by Kahlin Rogue
Return to me
(Book 1 in Love Gone Rogue Series)
Original Script by Kahlin Rogue
Copyright © by Kahlin Rogue
Nikki
“O
h my God! It’s happening!” I exclaimed. “It’s finally happening.”
I have been waiting for this day for a while now, but now that it has come, I am scared. I am alone, no one to help me keep calm or to stay with me or to help me get through the pain. No one there for me at all.
However, it isn’t time to think about how pitiful my life is or how I wish things were different, that I’d made different choices. It was no time for self-pity.
It was time to steel myself and be strong, because even though the ultimate sign hadn’t happened, my instincts told me it was about to happen and when they fired up, they were usually never wrong.
Too bad I hadn’t listened to them at all in the first place because if I had, I wouldn’t be in this position at all. All those months of sorrow and heartbreak would have been avoided. Besides, the spasms running through my body at the moment led up to an obvious conclusion.
I hobbled, as was my walking style these days, into my tiny bedroom, huffing and puffing all the way, hoping to quell a bit of the pain. I packed a bag with a few essentials, grabbed my purse and keys, and left my sparsely furnished apartment, biting my lip all the while and refusing to shed even a single tear despite the pain currently twisting inside me.
It was a good thing my landlord had fixed the elevator because I didn’t think I would have been able to take the whole journey down the stairs. Good, it hurt! I almost sat down on the elevator floor but thought otherwise. It would be impossible to get stand back up. Why isn’t the damn elevator moving faster?
By the time the elevator doors re-opened I had gotten some bit of relief from the pain, but I knew it wouldn’t be for long so I tried to hurry up. I held onto my bag tighter, took a deep breath, and walked out of the building.
For a moment, the sunlight blinded me. For a moment, I thought that I was hallucinating, because as I walked outside, I saw a black limo. And the only person I knew that owned a limo was --- No, I don’t even want to think about it. That man wouldn’t be caught dead in this part of town and what would he be doing here anyway? It’s not likely that a mega-billionaire had any work to do in that run-down part of town. They were done, and he didn’t even want to see her again. He’d declared that himself.
Nevertheless, my heart raced, and I felt the pounding in my ears. His last words to me rang through my mind, like a siren that just wouldn’t stop.
“You are just a common whore, and I never want to see you again! Leave my house!”
Really, it couldn’t be his limo. Yet somehow, I wouldn’t, I couldn’t move an inch, because despite what I wanted to believe, my heart knew otherwise. It had to be him. No, it was him, it was Damien Knight.
Then, just like a movie where the star appears on his cue, the car door opened, and the man I had sworn never to see or talk to again got out. His dark hair still as ruffled as it always was, and his suit, just as pressed and perfect as if it just came from the runway. And not forgetting, Italian leather shoes. He never wore anything else, anything other than the very best. It was like his very own brand.
I refused to look at his face. That face that I had fallen asleep to and woken up to as well. That face that I had stared at for hours on end.
That face which the very last time I had seen it, was cold and unflinching as I was insulted and kicked out of the place I had come to call my home. The face which belonged to the man I had loved and lost; the man, who for all he claimed to love me, didn’t care about me at all. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have destroyed me like he did. He wouldn’t have looked me in the face and said all those terrible, soul-crushing things that made me feel like my heart was being ripped out.
No, I would not look at that face.
Suddenly, dragging me back to earth from the place I had drifted off to, and back to the reality of the situation, another bout of the spasms began. This one worse than the last. I clung to the wall next to me for support.
As if that wasn’t enough, I felt a warm liquid trickle down my legs. I didn’t even need to look down to know what was happening. It was the ultimate sign that I had been waiting for. Now there was no going back.
My water had broken. My baby was coming.
Damien
The folders lying on my lap all seemed so unappealing. I didn’t want to think about work or the many people in my life who always seemed to want something from me. At the moment, I was looking at my account statements. It gave me a headache just looking at how much money my mother and Britney spent just shopping. Who needed that many clothes anyway!
I needed to set limits with them and how much money they were allowed to spend. They shouldn’t live like they own the whole damn world. It was my money dammit, and they’d contributed in no way towards its acquisition.
I definitely needed to have that conversation with them. But just thinking of that conversation made my head throb faster. All the drama I knew would follow would drain me.
However, it needed to be done and they could live with the consequences. It’s not like I’d be kicking them out of the house and leaving them to fend for themselves on the street. But he had no doubt that’s how they would see it.
At the moment, I had more pressing details to deal with. At the top of that list was just one face. Nikki. That beautiful face whose beauty was accentuated by the dimples whenever she smiled. Those eyes that you could just disappear into. That voice that sounded like that of an angel. And of course, those lips that could make anyone fall in love.
I had fallen in love once. Had fallen so deeply and irrevocably in love with the girl – no, the woman that I had thought was God’s gift to mankind. I would have given anything, done anything just to be with her.
That all changed, when I realized the truth. Actually, when the truth was slammed in my face. That she was just like all the other women in my life. Just a spineless greedy woman like all the rest. What was worse was that she thought she’d been so clever being so sweet towards me while committing atrocious acts right under my nose. At least everyone else was direct when they wanted something from me.
Had she really thought that she’d hide her sins from me forever? That I’d never uncover the truth, or that I wouldn’t see her for who she truly was?
I remembered her face the last time I’d seen it in person, so stricken and crushed, tears spilling over non-stop. What if she was telling the truth? – the thought crossed unbidden into my mind.
I nullified it as fast as it had come. The evidence proved her guilt. She couldn’t cry away hard cold facts. She was just a very good actress. I mean, she’d managed to pull blinders on me for months.
I’d learned my lesson and I would never repeat that mistake again. Love was something I would never like to go through again. The consequences were just too much to bear.
And so, it was ironical that I was sitting in my limo outside her building instead of running my multi-billion corporation.
After all those months of separation, I had wanted to just see her one more time and to ask her for the truth. I already knew it, but I just wanted to hear it from her own lips. Maybe I just wanted closure.
Maybe then, I could find some other woman to keep my bed warm and give me children. One that I wouldn’t love and would be aware of all her greedy ways. I could tolerate a marriage without love. After all, it was what had always been in my plan, before I met Nikki.
I’d been sitting in the limo for the past ten minutes because I couldn’t decide whether I really did want to se
e her again. To see her betraying face again. She probably would still stick to her attempts at lying to my face again. I was just about to tell my driver to drive back to the office when the door of the building opened and she walked out.
As soon as I glanced at her red hair, I got out of the car. Then I took a moment to appreciate her features; to see if she looked the same as when I last saw her.
I didn’t like the fact that her hair was tied up in a French braid. I preferred it free and flowing. My hands ached to undo that braid but I didn’t move. Her eyes as green as an emerald, were now stuck on me, as if she’d seen a ghost. Was it such a surprise to see him? He supposed it was, considering the words they shared the last time they spoke.
She had bags under her eyes and looked so tired, almost as if she hadn’t slept in weeks. I frowned in anger, out of a habit that I apparently hadn’t lost. . Why wasn’t she taking care of herself?
Just then her face contorted, as if in pain, and she fell on the wall next to her clinging to it as if for her life. Instinctively, I jumped and started moving towards her……till I looked down ………… and saw the pregnancy bump.
In that moment, my feet froze and my heart stopped beating. The rest of the world fell away and it was just me, Nikki and ………….
Then I saw the puddle of the floor. I may not have been a guru in that sector of life but one thing I knew. Based on that puddle on the floor, and the pain making her contort her face which I naturally assumed to be contractions, her water had broken. She was about to give birth.
On auto-pilot I went to her, grabbed her bag, which I hadn’t noticed before since I was too busy taking in her features, and took it into my car. Then I walked back to Nikki and without so much as a word or a hello, bent down and lifted her into my arms, receiving a yelp from her.
No other argument came from her lips as I silently but quickly walked to the car, seated her and got in as well.
“What hospital?” I asked her.
She glanced at me and answered almost imperceptibly and seemingly out of breath, “St. Thomas.”
“No. Too far,” I answered almost immediately, but what I really wanted to say was, “Why the hell would you go to St. Thomas? The place is too far and their service is shit. You’d never be seen to on time.”
I turned to my driver and instructed, “Mercy Grace Hospital. Step on it.”
However, as soon as the car was moving, Nikki decided to make herself heard. “No. That’s too expensive. I can’t afford it.”
“What do you mean you can’t afford it? What about all the money you st- got from me? Did you finish it already?”
“If you came all this way to keep accusing me of something I never did, I’d rather you stopped the car and let me out! Actually, since we are already on the way and I didn’t ask you to put me in your limo, your driver can drop you off at your office and drive me to the hospital.”
“Oh! Is that you want? And are you planning on having the limo ever returned to me or are you going to also abscond with it and never return.” I said, even as I saw her eyes light up in ire. Even her face turned red as it always did when she was angry. But I didn’t want to stop. “Or maybe you actually plan to take it to one of your shady friends and come back to me claiming it’s been --”
“I will NOT sit here and listen to you throw insults at me when----” Suddenly she bit her lip and clamped her hand down on the car-seat. “Aaargh!!! Fuck!!”
I could see the pain on her face and knew she was having contractions. Those things must have been really painful considering the expression on her face. That bastard that did this to her and then left her to suffer alone like this should keep hiding his face in whichever rock he crawled under because if I found him-- What the hell was I thinking? I didn’t even who had gotten her pregnant. And now I was acting all possessive claiming to go ape-shit on whomever it was that had gotten her pregnant. I was about to demand she tell me, but then I saw her face. That pain on her face, that face-contorting pain removed all those thoughts from my mind and only left concern.
Suddenly the car stopped and I knew that we had arrived. At least the driver really did step on it. I opened the door and got to work.
Nikki
I didn’t even protest as I was carried into the car. I knew I had to get to the hospital immediately, and it didn’t matter if the person who would get me there was the current recipient of all my hate and spite. It didn’t matter if he was the person who had insulted and said more than crude words to me.
The fact that I had once loved him and had that love thrown back in my face also didn’t matter. Nor the fact that despite the way he had tossed me out of his house and his life, he was the one who had come looking for me. The one who was currently caring for me almost as if he had never left.
No. I would not bring my feelings into this. I would keep a clear level head. I would not think about my past. Because that’s exactly what it was. Just my past; not my present nor my future. I would not bring my emotions into this. My child’s life depended on me being fine.
When he sat me down in the limo, I moved as far as possible in the seat, putting as much distance between us as humanly possible within the confines of the small car. Funny how one of the most spacious cars suddenly seemed so small with him in the vicinity.
It had always been like that. Whenever he appeared in a room, he seemed to command the entire space. It’s like crowds parted for him and rooms went silent to acknowledge his presence. He didn’t even need to speak to announce his presence. His aura was enough.
I always seemed out of breath in his presence and despite the separation and the time that had passed, it didn’t seem like something that had gone away. I tried to calm myself and to steady my breathing.
It was then that he asked me which hospital to take me to. I gave him the name of the really inexpensive hospital I had planned to go to but wasn’t really surprised when he rejected my choice. It was after all in his nature to only get the best, even if he claimed that distance was the issue. If he was just going to take me where he wanted, what was the point in asking anyway? It’s not like he ever listened.
But I knew that if I didn’t lay boundaries now, things would get complicated. “No. That’s too expensive. I couldn’t afford it.”
“What do you mean you can’t afford it? What about all the money you st- got from me? Did you finish it already?”
I gritted my teeth in anger. So that’s what he still thought. Somehow I had clung to some small hope in my heart, a hope that one day he would realize the truth and then he would find me and we’d be together again. That was just another of my dreams that had turned into ashes. If it wasn’t for the life that I was just about to let into this world, I really would have nothing. But what hurt more, is that I wouldn’t be able to give my child the life I had always dreamed for him. One full of light and happiness and people who loved him without conditions and restraints.
What in hell did I ever see in this man that made me fall so desperately in love with him? He’s just so infuriating!
And now we were arguing, as we always had during our relationship, if that’s what you’d call it. At first, in the beginning of our relationship, everything was perfect. We enjoyed each other’s company and never argued. Plus, the sex was – phenomenal to say the least. We just couldn’t get enough of each other. The amount of attention he had laved on me had made me feel so special: like the queen of his heart. Corny yes, but it was how I had felt.
Everything was perfect. But it was too good to be true. Eventually, everything went downhill.
The argument didn’t last long. It seemed not even her child liked those arguments. He wanted to be let out. This time, the pain was much worse. I could hardly breathe, let alone think. I dug my nails into the plush seat and shut my eyes out tightly. How the hell did anyone ever get through child birth?
I barely felt myself being lifted out of the car. Barely heard the noises around me as people rushed about at Damien’s bar
ked orders. I grasped at the first thing my hands could reach, which just happened to be Damien himself. I clawed my hands into him, feeling the pain go through me. But even in the dark recesses of my mind, only one thought took root, I didn’t want to be alone, to go through this alone. And so I held onto Damien as tightly as I could and refused to let go.
The next time my vision cleared, and I could breathe better, I realized that I was in a bed, in a room that seemed more like a theatre. Oh my God! It was a theatre! That must mean that it was time….
A man in surgical scrubs lifted his head. “Hello, Miss Snow. I’m Doctor Carter and I will be your doctor during your stay here. Now, you’re already crowning, so we’ll have to save the pleasantries for later. All I want you to do is focus on your breathing and to push hard, whenever the next wave of contractions come. Okay?”
I nodded and continued my inspection of the brightly lit room. There was something, or rather someone missing.
“Where is Damien?”
“Mr. Knight is right outside. I was informed that he is not the father of the baby. He’ll be with you as soon as you are settled down after delivering the baby.”
I understood what he was saying, and why he said it, but I just didn’t care. I was the one who had to go through labor, and I refused to do it alone. And so, even as the pangs of pain began to hit, I declared, “Have him come in. I need him here.”
And then began to push. I had always thought that as soon as you started to push, the baby would automatically come out, but it seemed to not to be the case. After just five minutes, I was exhausted. I didn’t think I could do any more. But then I felt Damien’s warm familiar hands; one stroke my cheek, while the other held my hand.
“You can do this, Nikki. I’m here.”
And as if that was all I had been waiting for, when the next wave of contractions hit, I pushed with all of my might, till I heard the wails of my baby.
“It’s a boy!” The Doctor said, but I didn’t care all I wanted to do was hold my child in my arms. As if reading my mind, Damien let go of me, and came back a few minutes later with a pink bundle wrapped in a towel.
