“You know what I’m thinking?” she asked, while gazing with appreciation at the view in front of them.
“No. Tell me.”
“That this ranch of yours is so different from what I first thought.” She glanced over at him. “And so are you. When I first saw you, I thought you were a lawyer disguised as a cowboy. Now I realize you’re more of a cowboy than a lawyer. I think you’re far more connected to this land than you are to your desk.”
“I’m glad you realize that, Sassy, because—” He broke off and, using his free hand, gestured to the wild expanse of ground stretching toward the blaze of sunset. “I want this ranch to belong to you, too.”
She turned a look of confusion on him. “What did you say? Something about belonging?”
Pulling the bouquet from behind his back, he presented the fragrant blooms to her. “That’s right, Sassy. I want you to belong to me and me to you. I want this ranch to be ours. I’m asking you to marry me.”
Chapter Eleven
Sassy stared in stunned silence at the pink asters and yellow lilies intertwined with delicate baby’s breath. She’d just been telling herself not to read anything romantic into this little trip to view the Joshua trees and the gorgeous sunset. Jett wasn’t that type of man. He was thoughtful, but not dreamy.
But apparently he, or she, or the both of them were dreaming now, she thought wildly.
“Marry? Jett—I don’t understand. What am I supposed to say?”
“A simple yes is all I need.”
Her head was suddenly reeling with pictures of the future. In so many ways, being Jett’s wife would be incredible. There was no doubt in her mind that he would be a good and faithful husband. And the financial security he would provide for her and the baby was beyond anything she could have imagined in her life. A woman probably shouldn’t expect more than that from a man. But she wanted more. Much more.
Dropping her nose to the cluster of flowers, she drew in the sweet scent before she faced him. “Why now, Jett? You’ve told me more than once that you didn’t want to get married again.”
Moving closer, he wrapped his arms around her until the flowers were very nearly squashed between them. “This week with you has made me see things differently, Sassy. We fit together. We understand each other. And I can provide a good home for you and the baby.”
A woman should feel joy when the man she loves proposes to her, but at this very second Sassy’s chest was filled with a heavy ache. “So, in other words, we’d have a great marriage of convenience.”
Beneath the brim of his hat, she saw his dark brows arch with surprise and then her eyes settled on his chiseled lips. The sight of them infused her with longing and deep regret.
“That’s not exactly how I think of it. But if you want to put it that way...” he said slowly.
She swallowed hard before she could manage to push the next words past her tight throat. “Well, thanks for the offer, but I’m not interested.”
He stared at her for long moments as all around them the light from the setting sun quickly faded into twilight. In the far distance a hawk shrieked as it swooped at its prey.
“Why?” he wanted to know. “Am I wrong in thinking that you feel something for me?”
Her eyes filled with misty tears. “You’re not wrong at all. And that’s exactly why I have to turn down your proposal. Because I do feel something for you. I love you, Jett.”
It was clear she’d shocked him. His face went pale, and he took a step back as though she’d literally shoved him.
“Oh, Sassy,” he said, in an anguished voice. “Why did you have to bring that into things?”
“And why did you not bring it into things?” she asked angrily. Then, shaking her head, she looked away from him and drew in several bracing breaths. “I’m sorry, Jett. This is all my fault. I was wrong—I’ve been wrong for several days now. I led you to believe that all I wanted from you was sex. Because I understood that’s how you wanted things to be with us. And I’ve been able to pretend. But, now that you’ve asked me to marry you, I can’t pretend any longer. I can’t—I won’t—enter into a marriage without love.”
She started toward the truck door, only to have him put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re not thinking sensibly right now, Sassy. You’re thinking with your heart instead of your head. And that is never the wise thing to do. I can provide your baby with everything it will need to grow into a fine young man or woman. Isn’t that what you want for your child?”
He didn’t understand. How could he? His heart was too wrapped up in armor to be able to see or feel real love.
“I’ve managed to make it on my own up until now, Jett. And providing for a child doesn’t necessarily make you a parent. It needs warmth and love. And yes, there’s that word again. But don’t worry. That’s the last time you’re going to hear it from me.”
Pulling away from him, she jerked open the door and climbed back into the vehicle, leaving him no choice but to follow.
As he turned the truck around and drove back to the ranch house, she stared out the window and wondered what she was going to do now. There was no way she could continue staying under the same roof with Jett. Now that they had both put their feelings out in the open, it would simply be agony.
“Looks like I’ve ruined your evening,” he said gruffly. “I’ll remember that the next time I get the idea to propose marriage to a woman.”
“You haven’t ruined my evening.” He’d just ruined everything, she thought dismally. Their time together had been precious. But the few days of fairy tale had come to an end. “Seeing the Joshua trees and the sunset was something I’ll never forget.”
She gazed down at the pink and yellow blooms lying in the crook of her arm and her throat ached with tears. “I’m sorry you wasted the flowers. You can give them to Bella.” She looked over at him and tried to smile. “Deep down you don’t want to get married, Jett. You haven’t really thought this through. What it would mean to have me and a baby on the ranch. You’d be tied down and start feeling trapped like you did with Erica. Later on you’ll be glad that I had enough sense to turn you down.”
He stared straight ahead and Sassy could tell by the tautness of his jaw that he was more than a little upset. Which didn’t make much sense, considering that he didn’t love her. But then, there wasn’t a man alive who liked to hear no from a woman, she silently reasoned.
He said, “You know how to make a guy feel real worthwhile, Sassy.”
There were many retorts she could have made, but she didn’t. She’d never liked arguing. Especially when it was obvious that cross words wouldn’t change the situation.
When they returned to the house, Bella was in the kitchen, adding the last touches to the meal of lasagna that Sassy had put in the oven before Jett arrived home.
“Well, there you two are.” She turned away from the cabinet and immediately spotted the flowers in Sassy’s arms. “Wow! Where did you get those? They’re beautiful!”
Using all the acting ability she possessed, Sassy smiled and carried the flowers over to the other woman. “I sent Jett a text message telling him you’d come home, so he stopped and got you these. Thoughtful brother, huh?”
Bella’s mouth flopped open as she looked past Sassy’s shoulder to where her brother was shrugging out of his ranch coat.
“Jett, what in the world has Sassy been feeding you? Whatever it is, it’s softened up your tough old hide!” Taking the flowers from Sassy, she hurried over to her brother and gave him an affectionate kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Jett. With Sassy here, I wouldn’t have thought you’d miss me this much.”
Smiling wanly, he gave her a one-armed hug. “Forget it, sis. Enjoy the flowers.”
* * *
Later that evening, Jett was sitting in a little room situated at the back of the house that he
used as an office when Bella knocked and stepped through the open doorway.
“Busy?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Not exactly. Just catching up on some things.” He switched off the computer while his sister rested her hip on the corner of the desk. “I figured you’d already hit the sack. From everything you told us at dinner, you’ve had a long and trying week in the courtroom. I hope Adam appreciates your dedication.”
“My boss pays me nicely. And I’ll get rested up. In fact I’m on my way to bed now. I just wanted to check on you and say good-night.”
Apparently Bella had already sensed that he wasn’t fine. That’s why she’d felt compelled to look in on him. “I’m okay.”
She pulled a pen from a wooden box and rolled it between her fingers. “You didn’t say much at supper. Sassy wasn’t talking, either.”
“Guess we’re all talked out.”
“Hmm. Must have been pretty boring without me this week.”
He kept his eyes directed at the messy desktop. “It wasn’t the same.”
From the corner of his eye, he could see her folding her arms across her chest and studying him with a bothered expression.
“Those flowers weren’t for me, were they?”
He wiped a hand over his face. He loved his sister and appreciated that she was concerned about him, but right now he was breaking apart. His brain, his body, every cell inside him was on fire with a pain he couldn’t fathom, much less stem.
“How did you guess?”
“Sassy’s a terrible liar. And you’ve never bought me a flower in your life.”
He blew out a heavy breath. “That’s another mistake I’ve made. You’re the best sister that any guy could have. I should let you know from time to time.”
Bella groaned. “Oh, Jett,” she softly scolded, “I don’t need flowers or gifts from you to know how you feel about me. When something comes from the heart you don’t have to keep expressing it in words or gifts. The other person just naturally feels it.”
Using both hands, he raked his fingers through his hair while his aching brain considered Bella’s sage remark. During his marriage to Erica he’d told her over and over that he loved her. He’d even surprised her with all sorts of gifts, including flowers. Yet she’d never truly believed him. Maybe that was because she’d recognized, even when he hadn’t, that what he felt for her was something less than real love.
Now he was asking Sassy to enter the same sort of one-sided marriage, but she’d been smart enough to say no.
Deep down, you don’t want to get married, Jett.... Later on you’ll be glad that I had enough sense to turn you down.
Trying to shove Sassy’s telling words out of his mind, he muttered, “Erica sure as hell never felt it from me. And I tried, Bella. God knows I tried.”
Easing her hip off the edge of the desk, Bella moved around the piece of furniture to stand next to his chair. “Sassy isn’t Erica.” She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Would you like to tell me what’s happened between the two of you?”
“Maybe later. Right now I need to figure out how a man can cure himself of being a fool.”
“He recognizes that life isn’t perfect and that contracts can always be broken.” Bending over, she placed a kiss on top of his head. “Good night, brother.”
* * *
Nearly an hour later, Jett left his office with Bella’s parting words still lingering in his jumbled thoughts and made his way to the front of the house to make sure everything was secured for the night.
When he walked into the living room to turn off the lights, he found Sassy sitting quietly in front of the fireplace. Since they’d returned home from the Joshua trees, he’d not talked to her alone. He wasn’t sure he wanted to now, but since he was already halfway into the room, it would look cowardly of him to walk away without a word.
“I wasn’t expecting you to be up. I just came in to turn off the lights,” he said stiffly.
She immediately rose to her feet. “Go ahead. I need to go to my room, anyway.”
Without him. For the first night in five nights he wouldn’t be lying next to her in bed. He wouldn’t be touching her soft skin or have her arms holding him close, her body warming his. It was going to be a long and painful night.
He walked past her to shut the wire mesh curtains of the fireplace. “Wait just a minute.”
Behind him he could hear her release a heavy sigh.
“Jett, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk any more tonight.”
She started to walk off, but he quickly blocked her path. “I don’t want to talk about you or me or us,” he said. “This is something else.”
She searched his face, and he wondered what she was seeing. The same man that Erica had seen so many years ago? He didn’t want to be that man. But how did he go about changing?
“Okay, what is it?”
He said, “I talked with Finn this afternoon. He and his brothers want me to bring you over to the Horn for dinner one evening. Soon.”
Her face remained stoic. “That’s very nice of them, but I’m not sure I want to do that.”
He asked, “Why? I thought you liked the Calhouns.”
“I do like them. That’s why I don’t want to bring more trouble to their home.”
He rolled his eyes. “My Lord, Sassy, you call having dinner with them trouble? Compared to a DNA test? That’s rich!”
Her jaw tight, she stared off at a shadowed corner of the room. “If I remember right, you were just as anxious for me to do that test as Finn was. Now you’re throwing it up to me as though I’m some sort of fortune hunter.” Her lips pressed to a thin line, she turned back to him. “You’re the Calhoun lawyer. Go write up a statement right now so that I can sign it. I want to make sure everyone, especially you, will see that I won’t take a precious cent from them. No matter what the outcome of the DNA test is!”
He muttered a curse under his breath. “Why are you— This was supposed to be about having one simple dinner. Why have you gone off on this crazy tangent?”
Turning her back to him, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Jett. This hasn’t exactly been a pleasant evening for either of us. I’m feeling a little raw and—”
“A little raw!” he practically yelled. With a hand on her arm, he whirled her back to him. “Woman, I’m more than a little raw! You’ve ripped me apart!”
She stared at him. “Why are you so cut up? Because we’re not going to have sex tonight? Or ever again? That shouldn’t be ripping you apart. Not when there’re plenty of women around who’d be more than willing to take my place. After all, you’re not interested in love—just marriage.”
Her flippant response was the last straw when it came to Jett’s flimsy composure. Before he could anticipate his own intentions, he snatched her tight against him and covered her mouth with his.
She didn’t resist, and for long moments Jett feasted on her lips and tried to store away the pleasures that only she could give him.
When, eventually, she ripped her mouth from his, Jett buried his face in the side of her hair. “I don’t want any other woman, Sassy. I want you.”
With a muffled cry, she tore away from him and without giving him a second glance, raced out of the room. Jett watched her go and wondered if the heavy weight in his chest would ever leave.
* * *
Throughout the week, Sassy did her best to forge ahead and pretend that everything was great, especially in front of Bella. So far, she’d not had the heart to tell the other woman about Jett’s proposal. Mainly because she wasn’t certain what Bella would think about her brother marrying a woman he’d only met a few weeks ago. A woman, moreover, who was carrying another man’s baby.
The coming child was the only thing left of Barry, and Sassy hoped that when she loc
ated his father up in Colorado that the man would be pleased with the news of the baby. At least her child would have one grandfather.
As for Jett, she couldn’t guess what he’d been thinking or feeling this past week. Mostly he’d been avoiding her company, and when they were thrown together he was quiet and moody. So far he’d not reiterated the invitation for them to dine at the Silver Horn, and Sassy was content to let the subject drop. Although she would love to see Finn and his brothers again, she didn’t want to go anywhere near Bart. Not that she was afraid of the man. Far from it. But as she’d attempted to tell Jett, she didn’t want to cause upheaval in the family. Even if it was just over a simple dinner. She’d decided the best thing to do would be to call Finn and ask him to meet her somewhere in town for lunch.
“Hello, Sassy. Are you out for an afternoon stroll?”
At the sound of Noah’s voice, Sassy looked across the ranch yard to see the cowboy standing near the open door of the barn, saddling a big red roan.
Waving a greeting at the man, she changed direction and walked over to him and the horse.
“The weather is much warmer today, and I needed to get out of the house for a while.” The collies sat on their haunches at her side and she reached to stroke their shiny heads. During her time here on the ranch, she’d grown very attached to the dogs, and they to her. It was going to break her heart to eventually say goodbye to them. “What are you going to do with the roan? Move cattle?”
He fastened the end of the girth to its holder on the saddle. “No. Ride fence.”
“Oh, that sounds nice. Can I tag along?” She’d not had the chance to ride since she’d left the Chaparral and that was over three weeks ago. Before Jett had proposed his marriage of convenience, she’d planned to ask him to take her riding on one of his days off. But now she wouldn’t ask him for the time of day.
The big man tossed a coiled lariat over the saddle horn, then turned to face her. “I’m not so sure about that, Sassy,” he said with reservations. “You’re with child and—”
The Baby Truth Page 17
