"I thank the Lord often for being one of the lucky ones. Now, let's get past this polite stuff, what's going on with you? Why did you disappear off the face of the earth?" Sheila asked straight at it. As a young girl, she'd had a big crush on him, couldn't sit in the same room with him without giving him the doe eyes, of course it never went anywhere and then she went to high school and met Dennis. It was all over after that.
"Been on the road, traveling around, performing here and there."
"Really? How so, doing what?"
"Jazz musician - playing mostly along the west coat, clubbin' everywhere we can, got three albums out - not doing too bad."
"Well look at you! Singin'? In a band?"
"I've got my own band, Lucas Henry's Take One, my albums are, First Take, Black Pearls and Sweet, Soft & Sexy, gonna have to pick'em up."
"You bet I will, and you gone have to stick around long enough to sign them."
"We'll see, we'll see. So uh, when was the last time you were in touch with my lil'sister?"
"Just the other week, we still buddies."
"That's great, that's great - how she doin'?"
"Fantastic! She done got married again, a baby on the way."
"I see, shame - I was looking for a lead singer - we lost the one we had to some unfortunate circumstances."
"You came too late, she would have been perfect! No chance of her going off to do anything like that now."
"So uh, who is this new man she hooked up with?"
"Shawn Everett McPherson, is his name."
"Mc - Pherson?"
"Yep, that's his name."
"Where she meet him?"
"He lived right across the road from her."
"I see, I see, what is he like?"
"Nice - he takes good care of her - which is what she deserves, it's about time too."
"Hmmm, so you think he'd be okay if she had a singing career, maybe traveled with us to perform?"
"Oh no no no, I don't see that one - em um, you can forget that - he is far too possessive of her - this man is in love with your lil'sister, ain't no way in hell he gone be letting her travel up and down no highway, and uh, have you forgotten, she's pregnant."
"Damn! I can't believe it! How long she been married to him?"
"Early this summer, first of May - and she ain't going no where, less it be with him, I can tell you that now. They out of town now in fact, be back Monday."
"This Monday?"
"Yep."
"Shit! I need her voice for my band man, she got that something you know, the right music, the right songs, the combination would be dynamite!"
"You sho'right, but you too late! Like I say, I don't see him even considering it."
"What does he do? She done hooked up with one of these insecure Negro's again, she can't even take a shit 'fore him askin' what's that smell?"
Sheila laughed shaking her head, "Nooo not this time, well - he might be a bit on the insecure side, but - he ain't no Negro, he a photographer, does art stuff for people, book covers, advertising and all that, getting ready to open his own photography studio."
"What you mean he ain't no Negro? Mexican? 'Nother Puerto Rican?"
"He white." She stated simply.
"He - what? Come again?"
"White."
"As in Albino white?"
"Nooo, as in the kind of white that come in Irish, German, Polish - Andy Griffith white."
"You gots to be kiddin' me! My little sister, married to a goddamn cracka'?"
"Okay, first let's chill on that, okay? I ain't raising my boys like that, all right - enough of that, okay?"
"Come on, not you too. Ain't nothing better for a black woman, than a good black man."
"Which as time goes by, we are finding them to be fewer, and far between, okay - let's not even go there."
"Oh we gone go there, we got to go there-..."
"Look, she had one okay, and we both know how that turned out."
"Hey, as you say - a sista' need to be a bit more selective, all right? Can't hook up with the first one that steps into your face, that's what she did, that's why she got what she got."
"Oooh-wee, we need to stop right here, you ruinin' this - you 'bout to make this visit all wrong! You stepped yo'end off to college and never looked back, came home every now and then - after the fact, instead of being there for her, knowing she had little family else, besides me! No no no no, for all the shit she went through with that nigga' - you can't stand up in my house and talk to me about no shit like this, you done forgot who the hell Sheila is! And to think, I had a crush on yo'ass too - no no no-no no no no - uh uh - sorry - you don' loss me - so either, you gonna have to lighten up, or have nice day."
"It's gone be like that huh?"
"In this house, yes it is. Because that man, is good to her! He loves her! He treats her the way every woman yearns to be treated, cherished and adored. A damn better father to her kids, than that so-and-so she was married to before. I've met him, went to the wedding, gave them my blessings, Dennis has met him, loves him, his whole damn family in fact. So all this stuff you rattlin' about - fallin' on deaf ears."
"White man ain't the only one know how to treat his woman!"
"Who you tellin' that too? I know that! But a black man like mine, for the black woman; like winning the lottery now days baby, like winning the lottery. Lucky lucky lucky, that's me! But I know people been playing the lottery all they goddamn life, in they 60's and still ain't won a damn thing! I got things to do, anything else you want?"
He stood about to say more, but changed his mind, instead asked, "Just gimme' her address and phone number, and I'll be out of your hair."
Sheila walked to the door, opened and said in a way that only she could, "Look it up in the phone book! I will not be a contributor of more drama in her life. Good day!"
"See that, see how you are? That's an example right there of why black women, can't find a good black man."
"No no no baby, that's not the problem, the problem is - that we - black women, have bigger balls than most black men! Can't be a man without balls baby, gotta have balls, it's not always about the dick! Now slide your ass on out'ah here!"
* * *
L. A. Condo...
Determined to stay out of things, Sylvia lounged on the sofa in the family room watching movies with her grandsons, who lay on the floor with Mundo. Thing was, all three were sleeping. In the other room, the kitchen, she could hear the low murmurs of Crystal and Ben. He was helping her set up her computer, install the software, get it registered, and trying it out. Showing her all of the goodies within that she might miss being unfamiliar with it. They also used her new digital camera, taking pictures around the condo. Taking pictures of the boys, Mundo, her - and even slipped in a picture of the two of them together, which she went on and took, while it was against her better judgment - she could not fault either of them. If things were different, if there had been no previous marriage with Victor, and two little boys belonging to him, she would be all for Ben in her daughter's life. Because there was no if's ands or buts about it - he did have that extra something, that she hadn't noticed in Victor. And if truth were admitted fully, she didn't really know Victor all that well. From the things her daughter had been telling her little by little, she was no longer so sure about him. All that she was certain of, is that it was best to be alone for a spell.
In the kitchen, Crystal sat in the chair, with Ben leaning over her showing her how to use the Photoshop software.
"Why does this have to be so complicated? Good grief! I'll never remember everything you've shown me." She commented.
"Truth is, you can't learn everything in one night. You should pick one thing you'd like to do, and work on that until you get it and all the ways it can be done, then move onto something else. I have a lot of great tutorials on my computer, links and stuff to sites that will help you a lot. When I get home, I'll send them to you."
"You can do it now, not like we're going
anywhere - we're both on wireless - go get on yours. I'll open up my Yahoo - so we can chat." She grinned up at him.
"I can't - um, I'm going home. I should be packing now."
That got her full attention, she spun away from her laptop to face him as he stood away from her.
"What? Going home? When?"
Ben exhaled deep, "I ah, booked a late flight back, for tonight - I've been holding off packing because I'm waiting on Shawn to get back with Angela, to say thanks and goodbye, until you all get home that is."
"That's crazy, why?!" Crystal could not explain the crazy beating of her heart all of a sudden, and refused to think about it.
He looked towards the family room, which was through a wide arched doorway, "Come with me upstairs, while I pack?"
"I'll come with you upstairs, but you're not packing and going anywhere!" She bossed, he smiled and let her lead the way, her march forward was as much as needing to get him alone to tell him off. Funny how when you realized that you loved someone, little things about them added to that. He followed her gladly up the stairs and into the room he shared with Mundo and the boys.
Inside the room, she waited for him to come in and then closed the door, turned and faced him. "What is this about you going home now? That's ridiculous! There's only a few more days before we all go - why not wait until then?"
He stared into her eyes, deep into them, from the few feet that separated them, his eyes almost said it loud and clear that he wanted to make love to her, they couldn't hide it, and he wasn't interested in trying to, he figured that he would just about give anything to make love to her, and because that was out of the question, he needed to get away from her, he needed some distance, because he was constantly fighting touching her, wanting to look into her eyes as he was right then, "I don't want to wait," He finally looked away, walking to the closet to bring his case down to pack it.
It took Crystal a few moments to recover from the look in his eyes, "Please wait - please go back with us." She finally got out.
He turned to her, a bit gruff, but so beit, "You know what Crystal, you aren't the only one here that needs to do things for yourself. I need to do some things for me, one of them, getting as far away from you as I can right now. I've got your mother giving me the eye! I've got Shawn advising me, cautioning me! And I've got you prancing around me, daring me to touch you, to reach out and - see - I accept things, honest I do. I understand where you stand and why you must remain there, but me - I'm just a man, there is nothing special about me Crystal when it comes to something I want. I'm like any other, once my mind is set to the course, I can't think about anything else. If it were left up to me - we'd be in this bed right now - and oh lemme tell'yah - the things I've daydreamed of doing to you - I'd be trying to squeeze each and every one in."
"Why does it always have to lead to sex? Why can't we just enjoy one another's company?" She asked, her heart beating hard and yes - his words struck pay-dirt, because she was feeling a tingle that could not be denied.
He stood staring, and knew that his feelings weren't quite under control, because he had a semi-erection simply due to them being closed up in the bedroom together - with her, that's all it took. Crystal eye's couldn't help themselves, they flicked down to his crotch and got an eye full and back up. She actually blushed enough for it to show, just from the few glances here and there throughout there time together, she knew there was quite a bit of a difference between him and Victor - her heart was reacting once more, her blood was surging and her lower place was setting up a bit of a throb.
"Get the hell out of here." He fumed through tight lips.
She looked into his eyes, "Don't go." She hated pleading, but she suddenly saw the rest of the time there as oh so bleak without him around.
"Look, Crystal, I'm only human, you understand that? I'm just a man, no super human powers. You've got my email address, I've got yours. I'll be on your Yahoo messenger list just as soon as I get into my computer and accept your invite; then you'll be on mine. Let's just - leave it at that. So, I'm gonna get going on this packing, I won't leave until Shawn gets back with Angela to say goodbye - at least I hope not, they should have been back here by now." He figured they would have been, but he couldn't wait it out, his flight was at nine-thirty. He turned away from her to start gathering his things. Crystal couldn't move.
"So what, you trying to prove something by doing this? Is that what this is all about?" She asked, willing to do anything to stop him from leaving, she couldn't believe the way it was making her feel inside, after all - he was going back to Wisconsin, where they would all be showing up Sunday night, yet, even with that knowledge - she couldn't budge.
"It's about recognizing my own limitations and knowing when to get the hell out of here, I need to go, for me."
"Can't you just - stay until Sunday ... for me?"
"That's not fair! That's not fair dammit!" He grit out low, his finger pointing at her, "You know what - don't - don't look at me like that, and don't use that soft, hurt tone with me, like it's going to make me stay - because it's not! Don't play - with my emotions - don't use against me what I stupidly admitted! What a moron! No, go downstairs and play with your computer and let me pack."
"I don't want you to go, Ben. I'm not trying to play with your emotions, but - deep in my gut, I know it won't be the same - without you here, I just know it."
"Okay, so say I stay, for you ... I stay - but when we get back to Wisconsin, then what Crystal? Huh, then what?"
She didn't know what to say, because all she knew was what she was feeling right then.
"No answer?"
She looked down slowly shaking her head.
"Nope - sorry, you're not going to use me like this Crystal, you're not. Not gonna be your pacifier! I can see it now, right now! You're gonna fuckin' break my heart! I can see it! Not gonna let it happen - what little control I still have over this situation, I'm going to keep. Because if I start now, letting you do these things to me, you'll never - ever - grow to appreciate what I am - and you know what that is?"
She couldn't look at him, she was too busy trying to think of a way of stopping him.
"Hey, I'm talkin' to you! It ain't gonna work, stop the plotting, I know that's what you're doing, trying to think fast. You see, I know that about you already, I know when you're blue, I know when you're scared, I know when you're trying to be brave and why, what triggers it, I've figured it out, figured you out. I know when you're happy, and what makes you happy! I know what's important to you, and why it's so important! I know how deeply you hurt, and why it goes so deep, and I know how to reach it and make it feel better. I know what motivates you, what drives you - and baby - oh baby - I am, that extra fuel you need, to follow that journey through. Because Crystal Bella, I am - the man for you. And if I let you get away with what you're doing right now, you'll never ever come to appreciate me - or the fact, that - well - I'm the one. I have no doubt in my mind." He stopped there and turned away from her once again. During his whole pouring of his soul, he'd slowly approached her and now, stepped back putting the needed space between them. "Now, get - go - out of my room."
Crystal stood waging the most enormous battle with herself she'd ever engaged in, in her life. Sometimes she hated feeling the deep seeded need to do the right thing, sometimes she wanted to just say, 'To hell with the right thing.' But she'd done that with Victor and now look at her life. The true positive of any mistakes made should be a lesson learned. She turned and fled from the room to her own. If he was going to leave, she didn't want to have to watch him go. She too laid across her bed, trying not to let her feelings flood her emotions. She fought it until finally, she dozed off to sleep.
When she woke up, it was to hear the house in a uproar, or rather, her mother. She was upset, it was eight-forty-five at night - and no show, word or call from Shawn. He'd left earlier in the day at one-thirty that afternoon. There was no way that Shawn would ever stay away from home that long, by the time she came do
wn the stairs, her mother was fighting back tears thinking the worst, imagining the worst. It would seem, that Crystal would get her wish after all, because with her mother so upset, Ben could not leave now - not until he too knew what was going on with their father.
Chapter 262
Early afternoon - L. A...
Shawn stood at the door, hesitant to ring the bell, dreading what her call, brief as it was, might be leading to. His mind scattered into many directions and possibilities as to what he might be facing. He flashed back to the call from Jeremiah before they left Wisconsin, he'd been willing to board a plane and come there to speak to him about it - the only reason he hadn't was because they'd had plans already to be in L.A. Once they arrived, neither he, Jeremiah or Deidre had brought the matter up again. In fact, after a bit, Shawn had dismissed it from his mind, now - it was back. Taking a steadying breath, he was about to ring the doorbell when the door opened for him, by Deidre's new butler.
"Come on in, they're waiting for you, Mr McPherson. Can I get you anything, sir?" He addressed Shawn, closing the door behind him, turning and leading the way to the library.
"No thank you, has something happened with my daughter here?" He asked. He never could get used to the idea of maids, butlers and drivers.
"I'm sure the matter will be covered by Ms Wherrington." He returned politely, opening the doors to the library, "Mr McPherson has arrived." He announced to those within the room, allowing Shawn to enter, he closed the doors behind him.
Familiar with the room Shawn's eyes went straight to the occupants, he made eye contact with Jeremiah right away - from him to Deidre's bodyguard and lastly to Deidre. The look of her, her entire body language said to him, he was not going to like this, not at all. He knew her and her body language well.
"What's going on here?" He asked, straight away.
Jeremiah stepped forward, starting off, "You recall our phone discussion before you and your family left Wisconsin?"
"I do, yes - so - the matter whatever it had been, hasn't resolved itself." He stated the obvious.
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