Of course.
He’d actually dozed off sitting on the sofa when he felt his mother’s not-so-gentle prod. Jerking awake, he blinked at her as she plopped in the chair across from him. “Liam’s passed out, Jer’s reading in his bed.”
“Thanks,” Zach said, yawning, trying not to notice she’d crossed her arms in her now-we’re-gonna-talk position.
“So I ran into Dorelle in the grocery store today. She said they were all going back to LA on Saturday.”
Not looking at his mother, Zach leaned forward to link his hands between his knees. “Apparently Landon’s dad isn’t exactly hands-on. Which Mallory didn’t fully realize until the kid told her.”
“So I gather.” His mother paused. “You know, they need vets there, too. For all those frou-frou little dogs and what-not.”
Zach laughed. Sort of. “I can’t move to California, Mom.”
“Because...?”
“Because my life is here?”
She snorted. “And half a life’s no better than none. It’s time you stop making excuses and accept the damn gift, already. Don’t you look at me like that, you know as well as I do you’re crazy about that sweet woman. And from what Dorelle tells me, she’s pretty crazy about you, too. Or maybe just crazy, I don’t know.”
His heart was beating so hard it hurt. “Except...” He blew out a breath. “Dammit, Mom, I don’t want—”
“What? To be loved again? Or to let yourself love? Because either way that definitely makes you the crazy one. And in any case, it’s too late.”
“To stop her from going back? Like I don’t know that?”
And judging from his mother’s sly smile, he’d definitely played his hand there.
“No, goofball. Too late to convince me or anyone else you don’t love her. Not after everything you’ve done. And I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks on that one. And please do not tell me you were only being neighborly or friendly or whatever the hell excuse you plan on throwing out there. I know you, honey,” she said, her voice softening. “I know what you look like when you’ve lost your heart. What I’m afraid of this time, is that if you don’t go after this? You’ll lose your soul, too. And for your boys’ sakes, if nothing else...don’t let that happen.”
She stood, gathering her purse and keys from the table by the front door, shrouding herself in that wrap. “I loved Heidi with my whole heart, because I could see how much she loved you. And I know the last thing she’d want, is to see you stuck like this. To be afraid of living again.”
Mom came back to the sofa, but only long enough to bend over and plant a quick kiss on the top of his head. Then she took his chin in her hand. “For the past two years you’ve shown your sons what courage is. And your father and I couldn’t be more proud of you. But I swear, if you drop the ball on this, I will take an ad out in the Whispering Pines Gazette telling the whole world what a jackass my son is.”
At that, Zach had to laugh. “Or at least the twenty-two people who actually read the thing.”
“Word travels,” she said, and swooped out the front door, the cold breeze left in her wake making the drapes on the picture window in front of him shudder.
He was pissed, of course. Although because she’d interfered, or because she was right, he wasn’t sure. Because, hell, yeah, he was in love with Mallory. Had been from within ten minutes of meeting her, if he was being honest. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was...what if he couldn’t shake the fear?
Zach leaned forward, his head in his hands.
What if, what if, what if...?
His head shot up, a frown the size of the Grand Canyon biting into his forehead as it hit him... Mallory wasn’t nearly as paralyzed as he was.
And if he wanted to keep his man card, he’d better damn sight do something about that.
* * *
The week had gone by way too fast. Because the day after tomorrow he and Mom and Grandma were going back to LA. And then what?
Sitting up on Waffles, Landon watched his mother saddle up Macy, wheeling from one side of the horse to the other to tighten the cinch. They’d gone riding every day, even if only for a little while, and he was getting a lot better at not feeling like he was gonna slip off. But watching Mom, seeing how confident she was even when she couldn’t really feel the horse underneath her—that was something. Except even though she smiled and laughed, and he believed her when she said she was glad he’d told her the truth, he could tell, by the way she’d sit on the deck and watch the sunset, or roll out to the pasture to talk to the horses, she was really going to miss it here.
And he kinda felt like it was all his fault, even when he knew that was stupid. The worst thing, though, was that he’d thought Mom had bought this place for keeps, so they could come back any time they wanted. But last night, he’d heard Mom and Grandma talking about maybe selling the house. It was insane, how much he loved it here, too, even after only a week. Not to mention how much he loved Waffles, dumb name and all. He could do without having to wear a riding helmet, but Mom said he had to, until he was a stronger rider.
“How you doing over there?” Mom asked, sitting up real straight in the saddle, wearing a seat-belt-like thing to help keep her balanced. They’d followed a path that went up into the forest, a few gold leaves hanging on to the mostly bare trees crammed in between the pines. You could see the mountains great from here. And the sky. And down below, a river cutting through the landscape, sparkling like a giant silver snake.
“Pretty good. I think I’ve got the hang of it now.”
“Definitely getting there. Although when we get back, how about getting you some real lessons?”
“Like barrel racing and stuff? Like you did?”
“If you want to, sure. Why not?”
He didn’t ask if that meant they’d take the horses with them, or have somebody bring them out. Because he didn’t think he was ready for the answer, if she said no. They rode in silence for a few more minutes until Landon said, “So how come Zach and the boys haven’t come over again?”
“Oh. You know.” Mom kept looking straight ahead, like she was concentrating on where the horse was going. Although it was obvious the horse had this. “People get busy.”
“But he knows we’re leaving, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Don’t you think that’s kind of weird? I mean, you guys are friends and stuff, right?”
Now Mom gave him a funny look. “You liked him, didn’t you?”
“Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t I? He’s pretty cool. And he was really nice to me.”
She glanced away again. “Zach’s really nice to everybody.”
“No,” Landon said slowly, feeling his forehead pinch. “I mean, yeah, I know he’s nice to everybody, but...” He sighed. “He made me feel like I was important. Like when he was talking to me he was really talking to me. To me, not at me.”
When he looked over at Mom, her eyes were all shiny. “I know what you mean,” she said. “But you were only with him for a few hours.”
“Sometimes that’s all you need to know somebody’s your friend, right?”
“That’s very true, kiddo.” She faced front again. “Very true. So, speaking of friends...who’re you going to call when you get back home?”
Home. Funny how you could live in one place all your life and yet after one week someplace else...
Landon sighed. They’d gone to see the Indian ruins and Santa Fe, up to the ski resort and sometimes no place in particular, just driving around. It was quiet out here. Almost spooky, sometimes, especially at night—he hadn’t realized how much LA kind of hummed all the time. But mostly, it was peaceful.
And you could actually breathe the air. You could actually breathe—
“Landon?”
“Oh. Sorry. I don’t know yet—”
Mom’s phone buzzed. Holding up one finger, she dug it out of her jacket pocket, frowning at the screen. She typed a short reply and shoved it back. “That was Grandma,” she
said, sounding confused. “Zach and the boys are over at the house.”
“Really?”
She nodded, then tugged at the reins to turn her horse around. “Guess we should get back.”
The trail got too narrow for them to ride side by side, so Landon rode behind Mom. But that was okay, because this way she couldn’t see his grin...
* * *
It’d taken a while to settle the horses and get back to the house, during which Mallory’s brain came this close to burning up. However, by the time her mother swept the three boys off to heaven knew where, she’d finally convinced herself the man had simply come to say goodbye. Even though she’d told him not to. A thought that got her brain fizzing all over again.
Especially when she saw his face.
Zach stood in the middle of the living room in a barn coat and jeans, his fingers crushing his cowboy hat’s curled-up brim.
“I can’t let you leave without telling you how I feel,” he said, and her knees would’ve buckled if they could’ve done such a thing.
“O-oh?”
“Yeah,” he pushed out, scrunching up the brim even worse. “Because...” He cleared his throat. “All that you said, about how I pushed you past your fears? Well, I guess I could say you did the same thing for me. To me. Whatever.” When she didn’t say anything—because she couldn’t—he cleared his throat again and said, “To be honest, I didn’t want to fall in love with you. With anybody, for that matter. Because...” She saw his throat work. “Because it hurt too much, losing Heidi. Except...”
His eyes glittered behind his glasses, making Mallory’s water, too. “Corrales wouldn’t’ve happened if I hadn’t, whether I wanted to admit that to myself or not. Then, when it really sank in you were leaving, that I might not ever see you again, I realized how stupid it was trying to keep myself from getting hurt again. Since it’d happened anyway.”
“Oh, Zach...”
“No, wait, I’m not finished. So long story short, I’ve been doing some research online, and it looks like I wouldn’t have any trouble finding work in LA. And the boys are young enough I don’t think the transition would be any big deal. Not sure what I’d do about housing. I know it’s off-the-wall expensive out there, but... I’ll figure it out.” He removed his glasses to skim a thumb under his right eye, pushed the glasses back on. “Because I have to. Because while losing Heidi was something I couldn’t control, losing you...that’d be nobody’s fault but mine.”
Their gazes locked, it occurred to Mallory that despite Zach’s still standing several feet away, what now vibrated between them was more real, more palpable, than anything a lousy bunch of nerve endings could ever communicate. But for all she ached to accept what he was offering, pragmatism still raised its ugly head.
“And I love you far too much to let you make that kind of sacrifice for me,” she said quietly. “Because suppose this doesn’t work out? We barely know each other, for heaven’s sake. Yes, I’m sure the kids would adjust, kids are good at that, but...would you? I doubt it. What I don’t doubt, is that you’d be miserable in LA. Even more a fish out of water than I was.” She smiled. “Which is saying a lot—”
“I’m a big boy, Mallory, I can make my own decisions—”
“No,” she said, finally wheeling closer, “now you listen to me—I know exactly how much you love it here. How much you belong. Know, because I feel the same way about this place. And how could you leave your family? Yes, we could come back for visits, of course, but it wouldn’t be the same. And there is no way I could live with myself, taking that from you—”
“But what if we stayed here?” Landon said from the doorway, making Mallory swivel around to face him.
“Landon! What on earth—!”
“No, really,” the boy said, coming closer, looking more scared, and more determined, than Mallory had ever seen him. “What if I said I didn’t want to go back to LA? Not to live, anyway. Really, think about it—Dad clearly doesn’t care, and he’s going to Brazil on location for six months to shoot that movie, anyway. Didn’t he tell you?”
Mallory heaved a sigh. “No, he did not.”
With that, Landon’s gaze swung to Zach, then back to Mallory. “Okay, maybe you don’t see it, but I do—Dad never looked at you the way Zach does. Not even before you guys got divorced.” She saw him swallow. “He never looked at me, either, the way Zach does. Like, you know, he actually sees me?” He turned back to Zach. “Like...like he gets me.”
Slowly, Zach smiled. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Landon said, then faced Mallory again. “See, Mom? This is a good thing. You really need to go for it.”
Feeling as if her chest was about to cave in, Mallory released a long breath, only to startle slightly when she felt Zach’s lovely strong hands cup her shoulders from behind. She reached up to close her fingers over his, her heart melting into a big ol’ puddle of goo. But...
“What about school?”
Zach chuckled. “We have them here. Well, one. But it works.”
“And I can always do extra stuff online, if I want,” Landon put in. “And Josh said he’d let me come work at the ranch any time I wanted. To learn more about horses and stuff. Please, Mom?” he whispered. “Can we stay?”
At that, Zach squatted beside her, taking her hand in both of his so she had to look into his eyes, the corners all crinkled as he smiled. “And FYI? Whatever you decide, you’re not getting rid of me. Because we belong together.”
What she couldn’t decide, was whether to smack him or kiss him. “But how on earth do you know that? After only a few weeks?”
“I just do,” he said, his eyes soft, and with that, so did she.
With great effort, Mallory hauled her gaze away from the only man she really, truly-ever-after loved and said to her son, “Then, unless your father puts up a stink—which I’m guessing isn’t an issue—yes. We’ll stay.” At the kid’s fist pump, she smiled. “Now go away so Zach and I can finish our discussion—”
“One more question,” he said, and she burped out a little laugh.
“Yes?”
“Can we bring the dogs out here? To live with us?”
“Oh, honey...of course.”
“Yes!” he said, then bounced out of the room, barely gone two seconds before Zach scooped Mallory out of the chair.
“Zach! What on earth are you doing?”
“This,” he said, sinking into the cushy leather sofa with her on his lap a moment before his mouth claimed hers. For a really long time.
A really, really long time.
Then, before they passed out from lack of oxygen, she skimmed her fingers through his hair and said, “There’s still an awful lot to sort out, you know. Like what I’m going to do with the LA house. What I’m going to do with myself, here all the time. Because I’m not sure riding Macy and making love with you is gonna cut it. As idyllic as that sounds.” Zach grinned. “And I don’t actually know what Russell’s reaction will be—”
“To our getting married, you mean?”
Her fingers laced around the back of his neck, Mallory jerked. “You’re not serious.”
“It’s okay, I don’t mean tomorrow. Not that I would object. But I do realize the kids need time to get to know each other. To get used to the idea of being brothers.”
“Not to mention me getting used to the idea of being your wife.”
He shrugged. “Sure.”
“Wow.” Then, slowly, a smile stretched across her face. “Oh. Wow...”
“I take it that’s a yes?”
“That’s an oh, hell, yes,” she said, and he laughed and kissed her again, and she felt whole, and perfect, and loved, as she never had before.
Hallelujah, was right.
Epilogue
A few weeks later...
“How do I look?”
Pouring the last bag of sugar rush fuel into a plastic bowl, Zach turned around in his kitchen and nearly had a heart attack. Although he had to admit, wit
h her red hair teased and sprayed out to kingdom come and her wicked, wicked grin, Mallory made the best damn zombie he’d ever seen.
“Freaking awesome,” he said, just as Landon rounded the corner from the hallway in his Transmutant costume and burst out laughing.
“Holy crud, Mom—the little kids’ll wet their pants.”
“Yeah? Cool.” She wheeled over and grabbed a miniature chocolate bar out of the dish, unwrapped it and poked it into her mouth. Black, of course. To match the black circles around her eyes. “Because I live for scaring little kids. Hey, munchkin,” she said to Liam as he wandered in, shoving aside dogs as he tugged at the seat of his ninja pants. Potty-trained at last? One could hope. Mallory held out her arms and the totally unfazed kid climbed up into her lap. She kissed his cheek, then rubbed off the black splotch she’d left behind. “You all ready to go trick-or-treating?”
“Uh-huh,” he said with a vigorous nod. Although Zach doubted the tyke had a clue what any of it meant. He would have, by the end of the night, however. Zach had already planned where he’d stash the stash.
His heart melted as he watched Mallory and his son, bonded as if he’d been hers from the get-go. Jeremy, too, who absolutely adored her—in large part, Zach suspected, because she encouraged him to talk about Heidi.
Same as she did with Zach, her eyes gentle as they’d lie in bed—on those rare occasions when they could pawn the spawn off on various grandparents, that is—her head propped in her hand as she listened intently...
He turned back to his task, thinking he had more blessings to count than there were candy bars in the bowl. And dogs, he thought as Landon’s Great Dane/Lab mix plopped her chin on the counter, hopeful—
“No way,” Zach muttered, and the dog sighed and slunk off to plop beside Benny beside the fireplace. It was truly insane, the way things were falling into place in ways none of them could have possibly foreseen. Although Russell had blustered for about half a minute when Mallory told him Landon wanted to stay, in the end he’d conceded—more out of gratitude than grace, it seemed to Zach. There’d be visits, of course, but it was clear the man was happy to hand off full-time responsibility for his son—not to mention a trio of dogs he’d barely tolerated—to his ex-wife and her future husband. An attitude Zach couldn’t even begin to fathom, but since he got another awesome kid out of the deal...well. Russell’s loss, he supposed.
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