by Shawn Sodman
As if waking from a trance, he quickly releases her and steps back. Humiliated by his loss of control, he says, “I'm sorry, please forgive me. I don't know what came over me.”
“I do,” Kristieana replies as she rubs her neck. “I’m sorry for what I said.”
Chance shake his head and says, “Your words do not absolve me of my actions. I had no right to put my hands on you like that.”
“I’m fine,” replies Kristieana. “I know you would never intentionally hurt me, and you stopped the moment I said that you were.”
Chance walks to the window of his chamber. He looks out at the harbor, and even though it is dark he can see the Red Dawn. He says, “She is right, you know—Ariella, that is. I am a coward.”
“No, you're not,” Kristieana says as she joins him by the window.
“I ran away from you both.”
“You didn't run from us,” Kristieana says reassuringly. “You left us because you knew in your heart you weren't ready. What you said about me to Isen was true. I am confrontational to make the sure the man I’m with isn't weak, and you are not weak. I didn't mean what I said about not being capable of the task. If that were true, I wouldn't have been willing to give myself to you, and I would have been the one who left.” She takes his hand and jests, “Do you know how much strength it takes to resist the temptation of what I was offering you?”
Chance laughs softly and says, “I suppose so.”
Kristieana asks, “You were tempted, weren't you?”
“Of course I was,” he smiles. He looks out the window and asks, “So, what else did you and Ariella talk about?”
Kristieana says, “I told her that if she still loves you, I wouldn't get in the way.”
“And what did she say to that?” Chance asks.
“She said that I didn't have to get in the way to still be in the way,” Kristieana replies. She looks out the window once again. “Chance, am I in the way?”
“I don't know,” he says as he stares at the Red Dawn. “When it comes to Ariella, I don't know what is happening. It's been so long since we spent any time with each other. When I look at her, I am torn between the girl I once knew and the woman she is now, and when I am with her, I don't even know who I am.” Looking back at Kristieana, Chance continues, “And then there is you. When I am with you, I am sure of who I am. Kristieana, I know I said I wouldn't fight for you, and yet, here we are, you in my chamber and me not wanting you to leave.”
Kristieana drops her eyes and says, “Please don't ask me to stay. Not because I wouldn't, but because I might, and we both know that can't happen. I didn't mean to make things more confusing for you by coming here. I'm sorry.”
“Don't apologize,” says Chance.
“You were strong enough to resist the temptation before,” she says. “Please find the strength again, for both of us.”
Chance slowly walks to the door as his heart fights his will with each step. When Chance reaches the door, he hesitates before opening it. “Goodnight, Kristieana,” he says. “May your dreams guide you safely...”
Kristieana makes her way across the room with her eyes lowered until she reaches the door. She stops as she looks up at Chance and says, “Thank you. May your dreams guide you safely.”
Chance nods and forces a smile as he struggles to keep from shedding tears. Kristieana exits to the hall as Chance closes the door behind her. He releases a saddened sigh as he rests his head against the oak boards of the wooden door. Two tears fall to the cold stone floor at his feet.
Out in the hall Kristieana, is standing before Chance’s room. She hears footsteps approaching and looks up to see Evelena walking down the hall.
“There you are,” Evelena says. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just about to return to our room,” Kristieana answers. “Why are you here?”
“Isen came looking for you,” Evelena says. “I told him he could wait for you in our room. I’m not very tired, so I decided to go for a walk.”
Kristieana asks, “So Isen is in our room now?”
“Yes,” Evelena answers as she looks at door to Chance's chamber. She asks, “Isn't this Chance's room?”
“Yes,” Kristieana answers. “I had to talk with him about something important.”
“Oh,” replies Evelena. “Well, I’m going to be out for a while longer. You may not want to keep Isen waiting.”
“Thank you,” Kristieana says as Evelena continues with her walk. Kristieana makes her way down the halls to the opposite wing of the castle. When she reaches the room that she has been sharing with Evelena, she takes a deep breath before entering.
When she opens the door, she finds Isen sitting in a chair with Kristieana's backpack next to it. In his hands is a parchment. Kristieana recognizes it as the letter that Chance had written to her the night they spent at Copper Pass. Kristieana enters before closing the door behind her. She asks, “Isen, did you look through my belongings?”
Isen folds the parchment and stands up. He says, “I moved your backpack so I could sit down. It tipped over and this fell out. I may not be able to read, but I do recognize Chance's signature when I see it.”
“It's nothing,” Kristieana lies. She walks up to Isen and reaches for the letter, but Isen pulls it away.
Isen says, “Then you won’t mind if I ask Ya'leigh to read it.”
“No, don't!” Kristieana replies quickly. The look of near panic on her face betrays her.
Isen asks, “Why not?”
Kristieana sighs and relents, “Because she wouldn't understand.”
“What is there to understand?” asks Isen.
“Chance and I didn't meet at Elonfar,” Kristieana explains. “We met just over a week ago in Copper Pass.”
Isen looks at the parchment and asks, “When did he write this?”
Kristieana, tired of hiding the truth, answers, “We shared a room at Pick Axe Inn. Nothing happened between us, though. When I awoke the next morning he was gone, but left the letter behind.”
Isen shrugs his shoulders and says, “That's not so bad. Why would you lie to Ya'leigh about this unless...” Suddenly Isen remembers something that Kristieana had told him. He says, “Chance was the other man in your life. He was the one that you said 'went on his own way.'”
Kristieana, looking at the floor, says, “The next morning, I went after Chance. When I found him we shared a moment, but he left before anything serious happened.”
Isen looks at the letter again and concludes, “So, this is a love letter, isn't it?”
“Yes,” Kristieana answers.
Isen laughs to himself and says, “The truth was right in front of me the whole time and I didn't even know. I really am a fool.”
Kristieana says, “No, you're not.”
“All this time,” Isen says, “I’ve been talking about you with him, and talking about him with you, but you two knew each other the entire time. Who else knows about this?”
Kristieana thinks for a moment before answering, “Gelana and Kel'ana know, I’m not sure about the others.”
Isen nods and thinks for moment. He then asks, “Where were you just now, before you came here?”
“I was with Chance, but it's not what you think,” answers Kristieana.
“And what am I supposed to think?” asks Isen.
Kristieana replies, “I overheard you and Chance talking about me in the dining hall. I wanted to speak with him about it before I came to you.”
“Why?” Isen asks.
Kristieana explains, “Because I didn't like the way the two of you were talking about me, as if I were a wild animal in need of taming.”
“Oh,” laughs Isen. “Now I see why he seemed confident that he could handle your moods: he already has.”
“They're not moods,” Kristieana says, trying to keep calm.
“Whatever it is you want to call them,” says Isen, “Chance seemed to think he could deal with you. Now it all makes sense.”
“It is exactly that kind of talk that I didn't appreciate,” says Kristieana, now becoming more frustrated. “If the two of you feel that I am that difficult to 'handle,' then why did either of you bother with me in the first place?”
“I’m sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect,” Isen says. He hands back the letter and says, “Maybe this is all for the best.”
“What are you saying?” Kristieana asks as she takes the letter and sets it down on top of her backpack.
Isen explains, “I’m saying that in all the time I have known Chance, he has never taken any time off for himself. He’s always doing work for the king, and I don't believe he’s been with a woman since his wife was taken. I think you would be good for him.”
Kristieana is shocked by Isen's words. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this,” she says. “Do you not want to be with me?”
“I do,” Isen insists. “But I just think that Chance may be better for you than me.”
Kristieana shakes her head and replies, “You don't get to decide what’s best for me. That’s for me to choose. While I admire your dedication to your friend that makes you want to step aside, I’m not a piece of property that can be gifted or given away because you feel someone else would want me more.”
Isen replies, “I didn't mean it like that.”
Kristieana walks to the door and says, “I have had about enough of the two of you. Whether it's Chance leaving me behind, or you wanting to give me away, neither one of you deserve me.” She opens the door. “It was a mistake for me to let myself get involved with either of you, but thank you for reminding me why I’m better off alone.”
Isen tries to plead with her. “Don't be like this, please.”
Kristieana stands there with door open and says coldly, “Goodnight, Isen.”
Isen walks to the door, not knowing what to say. With his head held low he finally mutters, “Goodnight.”
Isen leaves, and Kristieana closes the door behind him. She walks to her backpack and picks up the letter from Chance. She glances over the words before folding the parchment. She grasps the letter with both hands. Just as she is about to tear it in two, she hesitates. “Damn you, Chance,” she says under her breath. She tries again to rip the parchment, but cannot find the will to do so. She sighs before folding it again. She pulls out some clothing from her backpack and places the letter inside before putting the clothing over top. She lies on the bed and stares up at the chandelier above.
Day 19
Chapter 43
Second Dawn
Chance is woken by a loud knocking at his door. He gets out of his bed, wearing only trousers, and walks to the door before opening it. Captain Belron is standing in the hallway. He says, “Good morning, Chance. I came to inform you that the orcneas have moved their camps overnight.”
Chance begins to dress himself. “How far away are they?”
Belron replies, “From our best estimates, they are now one full day’s travel on foot from here.”
As Chance begins to tie the straps to his boots, he says, “The orcnea general said that they would stay no less that one night’s travel from Sheathelm.”
Belron replies, “Well, they are further out than that currently. Perhaps they will move again tonight.”
“I wouldn't doubt it,” says Chance as he grabs his breastplate. “They will most likely close in so that they can be poised to attack on the fifth dawn.”
“Their soldiers will be exhausted after traveling all night,” says Belron as he follows Chance out the door.
“Yes,” Chance agrees. “No one ever said the orcneas were master tacticians.”
Chance and Belron make their way down the hall, then down the stairs to the main floor. They enter the throne room, where they are greeted by King Arioch standing in front of his throne. “Good morning, Chance.”
“Good morning, Your Majesty,” Chance says as he finishes latching his breastplate. “I am sorry I overslept.”
“It's quite all right,” Arioch says. “You need to get caught up on your rest.”
“Well, I am afraid I am not sleeping too well these days,” replies Chance.
“Understandable,” Arioch says as he sits upon the throne. “I don't think many of us are.”
“What are your orders for today?” asks Chance.
Arioch leans back and answers, “For now, I believe all there is to do is wait.”
“Would you like me to scout the orcnea camps?” Chance asks.
“We have five drake riders,” replies Arioch. “They are patrolling the area. For once, my friend, I am not in need your flying abilities.”
Chance looks around the room as his mind races in an attempt to think of something useful to do. He says, “There must be something I can do.”
“There is,” replies Arioch. “Rest and relax. We are going to need you to be at full strength when the orcneas arrive.”
Chance, disappointed with the king's answer, replies, “Very well. If you need me, though, I am not exactly sure where you will be able to find me.” He turns and starts to head back to his chamber as Isen joins him.
“Good morning,” Isen says as he walks beside his friend.
Chance begins to unbuckle his armor, since it seems it will no longer be needed. “Good morning.”
“What are your plans for the day?” Isen asks as they begin to climb the stairs.
“I don't know,” Chance replies. “Arioch has no use for me today.”
“Good,” says Isen. “Maybe you could spend the day with Ariella, or...”
Chance reaches the top of the winding stone staircase and asks, “Or what?”
Isen says, “Or maybe, if you prefer, you could spend time with Kristieana.”
Chance abruptly stops walking down the hall. He turns to Isen and asks, “Why do you say that?”
Isen smiles and says, “It's all right, I spoke with her last night. I know how the two of you really met.”
Chance, perplexed as to where the conversation is heading, asks, “What else did she tell you?”
“She didn't say much,” Isen admits. “But I do know that you care about her, and that you kissed her.”
“Well, it doesn't matter much now,” Chance says as he resumes walking to his chamber. “You are the one she chose.”
“I wouldn't be so sure about that,” Isen says as he follows Chance. “Last night she got angry with me and asked me to leave.”
“Why?” asks Chance. “What did you say?”
“I just suggested that you might be better for her than me,” Isen says.
Chance shakes his head and asks, “Why would you do that?”
“I don't want her to be with me if she would rather be with you,” replies Isen. “I was also thinking of you.”
“While I appreciate your thoughts,” Chance says as he reaches his door, “I believe Kristieana is capable of deciding who she would rather be with.”
“She did say something to that effect last night,” says Isen.
Chance opens the door to his chamber and asks, “How do you feel about Kristieana?”
Isen replies, “I think she’s wonderful.”
“Do you want to be with her?”
“Yes.”
“Then show her,” says Chance as he enters his chamber. “After all, isn't that we all truly want? To be a loved and wanted?”
“I suppose it is,” replies Isen with a nod.
“Then go to her,” Chance says. “Apologize, and prove to her that she is important to you.”
Isen asks, “What about you? Isn't she important to you, as well?”
Chance says, “She already knows how I feel about her, and she still chose you. I don't wish for anyone to be with me as a second choice.”
“I understand,” says Isen.
Chance takes off his breastplate and leans it against the wall. He says, “As long as she still has feelings for you, don't let her slip away. Otherwise, you really are a fool.”
“I guess you're right,” Isen s
ays. “What should I say?”
Chance replies, “Just tell her that she means far too much to you for you to give up on her without a fight.”
Isen nods, “That sounds like something she would like, thank you. So, what are you going to do today?”
Chance opens a drawer to a dresser that is along the wall to the right of the door. He takes out a red silk shirt, puts his arms through the sleeves, and says, “There is a certain red-headed captain that is still docked here. I suggested to her yesterday that we could get dinner together. I think I'll pay her a visit now, and confirm those plans.”
“Good,” says Isen. “I’m happy for you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe the Amazons of the Silver Moon were having breakfast in the dining hall. I think I'll go have a talk with Kristieana.”
Chance smiles and laughs, “Good luck with that.”
“Thanks,” replies Isen. “I'll need it.”
Chance walks to the window of his chamber and opens it. From this higher level, he is able to see the entire harbor. The skies are clear and the water is calm. He climbs onto the window sill as Isen stands in the doorway watching him. Chance leaps from the sill. As he falls, he transforms into his eagle form. With the speed from the fall adding to his flight, he manages to fly to the Red Dawn in a matter of moments. Instead of landing directly on the deck of the ship, Chance lands on the docks. The boarding plank is already lowered, and Chance walks up to the main deck.
John spots him first. “Good morning, Mr. Na'Moon. I believe the captain is in the lounge.”
“Thank you, sir,” replies Chance. He looks up at the quarterdeck and makes his way up the stairs. He knocks at the door to the captain's lounge and looks around at the crew of the ship as he waits for an answer. Since they are still docked, there isn't much for them to do, so the majority of the men are just sitting about the deck.
The door opens to reveal the massive Drake standing on the other side. Drake turns to Ariella, who is sitting at the table eating breakfast with Torgus and Annalee. Drake says, “Captain, I believe you have a visitor.”
