by Kahlin Rogue
………………
After strict instructions from my driver over the phone and several failed attempts, I finally managed to change Dylan’s diaper. I let out a huge relief, when I managed to finish my first attempt at a diaper change without him peeing all over me.
He stopped crying and started staring at me with his huge round blue eyes. It was almost as if he was assessing me. He lifted his tiny arm as if trying to touch my face. I took his small hand in mine and lifted it to my face. After a few seconds, his eyes seemed to light up, like he had given his stamp of approval. I let out a breath I didn’t know I had held. It seems that I had been nervous that he wouldn’t approve of me.
I sat down and started doing some face and hand tricks that I had some parents do with their kids. Dylan seemed to love them. He kept showing me his baby grin and trying to grab my hand. To him it must have seemed like I was performing magic. Soon, his eyes were droopy, so I started rocking him till he went back to sleep. I lay him in the bassinet lying on the table. Then I went about cleaning the mess I had made while trying to change his diaper.
My driver had informed me that he might get hungry soon, and that I should be ready when that happened. So I went into the again tiny kitchen, prowling for baby food. I searched for bottles, or bottled milk or even some formula, but there was nothing. That left only one option. It seemed that Nikki preferred to breastfeed her baby.
When Dylan woke up wailing because of an empty stomach, I would have to raise Nikki from her slumber. And right on cue, Dylan started wailing. He had woken up and needed to be fed.
Nikki
“Hey, Nikki. You need to wake up…”
I was currently enjoying my dream, where a gorgeous prince, who just happened to have Damien’s voice and face, was trying to wake her up. The sleep may have been sweet, but the man was delicious. So I gave in to the voice and opened my eyes. It took a moment to orient my mind, but when I realized that I wasn’t hallucinating and that Damien really was there, I jumped up in shock.
“What are you doing here?” Then, I realized that Dylan wasn’t next to me. “Where’s Dylan? Where did you take him? Give me back my son.”
A flash of hurt crossed his eyes, but only for a moment. “I didn’t realize how badly you thought of me.”
I didn’t know what to say. That had been quite harsh and insulting but he deserved a lot worse.
“Dylan woke up earlier and I tended to him while you slept.”
That statement riled me up. How the hell did he get into my apartment and what gave him the right to act like he was doing her a favor. And dare he insinuate that I was not a good mother; that I could just sleep while my baby was tended by others.
However, having just woken up, I was not the mood to argue. I stared at him and his big-ass ego waiting for him to continue.
“Dylan’s hungry and seeing as you have no bottles or formula, I figured you do it the natural way. So I woke you up.”
“Where is he?”
Damien walked away and came back holding my beautiful baby. Immediately after handing him to me, he walked away. Probably to go back to his office. After feeding Dylan and again setting him down for another nap, I walked out into the living room.
Damien hadn’t left. In fact, he was very cozily seated on the couch, on his phone. His phone rang, and he answered. “What! When?.....”
Something must have gone wrong with one of his deals. At least now he would leave my apartment.
When he got off the phone, he turned to me with a frown marring his perfect face.
“You should go. No one’s stopping you.”
When he looked at me as if confused, I added, “Your call. I’m assuming it’s work. You should go deal with the problem.”
“I don’t know why you assumed it’s work, but it’s not. It’s about you actually. You may need to sit down for this because I am assuming you haven’t read the papers.”
Hearing his tone, I didn’t bother arguing. I just sat down and waited to hear what was so upsetting.
“First of all, I apologize. It’s my fault you are in this position.”
Wait, was he apologizing, for what he did to me?
“I brought back the spotlight on you, even though you’ve always wanted nothing to do with a life like mine.”
Oh! It was too good to be true. He’d never apologize for that. He thinks that what he did was right, and he wouldn’t take back what he did. Feeling slightly angry at myself for holding out hope, I just wanted him to get over what he was going to say and leave. “Could you hurry up. I don’t have time for all this.”
He sighed and went on, “It seems the press caught wind of you giving birth and me being the one who drove you there. There are now rumors and speculations in the papers about Dylan and his possible connection to me. They may have even included some insulting remarks about it all. What’s worse, is that there are currently a dozen or some reporters outside this building. They seem to have found out somehow, that I was here.”
I stared at him, at a loss for words. “What!” I managed to squeak the word out. Suddenly, my temper spiked and I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Get out of my house. I don’t want to see you here.”
“Wait Nikki, we have to talk about this. I can send some men to secure you until this news dies down…”
“I said leave.”
“Nikki,…”
“No! Don’t you dare. Every time you appear in my life, something goes wrong. You only think of yourself. If you hadn’t come looking for me the other day, just to hurl insults at me, we wouldn’t be in this situation. You think you can just walk back into my life like nothing happened and start giving instructions like you own me? No!
And then today, you just walk into my house uninvited with only God knows what means, take my baby and do God knows what and then pretend like nothing’s wrong! You don’t have any right in me or my son’s life. And what makes you think I’d even accept your help after everything you did to me?
I am not that desperate. In fact the feelings I have towards you is spite and hate. So pardon me, but I’d appreciate it if you just leave right now and never come back. I’m not going to return to you in any way, contractual or even for help. So just leave.”
Damien just looked at me, not appearing to have even flinched from my rant. After moments of being quiet, he grabbed his coat jacket, which he had taken off and put on the couch, grabbed his phone and walked to the door. He opened the door, but before he walked out, he turned to me.
“Don’t let your pride and emotions or the past ruin your son’s life. You claim he is my son, my blood, yet you’re too selfish to even let me know him. I hope you don’t regret your decision.” Then he was gone, vanished just as he had appeared.
I closed the door and went back to Dylan. I stared into his sleeping content face.
“I’m sorry son, but one day you’ll understand why I had to do that.” Yet even as I spoke the words, I could feel a stabbing in my chest, like I had just made a very bad mistake. One that would cost me.
Nikki
It had been three weeks since that fateful day. Three weeks of not seeing or hearing from Damien. Three weeks of being hounded by the paparazzi while caring for a new-born. Three weeks of hell.
I had sworn never to return, never to give in, because my pride was all I had left. Yet my pride was standing in the way of my son’s future. And my son was all that mattered.
After a few days, I had come to realize that I really was putting my feelings and emotions ahead of my son’s future. I was being proud and selfish and not thinking about Dylan’s future and stability at all.
I had realized that Damien was right and that I really needed his help. But I wasn’t about to go ahead and admit that to him. I had really tried to take care of Dylan and keep sane all on my own.
When Dylan had gotten sick, I had paid for the best medical care without batting an eyelash. I had made sure that with whatever little money I had saved u
p, Dylan got whatever he needed. It was with no surprise then that I hadn’t had enough money for the rent that month, especially since the landlord had just increased the amount.
I had managed to get an allowance of a week within which I would have to pay the full amount, but it seems that the landlord got a change of heart after two days.
I had taken Dylan for a stroll in the nearby park. When we got back, I found my things thrown out of my apartment and the door chained shut. I tried to find another place nearby because that was the only area where I could afford rent, but to no avail. Either they were full, or they just didn’t want the attention of the press.
And so, being without any friends or family, I hailed a cab and with Dylan and our meager things that could fit into two suitcases, travelled to the house where I had lost my dignity. The house in which I had suffered immeasurable pain and loss. The house which held both my happiness and my destruction. Damien’s house.
I got out of the car, and carrying Dylan in arms as my lifeline, I walked up the to the door and knocked. It didn’t take long for a bewildered Damien to answer the door.
“Nikki. What are you doing here?”
I took in a deep breath knowing that my next words would change everything. Then I forced a smile and said, “Where do I sign?”
Just as I said those words I realized that I had done the one thing that I had sworn I would never do.
I had returned to him.
Interested in reading more of Damien’s and Nikki’s story?
Watch out for the next book:
Break Me (Book 2 in Love Gone Rogue Series)
By Kahlin Rogue.
