Shaun continued, unaware of the effect she was having on him. “This whole thing is already crazy enough as it is. The only thing that would make it even crazier is if you and I were having sex.”
Adam blushed softly, but still held eye contact with her confidently. “So you’ve thought about having sex with me?”
Shaun opened her mouth to immediately deny it, but found herself hesitant to lie to him at that moment. “I think about having sex with a lot of people.” When his eyebrows shot up at her answer, Shaun immediately regretted saying it. “That’s not what I meant.” She could see the way Adam’s eyes were changing into something a little less playful and a little more serious, struggling to find a way to change the subject. “So… how ‘bout those Yankees, huh?” She went with the most tired cliché of them all.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” he asked.
“No. We’re not doing this.”
“Not doing what?”
“This. We’re not going to have the ‘do you masturbate’ conversation.”
Adam paused. “How did you know I was going to ask that?”
“Because that’s what every guy eventually asks me when they find out I’m a virgin.”
“Do you think it freaks them out?”
“That I’m a virgin?”
“Yeah.”
“Probably. As easy as most girls are these days I think hearing the word virgin immediately gives men the assumption that I’m waiting for a ring or something.”
“Aren’t you?”
“No. I’m not really religious. I was big in high school which is where 50% of girls lose their virginity anyway because they’re too silly to know that they desire something better. Now that I’m older I’m smart enough to know not to sleep with some guy just to get him to like me… I want to have sex but I want it to be with someone who’s nice, funny and totally respects me. I want to care about the guy. Most of them aren’t willing to do the work of getting to know a woman and why would they? Sex has lost its value because guys can get it anywhere, anytime, so…”
Adam took in her words, fighting not to smile. “Do you masturbate?”
Shaun threw her head back and laughed. “Oh my god,” she beamed, looking back to him. “Do you masturbate?” she fired back.
“All the time.”
“Why would a guy like you need to masturbate? You can have any woman you want. You are very talented after all…”
“Not necessarily.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means what it means. Not necessarily.”
“I just left an arena that was wall to wall with thousands of young girls who would drop trous’ for you the second you gave the word. So… don’t try it with me.”
Adam laughed. “Don’t try what? What am I trying?”
“That ‘oh I’m such a misunderstood rock star’,” she said in a pseudo deep, artist voice. “‘I’m so sensitive and sincere, nobody understands me’.”
Adam laughed softly at her imitation.
Shaun went back to normal. “I know your game.”
He pretended to nod in agreement. “Uh huh. You still haven’t answered my question, though.”
“What question?”
“Do you masturbate?”
Shaun threw her hands up and let them land in her lap with a plop. “Sometimes. Now you have to answer my question. Are you really as talented as they say?”
Adam didn’t want to disrespect Shaun in any way, which was why he’d been trying to walk a fine line during this entire conversation. But she seemed adamant to have it and just looking at her was making him harder than he’d been in a long time… so he humored her. “There’s nothing in the world sweeter than the taste of a woman.”
Shaun swallowed thickly, struggling to ignore the violent throbbing coursing through her body and straight to her center.
“Does that answer your question?”
She could only nod in response.
“You haven’t even done that with another person have you?”
“Nope. Nothing. Haven’t found the right guy.”
“And you’re not waiting for marriage?”
“No.”
“Just a guy who’s nice to you… and funny?”
Shaun laughed. “Yeah, I think that’s what I said.”
“You gotta raise your standards a little.”
“What’s wrong with my standards?!”
“You’re asking for the bare minimum. A girl like you should have requirements for everything. Six pack, big arms, bigger wallet. Expand your horizons.”
“I don’t care about any of that stuff.”
“So you’d let me go down on you if I offered?”
Shaun’s eyes widened, but moisture immediately rushed to her center all at the same time. It was the first time in her life that she didn’t hate every second of a conversation that involved her virginity. She actually wanted to talk to Adam about this, but at the same time she didn’t. It was a very odd feeling of being torn in two. “Where did that come from?”
“Let’s see, I’m nice...” Adam started.
Shaun smiled softly, but had to nod her head in agreement.
“I’m funny…” he continued.
“Meh…” Shaun tilted her head from side to side with a squint, and then died laughing at the offended look on his face.
“I’m funny,” he concluded seriously, as if her opinion held no weight here. “I make you laugh all the time.”
“You do.” Shaun had to agree.
“I totally respect you. I think you’re a fucking badass and I tell you that all the time.”
Shaun looked at him and let her eyes linger. Where was he going with this?
“So according to you I guess that makes me qualified to, at the very least, go down on you.”
Shaun didn’t know what to say.
“I know what I’m doing… if that’s what’s making you hesitate.”
Shaun covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her sudden laughter.
“I got a lot of practice.” He took in her face, which was almost changing color in her laughter. “I like doing it. I’m a fucking ninja.”
“Oh, really? A pussy eating ninja.”
“Did you just say pussy?” he asked, trying to keep his voice down. “God damn. I think that’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Sexy? Not adorable?”
“Definitely not adorable.”
“I hate that word. I don’t know why it came out of my mouth so easily just now.”
“I must bring it out in you.”
She shook her head as her laughter began to slowly subside. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“No, seriously.” The smile on Adam’s face quickly fell. “If you wanted me to… I would do that for you. I would.” His eyes fell to her lips.
Shaun chuckled softly, but Adam wasn’t laughing.
“I’m serious.” He raised his eyebrows.
Shaun shoved him softly in the shoulder. “Adam… you’re a mess.”
He reached up and grabbed the hand that she pushed him with, pulling it until she came closer to him, nose to nose.
She avoided his eyes, looking towards the front of her apartment, shaking her head.
“Shaun.” He pressed, pulling on her hand until her eyes met his. “You’ll like it,” he whispered. “I promise.”
“You’re crazy.”
He pulled at her hand, again, not able to help the coy smile that spread across his face when she finally looked at him.
There weren’t many men that could make her feel the way Adam was making her feel at that moment, and it was scaring her.
“You wouldn’t have to return the favor,” he whispered. The smile on his face grew into a quiet laugh when Shaun buried her head in her hand. “I mean, if you wanted to I sure as hell wouldn’t stop you, but…”
Shaun kept her hand over her eyes, fighting back her laughter and the frightening feeling in her gut. The feeling t
hat was telling her just how much she actually wanted Adam to do all of the dirty things he was suggesting. She wanted to know what it felt like… and she really wanted it to be him, but it couldn’t be him. It just couldn’t. She was already struggling enough as it was without throwing sex with Adam into the mix. If she allowed herself to be intimate with him she wasn’t sure if she’d have the strength to lose him.
And you will lose him Shaun, she thought to herself, one way or another.
When she looked back at him and saw that he was still staring right at her, his eyes full of lust… she almost cracked. “Adam…”
He stopped her. “I know.” He softly licked his lips while staring at hers, then smiled. “I gotta go. I have a family thing tomorrow.”
Her stomach flipped. “Right.” She’d completely lost touch with her own family since all of this had started. She made a mental note to go visit them tomorrow. She also made it a point not to ask Adam to elaborate on his family even though she was dying to know more. They were already in dangerous territory. The last thing she needed was to get any closer.
Adam went to stand, but hesitated. “Get some sleep.”
“I will.”
He lingered for a few seconds longer, and then smiled down at his feet before standing tall. As he made his way to the front door he looked over his shoulder. “Goodnight.”
Shaun couldn’t find the courage to make eye contact with him and stared down into her lap until she heard her front door open and close. His smell still lingered in the air and his presence in her heart.
“Goodnight Adam.”
Eleven
Shaun’s eyes ran back and forth across the, mostly blank, screen of her laptop.
Rule #4: See Rule #2
Did I mention no booty? There’s nothing a rock star cherishes more in his life than sex. He gets it all day, every day and doesn’t have to raise a single finger to do it. He works harder stroking one string on his shiny guitar than he will ever have to work getting a woman into bed. Why would he cherish something that comes so easily to him? He wouldn’t, which is why the No Booty rule is so powerful. As powerful as the rule is, however, it may be tough to stick with the longer you are with your rock star. Odds are you’re going to be attracted to each other and he’s going to make a move—in fact he’s going to make many moves. This is a very delicate point in your relationship. You can be the same as every girl who eventually gives into him, or you can be different, you can make him wait it out. Make him sweat it out. Make him earn it. No booty.
It had been less than a day since Adam had so graciously offered to give Shaun some much needed love and affection, and she hadn’t been able to focus on anything since. She still wasn’t talking to Celia, she hadn’t seen her family in weeks, and she was beginning to find herself drowning in the thought sex with Adam for no better reason than to save herself from sheer boredom.
Who was she kidding? She’d been drowning in the thought of having sex with Adam because she really wanted to have sex with Adam.
What she was feeling for this man was the very thing that she’d been waiting for all along. Not a ring, not candles and rose petals--not even a commitment. Just a man who she was desperately attracted to that treated her with patience and respect. Adam had all of that and more.
She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anything… and she couldn’t have him.
Her blood became heated at the predicament she’d gotten herself into. It took everything she had not to knock that laptop clear off her desk. She itched to call Celia but her pride wouldn’t allow it. Not yet, anyway.
As if he was somehow reading her thoughts his name blared across her screen at that moment.
She stared at the phone, contemplating whether she should answer. Unable to control herself, she picked it up just as it was about to go to voicemail. “Hey.”
“Hey, did I wake you up?”
She closed her laptop, unable to look at what she’d written and talk to him at the same time. “No, I’ve been up for a while.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just doing some writing.” She bit her tongue.
“More erotica?”
She smirked. “Sure Adam.”
“What’s it about?”
“It’s about a woman who locks eyes with a stranger on the subway. They both stay on until the last stop. Eventually everyone is off the train except the two of them… I’m sure you can figure out what happens from there.”
“Can I read it?”
“No. It’s private.”
“How will you know if it’s any good?”
“The same way you knew the song you wrote in Sydney was good without showing it to me.”
Adam was silent on the other line. “Fine, you don’t have to let me read it…. But you have to come out with me tonight to make up for it.”
“I can’t go out with you. I have plans.”
“With who?”
“A friend.”
“Who’s your friend?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“You said you weren’t seeing anyone.”
“Did I say that?” she asked, standing from her desk and walking to the kitchen. Shaun only had plans to go and visit her parents for a quick second, but she didn’t want to bring them up to Adam. Now he was clearly assuming that she was seeing some guy. She felt bad, but it was better this way. She could hear ruckus and voices coming from the background of wherever Adam was.
“We’re just going ice skating. Totally harmless. Something that couples do. We are a couple, aren’t we?”
“I’ve never been ice skating in my life.”
“You haven’t done a lot of things in your life,” he said, his voice laced with something devious.
“No, I guess I haven’t.”
“Come out with us. It’s just me, my sister and my buddy Jon.”
A light bulb went on in Shaun’s head. “Oh yeah, the one I met on your video set that day—the guitarist! God that feels like it was ages ago, but it’s only been a couple of weeks. Why wasn’t he in Sydney?”
“He got sick, but he’s better now and he wants to meet you. So does my sister.”
“Adam we’ve talked about this. The rules…”
“Fuck those rules, Shaun. I thought we already agreed they were stupid.”
“They’re not stupid,” she cried. “Besides, I couldn’t go even if I wanted to. I’m having dinner tonight with my parents.”
“They can come, too.”
“Goodbye Adam.”
“If you’re going to bang some guy you can just tell me, I can take it.”
“I’m going to bang some guy.”
A long silence followed on Adam’s end. “That’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” she said. “Goodbye.”
As soon as she hung up, her phone was blaring to life again. It was Janelle.
“Hello Janelle.”
Janelle didn’t waste any time. “Who represents you?”
Shaun’s mind spun. “I’m sorry?”
“Do you need an agent?”
“I… uh… wait, what?”
“I’m your agent. Nobody in this town will take care of you the way I will. Nobody else will understand your situation the way I can. It’s only natural that I be the one to represent you.”
Shaun tried to speak, but her mind was spinning.
“Shaun, you and Adam made miracles happen during those two days in Sydney and now everybody wants you… bad. Do you have any idea how much work I have lined up for you? I have you set for the rest of the year. We will make a lot of money together, you and me. I already have the first photo shoot set up for tomorrow at Cosmopolitan Magazine.”
Sputters bobbed from between her lips as Shaun attempted a sentence. She couldn’t.
“Hello? Are you still there?”
Perhaps a visit to the magazine wouldn’t be so bad. While she was there maybe she could find a way to tell Jackson that she couldn’t wr
ite the article anymore.
Shaun’s heart hammered into her chest. She couldn’t recall having hired Janelle to begin with but the woman already had a years’ worth of work lined up for her? The plan all along had been for Shaun to drop the modeling farce like it was on fire, but it was becoming more and more apparent that this was a problem that was not going to die easy.
“Janelle listen I—“
“I’ll talk to you about it more when you and Adam meet me for lunch tomorrow.”
“Me and Adam are meeting you for lunch tomorrow?”
“I told him to tell you. Mario’s. 12:30. Gotta run. Talk soon.”
Before Shaun could say another word, Janelle hung up.
--
That evening, Shaun sat wordlessly at her parent’s dinner table and had been quietly allowing them to ream her for the better part of the hour. She’d arrived at her family home a few hours ago and the dinner had started off cordial, but quickly escalated into something ugly. Being her parent’s only child had been both a blessing and a curse growing up. A blessing because she was always the favorite, getting what she wanted ninety percent of the time, and always having her own space. Sometimes, it felt like a curse because her parents had nothing better to do than obsess about her life and her choices. They had a knack for only focusing on the things she did wrong and never what she did right.
“So you’re a model now?” her mother, Sheila Green, asked scratching softly at the black bob wig she had on. Since she was a child Shaun was sure her mother had spent enough money on wigs to support six more children. “What happened to writing?”
“I’m still writing… but…” Shaun continued to stare down into her untouched dinner plate. “Until that becomes lucrative I have to do other things to make money. I could make a lot of money in modeling.”
Her father, Michael Green, spoke up, the honey colored eyes that she’d always wished she’d inherited from him jumping from his dark brown skin and burning into her. “Writing is a tough career. It takes one hundred and ten-percent dedication. Any small distraction and it will shatter everything you’ve worked for. You’re too talented to throw it all away.”
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