After a quick glance at Lorelei, Beth held up a hand to stop her sister. She hated talking about Carl and everything that happened. “Well, it wasn’t soon enough.” Her next spoonful of soup was flavorless. “Tyler knows I had an ex and it wasn’t pretty, but do I have to tell him details? I do, don’t I?”
“You probably should at some point, but things are still new. I don’t think you have to yet if you’re not comfortable with it.” Avalon reached across the table and patted her sister’s hand. “Tyler isn’t Carl.”
That was true, and Beth would do well to remember that, but that was only part of her concern. She blamed Carl for the majority of what happened. Even still, she felt like she should’ve known what he was really like, and that’s what she’d struggled with the most. If she didn’t have the ability to see what someone was like before, had she changed enough in the last six months to trust herself? What if Carl weren’t an anomaly, and it was a case of her being a bad judge of character?
Her thoughts must’ve shown on her face because, when she lifted her gaze to Avalon, her sister was looking at her with a sad expression. “I hate he still has such an effect on you. He’s halfway across the country right now, if he knows what’s good for him, but it’s like he’s still whispering in your ear.”
Beth lost her grip on the spoon, and it splashed into her bowl. “I don’t think that’s true.” Even she was surprised by how defensive she sounded. Lorelei paused in her eating to stare at her, mouth open. Beth forced herself to smile at her niece and brought her voice to a more normal tone.
The look of pity on Avalon’s face made Beth’s stomach roll. “All you’ve ever wanted was to become an author and to have a family. I’m glad you’re finally pursuing one of those. I hate to see you give up the other because of a jerk who shouldn’t be given the time of day. He’s gone, Beth, but you’re still letting him control you.”
Beth wanted to object, even yell at Avalon and tell her she had no idea what she was talking about. Woodenly, she picked up her spoon and took another bite, trying desperately to school her features.
Avalon was right, though, as much as it pained Beth to admit it. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t want a family of her own one day. Thinking about Tyler and Meg caused her heart to ache with the truth.
Tyler seemed great—almost too good to be true. What if he was, and she was being duped yet again? What if she finally let go of everything Carl did and allowed herself to hope again, only to have her heart broken? It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
She wondered how long she’d been staring at her tomato soup. When she glanced up, she found Avalon watching her, clearly concerned. “I’m trying.”
“I know you are, Bethie. I’m praying for you. Everyone is.”
That was good, she could certainly use all the help she could get. Beth sighed, no longer hungry. God, am I ever going to stop second guessing myself? Please give me wisdom to know what to do when it comes to Tyler. With my life.
After lunch with Avalon, Beth stopped by the store for a few things and headed home again. Beth stepped inside her place when her phone rang, making her jump. Tyler’s name and number flashed on the screen as she answered.
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself. Did you have a nice lunch with your sister?”
“We had a good visit.” That was almost a lie, but Beth wasn’t about to tell him their conversation or reveal the turmoil of emotions she was dealing with right now.
“That’s great. Hey, Meg wanted to talk to you for a moment. Is that okay?”
Tyler’s voice sounded carefree and happy. Beth envied him in that moment and said it would be great to talk to Meg on the phone.
Moments later, the little girl came on the line, her high-pitched voice even higher over the phone. “Hi Beth! Daddy says you’re coming to my birthday party. I wanted you to know that I can’t wait. Do you like middles or edges?”
Beth tried to figure out what she was referring to when she could hear Tyler talking the background.
Meg corrected herself. “Do you like pieces of cake from the middle, or from the edge with extra frosting?”
Beth smiled. “From the edge of course. Who doesn’t love extra frosting?”
“That’s the same as me! Okay, I’ll make sure you get an edge piece on my birthday. And guess what? Daddy and Grandpa might take me to the zoo on Saturday. Isn’t that awesome?”
“That’s great, Meg. I’ll be working that day, so I’m sure I’ll see you.”
“Alright. I’m going to hand you back to Daddy now. Bye!”
The girl’s enthusiasm and never-ending energy had Beth almost tired listening to it. Tyler came back on the line. The sound of his deep chuckle rolled through Beth, doing more to soothe her than anything else had all day. She sank to the couch and tucked her legs beneath her. “I take it she’s a little excited for her birthday.”
“Oh, she’s in the living room drawing invitations as we speak.” There was no missing the affection in his voice. “It means a lot to her for you to come. Thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome. It’ll be fun. Meg mentioned you might be coming to the zoo this weekend.”
“I figured I should put that family pass to good use.” His flirting tone was obvious even over the phone. “There might be a certain someone I’m hoping to see while we’re there. You think that can be arranged?”
Beth couldn’t stop her smile if she tried. “I’m sure I can figure something out.”
How was it possible to feel so at ease when she spoke with him, yet second guess everything the moment they were apart?
~
Tyler hung an especially breakable ornament on a branch toward the top of the Christmas tree. The delicate glass angel held a trumpet to its lips, ready to announce the birth of Jesus Christ.
“That was always one of your mom’s favorite ornaments.”
Tyler hadn’t heard Dad walk up behind him. He cleared his throat and nodded. “I remember. I think the whole tree would’ve been decorated with angels if she’d had her way.”
“Nah.” Dad went to one of the ornament boxes on the couch and withdrew a Santa made from a handprint. He gave it to Tyler. “She’d take these homemade ornaments any day.”
Tyler marveled at the way the tiny Santa fit in his palm. It was hard to believe his hand was ever that small. He looked to Meg who was carefully arranging her small collection of sparkly ornaments at eye level. He was probably about her age when Mom helped him make the Santa.
The recollection brought fond memories and a wave of sadness in equal portions. He ought to take the time to make something like this with Meg. It’s not like he didn’t want to or didn’t have the time; Tyler just never thought to do it. Crafts like these were something moms thought of. He put a lid on that thought before his mind wandered any further and brought his focus back to the cheery event at hand.
“What do you think, Daddy?” Meg stood back and motioned to the tree. “Isn’t it pretty? I put the Tinkerbell next to my cupcake from last year in case she gets hungry. And Wonder Woman promised she’d protect them in case the Nutcracker decides to break into their clubhouse.”
Tyler chuckled at the interesting conglomerate of ornaments she’d managed to collect. He bought her a new one each year. Keeping those traditions he’d experienced as a child were one of the ways they kept Mom’s memory alive.
“It looks great, baby. Sounds like they’ve got everything figured out.”
“They sure do.” Meg lifted her Wonder Woman ornament, her choice this year. “I wish I could show her to Beth. I wonder if she’d want to play with me? Can we have her over to the house and show her our Christmas tree?”
“I don’t know about that, but maybe you can tell her about it on Saturday.”
That seemed to please Meg, and she went back to playing with her ornaments.
Tyler turned and met Dad’s amused expression with a frown. “Don’t start.”
Dad only chuckled. �
��I’m not sure which of you talks about Beth more.”
“Yeah, whatever.” He couldn’t keep his laughter at bay. “Come on, let’s get the rest of these on the tree.”
~
Tyler held one of Meg’s hands while Dad held the other. If they didn’t, Tyler had no doubt she’d be running ahead in her hurry to find Beth at the zoo. Meg had even convinced him to take a picture of her Wonder Woman ornament to show Beth.
Truthfully, he couldn’t wait to see Beth, either. They approached the gift shop, and Tyler opened the door, holding it wide so Dad and Meg could go inside. He immediately spotted Beth behind the counter helping a customer. “Let’s browse for a few minutes while we wait for Beth to finish. That way we can say hi before we go look around the zoo.”
He didn’t have to tell Meg twice. She grabbed her grandpa’s hand and pulled him toward the stuffed animals.
Tyler made notes about what caught Meg’s attention, storing the information away for a possible Christmas gift.
The customer Beth was helping raised his voice, making it impossible for Tyler to not overhear.
“I thought I was supposed to get twenty percent off. I wouldn’t have bought a membership otherwise.” He slapped his large hand on the counter causing Beth to jump.
Beth’s eyes widened a little, but she nodded and maintained an understanding smile. “I’m sorry for the confusion, but the twenty percent off is only on the day you purchase your membership. After that, it’s ten percent off for the rest of the year.” She observed the large number of small items on the counter. “Would you like me to cancel your transaction?”
The man picked something up and turned it over to look at the price. “Everything’s way too expensive. Cancel it all.” He brought it down quickly and slapped it onto the counter only inches from Beth.
She ducked her head and jumped away from the man as though he’d been about to strike her. The customer seemed surprised while Beth’s face transformed from fear to shock and finally mortification. “I’ll handle it. Again, I apologize for the confusion.”
“Right.” He tossed her an uncertain look and left.
Beth put her hands on the counter and leaned against it. Monique walked over and asked if she was okay. At that moment, Beth must have registered that Tyler was watching the exchange. She shook her head, said something as she jogged around the counter, and left through the back door.
Tyler looked for Dad and found him watching the whole thing as well. “I’ve got Meg, go ahead.”
That was all he needed. Worried he wasn’t going to get out fast enough to find her, he rushed after Beth. It only took a moment to spot her sitting on some bricks around the far side of the building. She had her knees pulled up to her chest, and her back to him.
As he approached her, he wondered what’d happened in the past to cause her to react that strongly to what the guy had done. Every other time he’d watched her work, she seemed cool as a cucumber. Beth must have heard his footsteps because she sat up straight and ran her hands over her face. He barely caught a muffled sniff as he sat down on the bricks beside her. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine, I just needed a minute.” She wouldn’t look directly at him, and her voice cracked, sounding anything but fine. She cleared her throat. “You should go back to your dad and Meg, I’m sure they’re waiting for you.”
“I’m not leaving until I’m convinced you’re okay.” He kept hoping she’d tell him the reason for her reaction, but she still said nothing. He reached a hand out and rested it on her shoulder. “What happened, Beth?”
She jumped to her feet. “My customer got confused about the discount, and I didn’t do a good job explaining it. It was a miscommunication.”
Tyler followed her and reached for her hand. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
Beth shook her head. The look of resignation in her eyes bothered him more than the tears. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I never should’ve…” She swallowed hard, her gaze on the ground at her feet. “I can’t do this.” She took a step away from him. “I’m sorry.”
“Can’t do what? Beth, please tell me what’s going on.” He wanted to close the gap and pull her into his arms, but the look on her face suggested it wouldn’t be welcomed. It was clear something had happened to her, and it went way beyond the interaction between her and the customer inside.
“Please, Tyler. Will you tell Monique that I’m not feeling well, and I’m going home?” Another tear escaped and slid down her cheek. She brushed it away.
“Of course.”
She gave a sharp nod. “Thank you.” A pause. “I really am sorry.” And with that, she turned and hurried toward the exit.
Tyler was left standing there, a pit in his stomach. What just happened?
Chapter Twelve
Beth woke up Sunday morning with a raging headache. It was bad enough that it bordered on the beginning of a migraine. She forced herself to eat some breakfast and took medication to hold the migraine at bay. After that, she started water for a shower. She made it as hot as she could stand before stepping under the soothing spray.
It was no surprise she’d woken up feeling horrible. After beating herself up last night, on top of crying, she’d expected this. But it did feel a little like she was being kicked while she was down. She kept trying not to think about the day before. Everything was a disaster. Humiliating. She’d thought it would be horrible to tell Tyler about Carl and what he’d done, but in some ways, this was almost worse.
The way she reacted to her customer was bad enough, but for Tyler to witness her jumpy reaction... And then he’d been such a gentleman, too, following her to make sure she was all right.
Beth groaned, squeezed her eyes shut tight, and turned her face to the water.
Tyler had been great. Everything in her being had wanted him to hold her and to assure her that all would be okay. But what would he have said when he found out how long it took her to leave Carl? Would there have been pity and sadness in his eyes every time he looked at her after that? She didn’t think she could bear it. Instead, she’d left. Real mature move there.
She’d probably be crying again, but the tears were spent. Tyler was one of the best things that’d happened to her in a long time, and she’d blown it. He was probably questioning her sanity right now, and she couldn’t blame him.
She turned again, allowing the water to pelt against her back, and wiped her face with a washcloth. She refused to leave the shower stall until the hot water disappeared and forced her out. The moment she slid the glass door open, real life waited for her like the cool air that hit her damp skin. Her cell phone lay on the bathroom counter, the green light on the top announcing she’d received a text.
Beth wrapped a towel around her hair and another around her body. She picked up the phone and swiped the screen to see a text from Tyler appear.
“I wanted to check in and see how you were doing. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”
Even an apparent mental breakdown of sorts hadn’t kept him away. She wasn’t real sure what to do with that information. Her heart soared with his thoughtfulness while her stomach rolled. She’d hoped to avoid talking about Carl for a while longer, but that wasn’t going to fly now. Not if she were to keep seeing Tyler. Her heart ached in protest as she simply typed out, “I’m okay. Thank you.”
How bad was it that she’d lied by text a half hour before going to church?
~
Tyler tossed his phone onto the kitchen counter with a sigh. It’d been three days since the incident at the zoo. Except for saying she was okay on Sunday, he hadn’t heard from Beth. He certainly didn’t feel comfortable continuing to send texts she wasn’t responding to. He’d tried calling once, only to be sent to voicemail.
“Still nothing?” Dad’s sympathetic expression did little to make Tyler feel better.
“Not a word. After what I saw happen, I told myself to not take her reaction personally, but it’s getting harder to convince myself of
that.” He motioned toward the living room where Meg was watching a cartoon. “Beth promised she’d come to Meg’s birthday party. Meg will be crushed if she isn’t there.”
Tyler had to admit to himself that he’d be upset with Beth if she didn’t bother to swing by after making a promise. Calling and canceling would be one thing, but a no-show would break his daughter’s heart.
“What are you going to do? Wait and see if she shows up?”
“I’d rather not find out at the last minute like that.”
Dad nodded. “Maybe you need to talk to her in person.”
Tyler didn’t want to try and talk at the zoo, and going to her house was out of the question.
Or was it?
He knew where Beth lived. What if he tried to catch her at home on Thursday when she had the day off work? He’d rather look like a stalker and see her again than to keep wondering all week. “Yeah, maybe I will.”
That night, Tyler had a hard time getting Meg settled and in bed. He pulled the pink and purple comforter up to her chin and brushed some of her dark hair out of her face. “You need to get some sleep, baby. You’ve got school tomorrow.”
Meg made a face, her little nose scrunching in that adorable way that always made him smile. “I don’t want to go to bed. I’m not tired.” She reached up and rubbed her palms against his beard. “Don’t ever shave, Daddy.”
“You like my beard and mustache?” She nodded, and he smiled. “Thanks, baby. Me, too.” He tapped her on the nose. “But you need to go to sleep. You’ll be tired tomorrow.” She didn’t look convinced. “Besides, you need to save up energy for Saturday. You definitely don’t want to be too tired for your party.” He made an exaggerated sad face. “What if you’re so tired you’re cranky, then all your party guests see how grumpy you are and leave before cake and presents?” He tickled her then, soaking in her girly giggles.
Finding Grace Page 10
