Jericho Johnson: The Gauntlet of Time

by J. A. Stowell

  "I wasn’t planning on taking him," Chloe said, crossing her arms. Piper’s face was a tad vague when she studdied the Russian girl. I had a sudden vision of the two of them entangled in a ball of claws and hair on the floor and panicked.

  “Say, guys,” I tried again, “Can’t we just talk about this?”

  Before anyone could say another word the machine above me beeped loud twice and the restraints on my leg unclasped, making a hissing sound. “It’s finished,” Chloe said, “Try and walk.”

  Swinging my legs off the gurney, I lowered my bare feet to the freezing stone floor. “Wow, that’s cold,” I muttered before attempting my first steps on my patched up leg. “Freakin’ amazing…” I said while I walked around the room, “It isn’t even sore, or anything. You guys don’t happen to have a pill that can cure Alzheimer’s by any chance, would you?”

  “So you wanted her to kiss you?” Piper asked then, totally oblivious to the fact that I was a walking miracle.

  “Of course not,” I said, all confident and stuff, too.

  “You weren’t exactly pulling away,” Chloe threw in, leaning against the concrete wall of the small room.

  “That’s the most unfair statement ever, Chloe, and you know it,” I said, glaring at her. “And it was, like, literally two seconds long. A motherly peck, at best.”

  “If you kissed your mother that way where I come from my people would have your tongue and entrails out and string them on a pole.” Piper said.

  “Okay, I think we’re losing sight of the fact that Chloe initiated the whole kiss, here…”

  “And I think you’re losing sight of the fact that you need to get your act together and just pick one of us, for Odin’s sake, if that's what it takes,” said Piper, backing toward the exit. “I’m not angry at anyone. I just wish you’d make a choice, Jericho.” Then she was gone with Chloe right behind her.

  What the helheim had just happened?

  “I could die today,” I yelled after them while standing there like an idiot. “Thanks for not freaking out about that and totally making me even more stressed about my untimely, imminent demise, people.” I shouted.

  They didn’t answer. Which was completely fine because I wasn’t sure that I wanted them to rush back in and be all like, “Oh, Jericho, I’m so sorry that I forgot today was your un-birthday.”

  Yeah, that would’ve been awkward and maybe even a tad horrifying, too, depending on if they both got on their knees and clasped their hands together like lost orphans.

  And what was with Chloe just leaving? I mean, we'd kind of already been caught red lipped, as it were. Her staying and saying something like "Sorry for ruining your life again" wouldn't have been that big of a deal.

  I stayed in the room as long as I could, pacing mostly and trying to get the Andy Griffith theme out of my head so it wouldn’t be the last bit of music on my mind before I died. But since I didn’t have any other reason to stay there, except, you know, to not die, I walked out the doorway.

  My mind was reeling with thoughts of death while I walked down the dimly lit hallway and how I hoped it wasn’t like the movie-that-I’m-not-going-to-mention-the-name-of-because-copyrights-to-it-are-most-likely-very-expensive, because in that death-related film, teenagers escaped one death only to fall prey to another more gruesome fate.

  I was glad the hallway wasn’t too long because it was kind of creepy. Pushing through the only door at the end of the creepy hall, I was blinded.

  Shielding my eyes, I waited until they adjusted to the brightness before removing my hands. Then my mouth dropped open.

  It was the largest weapons mass production site I’d ever seen. The brightness, however, came from enormous floodlights that bordered the operation. “Dude…” I muttered, still blinking at the lights as I walked down the iron catwalk and took in the Rebels while they worked. I passed everything from rifle assembly lines to sites dedicated to the construction of gigantic mechs. Ahead I saw Chloe and Piper leaning on the railing and watching some sweaty workmen below attach a long barreled cannon of some kind to the back of a tall black suit as they chatted away with a few official looking guys standing next to them. Even feral Rebels had to have someone in charge, I guess, was what I was thinking when I approached them.

  “The miracle man lives,” said one of the guys who looked a few years older than me. “Thank whatever god you pray to that these ladies saved your life, friend.” The other of the two chuckled.

  “Wow,” I told them. “Now I can finally tell the Black Eyed Peas just where the love has gone." I outstretched my arms to the closest of them, "I think a hug is in order because of this great find. Ferg will love me forever for this."

  "Don't take it, Jax," Piper said without taking her eyes off the weapon construction. "He might decide to hug Kristoff after he has given you one."

  I stared at the side of her head in disbelief before saying, and only because I couldn't think of anything else clever to say, "I went on a three week fishing trip with you, woman. You haven't deduced at all that I really like being around you?"

  "Yes, it was the most wonderful three weeks of my life," she said, turning her head to glance at me. "Then I saw you kiss someone else and it kind of stole the thunder from our little outing."

  "Whoa, whoa," I started, pointing at her for some reason, "First off, you totally got the thunder saying from me. And I--"

  I was about to delve into a long (well, not that long considering Chloe had just put the moves on me a few minutes ago) story about how Chloe had just put the moves on me a few minutes ago...

  Bah. Now I'm repeating myself. Stupid chicks.

  Okay.

  Breath in, breathe out.

  Wow. That was really relaxing. Now, where was I, exactly?

  Oh yeah, me trying to defend myself in the whole kissing thing.

  "Jax, Kristoff," I said, nodding to each of them as I said their names. "I know we're all probably about to go somewhere unsafe and die for our country, or whatever, but could the two of you just, like, I don't know, go away for a few minutes, or something?"

  They looked incredulous, behooved, put off and frankly not to happy with me right then and both looked to Chloe for- I'm not sure. Approval?

  "Leave," Was all Chloe said and the two lapdogs left without another word.

  I frowned after them. "And you're calling the shots why?" I asked Chloe.

  "I'm not really sure. I guess because I'm helping them break into Klaus's facility tonight," she said, turning her back to the weapons and workers, leaning her elbows against the catwalk rail. "So what's up?"

  "You're a thorn in the side of the romance Piper and I share and I wish you wouldn't have kissed me, replacing said thorn with a molten katana filled with the souls of Romeo, Juliet and the Baudelaire children." Is what I should've said. But, being the charmer that I am, I, respectfully, or course, worded that bomb of truth a completely different way, as to soften the blow of me not being hers, if you will. I didn't get all romantic of stupid, or anything. I actually just ended up throwing the honest-to-God truth out there to see what would happen.

  "Do either of you know just how crazy this whole thing is?" I started, looking at them. "We're all from different times and by everything remotely natural we shouldn't even know each other- much less have to fight over each other."

  "I'm not fighting over anyone," Chloe said confidently.

  Scoffing quietly, Piper glanced down the catwalk. "Could've fooled me."

  Chloe faced her and glared but didn't say anything. There really wasn't much to say.

  Can you feel the awkwardness just by my retelling of this part? Because my hands are sweating again on my end. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe it, actually.

  "Seriously, guys," I began again. "The end is extremely freakin' nigh and we're acting like eigth-graders."

  I didn't feel the need to tell them I was eight when I was in the eighth grade but I can assure you that, although all thoughts of women weren't exactly there then,
I did mentally document all of my fellow classmates acting like idiots about things that could've waited till at least summer.

  "My heart has been yours since the first day you came to our village," Piper said suddenly, throwing me, and Chloe too, I could tell, for a loop. "I don't have to defend myself or make excuses, Jericho. I know who I am and what I want. And I want you."

  Countless years of cinema will ruin a guy with romance, let me tell you. I mean, generally love isn't laid out so simply in films and books and after that day I could see why. Once you take away all the bells and whistles it wasn't that complicated.

  To Piper, anyway. "You two should talk. Come find me when you're ready to go save the world," Piper said, walking down the catwalk.

  "Piper-" I tried to say but she just held up a hand and kept walking.

  I thought it'd be a little less awkward for Piper to be gone but she wasn't forty feet away before I could tell that it was going to be just as uncomfortable a talk as ever.

  "I didn't love you the first time I met you," Chloe kind of blurted, like the words had been dying to get out.

  "Well, you were trying to kill me then," I decided to remind her. "So we're one Piper, zero Chloe now."

  "You didn't give me many reasons to even like you then." She said, turning back to the workers below us.

  "And I've given you so many since?" My mind was reeling and I just wanted to go back to bed.

  Look, whoever-you-are, you wanted to hear this whole story so you better just take the funny awesome action with the horrible awkwardness, capisce? I wasn't having the best time myself, in case you were wondering.

  "You have," she said, keeping her eyes on the construction below us. "Somehow I feel that the glove was always meant for you, Jericho. I keep wanting to think that you're helping me save my father and the world. But the closer we get to our goal I keep realizing that I'm the one helping you." Turning to me she stepped close, touching my arm. Geez, but she was touchy feely today. "You've already saved me countless times--"

  "You've saved me plenty of times. And one of mine doesn't count because technically Piper saved you on Svalbard," I countered, trying not to step away from her as she advanced again.

  "I don't want to spend another day without you, Jericho."

  Wait.

  What?

  "I'm not sure I'm following you," I said as she planted a peck on my jawline, which made my mind freeze, but not in the whole googly-eyed lovey-dovey freezing way you're thinking.

  Something wasn't right.

  Placing my hands firmly on her shoulders, I softly pushed her away and looked deep into those beautiful eyes of hers. The ones I'd caught myself staring at for the past week that felt like an eternity. The very eyes that made me melt at the times when they weren't glaring.

  Except this time, after I stared at her in silence for close to twenty seconds, they looked different when the girl smiled at me.

  "Who are you and what have you done with Chloe?" I said quietly, absentmindedly releasing her and slowly lowering my arms.

  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

  "You're not as dumb as I first thought although it did take you longer than I would've thought someone who knew my sister well enough should have," she said, stepping close to me again and bringing her lips close to my ear.

  Then she said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, cutie. My name is Beck."

  Chapter 34

  Enter the Robocop/Skynet/Blade Runner rip-off chic known as Chloe’s twin sister, Beck.

  “Imposter!” I wanted to shout. “Fiend!” I wanted to scream. But instead the only words I found myself saying were, “You’re a lousy kisser.”

  “Wow. You really singed my hair with that one,” Beck said with exaggeration.

  “Did Piper know that you were a fraud?” I asked, crossing my arms and looking the almost completely synthetic being up and down.

  “Who?” She asked, looking puzzled before saying, “Oh, the blonde girl? No, she didn’t know a thing. She’s even more clueless than you are.” Then she saw me examining her.

  Smiling, she said, “Chloe tell you about me?”

  “Enough,” I answered, walking around her and looking her up and down like a farmer inspecting a tractor. “Tell me, dear, are they mass producing you yet? If so I’ll take four.”

  This was meant to be an almost racial jab, really. I mean, I wasn’t sure how comfortable she was with being, you know, a robot with a human brain and spinal column and I wasn’t exactly fond of Beck right off the bat, let me tell you.

  “Not yet,” she said nonchalantly with a shrug. “If so we’d have already won this war. But we’re taking donations, Mr. Money Bags.”

  Okay. This chic wasn’t backing down. I tried to let her off easy but she wouldn’t take it.

  The gloves were off.

  “If I’m going to make a contribution can I please make a request for a newer model that doesn’t have a mouth? That would take care of your atrocious kissing and your annoying voice in one shot.”

  Letting air hiss through her teeth, Beck grimaced at me like I’d just asked for a soda that she was out of. “Ooh, that might be hard to get past the board, sweetie. Mostly because they’ve discovered, through loads of tests, that only imbeciles are annoyed by my voice. Sorry.”

  “Too bad,” I countered with a sigh. “I really could’ve used a few mute, mindless robots around the house.”

  “You might try your friend Piper. I bet we could make a few more of her, if you want.”

  Whoa, whoa. Way across the line.

  “Nah, she wouldn’t work. She’s too good of a kisser,” I said, looking perplexed as I put my hands on my hips. The problem I was having was she looked just like her freakin’ sister so I couldn’t insult her looks. Stupid twin.

  “If you’re wanting bad kissing and mindless we could always try and make a few more of you--except surely God wouldn’t allow more than one of your species to run about unchained on the planet.”

  I was losing. I knew it. But then I thought of something. Something Chloe has jumped down my throat about an eternity ago…

  “If you’re referring to Americans, then I’m guilty as charged,” I said, holding my hands up. “This one time we had a leader that was such an idiot that he got drunk, fired off a nuke and totally screwed up the world…” Then I feigned surprise and said, “Oh wait. That was one of your leaders, wasn’t it? Look at me getting my history all jumbled up. Forgive me, Beck.”

  Beck’s smirk almost, almost faltered and her left eye faintly twitched.

  Bingo.

  “Unfortunate,” Beck said calmly. “If that hadn’t happened then you wouldn’t be losing a battle of wits right now.”

  “And you might still be a human being.” I said, matching her same tone. “I guess since you aren’t it’s unfair of me to call you a bad kisser.”

  “That’s fine, Jericho,” Beck said in a friendly, forgiving way. Then she lowered her voice to a sort of loud whisper and said, with a hand close to her mouth to feign a clandestine exchange, “I know if I was about to die I’d be a tad cranky, too,” she said, wincing at me.

  And that’s when I lost the bout with Beck.

  It just occurred to me that since I’m telling this to you I could’ve left this little conversation out of the tale as it doesn’t, uh, you know, progress any of the story…

  Curses.

  When I didn’t respond fast enough Beck winked at me and patted my shoulder, “It’s ok, Money Bags. I’ll make sure they make what’s left of you into a mindless robot like me,” she said, walking past me, “Maybe even one without a mouth.”

  I turned to watch her walk away and saw Chloe standing not twelve feet away. “You’re awake,” She said.

  “I think he may have suffered a brain injury, sis. He seems to think he’s a good kisser,” Beck said, passing her sister without any further explanation. I also noticed that Chloe wasn’t exactly exchanging fist bumps so I was thinking that she and Beck weren’t bein
g very sisterly since their reunion. It was also crazy to see them next to each other since they were both wearing the same black jumpsuit. Once she was well away from us Chloe approached me.

  “Are you hurting anywhere?” she asked.

  “Just my pride,” I muttered, leaning my elbows on the railing. “Your sister is a real charmer. What was she like as a child?”

  “Shorter,” Chloe confirmed, leaning her back against the railing beside me and looking freakishly like her sister when she did so. “Not as bitter, though.”

  “Getting blown to smithereens will do that to a chic, they tell me,” I said. “She pretended to be you when I woke up. Why was she even there to begin with?”

  Chloe shrugged, “Piper and I were beat, Jericho. She must’ve wanted to take a look at you while we were asleep.”

  “She kissed me,” I said, not really wanting to accept Chloe’s shrug for some reason. “And rubbed all over my bare chest, confessed her undying love for me and freakin’ licked my chin while pretending to be you and you’re not even the least bit upset about it?” I couldn’t help it. I was a tad upset, what can I say.

  Again, Chloe shrugged, “She’s been being me for years, Jericho. I can’t tell her who she can or can’t kiss.” Then she glanced sideways at me. “Although I have to say that I’m a tad jealous she beat me to it,” she said, elbowing my shoulder softly.

  “Don’t worry, Chloe,” I told her. “Apparently I’m a bad kisser, anyway, so you aren’t missing anything, it seems.”

  It did kind of stink, really, if you think about it. Here I am torn between two awesome girls and the first kiss of the story goes to the evil robo-chic.

  Chloe’s smile faltered and she suddenly touched my arm, turning around and leaning on the railing beside me. “Jericho, I know you’ve got too much on your agenda at the moment but you should know that Beck isn’t the way she used to be in more ways than her body. She’s the leader of the Rebels now and she’s also too dangerous.”

  I frowned. “How dangerous?”