps have my arm resting proudly on the young mans shoulder my right hand is only dangling. Empty. And they see it. And they begin to wonder what kind of man I am. I promised them a greatness that would last a hundred-thousand years but my right hand is dangling empty, Woman.
First Lady
Ive tried. I went to Europe. Saw all those doctors. All of them poking at me. All of them overcharging me because they all knew I was foreign. All the pills they gave me. Suitcases full. And I take them. I take them every day. Ive tried.
Mayor
Yr trying is trying the patience of the people. I cant make any more excuses for you.
First Lady
But you could spend more time with me. Meh Kazo-say greengrass ee-sunny skies ee—
Mayor
And ineffective.
(Rest)
Ive been thoroughly examined. Theres no question as to my effectiveness. I must say I was proud when, after an initially embarrassing moment, the mock-sexual experience into the paper cup (dont kid yrself I didnt think of you while I was at it). How embarrassing it all was. But then to see, under the microscope, all those little men swimming. An army! My own little private army!
The Mayor sings “My Little Army”:
Mayor
Loyalty is the most important thing in an army
And my men have loyalty to me.
They will lay down their lives
So our state will survive.
I find that kind of courage very charming.
I salute the men of my
Little army.
Mayor
The people see your inability as a kind of treason.
First Lady
We’re not at war.
Mayor
But we could be. One day.
First Lady
We are a small town in a small country in the middle of nowhere. Small towns in small countries dont go to war.
Mayor
That kind of thinking is the kind of thinking that keeps us back. Born with a silver spoon in yr mouth never had to work so its no wonder you dont produce.
(Rest)
Yr a disgrace to the nation. Everyone agrees. I should remove you from our townhouse and put you in our country house.
First Lady
Send me to the country house and when everyones forgotten me, yll have one of yr flunkies slit my throat.
Mayor
The people think a rest in the country may help you. Yll have a few days to pack yr things. My hands are tied. Im sorry. Wheres my basket?
First Lady
Right there.
(Rest)
Where are you going?
Mayor
My weekly errands. The Mayor rubs shoulders with the people. After all these years they still like it.
First Lady
One more shot. Please. Just one more.
Mayor
I have errands.
First Lady
Please.
(Rest)
Think of the nation.
First Lady
Mayor
Mayor
Fine.
First Lady
Mayor
Mayor
Come on, lets get going.
She begins to kiss and seduce him.
She is more passionate than he.
SCENE 3
Hester at the Freedom Fund. She states her case to the Freedom Fund Lady.
Freedom Fund
His files here somewhere. Not to worry. We never lose anything. Of course you could just make a payment get a receipt and I could enter it all into his file at a later time.
Hester
I dont mind waiting. Todays special. Im paying extra.
Freedom Fund
Paying extra! Wonderful. “Freedom Aint Free!” Glad you understand our motto, Mrs. Smith.
(Rest)
Now lets see. Last name Smith first name Boy. BoySmith BoySmith BoySmith. Its in here somewhere.
(Rest)
Look at yr A.
(Rest)
Yr an Abortionist.
Hester
Obviously.
Freedom Fund
Whats it like?
Hester
Hard.
Freedom Fund
“Someones gotta empty the toilet!” so they say. Mrs. Smith, Abortionist. Working hard at what you do. Yr distressing occupation. Ive never had a need of yr services, but I did have a friend once who came to you. The public clinic had a looong wait list—yr quick and you do the job for half the price. Said you were very thorough. And that yr the most discreet woman in the country. Thats something.
(Rest)
You know there are lots of women coming through this place in need of die Abah-nazip. They got a man in jail or a deadbeat lover or no money for another kid. Some women, Mrs. Smith, lemmie tell you, tee-tee kop fuh Binah Zoo.
Hester
Hee la Mau Chungwoah nice-like.
Freedom Fund
Hi! Hi! Hi-Chungwoah! Teeh Kazohi-woah-ya tutti may Baza.
Hester
Woah-ya dahteh.
Freedom Fund
But what can you do? And them cleaning up their act would put you out of yr cleaning business.
(Rest)
What did you do before you started—doing what yr doing now?
Hester
Scrubbed floors for the Rich Family but then Boy stole from them and they came down extra extra hard on me. It was either prison or—
Freedom Fund
And a mother cant buy her sons freedom in prison. You chose employment, Mrs. Smith. Youve got initiative. Thats good.
Hester
Thank you.
Freedom Fund finally finds the file.
Freedom Fund
Well. Boy Smith. Here he is! Youve been making steady payments. Thats admirable. A prisoner can sense when his family is making steady payments. It gives them hope. How much ya paying today?
Hester
A gold coin.
Freedom Fund
A gold coin! Hand it here! Gold!
Hester
I look forward to picnicing with my Boy this week.
Freedom Fund
Not so fast! Not so fast!
(Rest)
First lets log this in the book and put it in the bank. Gold. And of course log it in his file. Now lets see where it puts you! Yr a hard-working mother Mrs. Smith.
Hester
I am.
Freedom Fund
Oh dear.
(Rest)
Hes committed a few crimes since yr l
ast payment.
Hester
Must be a mistake. Hes a very good boy
Freedom Fund
Of course he is. Its just that. Well, yr good boys been doing some very bad things lately.
Hester
When we have our picnic I’ll tell him—
Freedom Fund
Picnic. Picnic. Picnic. Yr son wont be up for a picnic any time soon. His picnic price has doubled.
Hester
Doubled?
Freedom Fund
Im sorry.
Hester
If only that Rich Little Bitch hadnt told on him! We worked for them. They treated us worse than animals. He was only hungry! He stole some meat and she seen him and he seen her seeing him and begged her not to tell, one child to another, but she told. Went and snitched on my Boy and they took him away.
(Rest)
His price couldnt of doubled, maam.
Freedom Fund
Im sorry.
Hester
Its all that Rich Girls fault.
Freedom Fund
You cant blame her for his current incarceration. His initial three year sentence has doubled and trippled and quadrupled and—since hes been in jail hes committed several crimes.
Hester
He tells me everything. Those crimes are frame-ups every one of them.
Freedom Fund
Hes a hardened criminal, Mrs. Smith.
Hester
My sons an angel.
Freedom Fund
Angels fall.
Hester
No.
(Rest)
Ive just miscalculated his picnic price is all. Silly me.
(Rest)
Hes a good boy, maam. A very good boy.
Hester leaves.
SCENE 4
A park bench in the middle of nowhere overlooking the sea. Monster just sits there.
After a moment Canary Mary comes by.
The Red Letter Plays Page 8
