That made Ben smile looking back to Shawn, "What about Jake?"
"What about Jake, huh? Well, I guess I owe him some thanks too, huh?"
"Yeah, because he was there for me, no matter what, if I called, he came."
Shawn gave his neck one more fatherly squeeze and nodding, stated, "I'm glad to hear that. And uh, I need you to know, had I known, as I've stated before, I would have been there for you. Everyday, of your life, I would have been, right there. You and I, father and son - nothing - and I do mean nothing, would have kept me from you."
Ben eyes filled, he nodded, "Thanks for, saying that."
"I say it, because I mean it. And..." Shawn took a deep breath. This had been on his mind ever since his talk with Crystal, "And ... I'm aware, that you know, about my past life here, in porn; Crystal told me that Oscar T., taunted you with it."
"Yeah, I know." Ben looked from him to the ground between his feet.
"I supposed you're ashamed of me now?" Shawn asked.
Ben sat a moment, thinking about it. Not in a hurry to deny or confirm. After a few moments, letting it go through his mind, all that he could think to say at the moment was, "What are you going to do, when grandpa finds out? You know it's only a matter of time, right?" He looked back at Shawn.
The very thought of it, sent a bolt of lightening hot fear through Shawn. He didn't want his father to ever find out. Yet, he knew that he was being unreasonable. It truly was, only a matter of time, and then when it happened, then what? What would he do? How, was he going to face his father, knowing what he'd done, what he'd taken part in. Just to imagine it, made him ill. He sat back in the chair, trying to ease the rush of nausea, staring out at the pool.
Ben sat up gazing with absolute rapt attention, and for the first time, he could actually see - a scared little boy in his father's eyes, his face. To see it, blew him away. And then he thought about Sylvia, the things she said to him about his grandfather. He couldn't accept that his grandfather was anything like the picture she painted of him, but this look on Shawn's face, made him doubt his staunch refusal to see that he might have - just maybe - been mistreated. Then another piece fell into place - there was a reason - that he ran. It suddenly occurred to him, that even though his father was 18 years old, he had indeed, run away from home. For years! Years! In all the time he had been away, it had taken him 14 years to come back home, and then, just for a visit with his wife, Deidre and their toddler daughter, Angela. They hadn't stayed long, just a week. And then 5 years later, he came back again, just him and Angela, that time, once more - for a visit - short and sweet. And finally, the last time he came back, it was to stay. 22 years away, 3 visits, Ben couldn't reason out how that would be, with someone who was cherished and adored, loved and guided by his father; someone like that, didn't - run from him.
"You okay?" He asked Shawn.
Shawn, nodded, then followed it up, "Yeah - I'm okay."
"It's ah, okay you know."
Shawn turned to look at him, "What's okay?"
"Your uh, past - the porn. I don't care, about that. Doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, we all make mistakes, we all do things, that we later regret, right?"
"Yeah." Shawn answered simply.
"I mean, all that really matters, is - well - family. Sticking together, no matter what. We might, argue, fight, get mad at one or the other - irritate one another now and then, but in the end, as McPhersons, we stick together, right? Fathers, sons, brothers, uncles and grandfather, we're in this together. So - that's all that matters." He said slowly. Shawn nodded once more, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "That, those words, that's what grandpa said ... he said that. You're back with us now, the oldest son, that above all else, is the most important thing to grandpa ... not ... the mistakes you made while you were away. You should - tell him. Get it over with." He advised, then stood, "I'm gonna head off to bed now."
Shawn nodded and stood as well, "Thanks for that."
"No problem." Ben smiled, turning away.
"Ben." Shawn called to him.
He looked back, "Give her some time. Right now, she needs to be with me, and her mother. Be her friend first, be there for her when she needs you, and the rest, will happen on it's own. Besides, don't forget you have a girl, Gail, right?"
Ben exhaled, "Not any more - I want Crystal and I'm going to do everything in my power, to get her, be there for her. For the boys."
Shawn nodded, "That's my boy."
Chapter 251
Monday morning, Chicago/Wisconsin...
The phone was ringing.
Vivian turned over with bleary, dry, scratchy eyes - a sure indication that it was not time to be up yet. She squinted to try and focus on the time as she fumbled for the phone. Picking it up, she pressed the talk button, her voice groggy from sleep, "Hello?"
"Oh, you're awake!"
"Jake?" She groaned and then whimpered, turning to her back in bed.
"Yes Jake! I'm getting ready to leave for work! Hey, you make sure-..."
"What time is it?" She interrupted to ask, yawning.
"4:30 - I'm getting ready to head out the door for work. I just called to tell you to make sure-..."
"It's 4:30 Jake? 4:30 in the morning? As in, a.m. 4:30 in the morning?"
"Yeah yeah yeah, listen! You make sure to tell him, Paul to be careful with my truck! Make sure he reports to Sheila and is there to pick you up at the L station when you're off work! And tell him, don't make any more promises to anyone else! I'd like to help more, but dammit, I have to get our home done! Ready for when you come up, so I can't be back and forth there helping other people when our own home is not even livable! What he wants to do up there this week, he's gonna have to be happy with until the house here is done! Once our home is where I'll be satisfied, then - then I don't mind driving up there, helping someone else out, you make sure he knows that, you hear me Lil'girl?!"
A low, soft snore was the reply back.
"VIVIAN!"
His strong deep voice shouting her name startled her awake, "What?!"
"Did you hear anything I just said to you?!" He demanded.
"Uh huh, I heard." She mumbled turning on her side.
"What did I say?"
"What you said, you said what you said." She mumbled, her words barely discernible.
"What was that?" He asked back.
"Ah - ah - Paul, ah - aaaah - aaah, it's 4:30 in the mornin' Jake! I can't be expected to hear nothin' no 4:30 in the morning!" She whined with a tiny, body tantrum, too sleepy to care what he was talking about.
"Vivian! You tell that boy, keep his trap shut! No more lining up more work for me, or him! You hear me! VIVIAN?"
"What?!" She screeched, having another jerky fit in the bed.
"Sit up! Sit up in that bed and listen to what I'm telling you! Sit up right now!"
"You don' loss yo'min' ... I ain't sittin' up nothin', I'm 'bout to hang up this phone on you."
"You hang up this phone on me-..."
"And i's just gone be hung up - tha's all!" She mumbled some more, "Shoot, I'm sleepy."
"Yeah, I can see it now! When you get here, won't be any of that sleeping the day away! It'll be up before the sun, to get our day started." He teased, grinning, now outside on the bike, "Vivian? Vivian Cooke, soon to be McPherson! Wake up and talk to your future husband! Get out of that bed, and tell that boy-..." He threw his head back and roared laughing from the sudden click of the phone. Shaking his head grinning, his stood and stepped on the crank pedal starting the bike, turning it, he roared out of the driveway, a smile on his face, looking forward to the day, she was there and with him for good.
In Chicago, Vivian turned over and went back to sleep.
Then the alarm went off, "What the...?" She murmured looking to see if she'd set it wrong, when to her displeasure, it read in bold red, 6:30! It was time to get up. She whimpered again, there was no way she'd been sleeping two more hours! She lay there whimpering, until her nose caught the dis
tinctive whiff of coffee. Her eyes opened as her mind could not believe it, but it was so, because -he- Jake's son Paul, was at her door. "I think your alarm went off Vivian? I've got coffee on, want me to start breakfast? I don't mind, I was always up first with my mom too, I always made her breakfast, how do you like your eggs?"
Vivian lay looking at the door, wondering what the heck was going on.
"Vivian? You awake?" He called in again.
She knew she'd better answer, "Yeah, I'm up - uh - however you fix them is fine." She called throwing the covers aside, resigned that the day had begun.
By the time she'd gotten into the shower, then back to their room to dress for work, and then out heading towards the kitchen, she was stunned to see, her place set, coffee being poured, and him greeting her with the most adorable smile, she couldn't help but smile back.
"Good morning!" He cheerfully started, "I make - one fantastic omelette and thought, I'd treat you to one to start the day! Have a seat madam - your coffee is nice and hot. Toast is right there, buttered perfect. How's it all look?" He asked, so eager to please.
"Oh my goodness boy, look at you! Your mama has raised you well, for real!"
He couldn't help cheesing bright white teeth at her, blushing a bit, and then, remembering his manners, pulled her chair out for her to sit down. Vivian shook her head in amazement as he pushed it beneath her at the place setting for her. He rushed back around to his place and sat down, looking at her, "Well, go ahead, try it! Be prepared for the..." gesturing with a kiss to his fingertips, *Muah* "...piẻce de rẻsistance!" He enthused, a well executed French accent on the tail of him flexing his brows mannishly.
Vivian giggled as she picked up her fork cutting into the omelette, that was cheesy, with bacon, sausage, mushrooms, finely chopped red peppers and onions falling out and on her fork, scooping it up, she carefully placed the heap in her mouth. It was delicious.
"Eh? Eh? Good huh? Is that good, does that just tickle the tonsils on the way down, yeah? Yeah?"
Vivian was trying to eat and not laugh, "Sir Paul, Mr McPherson, you are going to make some lucky young woman, one heck of a husband." She complimented, enjoying her breakfast with him. He blushed, smiling, "That's what my mom says. She also says, I'm too soft. She's afraid I'm going to fall in love and get my heart broken."
Vivian watched him as he ate and spoke, blushing as he did. She too could see that, he was too kind, too gentle and caring. People always took advantage of that. "You really love your mother, don't you?" She commented.
"Yes yes, she's incredible man. You two will have to get together when you move to Wisconsin, you'll like her, she's like - very forward thinking you know."
"Oh yeah, how? What does she think of me and Jake?"
He grinned, blushed and then said, "She thinks you're going to need all the luck in the world with him. She used to be in love with him, but my mother is the type not to spend too much time on things she can't change. She always figured, she got me out of the relationship, well - it wasn't really a relationship. She went after him, he ran for a while, then she got him at a party, ah - deliberately got herself pregnant by him with me."
"You're kidding? She told you that?"
"Yep," He grinned. "She said, if I can't have him, then I'll have his baby, just for me. She said when I was born, and growing up, that she always got the better end of the deal. It was like, all she really wanted, was to have me." He made a face, then shook his head, "She's weird huh?"
Vivian laughed out loud, "Glad you said it and not me."
"I still love her though, because she was always a really cool mom to me. I mean, she acted like there was nothing in her life, more important than me, you know. So, I had no choice but to take care of her, she's kind'ah like, one of my best friends, well - in a way, she was my only friend. If I wasn't with her, I was with my brother's, at my grandparents - but I always called and checked on her!" He added right away so Vivian knew he never neglected her.
"Wow - I've never met a young person like you Paul. I know that there are some like you out there, but I never knew one personally, what a pleasure."
"Thanks - I like you too, you're good for my dad. You just have to be patient with him, he's like a little kid in some ways, you just gotta know how to handle him."
Vivian sat shaking her head incredulous, he was such a breath of fresh air. "Well he called this morning."
"Oh yeah? I was up pretty early."
"I'm sorry, but I had to hang up on his butt! It's was 4:30 in the morning!"
Paul cracked up laughing at the way she said it, as she continued.
"I am not fit for conversation at that particular time in the 24 hour time dial, no, no no no, no no!"
Laughing still, he asked, "Well what was he saying?"
"Chile please, did you hear what I just said? He was saying something to me about you."
"Ah! I bet he was telling you to tell me to be careful with the truck. I will be, don't worry."
Vivian smiled, "You know what, I'm not worried at all Paul, not at all."
* * *
"Shawn, where are we going?" Sylvia asked for the third time.
"Yeah dad, where we going?" Mundo backed her question.
Shawn smiled, he had his entire crew loaded up in the Hummer, heading for the coast. For a little beach, sand and sailing time, and a bit of scuba diving. "Today is the perfect day to enjoy the coast!"
"The coast?" Sylvia asked.
Smiling as he drove, Shawn nodded, "The coast." it was early in the morning and he woke all at the crack of dawn.
"The beach you mean?" Mundo asked next.
"Well, yeah, kind'ah sorta." Shawn returned.
"We're going scuba diving! Yeah!" Angela whooped joyously, she loved it.
"Sc-scuba who? What?" Sylvia turned to Shawn with big eyes to ask.
"Scuba diving! You know, where you put on a wet suit for a little underwater exploration."
"I ain't puttin' on no wet suit and diving in no water!" Sylvia blasted, her voice a high shrill.
"Come on Sylvia, you'll love it!" Angela cheered.
"Shawn, you could'ah left me at home with the babies! I ain't gettin' in no ocean o'water! That is something I just do not do, oh no sa'! You can forget that!"
"Hey, what's up with this? Where's that adventurous person that had a to do list-..."
"Jumpin' my black ass in the ocean was not on my list!"
The kids all busted out laughing at her. "Ya'll can laugh if you want to, but I'm for real! I don't do oceans! It's full of fish shit!"
Shawn exploded so he had to pull the Hummer over because he couldn't see from laughing so hard. Sylvia didn't see anything funny, as she sat shaking her head at him, at the kids, her arms crossed she sat back in her seat, her face firm, as she continued, "No no no, this sista' ain't even interested. You will never find a list of things for me to do, and there be jumping in the ocean on there. All that time you spent with Jesse, you ain't learn that about us?"
Shawn was wiping his eyes trying to get his breathing under control as he said, "I've seen black people scuba dive before."
"No no, I don't know of any black people from my neck of the woods, who will willingly offer up they end to no sharks! You mus' be done loss yo' mind! That's why when you see news reports about Shark attacks, who they be? White folks! How many times have you seen Negroes with they ass all chewed out, from some damn Shark!? Never! Not never no one time. Because our ass know where it belongs, and certainly not baitin' some shark! Then ya'll get all shocked when you been attacked! No no no no no - I ain't playin', no sa'!"
The Hummer was rocking from Mundo and Crystal, Ben and Angela and Shawn roaring and crying in laughter. "Why is that funny? That is not funny! Land is made for people; oceans, lakes, streams and rivers, for the fishies! No Shawn, you can forget all about this one! Because I ain't havin' it, I'mo tell you that right now - you could'ah left me at home!"
"Aaah baby come on?" He calmed enough to plead.
> "Noooo, no no no. I'm not gettin' in that water! Ya'll gettin' in that water?" She turned in her seat to ask the kids.
"I always get in it Sylvia, it's fun! There's never any Sharks where we go." Angela grinned trying to convince her.
Sylvia turned to Shawn, "I cannot believe you let this baby get in the water with them things! Drinking Whale piss!"
"Sylvia! It's not that bad!" He denied getting them back on the road again.
Smiling, Ben sat in the back turned side ways, listening as Shawn tried to convince her, telling her about the trainers that would be with them, that he had it all scheduled. But soon, their voices grew dim when his eyes set of their own volition to Crystal. She had her hair combed high on her head, curls, twirls and dangling full locks escaped the loose bun she placed it in. He wasn't sure, staring at her, if he liked her hair up, or down; either way, she was breath-taking. His fingers tingled from wanting to reach forward and tug her ear, make her turn to look at him. He knew, deep in his gut, that she was aware of him. She had to know that his longing gaze was locked firm and sure on her. 'Come on, just - turn and look at me, just a glance and a smile.' His thoughts pleaded.
Suddenly Isaac turned in the seat and looked over the back of it at him. He welcomed the distraction. Using his hand like a sneaking spider he slowly crawled it up the back of the seat. Isaac was aware of him doing something because he began to giggle, suddenly Ben's hand went over the top, grabbing the top of his head, shaking it with a growl like he was devouring him. He squealed in laughter, waking a sleeping Darren up. His head came up and forward in the car seat and then rolled to the other side, going back to sleep. Ben had been holding his breath, hoping he would go back to sleep because the last thing he wanted was Crystal chastising him with her eyes. But she was quiet now after their spell of laughter. He couldn't help but wonder what was on her mind? Was she thinking about him? Or Victor? Exhaling he looked away, straightening up in his seat to look out his own window, because he knew, chances were, she was thinking about Victor. He'd never met him, and hoped he never would. Right away his mind flashed back to the day he took Shawn to find her. She had been in a state that he'd never seen a woman in before, it had stunned him. He sighed, while he was sitting there angry at Victor for that, he thought about Gail. No, not the same. They hadn't been married, and they didn't share two sons. Even so, he would check on her when they returned - just to see if she was okay.
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