“Who’d’ve guessed? I thought everyone knew that already,” Keith said.
I rolled my eyes.
“I didn’t read them and neither should you. It’s bonkers. It’s like torture, you might as well eat broken glass.”
“I can’t help it. It’s like scratching an itch.”
“Well, don’t!” Keith said.
“I thought all this had finished after last Christmas,” I said.
“Christina’s obviously got nothing better to do,” Keith said. “Come on, Seren, you know what she’s like by now. If you’d have been more... I don’t know, you do make it easy for her, though.”
“How? How do I do that? No, wait, don’t tell me,” I said, turning the lucky eye over and over in my hand. “I made a fool of myself and I ruined the talent show.” I said it quietly.
“Everyone could see she was out to get you! And you didn’t ruin the show, just their dance.” Keith looked at me. “Christina had engineered it so you’d look crap whatever happened. If you hadn’t fallen over she’d probably have pushed you.”
I shut my eyes as I remembered going head over heels in front of the whole lower school. The dress I was wearing, a horrible nylon thing nowhere near as nice as Shazna’s or Christina’s, flipped up and my days-of-the-week-pants were visible to everyone. Everyone.
“No, you’re wrong,” I said. “You weren’t at the rehearsals. She wanted to win.”
Keith facepalmed. “She wanted to win without you in the group. You were a bit like some lost puppy, following them around, waiting to be kicked. You wouldn’t listen, Seren, you know it.” He took a deep breath. “You know that was a low point for me, the rehearsals. I thought you’d stop talking to me then, stop being my mate.”
“Why?” I said.
“Because that’s what she wanted. You know me by now, Seren, I’m not exactly Mr Sociable. I don’t play football, I am entirely uncool, I’m smaller than some of the Year Sevens and my voice probably won’t break until I’m forty-five.”
I looked at him. I did know all this. I couldn’t be Keith’s friend and not know all this already. I also knew that I had been a real coward. Christina had wanted me to choose between staying friends with her or Keith, and when I should have told her how vile that was I just tried to be friends with everyone. It wasn’t until the talent show that things all came to a head.
Keith was right. I wouldn’t take the ten ton ‘push-off-and-leave-us-alone-now’ hints Christina and Shazna kept dropping. Even Sasha had told me to leave it. She’d tried really hard, she said it was blatant that Christina had had enough of me. We’d been mates so long I couldn’t see that it was only because of Sasha and Fay. That Christina had left me behind sometime in the summer holidays after Year Seven, when she did Summer Uni with Shazna while I was helping Dad and Sherifa with the girls.
“They didn’t want you any more, Seren, and you wouldn’t listen,” Keith said.
“I know that!” I said. “Maybe I shouldn’t do this film with you, Keith, I’ll just ruin it! I can’t act!”
“Seren, stop it! Now you are being ridiculous. Christina’s just jealous cos you’re in my film. She’ll get bored. Tomorrow there’ll be a photo of a dress she’s seen in some shop, or a boy she fancies in Year Nine, or a kitten making a stupid face!”
I smiled. “So you’re on her page rather a lot, then?”
“Totally. It’s my favourite site. And you know I would never have asked you to be in the film if I didn’t think you were brilliant.” He was on the edge of angry and I felt a bit scared looking at him.
“So you’d have asked her or Shazna if you thought she’d be better for your film?”
“Absolutely. But I didn’t, did I?”
“No.”
“So, no more moaning and no more worrying about what those air-heads think.”
“Sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be sorry.”
“Yeah, but everything is going wrong. Everything. And some of that has got to be my fault.”
“Look, Seren.” He counted off on the fingers of his hand as he spoke. “Those girls are being bitches. You lost a good friend. You tried to help your sister and it went wrong.” He shrugged. “That’s plenty of stuff.”
“I can’t stand it, the way it is with me and Sasha. I mean, even Mum has noticed.” I wanted to say there was more, loads more, but how much moaning can one person take? There was Dad closing down and moving to Cyprus, and me promising Arthur he’d be the Kutest Kiddie in Hackney...
Keith pushed his glasses up his nose. “I bet you never said anything. To your mum.”
“She’s got enough on. Work, you know...”
“Yeah, right, and the latest brick of a book she’s reading!”
“My mum works hard!” I was angry. It was OK me being cross with Mum, but hearing it from someone else...
Keith put his hands up. “Sorry. I’m just saying. You should talk to her.”
I made a huffy noise, but I knew he was right.
“And don’t forget you’re starring in my totally epic production of The Tempest and if you muck that up you’ll lose the only friend you’ve got...”
“Keith, don’t joke about it!”
“You won’t muck up. And haven’t I always been your friend? Even when you and Christina wouldn’t let me in your tent?”
“We were eight.”
“I have a long memory.”
“It was a girls’ tent.”
“Christina told me I would turn into a girl if I went in. She never liked me, even then.”
“I know. I’m sorry. She was horrible to you sometimes.”
“Meh.” Keith shrugged. “You were never that bad.”
“If you were her you wouldn’t speak to me now. You wouldn’t let me be in your film, even.”
“Well, I’m not. And anyway, you’re the best at acting in our whole year,” Keith said. There was a pause. “Would you let me in your tent now?”
“If I had one.”
“That’s OK, then.”
We were both smiling now.
“Thank you, Keith. Show me your film again.”
I thought that if this was a story I would end up falling in love with Keith and riding off into the sunset. But it was never like that with me and Keith, we were just like brother and sister. There were photos of us in the same paddling pool for starters. For seconds I was a good six inches taller than him.
Keith pressed the start arrow. On the screen the sunlight on the water sparkled, and the light seemed alive. The picture on the laptop was more like a moving painting than a film.
“I like this bit,” Keith said.
I nodded. “It’s beautiful.”
“So, you’re up for filming tomorrow? At your dad’s?”
I nodded again. Then I made a face. “But I don’t know about the dress.”
Keith rolled his yes. “It looks really good. I shot some of you earlier. Look.” He fiddled about with the computer. “There.”
It was me posing in the costume cupboard. Because the light was low you couldn’t see much of me, but you could see the dress, the sparkles picking up and throwing back points of light, a bit like the water in the canal film.
“See?” Keith said.
“You’re right.”
“I am always right. Directors are always right. Hitchcock was never wrong.”
“Hitchcock?” I said.
“I thought you liked Strangers on a Train?”
“I did!”
“He was the director. Did Psycho too – the woman in the shower?” Keith made stabby movements with his hand and made that scary music sound. “Psycho?”
“I don’t read the credits,” I said.
Keith pretended to look shocked. “I wonder if there is any hope for you, Seren.”
I kissed my teeth.
“I better go.” Keith got up. “Tell you what,” he said, pointing at the blue glass eye round my neck. “Wear the necklace, it’ll keep away the evil eye. It�
��ll look really good close up. Like something magic.”
After Keith had gone, Mum came home. I warmed up her fishcake and arranged Denny’s carrot sticks. Maybe I could talk to her while she ate. That’s what people were supposed to do, talk at the table, not in buses.
“Put the kettle on, love,” Mum said, and sat down at our tiny kitchen table in her bus-driver waistcoat. She looked knackered.
I flicked on the kettle and brought her a cup of tea. When I took it over to the table she had out the Jenny Darling and was forking up fishcake.
“You always said reading at the table was bad manners.”
“Hmmm?”
“Reading,” I said. “At the table.”
She shut the book. “Sorry. I was at a really good bit. Did the rehearsal go OK?”
I looked at her. Her eyes were tired and her hair could have done with a brush and a really good condition. My mum’s not exactly un-pretty, but the bus-driver outfit never did anyone any favours.
I took a deep breath. I wanted to say, ‘No, it didn’t go well because I nearly lost Arthur, and they’re fighting all the time, and me and Sasha, well, there is no me and Sasha. And who knows what’s happening with her exams. I mean, is she revising or what? Does no one care except me? And then my dad is moving away. This family,’ I wanted to say, ‘is falling apart.’ I opened my mouth and her phone went off. She took it out of her pocket.
“Sasha, love!” Mum said. “You’re not home?”
From the front room I could hear Denny and Arthur squabbling over the Playstation. I went upstairs. I was down about a minute later. I heard Arthur shouting “Se-ren!” instead of “Mum!”, and when I looked, she was sitting in the kitchen lost in Jenny Darling.
When it was bedtime I read Room on the Broom to Arthur for about the millionth time.
“Seren,” he said when I’d finished. “I’m sorry.”
“What about?” I said.
“This afternoon. I shouldn’t have run away and I was loud on the bus. Mum says I should say sorry.” He hugged me. He’d managed to talk to Mum, I thought, why hadn’t I?
“S’all right.” I hugged him back and it felt good. “Good night, Art. Sleep tight. Tomorrow, yeah, you and Den, be nice to each other.”
“It’s hard, Seren.”
“Why?”
“Cos Denny says nasty things. He says we not brothers, he says I came in a box and someone left me on the doorstep.”
I smiled. “Sasha used to say that to me too, about the box on the doorstep. He doesn’t mean it.”
“Did she?” Arthur thought a minute. “Were you?”
“‘Course not,” I said. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just winding you up. This is our family, I mean, you and Den, you’ve even got the same dad.” I bit my lip. “Not that it makes a blind bit of difference.”
“You’re still my sister though, isn’t it?”
“You bet.” I kissed him on the top of his head. “Totally.”
“And Sasha?”
“Yes, too.” I kissed him again.
“Then why isn’t she here any more?”
“Bedtime,” I said. I got up and turned the light off. Even Arthur felt it, even Arthur knew something was wrong.
“Seren?”
“Good night, Arthur.”
“Seren, I don’t want to be a Kute Kiddie. Denny says it’s for babies and I’m not a baby, isn’t it?”
I went back to his bunk and sat on the bed again. “No, Art, you’re not a baby.” I felt for his hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I ruffled his hair. “I think you’d win,” I said.
“But if I didn’t it would only be worse,” Arthur said. “Denny would tease me more and he would say it was because I was a troll. I want to sing in the Olympics and Denny says the Olympics aren’t coming back to London for one hundred and fifty years and then I’ll be dead or a head in a bottle that talks like in Futurama, and they still won’t want me to sing....”
I tried not to smile. “You can’t sing in the Olympics, but you can sing along in the crowd.”
Arthur made a huffy noise.
“And you don’t have to do Kutest Kiddie if you don’t want to...”
“I don’t want to. Denny says Cameron and Tyler in my class would beat me up.”
“That’s awful! You can’t let other people stop you doing something if you want to do it! And you are so cute!” I hugged him tight but he pushed me away.
“I don’t want to be cute. I want to be Arthur, King of the Britons, like Mum says.”
“OK, you don’t have to enter the Kute Kiddie thing. But you shouldn’t let what other people think stop you doing anything,” I said. I sounded a bit like one of those American teens who were always right about everything and went around hugging all the time. Maybe I could still do something....
Perhaps I could send a picture of Arthur in secretly.
I stood in the doorway and watched Arthur get comfy under his duvet. A little flutter of excitement bubbled up inside. I’d send in his picture and then he’d win and be so-o grateful, Mum would be thrilled and even Denny would be proud and maybe Sasha would say something nice to me and want to be my sister again.
I sighed. No, it wasn’t worth it. I remembered the last time I tried to do something good. That had rebounded big-time. What if I sent the picture off and then Arthur hated me forever too? How many brothers or sisters could I afford to lose?
Across the landing I could see the light from the computer screen in my bedroom. I pushed open the door and there was Denny lying on my bed. I was ready to have a go at him. “This is my room!”
Denny was cool. “If I was you, I wouldn’t leave the laptop on with you logged in as Sasha.” He wagged his finger at me. “Naughty, naughty.”
My heart sped up. “Is she here?”
“No, but she could’ve been.” He smiled.
“Give me that!”
Denny moved away from the laptop but he stayed sitting on my bed. What had he seen?
“If you tell her I will kill you!” What if Sasha found out? I scrolled through the history. He’d been looking at game sites. Had he seen my picture? Had he read those comments?
“So what you gonna give me to keep quiet, then? Or I could just spill that I know that you know her passwords...”
“Denny!”
“S’got to be worth something!”
“You know, I was going to have a word with you about Arthur, about how he’s so jealous of you, about how he looks up to you so much and you just throw it in his face. He wants to do what you do! He thinks the sun shines out of your...”
“Yeah, well on a good day it does, doesn’t it!”
“Denny! I’m trying to talk to you here! Don’t forget I’m still three years older than you, Den.”
“So? Doesn’t mean you should be using Sasha’s passwords. Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be telling Sasha what you’re doing...”
I folded my arms. I remembered the way Denny had gone pink when Arthur mentioned Alicia Welsh.
“OK, Denny, here’s the deal. You don’t tell Sasha about the passwords. I don’t tell Alicia Welsh how much you like her.”
The word Alicia did the trick. Denny blanched and now I was smiling.
I was still smiling when he slunk away out of my bedroom, promising his lips were zipped.
I took a deep breath and clicked back to Christina’s page. Knowing Denny, he’d have left a really stupid message or something. I scrolled down. There was a picture of a kitten pulling a funny face. I scrolled down some more. The picture of me had gone. I couldn’t believe it. I scrolled up and down again. Turned the computer on and off, even unplugged it and booted it up again.
It wasn’t there. I skipped across to Sasha’s. It had gone from her page too. I checked again. What had happened? Keith and his magic computer skills? No, he wasn’t that good. Maybe Christina had had a change of heart? Some people were asking where the picture had gone, but sh
e didn’t seem to be replying.
It really had gone. Completely and totally gone. I pictured Christina in her room feeling bad about the nasty comments. After all, she hadn’t said any of the really nasty things, had she? Maybe she’d had a word with Fay, who’d said something to Sasha, maybe that’s how it was. I wanted to text her, email her to say thank you over and over and maybe forget about Christmas, and even if she didn’t want to be best mates like old times, maybe she’d stopped hating me.
The eye was still round my neck. Perhaps it was doing a really good job of keeping away the evil eye. Perhaps it was magic. I would definitely wear it to school tomorrow, under my shirt so none of the teachers noticed, of course.
I still had Christina’s number in my phone. I wrote three words, THANK U S, then I retyped SEREN in case she thought it was Shazna, and pressed send.
8
IN THE STONE CAVE
I told the story to Keith about ten times on the way to school.
“I think it’s this.” I waved the eye at him.
“Whatever you say,” Keith said. “But just be cool with Christina.”
“I don’t think I have a cool setting,” I said.
“Find it!” Keith pushed his glasses up. “Pretend! Look, if you can pretend to be Miranda, shut away and discovering a brave new world, you can pretend to be someone who is cool.”
I thought about it for a bit. We’d reached the big crossing in front of the gate. “You know, Keith, I think you’re right again.”
“Allow it,” he said. “We’ve got a big day, we’ve got loads to shoot. We need to do all the café scenes tonight, and then Friday we can get on and do the tower block to keep on schedule.”
“You’ve got a schedule?” I said.
“Of course. How else are we going to get this edited and submitted on time? Whatever you do, don’t get detention.”
“Yes, boss!” I saluted. “If Miss Tunks says anything to me in Drama I’ll keep my mouth shut. I promise. And I’ll be so cool, if Christina talks to me she’ll think my middle name is Arctic Roll.”
But Christina wasn’t even in school. I saw Sasha come in with Fay, and for a second she looked at me and I looked straight back and smiled. I felt my heart speed up, and I had to stop myself from calling out or waving, or running over and hugging her. But she looked away after a sliver of a second. I felt incredibly sad: what if Sasha would never want to be my sister again? I imagined a future where Sasha moved out and I had to remind Arthur what she looked like.
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