I rested my bag on the counter and went to put my coat on. Billy took it from my hands, his brushing my own lightly as he did so and held it out for me as I slipped my arms in and belted it tightly.
‘Thank you.’
‘Pleasure,’ he said, looking down at me before turning to my friend. ‘Thanks, Carrie.’ Across the room, Eloise waved, a broad grin on her face. We headed out, and I caught my breath at the crisp cold air after being cocooned in the warm fug of the restaurant. It was a beautiful winter’s day with a deep blue sky. The wind was light and the sea shimmered in the cold sun.
‘Where would you like to go?’
‘I don’t mind. You said you wanted to do some Christmas shopping. Is there anything in the village that might suit?’
‘Only one way to find out. And even if not, I’m sure there’s somewhere I can buy you a coffee.’
I nodded. ‘There is.’
We turned and began to walk along the path that would take us from the edge of the sea towards the centre of the village. As I adjusted my bag on my shoulder, I glanced through the large plate glass window of “Ned’s”, my gaze catching Corinne’s who was, unsurprisingly, once again loitering around Nate. By the look on her face, me bunking off early had just earned me yet more popularity points in her eyes. I looked away, my gaze unintentionally meeting Nate’s. His eyes flicked briefly to Billy, then back to me before he raised a hand in a brief wave. I returned it before looking back ahead of me and asking Billy what sort of things he had in mind for possible gifts.
‘I don’t really know yet. I’m hoping for inspiration.’
‘Then you’ve come to the right place!’ I laughed.
‘I think I already knew that,’ he replied, giving me a direct look, which I met briefly.
‘Can I ask something?’ he spoke again after a moment.
‘Of course,’ I said, trying to inject a lightness into my voice which I didn’t feel. Those simple four words always sent a shiver of unease throughout my body, prickling my skin. I knew why. And I knew how to fix that constant worry. If you don’t have anything to hide, there’s nothing to be uneasy about. But I did.
‘The guy in the window seat back there.’
‘Uh-huh?’
‘Is there something… I mean, do you two… have some history?’
I looked up, genuinely surprised. ‘No, not at all. Why?’
‘I don’t know. Just the look he gave me.’
‘Oh,’ I gave a quick dismissive wave of my hand as I shoved it into my glove. ‘Don’t take that personally. He just has one of those serious faces.’
‘He was smiling at that other waitress enough while I was waiting for you.’
‘Well, yes, she seems to have that effect on a lot of men.’
‘I don’t think she’s my biggest fan.’
I looked up at him. ‘Somehow I think you’ll manage.’
He grinned back. ‘I’m not sure a year’s wages would cover the price of the watch I saw that bloke was wearing when he waved at you so, yeah, I think my ego will recover on that front alone.’
‘Well, that’s a relief.’ I flashed him a look and he laughed.
‘This is such a pretty village,’ Billy said as we approached the main street. ‘I can’t believe I’ve never really been here. I think I’ve driven through a few times.’
‘It’s lovely, isn’t it?’
‘They go to town on the decorations, don’t they?’
‘Yes. Everyone really gets into the spirit,’ I smiled, as I looked through the butcher shop window, itself decorated with tinsel and fairy lights, and waved at Pete.
‘The restaurant looks great. Especially those wreaths dotted everywhere.’
I laughed. ‘We made them ourselves, don’t you know?’
‘Is that so? You must have had a brilliant teacher.’
‘Oh, he was all right,’ I shrugged as Billy let out a good natured laugh.
‘Tough crowd.’
‘Come on, I’ll buy you coffee to make up for it.’
He caught the hand I’d freed from my pocket to wave at Pete, and we stopped at the side of the pavement. ‘I already called dibs on that one.’ His voice was softer now and the green eyes focused on me as his fingers lightly held mine.
‘Fair enough,’ I agreed. ‘There’s a lovely tea shop just up here. How about we start there and maybe make a plan of attack for your present shopping.’
‘I have a confession to make.’
‘Oh dear. That sounds worrying.’
‘No, I just thought, in the interests of being completely open, I’d better confess that my main reason for coming here was to see you.’
‘So you’re not Christmas shopping?’
‘I am… if I saw something. But I really just wanted to see you again.’
I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. It had been a long time since someone had said anything like that to me.
‘You seem surprised,’ Billy said, his expression half smile, half puzzlement. ‘I didn’t think I was particularly subtle at the workshop.’ He shrugged. ‘I’ve been told subtlety isn’t exactly my strong suit.’
‘No, it’s not that. I mean, yes, I suppose I am a little but not…’
He waited. And I waited too, trying to get my brain to finish the thought but it refused to. Probably because it had no idea where it had been going with that sentence in the first place.
Billy gave a roll of his shoulders. ‘OK. Let’s start with this. Did your heart sink when I walked in the door?’
‘What?’ I looked up, horrified that might be what he thought. ‘Of course not.’
‘Good. Then that’s a good starting point. Now, where’s this tea shop?’
I pointed up the road and he held out a hand, inviting me to start walking again, the relaxed expression back on his face as we headed towards Miranda’s warm, cosy tea shop, talking about our weeks and stopping occasionally to look in the decorated windows of some of the tea shop’s closest neighbours.
‘So?’ Eloise pounced when we had a momentary lull the following lunchtime. ‘You were very vague on your message when I asked how it went.’
‘It was… nice.’
Eloise’s face fell. ‘Nice?’
‘Yes,’ I shrugged. And it had been. ‘Lovely.’ I tried to exude a bit more enthusiasm but her expression remained.
‘Oh dear.’
‘Why oh dear?’
‘Are you seeing him again?’
‘I… don’t know.’
She pointed a shocking pink nail at me. ‘That is exactly why “oh dear”. What’s wrong with him?’
‘Nothing.’ I shook my head and avoided her eye. ‘Nothing at all. He’s lovely. You know that.’
‘I do. Which is why I don’t understand why you’re not seeing him again. He’s obviously pretty keen on you.’
If I was honest, I didn’t understand it too well myself. Everything Eloise had said was true. Billy was lovely. And we’d had a great time. He was relaxed and comfortable with who he was, not to mention funny and cheeky and bright.
‘I do like him.’
‘But?’
‘But what?’
‘I don’t know, but there’s definitely a “but” because otherwise you’d already have another date set up.’
‘It wasn’t really a date.’
She gave a small shrug as though that was irrelevant anyway, and she was probably right.
‘I think he’d be good for you, love. God knows you could do with some fun.’
‘I have fun!’
‘Not nearly enough.’
‘I just—’
‘Hey,’ Nate caught my arm and I jumped as I felt electricity fizz through me as I turned. Ned was escorting him to the front of the restaurant, chatting easily while at the same time ensuring Corinne attended to the tables she’d yet again been neglecting since the man had walked in the door today.
‘Hi,’ I said.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.’
&
nbsp; Eloise gave me a momentary enquiring look before turning to Nate. ‘That’s all right, love. How’s you? Feeling a bit more at home here now?’
‘I’m good, thanks. And yes, I think so. How are you?’
‘Fine, thanks, Although I’d better go and get this,’ she said, silencing her pager. ‘Lovely to see you as always, Nate.’ She patted his arm and headed back towards the kitchen to collect her order. Ned shook Nate’s hand, reminded him to come in as often as possible and headed off in the same direction.
‘How are you?’ Nate asked when we were alone.
‘Fine, thanks. Did you enjoy your meal?’
‘It was fantastic, as always.’
‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’ You certainly seemed to be enjoying the service, a small, petulant voice in my head added. I gave him a quick smile and turned away, doing my best to ignore my inner monologue. I’d done my best to ignore Corinne’s over the top flirting today but her tinkling laugh occasionally caught my attention, which, from the look on her face whenever I turned, had been part of the plan. The third time I kept my head lowered and just looked up surreptitiously, then gave myself a good mental kick for being baited at all.
‘So… Corinne said it’s the Christmas light switch on in the village tonight.’
I bet she did, the little voice whined again. I remembered back to what Corinne had said the last time Nate had been in, about him meeting her the following week. When he’d awkwardly said that he’d been waiting for me outside the restaurant later that day, rather than her, I’d stupidly assumed that had perhaps meant something. His protestations that she was a bit full on had felt genuine at the time but today he’d seemed far more open to them. And even after Ned had spoken to her yet again about neglecting other customers and reining in the flirtatious behaviour, I noticed she was still strutting around like the cat that had got the cream. I flicked my glance up to Nate, and got the distinct feeling I was looking at that proverbial cream right now.
‘Yes, it is,’ I said, unnecessarily tidying the booking ledger in front of me.
‘Are you going?’ Nate prompted.
‘Oh, I expect so,’ I replied in what was hopefully a casual and carefree manner.
‘It’s just that I saw you with that guy the other day,’ he cleared his throat. ‘So I just thought maybe—’
‘Ooh, are we talking about Sophia’s gardener?’ Corinne swanned up, butting into the conversation.
‘He’s your gardener? I thought you only had the flat?’
‘He’s not my gardener. He’s a gardener. It’s his job.’
‘I suppose there’s something to be said for the outdoorsy type, but I prefer a man whose mind is his main tool.’ Her eyes drifted up to meet Nate’s but he kept his gaze up and was looking at me.
‘Well, we might see you there then.’ Corinne was clearly bored with the conversation, despite never having actually been invited to join it. Her voice dripped with self-satisfaction as she laid a hand on Nate’s arm. ‘Mightn’t we, Nate? I’m showing him some of the sights by night beforehand so I’m not sure what time we’ll get there.’
‘What time does the switch on happen?’ he asked but I wasn’t really listening. My mind was turning back to when I’d offered to show him some of the sights and get him out of the house. All I’d got was a sharp rebuttal but now, despite all his protestations about Corinne being too young and too obvious for him, here he was, lapping up all the attention she and her perky chest could throw at him. From everything I’d heard about his wife, Nate was certainly partial to a pretty face, and Corinne was undeniably beautiful. Not to mention a good fifteen or so years younger than me. Gravity had begun to take a rather unfair hold on certain parts of my anatomy while she was still in that wonderfully youthful stage where everything defies such laws and you blindly believe this will always be the case. Of course, one day you look in the mirror and to your horror discover that things most definitely aren’t where they started out.
I’d once done my best to counteract this with personal trainers, regular tennis matches and sessions at the gym, but you can only do so much. Nowadays, rushing round at the restaurant, cleaning, and walks in the fresh air with the sea crashing on to the beach beside me probably burned more calories anyway.
Many of my – well, I’d called them friends but time had disavowed me of that belief – acquaintances had long since turned to the plastic surgeon’s knife for a helping hand, but that was one step too far for me. I’d booked several appointments but ended up cancelling every time. Something about it hadn’t seemed right. I didn’t care if others did it, especially if they gained confidence from it. But lurking in my mind was the knowledge that this wasn’t really something I wanted. I was doing it because everyone else was. Because my husband had suggested it might be a good idea to ‘perk things up a little’. Because my mother, who could barely smile these days, even if she had wanted to, told me it was my duty as a woman to look the best I could. I could practically hear suffragettes spinning in their graves when this gem of wisdom was imparted to me.
Watching from the corner of my eye, I saw Nate tilt his head down as Corinne made a comment in a low voice, and I knew what I needed to do. I needed to step back here before my imagination got carried away even further in thinking that my friendship with Nate had ever had the slightest potential to become anything else. It was stupid to have even entertained the idea. I’d been asked out and spent time with a man who, as Eloise had said, would probably be far better for me than Nate McKinley ever would. And actually lived in the country. Billy Myers was everything I should have wanted. But it was Nate McKinley who made my blood fizz with electricity when he touched me, not Billy. And that wasn’t fair to such a decent man so when he’d asked me out again at the end of our afternoon of coffee and trailing the shops, I’d had to say no. I didn’t want Nate to have that effect on me – and I would get over it. But I couldn’t pretend that Billy did have that effect when he didn’t. I’d already had a lifetime of pretending and I wasn’t about to start again.
I didn’t disbelieve that Nate hadn’t been looking for anything to happen during his time here. His whole being had resonated as a man who’d shut himself away from any possibility of being hurt again, and I understood that. But as he’d opened up, relaxed into his stay in Wishington Bay with Bryan and begun to enjoy the process of writing his book, something had obviously changed. He’d become more relaxed with me, which I was happy about. He’d also apparently decided that being a monk, forever worshipping his ex, wasn’t the life for him after all. Corinne wasn’t looking for anything serious, as far as I knew. And Nate can’t have been either really… could he?
‘It must be so wonderful to be able to sit on the beach on Christmas Day,’ Corinne sighed. ‘Just stretching out under the sun in a bikini.’ She did a languid cat stretch for the full effect. ‘Don’t you think, Sophia?’
‘Umm… yes. I suppose so.’ I glanced across the room and noticed one of Corinne’s customers trying to catch her eye. Unfortunately, their waitress’s own gaze was firmly fixed on Nate.
‘Table five is calling you.’
Corinne let out a sigh and gave Nate a dramatic eye roll. ‘Working is such a bore.’ She moved round me, pressing herself close to Nate in the process. ‘See you tonight,’ she said breathily and sauntered over, swaying her hips more than usual, confident that Nate was watching. Under my lashes, I stole a glance. He wasn’t. I tried not to smile and tried not to feel bad about the fact I wanted to.
‘So, will I see you later?’ Nate asked.
I shrugged, flicking the pages of the ledger back and forth importantly, as though searching for something although I wasn’t taking in anything written there, my mind instead whirring away in a different direction entirely. For all I knew, Kermit the frog could have booked a table for two this evening and I wouldn’t have noticed.
‘Maybe,’ I answered, aware that I was being vague and annoyed with myself for letting Corinne’s date with him bother me quit
e so much.
‘Is something wrong?’
I looked up and saw the genuine concern in Nate’s eyes which only served to make everything just a little bit worse.
‘No,’ I shoved a smile on to my face. ‘Not at all.’
‘It’d be nice to see you this evening if you’re able to make it.’
Across the room I could see one of my tables ready for attention. ‘I’ll probably be around somewhere but honestly, I’m not sure you’re going to have much time to notice anything but Corinne. She’s a full attention type of girl. I’d better go, sorry.’ I made to move but Nate caught the fingers of my hand lightly with his own, halting me, and I looked up, trying to ignore all the sensations his touch set off.
‘I’m not seeing Corinne. I mean, it’s not a date.’
‘Nate, you don’t have to explain anything to me. It’s up to you what you do. You’re single and she’s single.’ I gave a shrug and pulled my hand from his.
‘But it’s not a date,’ he repeated, apparently determined to get this across to me, but I needed to get on and put it out of my mind. What Nate McKinley got up to during his time here was nothing to do with me. Now I just had to get my heart to listen to my head. I gave Nate a quick smile.
‘I’m pretty sure Corinne thinks it is. Maybe you should just go with it. Sorry, I need to get back to work. Enjoy the lights if I don’t see you.’ And with that I stuck a smile on my face and headed over to where my customers had now decided which of the several delicious puddings Ned offered had taken their fancy.
19
‘You know she’ll eat him alive,’ Eloise said in a confidential whisper as we finished our shift.
I made a brief attempt at pretending not to understand what she was referring to, which my friend saw off with one look, so I gave up.
‘He’s a big chap. I’m sure he can look after himself.’
‘You heard what Gabe said about him. It sounds like he ran himself ragged trying to provide for and please his ex, and she still went off. And now he’s agreeing to take Corinne on a date, who between you and me, sounds very much of the same ilk as his last one?’
Winter at Wishington Bay Page 16
