“Our little talk didn’t go so great. She walked away from me,” I say tightly.
He sighs. “I figured that would happen. She was pretty upset.”
“Yeah,” I say as I watch her walk into the crowd and out of my vision. “I love her. And for the second time in my life, I just watched her walk away from me. Do you know how that feels?” He doesn’t answer, and I’m not sure if it’s due to the company surrounding him or if it’s just ‘cause he doesn’t want to answer. “Like shit! I never wanted to keep secrets from her. You made me tell you what happened, and you promised to be discreet and look where that got me.” Fuck, I know it’s not his fault. It’s Conner’s, but I can’t blame him. I knew he would find a way to fuck it up. She was right; I put myself in this position by telling him in the first place.
“I can fix it,” he finally says.
“Don’t bother,” I say and then hang up.
As I put my phone in my pocket, it rings. I expect it to be Timothy but see that it’s my contact from the other day. “You’d better have some good news,” I say in greeting.
“Well, hello to you too,” he says, and I can hear his smile in his voice.
“Do you have something for me or not?” I snap.
“Geez.” He draws out the word. “I found something. And he is being picked up as we speak.”
“How long?” I ask.
“Max two years,” he answers.
“Not what I wanted but better than nothing,” I say flatly.
“I did my best.”
“It was enough. Thanks,” I say and hang up. At least one good thing came out of this day.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
BECCA
I walk into our apartment and make my way to my bedroom. I fall onto my bed and cry into my comforter.
I hear my bedroom door open and then Ashlyn’s voice. “Becca?”
I roll over onto my back and wipe my wet cheeks but say nothing. Ashlyn walks in and sits down beside me. “Do you want to talk?”
I sit up and sigh. I do. I need someone to talk to, and Ashlyn will understand. “I ran into Conner today, and he told me to tell my dad to stay away from him. So I went up to his work, but he is out of town. Ryder’s assistant called my dad, and then he called me, and he told me that Jaycent had told him last week that Conner was being paid to date me.”
Her eyes widen. “He was what?” she snaps. “Your dad was paying him?” she demands.
I shake my head. “I forgot you didn’t know.” I sigh.
“Who the fuck was paying him?” she snaps.
“My mother.”
“What the fuck, Becca? For how long?” she demands.
“Four years,” I whisper. She gasps and goes to speak, but I lift my hand. “Please let me finish.” She closes her mouth, and her lips thin. “Well, Jaycent had found out I guess back in Panama when he beat Conner up in the bathroom. And then after Conner laid hands on you here, Jaycent went to my dad and asked him to take care of it. Well, I still hadn’t known.”
“When did you find out?” she asks through gritted teeth.
“The night on Ryder’s boat. Vicki told me.”
“That bitch knew about it?” she snaps. “Who the fuck told her?”
“My mom.” She lets out a long breath. “I guess my mom wasn’t secretive about it.”
“Have you spoken to her about it?” I nod. “And did she deny it?”
I shake my head. “She said that Conner was what I needed.”
“Such a bitch,” she growls, and I have to agree. “So then what happened?”
“I broke up with Jaycent.”
“Why would you do that?” she asks wide-eyed. “You love him.”
“And I thought I loved Conner but look at how horrible that decision was.” I sigh.
“Yeah, but they’re not the same.” She takes my hand. “I don’t agree with what Jaycent did, but he was just trying to protect you.” She gives me a soft smile. “And Conner was only about himself.”
“Maybe,” I say and hang my head.
“Hey.” She grabs my hand. “How about we heat some leftovers and watch Top Gun. Girls’ night?”
I love that she’s smiling at me. That for once, since she and Ryder broke up, she actually looks okay. I nod.
Her smile fades, and her eyes soften. “I’m so sorry, Becca.”
“For what?” I ask.
“For everything you’re going through. I should have been there for you and not so wrapped up in Ryder. I had no idea—”
“No, don’t do that to yourself,” I interrupt her. “You’re a great friend. Don’t think you’re not. You’ve always been there for me.”
She nods but doesn’t look convinced. And a thought hits me. “What were you going to say to me on the boat that night before Ryder came in and interrupted you?”
She lets go of my hand and sits back. “When Vicki realized who I was, she said that your mother had mentioned me. She said that I pulled you down. And that I was beneath all of you. And I wanted to apologize if you felt that way,” she says softly.
“What?” I grab her hand again. “No, Ashlyn. That’s not even close to the truth,” I tell her. She looks up at me, and I sigh. “You are the best friend I’ve ever had. You have always been there for me. More than anyone else ever has. I just told you that my mother was paying my boyfriend to be with me. So don’t believe anything she says.”
She nods. “I just ... Ryder got mad at me because I told him that she was right. I don’t fit into your guys’ world. And what she said made some sense.”
“Ashlyn, you are the best thing about my world,” I say, and her eyes fill with unshed tears. “You and your parents have taught me so much that I could never repay you.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” she whispers.
“That’s not how I see it,” I add with a soft smile. “I was in a new place scared to death with a man who at the time didn’t give two shits about me. You took me in, and you all showed me what life was supposed to be about. To me, that means everything.”
**
The next evening, I’m sitting on the couch with Ashlyn, watching Top Gun again for the third time this week. She seems a little better than yesterday, but she still came home from work and changed right into her pjs, and I don’t see her eat much. But I can tell she’s trying. I’m just not sure if it’s for me or herself.
She gets up to go to her room when we hear her phone ring, and then there’s a knock on the door. I get up and go answer it. “Dad?” I say in surprise as he stands there, dressed in a three-piece black suit and white tie. His hands crossed in front of him and his dark hair slicked to the side. “What are you doing here?”
He doesn’t respond but asks, “May I come in?”
“Of course,” I say, stepping out of his way.
He comes to a stop in the foyer and looks around at the open kitchen and dining room. Then he looks at the living room. “The place looks nice.”
“Mom decorated it,” I say flatly, and he says nothing.
“We need a bottle of wine,” Ashlyn says as she walks in from down the hall. “Oh, Mr. O’Kane,” she says as she spots him. I’m just glad she’s still dressed in her pajama pants.
“Hello, Ashlyn.”
“Hello, sir,” she says, looking from me to him. “I’ll give you guys some space ...”
“No need. I’m here to see you too.” Her brows rise. “May we?” He gestures to the living room.
I nod, and Ashlyn does the same. We make our way over to the couches, and Ashlyn and I sit side by side while my father picks the couch across from us. “What are you doing here, Dad?” I come out and ask.
He undoes the bottom button of his suit jacket and sits back on the couch. “I just wanted to let you know that you won’t be having problems with Conner anymore.”
“What did you do to him?” I ask.
“Nothing short of killing him will do,” Ashlyn chimes in.
My father laughs at her statemen
t, and I just look at her wide-eyed. “The less you know, the better,” he says, and she smiles for the first time since the whole Ryder and Bradley incident. “Honey, I think you should call Jaycent.” He changes the subject.
I snort. “Now all of a sudden you’re on his side?”
He sighs. “I didn’t realize how unhappy you were. And that’s my fault.” He looks around my apartment and frowns as if he too doesn’t like it. “I never thought you would hate this apartment. I bought it thinking you would be safe. That you would be near my office and close to your brother in case you needed anything. If you want to sell it, then I’ll help you do just that.” I shift in my seat as I avoid looking over at Ashlyn. She knows how we ended up living here, but I haven’t mentioned moving out. I would never move and leave her stranded. “But now I see that you have someone else to help take care of you, and that person is Jaycent. Becca, don’t be mad at him for telling me about Conner.”
“He should have told me,” I argue.
“I’m not saying he shouldn’t have, but I’m also saying that he realized the situation was bigger than him. And all I want is for you to be safe. And that’s exactly what he did. I just want what is best for you, and Jaycent coming to me showed that he is it.”
I swallow. “So you condone him keeping secrets from me?”
He shakes his head. “I condone a man willing to do whatever it takes him to keep the woman he loves safe.”I sigh. “Give him a chance.”
“A chance to what? Prove he’s not like Conner.”
“You know he’s not like Conner,” he responds flatly.
I lift my hand and rub my forehead. “I did but—”
“But nothing,” Ashlyn interrupts me. I look over at her. And she gives me a soft smile. “He’s the one you’ve always wanted. Don’t allow Conner to take something else away from you, Becca. He doesn’t deserve that much credit.”
I bite my bottom lip as her words sink in. She’s right. Why let Conner take one more thing that I want? I just want to be happy, and Jaycent is my happiness. I smile. “Okay. I’ll call him.”
“He’s outside your door,” my father says, and I look at him. “I made the call for you.”
My smile widens, and Ashlyn stands. “I’ll let you guys be alone ...”
“Actually”—my father stands—“I would like to talk to you, Ashlyn. If you don’t mind?”
She nods and then sits down slowly. He looks at me. “Alone.”
JAYCENT
I stand outside her door when it opens. Becca steps out, letting it shut behind her. Her dark hair is up in a messy bun, and she wears a white tank top with sweatpants. She comes to a stop a few feet from me and just stands there.
“Hey,” I say softly.
“Hey,” she responds, looking down at the floor.
I run a hand through my hair nervously. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I really didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She nods. “I know. It’s just ... hard to swallow.”
“I’m not like him,” I say defensively.
She sighs. “I didn’t mean that.”
I step to her, and I find a small victory in the fact she doesn’t step back. “I’m not trying to upset you. Or hurt you.” I reach up and cup her face, and she leans into it. “I love you, Becca,” I say, and her lips part. “I’ve loved you for what has felt like forever, and I’m trying here. I truly am, but it just seems to be one thing after another.” She opens her mouth, but I continue. “I want you to be happy, and if that means I have to take control of a situation and do it the best way I see fit, I will. And I’m not going to apologize for that.” She sighs heavily, knowing there’s nothing she can do about that. “I see you as my equal. As a woman who has big dreams and can change the world, and I’ll be damned if I let anyone stop you from achieving just that.”
“You shouldn’t have that much faith in me,” she whispers.
“You shouldn’t have that little faith in yourself,” I say, moving my hand from her cheek to the back of her neck. She leans her head back and looks up at me with her soft green eyes. “If you don’t want to see me anymore, I understand, but I’m also willing to prove to you that I can be what I think you deserve. And that is someone willing to fight for you. And this time, I’m not going to walk away so easily.”
I hold my breath, waiting for her to ask for the key she just gave me the other day. Or for her to push me away like she has before. Either way, I’m not going without a fight. But instead, she pushes into me, and her lips smile. “I love you too, Jaycent.”
I lean down and press my lips to hers. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I grip her tightly. I deepen the kiss, and she moans when the door to her apartment opens. She pulls away, and I sigh. I’m tired of getting interrupted. She really needs to move in with me soon.
“I see you two have made up,” her father says as he steps into the hallway.
“Yes,” she says, turning to face him. Then she walks over to him. She wraps her arms around him, and he pats her on the back awkwardly. “Thanks, Dad. For everything.” Then she pulls away.
He nods. “I’m here to help.” Then he walks over to me and reaches out his right hand.
I shake it. “Thanks, sir.” After I called him this morning and informed him about Conner, he said he needed me to meet him here tonight, so here I am. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say or what his plan was. All I knew was that I needed to get her back. And if he was willing to help, I’d take it.
“You’re welcome,” he says and then walks over to the elevator. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
We walk inside the apartment with Becca laughing and me smiling like a fool just as Ashlyn is coming down the hallway, dressed in a pair of denim shorts and a black t-shirt. She has black heels to match and her purse over her shoulder.
“Where are you going?” Becca asks her.
“I need to go talk to someone,” is all she says. “Don’t wait up for me.” Then she walks right past us and out the front door.
“You think she’s going to go talk to Ryder?” Becca asks me with a smile on her face. “My father wanted to speak to her privately. It had to be about Ryder, right?”
“I would think so,” I say although it could have been about Talia’s. I don’t voice that thought, though.
She runs to me and jumps up as I open my arms. I spin her around, and she laughs. It’s the greatest sound I’ve ever heard. “Take me to bed, baby.”
**
I wake the following morning to the sound of pots and pans banging from the kitchen. I manage to remove my arm out from underneath Becca’s neck and slide out of bed.
I slip on a shirt and sweatpants before I head toward the kitchen. “Son of a bitch.”
“Everything okay?” I ask, entering the kitchen.
Ashlyn stands in front of the stove. A plate full of burned pancakes on one plate and burned bacon on another.
She tosses the spatula onto the countertop, places her hands on either side of her, and hangs her head. “Yeah,” she says, sounding defeated. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“I needed to get up anyway,” I tell her. “Can I help you with something?”
She lifts her head and looks at me. I see unshed tears in her eyes. She looks away from me and shakes her head.
“I, uh, will leave you alone ...” I trail off, not knowing what to really say to her.
“Thank you,” she says, stopping me from leaving the kitchen.
“For what?” I ask frowning.
She looks down at the floor. “I went and saw Bradley last night.”
Shit! I close my eyes and sigh; I hope she didn’t do something that she now regrets. “I guess it went badly?” I ask looking at her.
“As well as I had expected.” She licks her lips. “He proposed.”
My brows shoot up, and I look at her ring finger. “And?” I ask when I don’t see the ring I had seen.
“I said no.” She sighs. “He told me that he had knocked on the door to
talk to me again, and you answered and wouldn’t let him in.”
I swallow. “He wanted to see you. But I wouldn’t let him. I’m sorry for stepping in, but you were so upset—”
“Thank you,” she says, interrupting me. “He said you took up for Ryder. That you told him to leave and that Ryder just needed time.” I nod. “And he said that after he thought about what you had said, that maybe I just needed time as well.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t. Ryder and I may have broken up, but I never loved Bradley the way he loved me. And marrying him isn’t the answer to my problems.”
“Have you spoken to Ryder?” I ask, wondering if he had ever called. Or vice versa.
She looks down at her hands. “I did. Once. But he never said a word or called me back.”
Because you were talking to me. How can I break this woman’s heart anymore? I just can’t do it.
“What are you guys doing?”
I spin around to see Becca walking into the kitchen with her robe wrapped around her. “I’m burning shit,” Ashlyn says simply and then laughs at
herself. She picks up the pan and places it in the sink. “I’m running late to work. I’ll just grab something on the way.”
Becca runs a hand through her tangled brown hair. “What do you wanna do tonight after you get off work?”
She pauses on her way to the front door. She looks from me to Becca. “No offense, but I really just wanna be alone.” Becca frowns. “I just need some time to figure out ...” She pauses and sighs heavily. “I just wanna be alone,” she repeats and then turns and walks out the front door.
I turn around and see Becca standing there with her hands on her hips, giving me a look of annoyance. “What?” I ask.
“Bradley was going to propose to her? And you knew?”
Of course, she heard. “Yes. He said that was also why he came here.”
“She told him no?” I nod. She lets out a long breath.
“Maybe we should stay at my house tonight,” I offer, changing the subject.
She frowns. “What kind of friend would I be if I leave her after what happened?”
Myself (Selfish Series, #2) Page 24
