by Jenn Marlow
I hated feeling enclosed.
I wasn’t used to it, and I certainly never wanted to be. New Yorker or not.
I honestly couldn’t believe how packed it was, and I could do nothing but thank my lucky stars that I had been able to gain a position closer to the stage, and therefore closer to the backstage door.
Polly really had done phenomenally and I wanted her to know how much it meant to me to actually get to see her perform.
“So what did you think?” a voice called from behind me, just before I felt a hand grasp at my shoulder. I whipped my head around and was almost surprised at who it was. It was Polly’s brother. Finally being social. Figures, when I didn’t want him to be, he was going to be social.
“I loved it!” I shouted over the crowd’s noise. “But I really need to get back stage and tell your sister that!”
“Oh!” he yelled, leaning in closer to my face. I moved back, abruptly. I didn’t like men—or anyone, for that matter—coming in at me without warning like that. However, when I realized he was only getting closer so that I could hear him over the noise, I calmed myself. “She is leaving right after with all of her cast mates. She told me to tell you not to worry about coming back stage and that she’d just see you at home tomorrow when you get back from Derek’s.”
I blinked.
I wasn’t going to get to congratulate her until the next day?
To say that I was bummed would be an incredible understatement.
And it remained that way throughout the entire car ride to Derek’s penthouse apartment.
“You’re going to have to cheer up,” he said after we dropped Jim and Abigail off at their home.
“I know. I just wanted to tell her how great she did.”
“She’s having fun tonight; let her enjoy it!” he replied.
I knew he was right. I knew he was. I knew it was her night, and that it was about what she wanted… and I knew that I selfishly wanted to feel like a better friend by telling her just how wonderful she was, and how wonderful she did.
But that’s exactly what it was; it was selfish.
“Fredrick, you’ve been quiet all night.” I said. “Did you like the play?”
I watched, as he smiled in the rearview mirror. “Definitely. It reminded me of my wife.”
“How so?” I asked.
“She used to climb mountains—not to that extreme, but she was a little adventurer.”
I smiled. I didn’t even know that Fredrick had been married before.
In fact, I didn’t really know anything about Fredrick, and because of that, I couldn’t help but make a mental note to get to know him more. I wanted to know such a wonderful, genuine man, especially considering he was one of the only people that Derek actually loved and trusted.
The mental note had to be pushed to the back burner though…because as soon as I made it, I noticed Derek looking incredibly pale and leaning against the car’s seat almost weakly.
“I’m tired,” he sighed, nuzzling into the seat.
“I know,” I said, my brows lowering in sadness. “Don’t forget you have a doctor’s appointment in the morning,” I reminded him, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I heard him groan aloud.
“Yeah, yeah…” He grumbled, as he nuzzled his head further the car’s seat.
I could only hope that it wasn’t going to be a long ride. He really needed rest.
Chapter 10
I hated to say it, which is why I never did, but I also hated to feel it.
But I was weary of his stepbrother. I was weary of his doctor. I was weary of him almost completely.
Something was off about him. Something seemed messed up. And I was hardly ever wrong. There was something about him that I didn’t like, and I wasn’t sure if he was just a closet pervert, or if there was something even worse underneath.
Sure, he seemed nice enough, but there was something about the glint in his eye, the smile across his lips, and the cockiness in his voice… it was all just a little too much to process, and too much to enjoy.
He wasn’t like Derek.
Derek was good-looking, cocky, annoying to a core, but this man was different. It was like he was all of those things, but he also tried to hide it. Derek was at least outward with his narcissism.
Dr. Freeman pretended it didn’t exist.
Yet, I could tell it did.
Every time he spoke, I could hear it. He felt like the smartest man in the room, and he wanted to brag about it. In fact, it almost seemed important for him to be the most intelligent person in the room.
And the more he spoke, the more annoyed I got with him, which made the entire appointment almost completely unbearable.
Luckily for me, though, I was excused less than half way through so that Derek could go on with his treatment. Although I wanted to be there for Derek, I was glad that I didn’t have to listen to any more of his smugness.
Since I was so thankful that I didn’t have to listen to him, the appointment went pretty quickly for the most part. I thought that because of that, Derek might be able to get into bed earlier and rest for once.
Especially after the grueling treatments I knew he underwent.
But it was clear, as soon as we got into the car, that that wasn’t going to be the case. He had other plans. Fredrick was driving in a direction opposite of Derek’s penthouse apartment.
We were headed out of the city.
“Where are we going?” I asked, my eyes fixated out the window.
“You’ll see.” Derek smirked.
And see I did.
We drove for an hour outside of the city, to a rich neighborhood that I knew had to belong to his family. I knew because as soon as we crossed into the gate, there was a giant SHOLTS sign, as if advertising that the premises was owned by filthy rich people.
Such an advertisement made me feel a bit weary of meeting his family, but as soon as I saw his mother, I knew that my weariness was misplaced.
She was gorgeous. Short, with a curvy figure, kind demeanor, and soft flowy clothing which seemed to highlight her body without over-embellishing it, she was stunning. Her movements were fluid, as she walked down the stairs, into the foyer, towards me. With classy whitish, grey-colored hair, perfectly done, light makeup, which seemed to accentuate her features perfectly, the woman looked like she could have been related to Helen Mirren.
“I’m Lauren.” The gorgeous older lady extended her hand out to me, and I took it graciously. If the word graceful and poised needed a picture beside it for a description, I felt that this woman would be a perfect candidate.
She smiled sincerely up at me, her small stature endearing, and I could tell immediately that she was a kind person.
“It’s really nice to meet you,” she continued, her tone sweet but direct.
“So nice to finally meet you!” I nearly squealed, excited to finally meet his family.
“Yeah, she’s already basically stalked you guys,” Derek choked out in quite the un-amusing way.
“I did research before I started working for you.” I rolled my eyes, feeling suddenly self-conscious. I crossed my arms over my chest and breathed in deeply, embarrassed.
“You’re the Zoe he hired for his Public Relations Officer?” a man questioned, coming into the foyer from the living room.
“Apologies. I was on the phone,” he said in very gentlemanly fashion.
He was also grey, but very young-looking in the face. He had a nice, athletic physique and what looked like an incredible eye for style. He wore a nice, high-quality green cashmere sweater over, from what I could tell, was a very expensive purple button-down shirt, and his hair was cut almost perfectly. He seemed to have very few flaws aesthetically, and it was funny because he didn’t look like anyone from any of the photos that I had seen of his family.
I never asked him to point out who was whom, but even if he had, I still wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint this man. I might have seen him before, but he certainly didn’t look t
he same if I had.
And I just assumed that he was likely Derek’s stepfather.
“I thought we could all go out to the courtyard for dinner.” He smiled, glancing out of the large French doorway at the far side of the living room, which could be seen perfectly from the foyer. The French door was extravagant in and of itself, but where it led was the real prize. That’s where he was gesturing to. I was captivated; almost as captivated as I was when I looked out Derek’s penthouse windows.
There was a fountain in the distance, with greenery on all sides, stretching as far as the eye could see. There were trees lined up in a perfect line, all the way to the end, and there was a high hedge enclosing it all.
What a backyard, I thought.
Back at home, there would be horses and cows on that land. There wouldn’t just be a fountain in the center.
“That sounds great!” Lauren smiled at me, just before grabbing my hand to lead me through the large living room towards the French doors. She opened up the doors and gestured for me to go ahead; and Derek and the older gentleman followed closely behind.
I did wonder, as I exited the home, how much thought he had put into everything. I wondered if he was going to tell them the truth, if he was going to tell them the bad news. Part of me hoped he wouldn’t because I honestly wasn’t sure how I would react. I wasn’t sure how awkward it would be for me to be there during such an emotionally impactful moment.
And the entire walk towards the small little dining area he had set up in the courtyard was filled with stomach pitting nerves. The dinner was lovely though. It looked like a beautiful cherry-glazed rack of lamb, with several vegetables on the side, and I almost dug in as soon as we had a seat, but I knew better.
These people weren’t like my family.
They were much more dignified.
They were much more poised.
If I just reached in like I was at a buffet, I knew that I’d look silly…but man, I wanted to.
I was starving.
Doctor’s appointments with Derek were draining on me as well. I hadn’t the opportunity to actually eat anything or take a rest even.
“I don’t think I introduced myself to you earlier, Zoe.” The man’s voice was soft and pleasant, as he leaned over the table and grabbed a helping of vegetables “But I’m Joseph, Derek’s father.”
“I just assumed that you were his stepfather,” I blurted, without really meaning to, more so caught off guard because I was so excited that he had dug in before my stomach’s growl got the better of me.
I felt bad blurting something like that out though. I also felt bad for assuming. However, the only reason I did was because he didn’t look like any of the photos of his father, nor was it usual to come across parents that got along as well as his. Especially for divorced people. They seemed to have remained close. To me that was strange, but it definitely wasn’t unwelcome. It was just an oddity…at least where I came from.
I came from a world where divorce meant “my ex is a scumbag”.
“Oh, no—no, no.” His mother was direct in her response, shaking her head from side to side. “I never remarried.
“I did,” his father sighed. “My wife couldn’t make it today.”
“Oh, yeah?” I asked, shoveling a fork-full of vegetables in my mouth. “Where is she?” I didn’t even bother to swallow before blurting out the question. I couldn’t believe I had found the guts—or perhaps stupidity—to even begin to ask a question such as that one.
I sat there, looking wide-eyed from person to person, not only in disbelief on what I had just asked but recounting it over and over again.
“She’s working.” His response was direct, almost bitter in nature, but it seemed sincere enough. The only reason I questioned it was because of Lauren’s facial expression. It seemed to tell the entire story.
“She’s always working,” she scoffed. “Anything so that she doesn’t have to actually spend time with you.”
I couldn’t tell if she was just a bitter ex-wife, or if it was true… until I watched him stiffen and cringe.
It wasn’t a cringing-because-you’re-crazy type of cringe. It was a cringing-because-I’m-uncomfortable-talking-about-this-or-admitting-it-to-myself type of cringe.
“It isn’t like that.” He was defending his absent wife.
“It is like that!” she snapped, jumping up from the table.
“Now if you’d excuse me.” She cleared her throat, as if she was hoping that it might regain some of her resolve.
We watched, as she started off through the center of the courtyard back towards the family’s home.
“Well, damn…,” Joseph said and sighed, just before his attention was caught by something else.
I didn’t know what it was that seemed to catch his attention until I turned my head, and saw Fredrick standing just behind me.
“Hey, Fredrick!” Joseph shouted, excitedly. “Sit! Sit! Help us eat all of this!”
And with a bright smile, he obliged.
“Dad,” Derek said. “I think we’re going to walk the courtyard for a moment.”
Joseph nodded, but I wanted nothing more than to protest.
I was hungry!
And he should have been eating too!
But I knew he wouldn’t let me starve. I knew that I would have opportunity to eat later. Besides, the grounds were so beautiful and the evening air so lovely that I really didn’t want such an experience to go to waste.
So, of course, I said nothing.
There was a light breeze that seemed to drift through the perfectly aligned trees surveying the well-maintained, brilliantly green lawn. I could hear the leaves rustle, and a small chill rose the flesh of my arms. It tickled and almost felt a bit welcoming.
The small brush of wind seemed to flip my hair, and I looked up into the sky, relishing in the evening.
The moon was beginning to shine out although the sun hadn’t completely gone down.
“So your dad was excited to see Fredrick,” I said, breaking the silence. I didn’t really want to talk about whatever it was that happened between his parents just a moment before. And I certainly didn’t want to bring up his illness once again. The fact that he felt like shit each and every day was enough reminder.
He could tell his family in his own time.
“Oh, yeah. Everyone loves Fredrick.” He smiled, grabbing my hand firmly.
“I really love Fredrick,” I said, grinning ear to ear. “He seems so in tune to your family dynamics.”
“Well, he is,” he said, grabbing my hand gently, as we strolled through the courtyard. “He’s been in my family for a really long time. He is my family.”
“So, he was your grandfather’s best friend?” I asked, wondering what that meant exactly.
“He was,” he said, almost seriously before halting his movements. “He took over the role of my grandfather when he passed; I was only a boy.”
“And the two of you have been thick as thieves ever since?” I laughed, giving him the opportunity to drop the subject of his grandfather’s death.
“He’s my Alfred,” he said plainly, shoveling the fruit into his mouth. It was the first time that I had seen him eat in days.
“Your Alfred?” I asked, confused.
“The Alfred to my Batman.” He smiled up at me, popping another grape into his mouth.
I scoffed. “Batman is a little overkill, don't ya think?”
“What do you mean?!” he shouted, feigning offense.
“I mean, you’re definitely no Bruce Wayne,” I laughed.
“I’m totally Bruce Wayne!” he defended. “I’m attractive, young, mysterious, rich, brilliant….” He was counting on his fingers, as he continued listing qualities.
I rolled my eyes. “Not to toot your own horn or anything, right?”
“Definitely not.” He smirked. “So you met mine; when do I get to meet yours?” he asked, a slight blush rising to his cheeks.
“Oh, so this is a 'I’ll show yo
u mine if you show me yours’ type of deal?” I asked, amused, my eyebrow raising in a questioning fashion.
“Definitely! I’ll always play that game with you if you’re willing,” he said with a smirk, just before wiggling his brows suggestively. “See, you're not the only one who can do things with their eyebrows.”
I laughed.
“Okay, well, can we go back and eat now?” I said, wiggling my brows suggestively, mocking him.
Chapter 11
It seemed like Derek was healthy more than he was sick, which was really strange from everything that I read in regards to cancer patients.
There were times that I really couldn’t believe he was sick, actually.
He ran, jumped, worked consistently, had sex, and basically acted completely normal.
But then, other times, that ideology quickly changed.
And even though they were rare, they were terrible.
So terrible that I questioned if I could even handle it much longer; if I could be the rock that he needed me to be.
One day, his frail body crumpled over and he collapsed to the floor, shaking violently, as bouts of vomit spewed from his shivering mouth.
I couldn’t move. I was frozen, like stone, as I watched in horror.
His poor body shook with every breath and with every breath more vomit spewed from him. He groaned out in a pitiful fit of exhaustion, and I looked to him in desperation, as I stood there, completely helpless.
“Go….” was all I heard through the sounds of vomiting, and I knew that he was telling me to leave.
But I wouldn’t listen.
Instead, it had the opposite effect on me.
Instead of prompting me to leave, it actually gave me the courage that I needed to move towards him and lift his pitiful form up off the hardwood floor.
I wasn’t going to respond to him; and I wasn’t going to pity him. I was just going to be there for him.
I kneeled beside him, grabbed his head, cradling it in my lap as he continued to vomit onto the floor below us. I didn’t even mind that some of it splattered on my shoes. All that mattered was that I had to stay; and that I had to hold him.
