His fingers shook wildly as he fought with the knot, until he finally had to pull his lips from hers and focus on the fabric that was the only thing keeping her skin from his. When he got a look at how badly his hands were shaking, he realized how gone he really was. He grabbed the corner of the towel and ripped the knot apart before lying on top of her, reveling in the cool feel of her naked body against his. Her bare chest pushing against his felt so warm, so welcoming, like home.
Shaun pressed her hands against his chest and with a small smile she rolled them once more, putting Adam on his back in the middle of her bed. Looking down at him, she couldn’t remember ever being this relieved, this happy. As his hands ran over her naked body appreciatively, she traced the tribal tattoo that started at his collarbone and slowly played them down, brushing each tattoo as she moved. Her lips parted when she felt the small mountains of his strong abs trickling under her fingers. He was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Unable to take it for another moment she leaned down and kissed each and every tattoo while undoing his belt and zipper. Her lips worked lower and she fumbled with his pants in the same way he’d just struggled with her towel. When she was finally able to get them undone she looked up, smiling at the sight of him craning his neck just to watch her every move.
“Shaun.” He swallowed heavily. “What are you…?”
“I want to,” She said, pulling at his slacks and boxers. He lifted his hips for her, making her smile even broader as she tugged them down to his knees and took in the sight of his naked form. He was more than ready for her, his cock pressing against his stomach and extending well past his belly button. Shaun took him between her fingers, momentarily taken aback by the heat, the weight. She could barely get her fingers all the way around him. “You’re so beautiful, Adam.”
She looked up past his heaving chest and into his eyes while slowly taking the head between her lips, letting his length slowly fill her, only stopping when she felt him brushing the back of her throat. She jammed her eyes shut foreign invasion, fighting the slight sensation of being choked and holding onto the sounds of Adam’s intense moans of pleasure as she moved slowly up and down.
“Shau—“ His voice broke and he clenched the hands he was holding above his head into fists. “Oh god babe…” He was a man gone and experiencing the sensation of her wet lips pumping him--he couldn’t believe he’d made it this long pretending he could be without her.
The sound of him wobbling on the edge of control sent Shaun into overdrive and she no longer cared about breathing as she dove in and nearly swallowed him whole, keeping him in her mouth as long as she could.
Adam’s hips lifted inadvertently off of the mattress and he reached down to grab her head. If this went on for a second longer he would finish in her mouth, and he didn’t want that. Even after everything, he didn’t want that for Shaun.
She looked up at him when she felt his fingers in her hair. Her eyes locked with his and, as she continued to pump him, a small smile slowly crept over her face. “Did you like that?”
It was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen, the sight of him in her mouth, that he was convinced it was the most insane question he’d ever heard.
“Do you want me to stop?” she asked, shyly.
“If you keep going I’m not going to last much longer.”
“That’s okay.”
He took her shoulders and pulled her until the weight of her body was spread on top of his. Burying his hand in her hair, he kissed her passionately. His heart felt like it was sinking out of his chest and slowly spilling out onto the sheets below him. He knew that if he slept with Shaun that would be it for him. The first blow she’d thrown had tripped him up, if he opened himself to receive another one it would easily shatter him. She was like the female Mortal Kombat character that nobody saw coming until it was too late. Delicate, beautiful, and lethal. He could see himself right in the palm of her dainty hand and was alarmed by her power. He wasn’t alarmed enough, however, to stop. It was now more clear than ever, as his eyes searched her face, that he’d gone insane. He grinded his hardness blindly into her stomach, mere inches from being inside of her.
“I’ll never hurt you again,” Shaun said. “Never, Adam. I’d die first.”
Could she see his thoughts? Was it splashed all over his face? How much he loved her?
“Where did you learn to do that?” he whispered, drinking in the smile that spread on her face at the question.
“What? This?” She reached between them and took him in her hand again.
Adam gently hissed.
“Or this?” Her tongue dove between his parted lips, kissing him violently as she pumped him. She pulled her mouth from his with a smack and grinned lazily down at him. “Just living out all of the thoughts that have plagued me since the moment I met you.”
“So you haven’t…” He’d almost come in her mouth in a little under a minute. Surely someone had taught her a few tricks. Or was he so gone that he’d never be able to last again?
“No.” She smiled. “Just you.”
He took a huge breath and then slowly smiled back at her. “Oh.”
“I guess a small part of me always hoped you’d come back to me… Somehow…”
Adam couldn’t wait another moment. He flipped her onto her back, reached under her legs and lifted them, opening her, spreading her as far as she would go. He kissed her deeply, grimacing intensely when his heat brushed against her slick center. His tongue slid against hers as he pushed the tip in gently, opening his eyes and making sure she was okay before slowly sinking deeper. He pulled his lips from hers as he filled her to the hilt, even as she continued to softly kiss him, unable to focus on anything but how good she felt. How right. Her walls took him in and held tight, tighter than anything he’d ever experienced.
“Oh,” he sighed, clenching his fists, “Shaun, Shaun…” His hips began a careful thrust and he opened his mouth over hers once more, enjoying her taste as he drove into her blindly. When their lips parted he pressed his forehead to hers, whispering heatedly, “I need you so bad babe. I missed you so fucking bad.”
“Ah.” Shaun gasped into his mouth, in awe of the unique combination of both pleasure and pain that shot through her bones. She could feel her body slowly submitting to him, growing slicker with every trust of his hips, and soon it began to feel really good. “Yes.” She clasped her hands on either side of his hips and clawed at them as his thrusts gradually intensified, until he was all but crashing into her. The sounds of their moans and their skin slapping softly together made beautiful music in the quiet room as they worked each other passionately.
Adam watched her, sweat forming on the tip of his nose. He felt himself slowly falling over the edge.
“Are you okay?” he gasped, groaning heavily as a wave of pleasure surrounded and overtook him, making every bone in his body tighten.
Shaun nodded, her gasps coming in time with his.
“Shaun, I’m gonna come,” Adam breathed. His gasps grew in fervor as his orgasm hit, and he spoke into her lips frantically. “Where?”
She reached down and cupped his ass, holding him inside her.
Adam cried out. His torso curled sharply as he spilled inside of her, one after the other, giving her everything he had and more.
Shaun held his forehead to hers and watched as he came, overwhelmed at the ecstasy splashed so nakedly across his face, in awe of his complete and utter surrender. She knew right then and there that she would never be able to live without this man.
He drove into her one last time and then collapsed onto her with a sigh, their breathing heavy, wild, and utterly out of control. He lifted his head and looked down at her to make sure that she was still okay. When her face immediately broke into a playful smile he couldn’t help but smile back. It quickly grew into a laugh as she ran her hands down his face.
She went to say something and, instead, squealed loudly when Adam suddenly grabbed her waist and threw up to the top of the
bed.
“Adam!” Her head bumped against the headboard ever so softly as she looked down at him. Her mouth fell open when he spread her legs once again, gently sucking on the sensitive skin inside of her thighs.
“Adam,” she purred, again, much lower this time. He didn’t seem to be listening as he nuzzled his head between her legs and took in her scent before running his tongue slowly up the warm slit at her center. He spread her open with his fingers and took in the sight of her, throbbing and wet, before diving in. Shaun threw her head back, her mouth parted in shock. Almost immediately, her body was overcome. His tongue danced with fervor and he wasn’t shy. He seemed to know all the right places to go, lapping her up like a starving man who hadn’t been fed in weeks.
A wave of self-consciousness so strong it took her breath away almost overwhelmed her, and Shaun had half a mind to stop him, but it felt way too good. She soon forgot about the world around her, her own insecurities, anything and everything that didn’t involve the beautiful man who was between her legs. The feeling of his tongue moving against her was both amazingly soft and unwaveringly forceful. He worked her thoroughly, with vigor. Shaun wasn’t sure what he was doing down there, but whatever it was felt like heaven on earth--a pleasure she never dreamed she’d experience. Just when she thought it couldn’t feel any better, Adam slid one finger into her slick folds, then another.
That was it. It started at Shaun’s toes and worked slowly up her entire body, rolling to the top of her head and curving her back clear off of the bed as it went. The warm pleasure engulfed her, arrested her, and left her violently shuddering and clawing at the headboard behind her desperately.
“Oh my… god!”
She screamed as she came, pushing against the headboard, grinding her body unconsciously into Adam’s amazing, magical mouth. She twitched and trembled for several long seconds after the final wave of her orgasm hit. Soon, she couldn’t take it anymore and had to reach down and push at the top of Adam’s head.
His tongue continued to lap ravenously at her now extremely sensitive area, causing her back to flinch and arch to the point of breaking.
“Okay, okay…” She gasped. When he didn’t relent, she squealed out loud and pushed the top of his head with more force. “Please…” she whined. The sound of his laughter touched her ears. “Okay, Adam, please, please.”
He could listen to her beg him all night, but Adam finally pulled away, staring at her wet folds as if he could go on for hours more. His fingers continued their avid exploration inside of her, albeit more gently than before, as he kissed her splayed thighs.
He finally tore his gaze from the beautiful sight of her pulsating walls and looked up at her.
“I love you,” he whispered, watching as she slowly fell into a deep sleep.
--
Hours later Shaun awoke to Adam sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed. With a playful grin she reached out to him, running her hand down his back.
“Hey,” she whispered. “Come back over here.”
When Adam turned and looked her in the eye, Shaun could feel her entire world shift.
“Adam?” She wrapped her naked body in the towel that they had been left strewn on the bed and sat across from him. He was looking off towards the door like he had been earlier that night. Shaun looked to the clock on her bedside table. It was two in the morning. “Have you slept at all?”
Adam ran his hands through his hair. “No.”
She smiled softly. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“I was waiting for you to wake up so I could tell you that this can’t happen again.”
Something rippled through Shaun that made her head spin. “What do you mean? What can’t happen again?”
“I should have never let it get this far.” He covered his mouth with his hands. They were shaking. “It shouldn’t have happened and that’s my fault. I didn’t know how to… I couldn’t—“
“I know,” Shaun said. “I wanted you to. I thought you wanted it too.”
“I did want it. I’ll always want you but…” Adam hesitated. “It was a mistake. We didn’t even use a condom.”
“It’s okay,” she reassured. “I’m on the pill. I’ve been on it since I was sixteen.” Her bottom lip quivered as she realized what was happening. She had woken up to a dream that was rapidly turning into her worst nightmare. “I don’t think it was a mistake.”
“It was.”
“But…” Shaun took a moment when she found it difficult to talk past the poignant sensation of her heart splitting in two. “But you said… You said you loved me.”
Adam couldn’t look at her. He knew if he did he would stay, and he couldn’t stay. “Shaun, I do love you.” He took a deep breath, struggling. “I love you. More than you know.”
“Was it the sex? Was I that terrible?”
Adam felt his heart splitting. “No. No.” He put his face in his hands. “That’s not it.”
Having no idea what to say or do, Shaun gave in to the part of her that was falling to pieces and started crying.
Adam looked at her, saw the pain spilling out of her eyes, and immediately started crying too. “How can you not see the way this is going to end? It’ll be smooth sailing for the first couple of months. I’ll forget about how angry I am because I’ll have the beautiful distraction of being in bed with you, inside you. But what about when the sex eventually dries up? When I don’t know how to look at you and forget what you did. Where will we be then?”
“Okay but…” Shaun didn’t know which way was up. She struggled for the right words to say. “But how do you know that if we don’t even try?” Seeing the tears in his eyes made her believe that if she could convince him, if she could make him believe what she knew to be true, he would stay. “Please don’t do this, Adam,” she squeaked, her face collapsing in tears. She hid her face in her hands when she saw in his eyes that he wasn’t going to relent.
Adam struggled for control. “I just can’t look at you.” He jammed his eyes shut and wondered if he should continue. After reached up and massaging his eyes, swiping the wetness away, he held up a hand. “I can’t look at you and see the same person.”
“But I am the same person.”
“No. I mean, you are… you’re the same person. But I’ll look at you… and I’ll think about how much I love you. And then, out of nowhere, I’m levelled…”
Shaun’s head fell and she stared into her lap, watching one tear after another hit her thighs and slide down onto the sheets.
“And I’m not sure how you can look at me and forget the fucked up shit I’ve done, the shit I’ve done that drove you. That was your drive. I gave that to you.” He pointed to himself.
Shaun shook her head but couldn’t speak. She was afraid to say anything.
Adam pressed on. “You told me once… You told me that we’ve built a hundred-story tower with a million fake bricks…”
Shaun jammed her eyes shut.
“And it’s too late to go back and make that building real.”
Shaun stood from the bed, turning her back to him as she faced the wall. She knew he was going to go, and she couldn’t watch him leave. They stewed in a heavily silence for so long Shaun almost wondered if he was even still in the room.
Finally he shakily whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Minutes later she heard the door to her apartment close, and fell to a heap on the floor.
--
“He’s scared Shaun,” Celia said the next morning from where she sat across dining table from Shaun, who she was convinced had been crying for the better part of the hour. “He’s scared to death.”
Shaun swiped her tears away. “But he has nothing to be scared of. The worst is over. The only weapon in my arsenal has already been utilized. The article is published, nobody knows that it’s about him and… I thought that once we slept together…”
“That everything would magically be okay?”
Shaun nodded. “I guess I’m just an idiot.”<
br />
“No, you’re not. This is a crazy situation between the two of you. He loves you, but he’s scared out of his mind that he might get played for a fool, again.”
When Shaun’s phone rang she snatched it up.
“Adam?” she asked, without even looking at the caller ID.
When her face fell in disappointment Celia knew that it clearly wasn’t Adam. Watching her friend listen to whoever was on the other line was like watching an exercise in emoting that the actors at her agency often did before auditioning for a part.
“Thank you,” Shaun said, before hanging up her phone and staring at it blankly. She looked up to Celia without a word.
Celia had finally had enough. “What?! Who was that?”
Shaun looked down at the phone. “I got a job.”
Celia clapped her hands together. “Bitch what?” she beamed. “That is fantastic!”
Shaun was still in a stupor. “In New York City.”
Celia slammed her hands down on the table, her smile disappearing. “Bitch what? You’re going to leave me?”
Shaun continued, becoming more and more lucid as time pressed on. “It’s an entry level position with The New York Times.”
“You’re going to leave me,” Celia said, with finality. She had half a mind to beg her best friend to stay, to keep looking for something here in L.A., to never leave her, but Celia knew that would be beyond selfish—even for her.
“I did a video interview with them a couple of weeks ago and sent in some samples of my work but I never thought… “
Celia raised an eyebrow. “I guess even the great and powerful Jackson doesn’t have the power to ruin your life on another coast.” Her eyes fell to the table. “Are you going to take it?”
“I don’t know.” Shaun’s entire life was in Los Angeles. Her parents, Celia… Adam. Shaun blinked. Adam.
Celia was already shaking her head. “Nope. Don’t even think it. Don’t even think of turning down this amazing opportunity for a damn man. There are plenty of men out there Shaun. Hundreds, thousands, billions. This is just one man, and he walked out.”
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