by Dana Mentink
What kind of man was he now? A fool. A fool who could never undo the wreckage of his life.
He looked up at the moon, now cloaked in clouds, just as the rain began to fall.
Was I so bad? he found himself wondering. Was I so bad that You had to strip everything away from me when I was thirteen?
What had happened that day so long ago continued to haunt him, to follow him through every moment of his life. It was at the root of what he’d done to Kelly, and perhaps why he’d managed to involve her in his life once again. Everything had gone wrong in that moment, cemented in that one colossal failure when he let his brother drown.
Bill’s words echoed back to him. What kind of man are you?
The rain poured down now, snaking cold trails down his back and across his face. Maybe he’d never really become a man at all, and he would forever remain that tortured thirteen-year-old kid.
“Shane?”
He felt Kelly’s hand on his arm, but he did not turn to face her.
“Why are you standing out here in the rain? Come inside. I want to tell you what I found out at the race today.”
He turned then. Her face, lit by moonlight, beads of water collecting in her hair, was so beautiful it knifed through him. “Just forget it. Your uncle was right—I was wrong to involve you.”
Her hand tightened. “Maybe, but I didn’t give you much choice. What’s done is done and now I have something that might help you.”
“But you shouldn’t be helping me,” he snapped, his voice strained. “It’s not right, Kelly. I don’t deserve your help—not after what I did.”
The silvery light caught the frown on her face. Her voice was so low he almost missed it.
“Shane, why did you leave me?”
He wanted to answer her with a kiss, to let her feel the grief that flowed through his veins and held him prisoner, and taste the love that lay underneath, the love for her that had never waned. Silence stretched between them, broken only by the patter of the rain. “Because I’m a fool,” he whispered.
She looked away for the barest of seconds, and when she turned her face back to his, the vulnerability was hidden under the determined mask. “I told you that many times,” she said, and they both laughed.
She’d returned them back to a safe place where they could connect superficially, and he was grateful.
She pulled him toward the scant covering offered by the porch and shared what she had learned from Tim Downing. “Ellen left abruptly. There’s something strange about that. She didn’t say goodbye to anyone or even take a reasonable amount of time to recover from being so sick. If Tim was her teammate…”
In spite of the leaden feeling still lingering in his stomach, Shane felt his hopes rise. “Then maybe he still has contact with her. An old phone number or something.”
“Exactly what I was thinking.”
“Thanks, Kell.” He left the porch.
“You’re welcome. Where are you going?”
“To talk to Tim.” He thrust a thumb at a trailer on the far end of the row. “His light’s still on.”
Kelly fell in step next to him. “Let’s go then, Sherlock.”
He smiled. “I’d rather be Watson. Sherlock wore that goofy hat.” In a few moments they knocked on Tim’s door. He opened it, clad in sweatpants and a T-shirt, a motocross magazine in his hand.
“Hey, what are you doing here at this hour?”
“Sorry to intrude,” Shane said. “Can we talk to you for a minute?”
Tim nodded and invited them into the tiny trailer. An ice pack lay on the kitchen counter. Tim grinned sheepishly. “Couldn’t sleep. My back didn’t much like that uphill track today.”
Shane nodded, feeling his own muscles silently complaining. “I hear you. Listen, we won’t take up much of your time. Kelly said you were on Ellen Brown’s race team last year.”
He nodded. “Sure, until she left.”
“I’ve been hoping to talk to her,” Shane said.
Tim frowned. “Why?”
“I wanted to ask her a question about something that happened.” Shane held his breath, waiting to see if the explanation would be enough for Tim.
He laughed. “Man, that girl sure didn’t have any trouble attracting men.”
Kelly nodded. “She and Devin Ackerman were an item.”
“Yeah, they were pretty into each other. I always thought that was weird.”
“What was?”
“That after she got sick and left, Devin never seemed to know where she went. The team wanted to send her flowers or something, but he couldn’t tell us where. Didn’t seem to want to even talk about her at all.”
“Did you ever contact her?”
Tim looked sheepish. “Yeah. I figured maybe after the race we could get together for coffee if she was really over Devin, that is, but we just talked. She made it clear she wanted to put everything about that race behind her.”
Shane tried not to appear too eager. “So you talked to her? A phone call?”
“Yeah.”
“Would you happen to still have that number?”
He wrinkled his brow. “I might have it back home in my files. I could call there tomorrow after my roommate gets back from work and ask him to check.”
“That would be great,” Shane said.
Tim jutted his chin at the window. “Looks like we might have some discretionary time if the storm kicks up. Can’t do the canoe and run if the weather is miserable.”
Kelly and Shane stepped out on the porch.
“Tim,” Kelly said. “One more thing. When Ellen got sick, where did they take her for treatment?”
“Pine Grove Clinic. It was the closest place to our camp.”
They thanked him again as they left.
Shane walked so fast, Kelly had to trot to keep up. “If he can get me a number, this might be the break I need.”
“I hope so.”
He walked her to her trailer and waited while she climbed the step. As she opened the screen door she pulled her satellite phone from her pocket.
Her face white, she turned to Shane. “I got a message.”
“Who’s it from?”
“Stormy,” Kelly whispered.
Shane couldn’t figure out the significance, but something in Kelly’s posture told him the message was about to change things. “Stormy?”
Kelly clutched the phone in her hand. “Stormy is my sister’s nickname.”
TEN
Kelly’s legs trembled as she led the way back inside. “My mother always called her that because she was moody as a teenager. You never knew which way the wind was blowing with Rose.” Kelly shook her head. “I don’t recognize the number.”
“It doesn’t make any sense.” She dialed quickly, her stomach clenching into tighter and tighter knots with every ring. No answer.
She texted quickly. Rose, where are you? We’re worried. Though she stared at the tiny screen, no reply text appeared.
She played the message again for them all to hear, first checking to be sure Charlie was sleeping.
“Hey, sis. It’s me, Stormy. I’m gonna get back for the birthday, I promise. Going to call back as soon as I can and get the details about your new job and where we can meet. It’s…I hope I’m doing the right thing. I’m really trying.” There was a swift intake of breath. “I gotta go. Kiss you know who for me and tell him I love him.”
Kelly looked puzzled. “You know who? It’s like she’s talking in code or something.”
Aunt Jean and Shane advised Kelly to call her uncle. She did so, reaching him on his satellite. He told her he would have someone run the phone number and get back to her.
“Don’t do anything until I have more information,” he warned before hanging up.
Kelly sighed as she clicked off the phone. “He doesn’t want me to call until he checks it out. But what if she’s in trouble? What if she needs my help?”
Shane held up a hand. “Your uncle is right. There’s something s
trange about this situation.”
Kelly agreed. “There’s a reason she wasn’t using her real name, and it’s odd that she didn’t call me on her satellite.”
“Maybe she lost it, as your uncle said,” Shane suggested.
“Could be. She’s been unable to pay for the phone and had to rely on borrowed phones before, but something in her voice worries me.”
Though they played over possible scenarios for a half hour more, they came no closer to any conclusions.
“Best thing is to do nothing for now,” Shane said.
Aunt Jean nodded. “We don’t need any more trouble around here.” She checked her watch. “Oh my. It’s after midnight. Weather report says there’s a whopper of a storm coming in.” She shot Shane a look. “Even so, you should be getting some rest in case your race isn’t cancelled, don’t you think?”
He laughed. “Yes, ma’am. I’m off to bed then.”
Kelly walked him to the door. “So much has happened today. I woke up worrying that my sister was dead, and now I’ve got a message from her. Why wouldn’t she use her own name? Why Stormy?”
He shook his head. “I’m not sure, but I do know you should do what your uncle advised.”
“This from a man who always insists rules are just suggestions.”
He dropped a kiss on her cheek, lips warm and soft. “Good night, Kell.”
She felt the tingle where his lips touched her skin. He shouldn’t be in her life anymore. She’d cut those bonds and moved on. She was a stand-in mother now with a career and a future to think about. So why did his touch seem to leave an indelible mark on her?
With a sigh, she went to look in on Charlie. He slept soundly in spite of the winds that picked up speed throughout the night. She listened to the branches scraping along the top of the trailer and passed the hours worrying constantly about her sister.
At six o’clock in the morning she was sipping coffee, checking her phone every few minutes to see if another message had come in. It hadn’t, but the storm outside had picked up, with howling winds and curtains of rain muddying the campground.
She saw Shane, head ducked under the rain, heading for the lodge at 7:30. Charlie appeared at her elbow and climbed into her lap. “Hungry?” she said, kissing the top of his head.
He nodded. “Can we go eat with the racers?”
Kelly glanced at Aunt Jean, curled up in her bed at the far end of the trailer. “Okay. We’ll go get breakfast and bring some back for Aunt Jean.”
She bundled him in a jacket and pulled on a windbreaker before they splashed madly through the puddles and into the lodge. They arrived laughing and breathless. Martin Chenko grinned at them. “Well, there you go. Two people who aren’t letting the weather get them down.” He knelt next to Charlie and pulled a black baseball cap from his back pocket, then settled it onto the boy’s head.
“Now you’ve got your Desert Quest cap. You’re an official racer.”
Charlie beamed. “Can I ride in a canoe?”
Chenko considered. “I’m sure we can get you a canoe trip as soon as the weather clears. How about that?”
Charlie smiled, and Kelly added her thanks. “It’s going to be a boring day inside for him, but you really made his morning.”
Chenko nodded. “Pretty soon he’ll be big enough to race along with the grown-ups.” Chenko sighed. “They grow so fast.” He waved a hand around the rapidly filling lodge. “I feel as if these fifty folks are my children, in a way, but I guess my real baby is this race. That’s why I get so wound up when things go off course.”
Devin approached and handed Kelly a cup of coffee. “No worries. By this afternoon, I have no doubt the weather will be cleared up. We’ll be back on track tomorrow.”
“Did you find the missing bike yet?” Kelly asked.
Devin’s face tightened for a moment. Then his smile was back in place. He squeezed Kelly’s shoulder and leaned close. “Now don’t tell me you’re buying into Shane’s conspiracy theory.” He whispered in Kelly’s ear, “The guy has slipped a gear or something.”
Chenko raised an eyebrow. “Still, I want the bike found.”
“We’ll find it,” Devin said. “As my mom always says, ‘The solution is there even if you don’t want to see it sometimes.’”
Kelly smiled. “Sounds like a smart lady.”
“Oh, yeah. She’s a doctor, and Dad’s a software engineer. I’ve got great genes.”
Chenko raised an eyebrow. “You should be in college then. Parents would pay, wouldn’t they?”
“Hey, I did my time in college—two years at UCLA.”
“And you dropped out? Left a prestigious school for this?” Chenko asked.
Devin snorted. “You sound just like them. They think I should get a real job.”
Chenko sighed. “If someone hands you a chance to make something of yourself, I can’t understand why you’d throw that away.”
A flicker of anger crossed Ackerman’s face. “I just made myself into something different, that’s all. Following a new path doesn’t mean it’s the wrong one.” He shrugged and turned back to Kelly. “Anyway, maybe we can get together sometime today and go over the plans for tomorrow,” he said with a glance at the sky. “It’s got to stop raining sometime.”
Betsy joined them, curling her arm through Devin’s and pulling him toward her for a kiss. She beamed a smile at Kelly. “Bad news about the weather, huh?”
She smiled back. It seemed that the tiff between Devin and Betsy had blown over. She was glad to have Devin’s attention directed somewhere else. Chenko moved away and Shane joined Kelly, disappointment on his face.
“Looks like Downing won’t hear from his roommate until evening. Race event is definitely called off for today.” He sighed. “I feel like a caged tiger.”
Charlie trotted up. “See my hat? I’m a real racer.”
Shane dropped to his knee and fingered the cap. “That is a great hat.”
“Gonna go on a boat ride later,” Charlie said.
Shane’s face clouded. “You are? That’s neat.”
Kelly watched them chat. When Charlie climbed up at the table to eat, he called to Shane. “Sit here.”
Shane shot an uncomfortable look at Kelly. She shrugged. Certainly Charlie was going to get tired of just herself and Aunt Jean for company. It wouldn’t do any harm to let him spend some time with Shane. The child began unloading the two dozen coffee stirrers he’d stashed in his pockets. Shane laughed and showed Charlie how to play a rudimentary game of pickup sticks.
Kelly remembered the phone call she needed to make and walked away a few paces, keeping the two in her line of sight. She dialed her former classmate’s number and got an answering machine. “Hey, Julia, it’s Kelly Cloudman.” She kept the small talk short and got right down to her question. “Your clinic treated a patient named Ellen Brown last year in October. I wondered if I could ask you something about your recollections. Give me a call back when you can.”
Her phone vibrated as she was putting it away. It was Uncle Bill.
“Kelly, I got the info back on that number.”
“Great.” Kelly’s breath caught. “Tell me.”
“It’s a pay-phone number.”
“A pay phone? Where?”
“Town called Ash Ridge, about two hours north of your location.”
Her mouth dropped open. “So close? Rose could be two hours from here?” Her spirit soared. “I’m going to call. Maybe she’s waiting there. She needs transportation or something. I’ve got to tell her how to find me.”
“Hold on,” Bill said. “I’ve talked to the police there. They are going to keep an eye out for Rose, and they’ll call me if they spot her. I’ve sent a photo.”
“So they can make sure she’s okay then. They’ll…”
He cut her off. “Kelly, they’re just doing me a favor. Rose is an adult, and she hasn’t broken any laws that we’re aware of. As I said, they are helping me only out of courtesy.”
“I
should go there. Find out if anyone has seen her.”
“Leave that to me. I’ll drive up and ask around as soon as I can free up some time.”
But that might be too late if she’s in trouble.
The silence lengthened. “Kelly, do not go to Ash Ridge by yourself, do you understand?”
She sighed. “Yes.”
“I mean it. We don’t know what’s going on. Could be dangerous.”
“I know, but it’s killing me. I can’t even text her now. What happened to her phone?” She knew her uncle had no answer, only the same feeling in his gut that she had in hers.
The feeling that Rose was in trouble.
Shane enjoyed watching Charlie’s chubby fingers trying to gently retrieve the coffee stirrers. He was so intent on his task, he didn’t notice anything around him. Lonnie had been like that, able to zone in so completely on digging a hole or building with blocks that the world around him disappeared. The pain seared through Shane again.
Charlie isn’t Lonnie, he told himself. He’s not going to get hurt because of you.
Shane looked up to see Kelly pocketing her phone, a grave look on her face as she joined them. “Uncle Bill traced the number back to a pay phone in Ash Ridge.”
Shane whistled. “Practically in the neighborhood.”
Kelly nodded and sat heavily. “The police are keeping an eye out for her, but not officially.” He could sense her mind reeling, sorting through the possibilities. “He doesn’t think I should go look for her.”
Shane sighed. “He’s probably right. If…” He shot a glance at Charlie. “If Stormy is in some kind of trouble, you won’t make things better by jumping in the middle of it.”
Kelly’s eyes narrowed. “You sound just like my uncle.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
She drank a sip of coffee and then beamed those dark eyes straight at him. “But what would you do?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, though he knew exactly what she meant.
“If it was your brother. What would you do?”
Shane glanced around the crowded lodge, filled with disappointed racers discussing the weather. “Oh, I think you know what I’d do.”
