I took a couple of deep breaths and calmed a little, having now moved onto the bath, the rhythmic movement of cleaning it helping me relax. I was doing this for Holly and Gabe. That’s what I had to remember. Just because Nate McKinley was the unappreciative type, I wasn’t going to let it spoil my day. I also reminded myself that Nate was going through some marital problems and I knew from experience that that didn’t always make you the cheeriest clown in the car, so I was happy to cut him some slack on both of those accounts. But, still, manners cost nothing.
I finished mopping the floor and smiled, pleased with the shine I’d polished in. I knew Nate had no cause to doubt my cleaning duties as I’d done a trial run for Holly before she’d left and she’d been thrilled. I gathered my supplies in the little caddy and tried not to let the fact there had been no, ‘Thanks for the meals you left. They were delicious!’ either. Just thanks on its own would have been nice (even though I absolutely knew they were delicious).
I stood and stretched, giving one last look around the now gleaming bathroom. The toilet roll holder was full (I’d even done the pointy thing with the first sheet), and a bundle of spare rolls lazed in a wicker basket next to the wooden ladder towel rail where bright white, fluffy towels resided. A pop of bright orange was added to the white bathroom by the vase of fresh flowers I’d stood on the deep windowsill. Standing back by the door, I pulled my phone from my pocket and snapped a couple of pictures.
To be honest, it hadn’t been in that bad a state considering there’d been a man living here on his own for a week. Amazingly, even the toilet seat was down! But I got a sense of satisfaction from seeing the taps shining and the modern suite clean and bright as the low winter sun beamed through the softly frosted glass of the room.
Having dusted and cleaned upstairs, I popped downstairs to fetch the homemade air freshener I’d mixed up yesterday using some white sage oil I’d picked up in the crystal shop in the village at the weekend. Not only did it smell wonderful, it was said to have cleansing properties and improve the energy of a space. I wasn’t sure if I believed all that but it was a nice thought, and from my brief encounter this morning, a little less negativity round here wouldn’t do any harm.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Nate sat at the lovingly worn oak dining table, a laptop in front of him. He wasn’t typing, just staring at the screen, apparently engrossed. Bryan was out like a light in his bed, upside down, feet in the air, head lolling to the side and snoring gently. Nate might not be great with manners when it came to humans, but obviously Bryan had had a great time on his walk this morning so there was at least that in his favour. People who were kind to animals generally got a bit of a head start when it came to likeability in my book.
Judging by the deep furrow on his brow, writing, or rather thinking about writing things plummeting to earth at speed required a good deal of concentration. Thank goodness I’d finished downstairs while he was out this morning. I’m sure roaring round next to him with the vacuum while he was trying to work would have just about topped off the opinion he seemed to be forming of me. Putting the appliance I’d used earlier back in the cupboard, I returned the cleaning caddy and my gloves to the cabinet underneath the sink and grabbed my coat off the hook.
‘I’m finished now, Mr McKinley.’ After his rather frosty manner earlier, I’d decided that the formal address was the right one to go with. ‘So, I’ll be going.’
Bryan stirred in his bed, sleepily opened one eye and then spun round and out of his bed towards me, leaping half elegantly, half hopefully at me as he tended to do, with the innocent belief that whoever he launched himself at was going to catch him.
‘Hello, my darling!’ I laughed as he wriggled in my arms and snuffled his nose into my neck for cuddles. ‘You obviously had a good walk!’
‘Run.’
I looked up.
‘He had a good run. I run and he keeps up. Astonishingly.’
I couldn’t help wondering what would happen if he didn’t. ‘That’s lucky.’
Nate gave a small head tilt, an action that reminded me of his brother. ‘I would have slowed if he couldn’t. Don’t worry. I have no plans to abandon him on the beach.’
‘I didn’t think for a moment you would!’ I tried to laugh it off but knew the tinge of pink on my face probably wasn’t helping my cause.
‘My life wouldn’t be worth living if anything happened to him.’
‘No, he does mean the world to Gabe, and Holly too now, of course,’ I said, as I released a clearly still snoozy Bryan back to the floor whereupon he toddled back to his bed, pulled Petey Prawn closer with one paw and laid his head on him, sleepily watching us.
In response to my reply, Nate merely gave another of those short annoying nods that seemed designed to cut off all conversation and we stood there awkwardly for a second.
‘Is there anything you need?’ Frankly, I just wanted to leave now. Nate clearly didn’t want any company other than that of the little dog, but Gabe had made me promise to keep an eye on his brother. Nate might be the eldest, but it was obvious Gabe had concerns about him, knowing he was going through a tough time.
‘Need?’ Nate frowned.
‘Yes,’ I shifted my weight and tried not to show my impatience. It wasn’t exactly a hard question. ‘Food, supplies, anything?’
He shook his head. ‘Nope. I’m good.’
Thank you? I smiled tightly.
‘Thank you,’ he added, causing the pink tinge to once again flush on my cheeks. Growing up, I’d always been lauded for my peaches and cream complexion, but the truth was, it gave me away far more than I’d have liked.
For a moment I thought I saw a flicker of a smile hover on Nate McKinley’s features but an instant later that impenetrable expression was back and I concluded it must have just been a trick of the light from the low sun flooding in through the wall of glass doors Holly had had fitted to make the most of the view onto the beach.
‘Right. I’ll be going, then. Enjoy your day.’
He gave a small shrug, nodding towards the open laptop on the table.
‘Oh. I see. Well, at least you’re getting out with Bryan on the beach. That’s good. And there are plenty of places to explore round here, even in the off season,’ I added, keeping my promise to Gabe who was worried his brother may just hunker in and write. I knew that Gabe’s hope was that Nate would – at the risk of sounding a bit new agey – spend some time rediscovering himself.
From what I’d heard, his wife had been pretty high maintenance, but Nate had been well and truly smitten. But without give and take, any relationship is heading for stormy waters, and Nate gave everything according to Gabe, whose normally smiling mouth had been set in a thin line when he’d explained. But he wasn’t going to discover much about himself sitting in front of a screen for the next couple of months. I had the distinct feeling that Nate really did want to be left alone but I’d made a promise to people I cared about.
Nate looked back at me.
‘I mean, I can show you some if you like. Take you to some places that have become favourites for me since I moved here.’
His intense blue eyes were fixed on me for a few moments, the silence broken only by the quiet ticking of the kitchen clock and Bryan’s soft snores.
And then he smiled. But it wasn’t a proper smile. It was tight and awkward and the sort of smile you’re given the moment before you’re told you’re fired. Or dumped. Admittedly, I’d not had a lot of experience of the first – at least not as the ‘firee’, but I’d certainly been dumped a few times and I had a strange feeling I was about to get so again. By someone I wasn’t even dating!
‘Sophia.’
I tilted my head in question, mirroring his earlier action.
‘I’m sure you’re a really nice woman…’
Where was he going with this?
‘Umm… I try.’
He shifted position, and for the first time since I’d met him, he didn’t look as in control or collec
ted. Clearing his throat, he started again.
‘I know my brother’s been worried about me, and while I appreciate his and Holly’s offer for me to come here and… any other arrangements they might have made—’
I drew myself up, feeling every muscle within me tighten, my voice cutting across his. ‘They haven’t made any “arrangements” with me!’ I knew the colour was back in my face, but right now I didn’t care. I was more concerned that Nate McKinley seemed to think I may have some sort of side business going, and I didn’t particularly appreciate the suggestion.
‘No, I didn’t mean…’ he ran a hand across the hint of dark stubble that shadowed his chin.
‘Didn’t mean what, exactly?’
‘That you…’ he faltered.
Bryan had now woken again, apparently picking up on the tension filling the room and he toddled over, stopping by Nate’s thickly socked feet. He gave a little whine and Nate bent and scooped him up. ‘It’s all right, mate,’ he said quietly, rubbing his thumb over Bryan’s silky head. The little dog looked over at me, as if he wanted me to confirm this.
The distraction seemed to have given Nate time to collect, and organise, his thoughts.
‘I’m just aware that Gabe knows I’ve been unhappy and now he’s all loved up, he’s in that position where he wants everyone else to be too. I’m sure you’re really nice and everything, but I’m definitely not looking for… anything… to happen over here. I’m not interested in exploring or anything like that either. I just needed somewhere with peace and quiet where I can get on and write this book. Had I known my brother and Holly had other ideas, I might have made different plans.’
I stared at him for a moment, shook my head and headed towards the back door to let myself out.
‘Sophia, wait.’
I didn’t.
But the words were burning inside me and I’d spent a lifetime not saying what I felt. I’d made a promise I would never do that again. Sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn’t, but at least I now knew I was being true to myself. Having pulled open the door, I turned back, coming face to face with Nate who had crossed the room after he’d called. He was closer than I’d planned, which was a little unsettling. There was quite a lot of Nate McKinley – in a good way – which was inconvenient, but thanks to his superior attitude, he’d made it incredibly easy to ignore anything I might ordinarily have considered attractive about him.
‘Just so you know,’ I said, looking up – quite a way up – at him. ‘Your brother and Holly had no such ideas as those you’re suggesting. As much of a catch as you seem to think you may be, I’m certainly not looking for anyone either at the moment – and if I were… well, let’s be honest, shall we? You haven’t exactly endeared yourself to me so far. Gabe and Holly are just concerned about you, and everyone knows that shutting yourself away isn’t good for mind or body, so a bit of exploring might not have hurt you. But clearly you’re intent on staying inside your cocoon, except when Bryan forces you out of it, and that’s your prerogative. People in this village care about each other. It’s just the way they are. And I, for one, have been grateful for that. Obviously, it’s not really your thing, and that’s fair enough but it might be wise not to assume there’s some hidden agenda behind everything. Sometimes people are just nice. I would have thought you’d have realised that as Gabe’s your brother, but maybe not. Perhaps you should have made other plans, as you said. It sounds like a hotel room in a faceless city might have worked just as well, if not better, for what you wanted rather than somewhere people might actually care and take an interest. However, I for one won’t make that mistake again. I’ll be back to clean the same time next week if you want to arrange your dog walk so that I don’t disturb your work.’
With that I turned back to the door, used all my willpower not to storm out and instead left in a calm and controlled – outwardly at least – manner, not waiting for Nate’s reply.
3
As I stalked back up the hill towards the centre of the village and my cosy little flat above Flora’s gift shop, I turned things over in my mind. I wasn’t exactly thrilled I’d let off a rocket at a friend’s brother but, if anything was said about it later, hopefully I’d be able to explain my actions. And I stood by what I said. From what I’d seen, the eldest McKinley brother would have been better booking into some bland chain hotel back in Australia and saved himself the airfare. Not to mention all the work Holly had put into making the house welcoming for him. When the plan to get Nate over was originally being hatched, Gabe, being a bloke, had fully intended to put his brother up in the half of the house he had rented from Gigi, and subsequently from Holly until they got together. Holly, however, had other plans, claiming the other place was too dated and not homely enough. It hadn’t bothered Gabe, and possibly wouldn’t have bothered Nate, especially since it appeared his plans involved him barely looking up from his computer, but Holly was adamant that he should have a warm, welcoming home to come into and had insisted he stay in theirs which, now she’d finished, was like a high-end show home. It really was stunning, and she’d added lovely little touches like a small glass bowl of what she knew to be Nate’s favourite sweets on the coffee table and a couple of magazines in subjects Gabe had told her his brother was interested in. Not to mention arranging to stock the cupboards and fridge with his favourite foods. I felt a pang of sadness for Holly that all her hard work to make the man who was to be her brother-in-law feel welcome had apparently gone to waste.
Reaching my front door, I waved through the shop window at Flora, and headed in to the warmth of my flat. Collecting the post, I rifled casually through as I climbed the stairs, unlocked the interior door and headed into the kitchen, putting Nate McKinley firmly out of my mind. Opening the photo app, I added a #nofilter tag to one of the views of the bay I’d taken earlier and uploaded it. There was no location added. It was pretty unlikely anyone from my old life would ever discover my account – there were no exotic getaways, designer clothing or name drops posted on my feed, which meant it was far below the notice of the set I’d once been a part of. But I liked to make sure. I’d shut my old life away, separated myself from it entirely, and I wanted to keep it that way.
I’d deleted all of my previous social media accounts when I’d walked out on my old life and I’d been careful to keep things vague on my new Instagram. However, I happily scrolled the ones I followed and having my own again gave me an outlet to share my days beside the sea along with what filled those days.
Next, I chose the photo I’d taken of the sparkling bathroom and pressed ‘Share’ to my Instagram Stories. I added a cleaning gif and tagged the names of a couple of products I’d used, then pressed send. I noticed a couple of Direct Messages and opened the first, scanned it then moved on to the second, which was of a similar ilk. I’d had a few like this now and I deleted these two just as I’d deleted the others. I wasn’t entirely sure if they were genuine anyway. Both of these today purported to be journalists, looking for more information on me and my account, saying how they loved what I was doing and how they’d like to feature it in their magazines. The fact that I tried to use natural and eco cleaning products, and made my own products like those used decades ago in fancy houses, seemed to be quite a large part of the appeal.
But even if these things were genuine, which I had my doubts about – it was the internet, after all – I wasn’t interested. I was happy just doing my thing for me and me alone. Yes, I’d picked up quite a few followers along the way and the Likes and views did seem to be increasing but I wasn’t looking for any sort of recognition, and I certainly didn’t want to be featured in the media! I could just imagine my mother’s face now. Even with all the Botox and surgeries, I was pretty sure she’d manage to make her displeasure obvious.
My account was just something I enjoyed. A way of keeping a record and documenting the new life I’d created here. Perhaps it was also a way of documenting the new person I’d become. A woman with new interests – interes
ts I’d chosen myself, rather than those expected of me. A woman with a job. A woman who actually wanted to get up in the morning. But that’s all it was ever meant to be – all I ever wanted it to. And all it ever would be. If these were genuine enquiries, they’d soon move on once they realised I wasn’t interested. Nobody had much of an attention span these days, and for every one person like me not seeking publicity there would be a hundred others ready to bite their hands off for it.
It had been quite a revelation to find I actually enjoyed cleaning. That said, I wasn’t in any great rush to take on a chambermaid job if I could help it – I’d read some real horror stories about what they had to deal with at times. But I did enjoy cleaning and tidying my little flat, making surfaces shine and everything look just so. I’d fully expected the novelty to wear off after a while, but it hadn’t, and the enthusiasm had only grown. I had vague recollections from my childhood of the housekeeper using special polishes and homemade concoctions to polish this and bring a shine to that, and although I’d been fascinated, once my mother had realised I’d been spending time with the staff she’d immediately put a stop to it. I’d missed those times. Mrs B had talked to me far more in one hour as she went about her work, me trailing behind her, than my mother would in an entire week. I’d thought about Mrs B as I’d begun learning the art of housekeeping, and wished I could remember all the tips and tricks she’d shared with me. When I couldn’t, I’d begun researching old methods of cleaning, reading up about products your grandmother would concoct – well, obviously not my own grandmother – but that generation. Accounts of how the grand houses kept their contents in top condition, both back in the day and now, fascinated me and I loved trying some of those techniques out in my little flat. I’d begun taking some photos documenting both my experiments and the end results of a good cleaning session, which provided a record of things that had worked (and those that hadn’t!) as well as a way to remind myself of the buzz I got when the work was done, and the sense of calm and accomplishment it brought.
Winter at Wishington Bay Page 2
