Her Shameful Secret

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Her Shameful Secret Page 5

by Susanna Carr


  “And I didn’t take you anywhere but to bed?”

  She looked up sharply. “That’s not true! We had so much fun exploring the city. I got to see Rome through your eyes.”

  “Obviously that wasn’t enough.” He wasn’t enough, no matter what he had done and what he had given. “But you made up for lost time by attending every nightclub.”

  “I wasn’t interested in those parties. Or those people. I preferred the places we went to alone.”

  He’d like to believe that. When he had learned she was an art history student he had gone out of his way to take her to see private art collections and participate in specially guided tours. He had ignored all invitations to dinner parties and exclusive events because he hadn’t wanted to share Isabella.

  He’d thought she had felt the same. Isabella had never complained, or asked to go dancing. Isabella had never felt a need to dress up or entertain. The only other person who’d spent any time with them was his brother.

  “If any of this is true, what made you leave Gio?”

  She pressed her lips together. “I discovered that Giovanni was not my friend. He pounced when I was at my most vulnerable.”

  Antonio waited, but she didn’t reveal any more details. “You’ll have to do better than that.”

  Isabella exhaled slowly. “And then I found out about the lies he had spread. I was not unfaithful to you, and I don’t know why you would have believed him. You should have confronted me,” Isabella said, her voice wavering with emotion. “You should have told me about your suspicions.”

  He should have, but he knew what would have happened. He would have accepted her version because he’d wanted to believe her. He had wanted to be with her at any cost. Even now her story seemed plausible, even though she was carrying his brother’s baby.

  “But you cast me out.” She gestured to the front door with a flutter of her hand. “You had your security staff do your dirty work. I would never have thought you’d take the coward’s way out.”

  He had been cold and ruthless, but it had been an act of self-preservation. Isabella would have wrapped her magic around him, distracted him from the truth and made him believe anything.

  Like she was doing now.

  Right now he wanted to lean into Isabella. Sink into her soft, warm curves. Erase the past and drag her back to his bed. He was fighting her lure, but it was a losing battle. Her power over his senses, his mind, was humbling.

  “How am I the coward?” he asked. “You ran away when you saw me.”

  “Why do you seem so surprised? I knew that seeing you again would destroy everything I’ve done so far to recover.”

  Her actions had caused her downfall, not his. “And that’s why it’s imperative that you return to America?” he asked. “Why do you need to leave immediately?”

  “I want to go home and start over again.” Her mournful voice pulled at him. “I want to forget Italy and everything that happened here.”

  Her words tore at him. Isabella had been the most important part of his life. Everything had fallen by the wayside when they were together. He had treated her like a queen and put her needs first, but it hadn’t been enough for her.

  Now she wanted to forget all that. She would move on while he stayed behind, haunted by memories wherever he went.

  “I want to forget you.”

  He flinched as if he had been stabbed. No, he wouldn’t let that happen. They’d shared heaven together and now they would share hell. He wasn’t going to be the only one in torment. He would not carry the burden alone.

  “I won’t let you,” he said. He stood in front of her, trapping her against the window. “I’m going to make you remember what we had and you will regret everything you did to destroy it.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  ANTONIO’S kiss was hot, hard and possessive. Isabella felt the kick of exhilaration before it rushed through her bloodstream. Her skin heated as she softened against him.

  The flare in his dark eyes had been her only warning before his mouth claimed hers. At first she didn’t fight it. She’d never thought she’d get the chance again, and his kiss was just as magical as she remembered.

  Raw emotions crashed through her as she responded to his rough, hard mouth. He tasted of sensual, masculine power and a secret part of her wanted to surrender. Her heart pounded against her chest. Her flesh prickled with anticipation.

  Isabella knew she needed to pull away. She had to stop this madness before she passed the point of no return. Had to break the spell. She had to find a way to keep her distance from Antonio.

  Following her most primal instinct, Isabella sank her teeth into his bottom lip.

  Antonio reared back. The red mark on his mouth should have made her feel guilty, but it gave her a dark satisfaction seeing her brand on him. She felt the angry puff of his breath and risked a look at his eyes.

  An unholy glow leapt in them, and his face was taut with lust. Excitement lit through her body. She had unleashed something wickedly sensual she didn’t think she could control.

  Antonio crushed her against him, his strong arms caging her. She gasped as her breasts pressed hard against his chest. He plowed his hands into her hair, pushing the rubber band free before tangling his fingers into the long tresses. There was no escape, she realized as he kissed her.

  Antonio easily broke through her resistance as his tongue plunged into her mouth. She had physically ached from the loss of this passion. This was what she wanted back in her life, whatever the consequences.

  Isabella surrendered and sagged against Antonio. She grabbed onto his shoulders, needing to hold something solid as her world spun crazily. Her hands skimmed his back and she clutched his shirt, bunching the fine linen in her fists.

  Antonio’s growl of triumph vibrated deep in his chest. The sound tugged deep inside her as she rolled her hips restlessly against him.

  Isabella skimmed her hands over his broad chest, shoving his tie to one side. Her fingers fumbled with urgency against his strong neck before she speared her fingers through his thick hair. She ground her mouth against his, craving another taste of him.

  Antonio groaned with pleasure as he delved his tongue past her lips. Her skin tingled with anticipation as she drew him in deeper. He dominated and conquered her mouth, leaving her breathless.

  He leaned in and trapped her firmly against the window with his body. Isabella wanted to feel his hands all over her, wanted him to pleasure her as only he could. She rubbed her hips against his thick arousal, teasing him until his fingers clamped down on her waist. Antonio held her still, the strength and size of his hands sending a thrill down her spine.

  Tearing his mouth away from hers, Antonio muttered something in Italian against her cheek that she didn’t catch. He slanted his mouth against her throat and laved her heated skin with the tip of his tongue. Isabella fisted his hair and tilted her head back, offering him free rein.

  As he caressed her neck with his lips Antonio brushed his fingertips against the hem of her T-shirt. Her breath caught in her throat as he glided his hands along her ribcage. Isabella pressed her hands flat on the window behind her, arching her spine, brazenly offering herself to Antonio as he grazed his fingers along the underside of her breasts.

  Isabella swallowed hard as impatient need swirled inside her. Her legs trembled, her heart raced and desire clawed through her. She felt a hint of feminine pride as she watched his chest rise and fall rapidly as he fought for restraint. She knew then that he too felt the relentless compulsion, but he was trying to control it.

  Isabella didn’t want him to hold back. She needed Antonio to act on the wild desire that pulsated between them. She had to relive this feeling one more time.

  She reached for Antonio’s necktie and pulled it free. The silk hadn’t landed on the floor before she tore at his shirt buttons, her fingers scrabbling with haste. She parted the fine linen, exposing Antonio’s golden-brown chest. Clutching the shirt with both hands, Isabella dragged him closer,
until the hard, aching tips of her breasts rubbed against the coarse black hair on his chest.

  Isabella moaned as her nipples tightened against the soft cotton of her T-shirt. She wanted to feel his skin on her. Isabella shoved Antonio’s shirt off his powerful shoulders, desperate to feel more of him. She wanted all of him.

  “Say my name,” he said roughly as he dragged her shirt up.

  “Anto—” Isabella frowned, momentarily confused, until it dawned on her why he’d made that request. Did he believe she was thinking of Giovanni? She gasped against his mouth as hurt ricocheted inside her. Flattening her hands against his hard chest, she tried to push him away. “How dare you?” she said in a whisper.

  “Your eyes were closed,” he mocked. “And you weren’t saying anything. I wanted to make sure you knew which brother you were kissing.”

  Her palms stung with the need to slap him hard. She had surrendered to Antonio against her better judgment, but he’d seen it as another way to insult her. She shook with anger as she curled her hands into fists. “Get away from me.”

  Antonio ignored her command and grabbed her wrists. She tried to break his hold but he easily raised her hands high above her head. He held her captive and she was at his mercy.

  He leaned against her until his body was flush with hers. As much as she tried to fight it her body softened, welcoming him closer. His heat, his scent clouded her mind. The fierce pounding of her heart matched his.

  “Were you thinking of him when you kissed me?” he asked in a drawl.

  “No!” How could he think that? Couldn’t he tell that all she wanted—all she had ever wanted—was him? She rocked against Antonio in an attempt to break free.

  He captured her earlobe between his teeth. Isabella stilled as the nip sent a shower of sensation through her veins.

  “Does he kiss like me?” he whispered in her ear. “Do we taste the same?”

  Fury and lust whipped through her body. “You are disgusting.” But most of all she was disgusted with herself. How could she respond to his touch so immediately while he said those hurtful words?

  “Did you think of me when he was deep inside you?”

  “Stop it!”

  Antonio rested his forehead against hers. “I want to erase his claim on you,” he confessed in a harsh whisper. “I want to take you to bed and make you forget Gio.”

  “I am not going to bed with you.” She wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to drag him to his bed and make love all night long. But her heart would never recover. Isabella knew he would kick her out in the morning. The hurt, the pain of his rejection, would overshadow any pleasure he’d given her.

  He didn’t reply. Instead he dipped his head and trailed a row of soft kisses along the line of her clenched jaw. Isabella shut her eyes, her anticipation escalating as intense sensations billowed through her.

  “I mean it, Antonio,” she said, emphasizing his name. “I will not sleep with a man who thinks so little of me.”

  She felt his mouth curve into a smile. “Bella, we both know that’s not true.”

  He was right, and his certainty was humiliating. Antonio knew the power he held over her. One touch, one kiss and she wouldn’t deny him. She would make love to him anywhere, at any time. And she had.

  Antonio met her gaze, his dark eyes blurred with desire. “I only have to say the word and you would surrender completely.”

  Her skin flushed hotly. The only thing that kept her glaring right back at him was the reminder that there had been times when he had surrendered. When she had tapped into his fantasies. Once she’d had this power over him.

  Antonio claimed her mouth with his. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore Antonio captured her tongue and drew on it hard. She moaned as she felt the pull go deep into her pelvis. Pleasure spilt through her.

  “So responsive,” he murmured against her mouth. “You must have learned a lot in my brother’s bed.”

  She turned her head sharply and avoided his mouth. If only she could avoid his words. She couldn’t protect herself from his anger. From his accusations. He wanted to get close enough so she could share his pain, but she suspected he was getting caught in his own trap. And, even though he treated her like the enemy, she still clung to him.

  “I could take you right here against this window, but I can’t be sure whose name you’ll cry out.”

  Isabella flinched. She desperately wanted to retaliate. Make wild comparisons between Antonio and his brother. Call out Giovanni’s name. She wanted to hurt him so badly he would never recover.

  But she wouldn’t. His torment was hers. She was still in love with Antonio and had already caused him so much pain. She couldn’t forgive herself for that.

  “Are you done with this little demonstration?” she asked brokenly as she fought back the tears. “I’m tired and I want to go to bed. Alone.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that, Bella.” Antonio slowly let go of her hands and took a step back. “What we had was good, but I’ve never been interested in my brother’s cast-offs.”

  That burned. Isabella bolted away from him. Her movements were awkward and shaky as she walked across the room and grabbed her backpack. She wanted to keep walking. Out the door. Out of Antonio’s life.

  Let him think the worst of her. It didn’t matter anymore. They had no future together. She had already wasted so much time trying to get him back. What they’d had was a dream, and the beauty and magic were fading every minute she tried to hold onto it.

  “Leave and I’ll drag you back in here,” Antonio warned. “You are carrying the Rossi heir.”

  How could he be like this? So ruthless and hard after the kiss they’d just shared? And why couldn’t she be just as unemotional?

  She whirled around and glared at Antonio. His shirt was unbuttoned, his hair mussed, but he still had a commanding presence. He was in control while she felt like she was being tossed from one crashing wave after another.

  “I was in love with you,” she announced bitterly.

  Antonio didn’t show any sign of surprise. That rankled. He knew how she’d felt. He had always known. And it didn’t make a difference.

  “I was so deeply and so foolishly in love,” she said. “It was the reason that I put my future on hold.”

  “I never asked you to do that.”

  “I changed the course of my life to be with you,” she said as she walked across the length of the room to the doorway, avoiding Antonio. “And right at this moment I regret it.”

  His eyes glittered with anger. “You regret getting caught. You didn’t expect Gio to tell me the truth.”

  “I regret you,” she retaliated. She wasn’t sure if it was true. Her emotions were running high. Frustration billowed through her chest. “You were the biggest mistake of my life. But don’t worry, Antonio. I learn from my mistakes and I never repeat them.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  MORNINGS were the worst.

  Isabella groaned as she sat on the bathroom floor, her bare legs sprawled on the cold linoleum. She had to get up and get dressed. She wished she could sit here until her stomach settled, but she didn’t have the luxury of time.

  How was she going to get through this pregnancy? Hell, how was she going to get through this morning?

  Another question slipped into her mind and she couldn’t push it away fast enough.

  How was she going to be a mother?

  A heavy ache settled in her chest. She was scared of going through this alone. She wasn’t ready to be a parent. A single mom. Isabella had always assumed she would be a mother one day. Far, far in the future. But in the meantime she’d had other plans. A few goals she’d wanted to accomplish. She had promised her mother.

  Isabella weakly closed her eyes. If her mother were alive, she would be devastated by the news. Before Jody Williams had become ill she had done everything possible to give her daughter the opportunities she hadn’t had. Isabella remembered the litany of advice and warnings. Finish college bef
ore you have a child … Never rely on a man … Protect yourself …

  At the time Isabella had thought her mother had a bitter view of the world, but her negativity was understandable. Jody’s dreams had been cut short when she’d become a teen mother. Everyone had turned her back on her. The first one to walk away had been the father of her child. Stay away from the rich ones, her mother had said frequently. They have so many choices that they don’t know how to commit.

  Isabella wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. She had been so certain that nothing could sidetrack her from her dreams. No man would stand in her way.

  She had been so arrogant. So naïve. But she couldn’t dwell on that anymore. Now she needed to protect herself and her child. She would be as strong and resilient as her mother had been for her.

  She slowly stood, her legs shaky and weak. Her stomach churned and she tried desperately to ignore it. Clutching the rim of the sink, Isabella turned on the faucet and rinsed her mouth out with water. She splashed her face and glanced up in the mirror.

  Her hair, which had once been her glory, fell limp against her shoulders. She was pale, her eyes dull and her lips colorless. She saw the strain tightening her features. She was a mess. It would take hours to make her appearance presentable. Normal. Even longer until she felt that way.

  The morning sickness was worse today, Isabella decided as she reached for a towel. Was it from the lack of sleep? The stress? Why did it have to be today, when she needed to be strong as she faced Antonio and demanded her plane ticket? She couldn’t show any weakness around him.

  “Bella?”

  Panic radiated from her chest to her arms and legs when she heard the authoritative knock on her bedroom door. No! He couldn’t come in here. He couldn’t see her like this. Bella propelled herself forward just as Antonio entered her bedroom.

  She slammed the bathroom door closed but it was already too late. He had seen her. He had stopped in mid-step at the sight of her in a T-shirt and panties. She could only hope her skimpy sleepwear had distracted him from the dark circles under her eyes and the greenish cast of her complexion.

 

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