by Susanna Carr
“I want you to know that I only had three boyfriends before I met you. And there was never any overlapping between. I also think you should know that I never had a one-night stand. I don’t jump into bed with just anyone.”
Three? That was it? Antonio was deeply grateful she didn’t ask how many sexual partners he had had. He wasn’t surprised that she had fallen into his bed the first day they’d met. They’d had an instantaneous connection and it had been so powerful she’d done something she wouldn’t normally do.
“That day we met was special. Perfect,” he said in a husky voice. “Too perfect.”
“Too perfect?” She raised her eyebrows. “Is there such a thing?”
“Yes, because I always knew something that perfect couldn’t last.” He had often thought that Isabella had broken down his barriers, but now he realized that wasn’t true. She had knocked some of them down, but he hadn’t been as unguarded as he’d thought.
“It was supposed to be a fling,” Isabella said. “It lasted longer than it should have because … Well, I held on longer than I should have.” She looked away as she blushed. “I didn’t mean to do that. I pushed too hard and I clung on tight when I should have let go.”
“No, that’s not true.” When she’d pushed, he’d known she cared. When she had deferred her college education, he hadn’t taken it for granted. He wasn’t used to his loved ones choosing him first. It had felt strange and temporary. As if somehow he would mess it up and her loyalty would be taken away from him. That was why he had always been on his guard. “Maybe you should have pushed harder.”
Isabella couldn’t hide her surprise. “Are you kidding me?”
Antonio wasn’t sure how to explain why he’d acted the way he had. He wasn’t comfortable exposing this side of him. “We had a whirlwind affair. Everything was fast and furious.”
“What’s wrong with that?” she asked with a smile.
“I tried to shove a lifetime of memories into a few months, knowing it couldn’t last.” He frowned as he thought about what he had just said. “Expecting it wouldn’t last.”
“I don’t understand,” Isabella said, her smile fading. “Why couldn’t it last? Did you expect me to cheat on you?”
“No, not exactly. I expected that it wouldn’t take much for you to leave my side,” he said. “I had nothing to hold you. You didn’t want my money or enjoy high society. The sex was amazing, but I didn’t think it was enough to keep you in my bed. For all I knew it was always like that for you.”
“I was interested in you, Antonio,” Isabella said. She looked stunned, with wide eyes and parted lips. “You were my world. I thought it was obvious. I would never have chosen your brother over you.”
“But I didn’t know that.” He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Isabella had been faithful. He, however, hadn’t shown any faith in her. “You were right: all Gio needed to do was plant a kernel of suspicion. I took care of the rest.”
“Because you don’t think anyone can be loyal to you. I understand that now.” She rested her shoulder against the doorframe and sighed. “I wish I had known that a long time ago. I should have seen it.”
“But you were loyal,” he insisted. “You always took my side when you read the news or when my brother tried to rile me up. I noticed, but I didn’t trust it. It was too good to be true. Even after all I did you didn’t give up on me. You stayed here. You kept fighting for us.”
But he had refused to see it that way. When she had remained in Rome with Gio he’d thought it was evidence of her infidelity. He had twisted her actions into proof that she’d betrayed him.
“Yeah,” Isabella muttered, “that wasn’t one of my better ideas.”
Antonio barely heard her as he accepted he had been wrong. He’d allowed his insecurities to poison something beautiful. His actions sickened him. Isabella hadn’t destroyed him. He had destroyed everything. He was his own worst enemy.
“I’m sorry, Isabella.” His throat felt tight, but he had to get the words out. “What I put you through was unforgivable. None of this was your fault. I’m to blame.”
She stared at him in surprise. It was obvious she’d never expected an apology and that shamed him even more.
Isabella nervously darted her tongue along her lips. “It’s not unforgivable.”
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Your kindness,” he said slowly. “Even now, after all I’ve said and done, after I promised you a ticket back to Los Angeles, you’re still here. Simply because I asked.”
“Well …” She nervously pressed her hand against her chest and cleared her throat. “My motivations aren’t that pure.”
Antonio heard the sensual promise in her voice and his heartbeat began to gallop. His gaze slowly traveled from her eyes to her feet. “So I gather.”
Isabella didn’t know what she was doing. No, that wasn’t quite true. She had plans to seduce Antonio. She had done it dozens of time before without second-guessing herself. But this time she wasn’t sure. Would he reject her out of guilt? Bed her and then have a change of heart once the sun came up? He’d asked for forgiveness, but would he cruelly kick her out of his bed again?
His reaction could be even worse. What would Antonio think of her if she propositioned him? She had told him the truth about her sexual past, but did he believe her? Her brazen act could blow up in her face. He could twist it around and believe that her passionate nature couldn’t be contained. That she wanted a man—any man. He might even believe that she’d seduced Giovanni in the same manner.
That thought made her want to run back to the safety of her room. But she didn’t want to play it safe anymore. She didn’t want to stand on the sidelines and wait for permission. She wanted to live again. Love. Be with Antonio once more.
She took a step forward. Her legs shook, but there was no way she could hide it. Isabella knew she should have worn something different. She wished she had sexy lingerie or something more feminine. She shouldn’t attempt to seduce someone as sophisticated as Antonio wearing an oversized T-shirt. In the past it hadn’t mattered what she wore, but then she had been confident of the outcome. This time she needed all the help she could get.
She shouldn’t even attempt this, she decided as she took another step forward, but she knew she hadn’t been bold since the moment Antonio had kicked her out of his bed. She had lost everything that was important to her and become too afraid to make a move. Those days were over. She wanted to be her old self again.
Antonio closed his laptop computer, his eyes never leaving hers. He rose from his chair and walked around his desk. He was silent and his movements were deliberate, reminding her of a hunter circling his prey.
Isabella’s stomach clenched as her gaze traveled down the length of him. Antonio Rossi was effortlessly sexy. His shirt accentuated his broad shoulders and muscular arms. She shivered as she remembered what it was like to be held in his embrace.
She had always felt safe and secure when she was in his arms. She could go wild with lust and still know Antonio would take care of her. He would take to the heights of ecstasy and hold her when she felt like she would shatter into pieces. And then he would curl her against his chest and hold her all night long.
Desire, thick and overpowering, coiled tight in her belly as her gaze traveled from his flat stomach to the dark jeans that emphasized his powerful legs. She noticed his bare feet and her mouth twitched into a small smile. She always liked it when he was casual and barefoot. It didn’t make him any less intimidating. Instead it stripped away another layer of civility and gave her a glimpse of the earthy man underneath.
Isabella slowly raised her gaze back to his face. Her skin went hot when she saw the lust in his dark eyes. She didn’t have to worry whether or not her seduction was going to work. He was going to take her to bed before she could make a move. He was going to make love to her. Hard, fast and wild.
She could barely catch her breath as the excitement pressed against her chest. Antonio wou
ld make love to every inch of her. She shook with anticipation and her knees threatened to collapse.
The baby.
Isabella lowered her gaze, shielding her thoughts from Antonio. What would he think about the gradual changes in her body? Her breasts already seemed larger and more sensitive. Her belly wasn’t as flat as it used to be. And what if she woke up in his bed and had morning sickness? That would permanently ruin the mood.
Maybe she was taking too much of a risk. She should back down. Accept that what they had was truly over. Run away. Go back to her room and lock the door.
Isabella hated that idea. Her feet refused to move. She didn’t want to give up Antonio. It was time to reclaim him and the woman she’d used to be. It was time to be bold and grab her dreams before they got away from her.
She wanted this. She raised her lashes and looked directly in his eyes. She wanted Antonio. She would regret not having this one last time with him. She couldn’t get back what they’d used to have, but she could end this relationship with a happy memory.
“I need to know something first,” Isabella said in a rush as emotions swirled around her so fast that she could barely speak. What she was about to ask could ruin the moment, but she needed to know. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t hesitate or embellish. She saw the certainty in his eyes. One little word and he had given her something she’d never thought she’d have again. He trusted her.
That was all she needed to know.
CHAPTER TEN
ISABELLA had longed for Antonio for months. His touch had haunted her and she knew she would never have the same experience with another man. She trembled before him, eager to touch him again—but what if they couldn’t recapture the magic? What if everything that has happened between them cast a dark shadow and she could never reach that pinnacle of beauty and love again?
Their gazes clashed and Isabella felt the anticipation stirring deep inside her. From the look in his eyes, Antonio had no qualms. He knew what he wanted and he wasn’t going to wait anymore.
Isabella’s gasp was muffled as he claimed her mouth with his. He demanded entry and she kissed him hungrily, matching his aggression. She couldn’t fight her shameful response to his forceful nature.
He bunched her cotton T-shirt in his hands. Isabella wanted him to wrench it from her body. Tear it off. She felt the tremor in his fingers as he peeled the shirt over her breasts and shoulders. When he pulled it over her head and tossed it on the floor Isabella knew he was trying to slow down. Hold back. He didn’t want to scare her with the intensity he felt. Didn’t he realize that she felt the same?
Antonio gathered her close against him. She sighed when he wrapped his arms around her. His shirt rasped her tight nipples and she moaned against his mouth. His hands slid down her body as he roughly caressed her curves. He impatiently shoved her panties down her legs. When she kicked them aside, he grabbed her waist and pressed her against his erection.
Isabella felt her desire heat and thicken as it flared low in her pelvis. She knew this was going to be fast and furious. She already felt out of control. Her world tilted and she grabbed onto Antonio’s shirt.
She felt Antonio lower her onto the floor. Their kisses grew untamed. She pulled him closer as he knelt between her legs. Isabella felt surrounded by Antonio as she inhaled his scent and felt masculine heat coming off him in waves. All she could see and feel was him, but it wasn’t enough. She needed him closer. She needed him deep inside her.
Isabella jerked her mouth away, her lips swollen, her lungs burning for air. She grabbed the back of his head, clutching at his dark, thick hair as he licked trail down her neck.
His hands were everywhere and she offered no resistance. He knew what she liked. Antonio remembered her pleasure points, teasing and stroking her until she didn’t think she could take it anymore. Antonio’s touch was merciless as he wrung out every bit of pleasure.
Her defenses were crumbling. She couldn’t wait, and the forbidden thrill chased through her blood. She wanted to see Antonio in his conquering glory. She wanted him to claim her heart and soul.
As Antonio drew her nipple deep in his mouth he boldly cupped her mound with his hand. She bucked against his possessive touch, moaning as Antonio dipped his fingers into her moist heat.
Isabella stretched her arms on the floor in surrender. She was his for the taking. He gently massaged her sex, teasing her as he kissed along her hipbone. She bucked her hips restlessly. She thought she was going to go out of her mind with wanting.
“More.” Her breaths came out in short pants. She wanted it all, and she wanted it right now, because she didn’t think she’d get another chance.
Antonio didn’t respond, but she knew he wouldn’t deny her. She could ask for anything and he’d give it to her. He always fulfilled her deepest needs. He parted her legs wider with a forceful hand and lowered his mouth against her sex. Isabella cried out in ecstasy at the first flick of his tongue.
His touch was just as addictive as she remembered. Antonio swiftly took her to the edge and then held back. She begged for his touch, pleaded for satisfaction as he took her pleasure to another level. Just when she thought her mind would shatter, Antonio granted her the sexual release she craved. He ruthlessly drove her over the edge and a white-hot climax consumed her.
She was shaking with the aftershocks when she heard the rustle of his clothes and felt the tip of his penis pressing against the entrance to her core. Isabella groaned when he gave a savage thrust. She tilted her hips to accommodate his heavy thickness and curled her fingers into his shoulders, digging her nails into his shirt.
Antonio withdrew almost completely. Isabella cried out as her core clenched. She then saw the look on Antonio’s face. His features were blunted with lust and his eyes glittered with need.
“I can never get enough of you,” he growled as he plunged into her.
His thrusts were long and measured. It was testament to his willpower. But as Isabella went wild underneath him his relentless rhythm broke free. He grabbed her hips, his fingers digging into her skin, and sank deep into her heat. He tensed and shuddered as she let out a hoarse cry of triumph.
He collapsed onto her. Isabella wrapped her arms around him as his choppy breath warmed the crook of her neck. Antonio didn’t say anything as they tried to catch their breath. She felt small tremors rocking her heated body as Antonio raised his head.
“Don’t fall asleep on me now, Bella.” He looked down at her face, his eyes gleaming with sensual promise as he picked her up and carried her out of the room. “The night has just begun.
Isabella gasped and her eyes widened as she escaped from a bad dream. She jackknifed into a sitting position and looked around, ready to escape. Her heart was racing. She was shivering but her skin felt hot and sweaty.
It took her a few moments before she recognized her surroundings. It was turning dawn. In Rome, she noticed as she glanced through the window. She was in Antonio’s bedroom. Not Giovanni’s.
She was with Antonio. Isabella studied him in the shadowy room as he lay sleeping. He was sprawled across the bed, naked and glorious. She wasn’t reliving that horrible moment three months ago. It was just a bad dream mixed with a bad memory.
Isabella instinctively reached for Antonio to rouse him. She needed to be in his strong arms. There she would feel safe and secure. Her fingers slowly curled against his shoulders and she stopped herself.
What was she thinking? She couldn’t tell Antonio about her bad dream. She couldn’t discuss Giovanni. Not while they were sharing a bed. Not when they just had made love. Antonio would think she was comparing him with his brother.
Isabella pressed her hand against her head. She felt a little dizzy from moving so fast. She lowered herself carefully, gently resting her head on the pillow, and faced Antonio.
When would she stop having these dreams? Isabella cautiously closed her eyes, hoping she didn’t fall into a troubled sleep again. She
had heard that pregnant women often had strange dreams and nightmares. Something about worry and hormones colliding. Isabella really hoped that wasn’t the case. She didn’t think she could take another six months of this.
Isabella stilled when Antonio shifted. His arm draped over her side and he nestled her against his chest. She pressed her lips together as she resisted temptation to melt against him. As Antonio cradled her his large hand spanned her abdomen.
Her breath caught in her lungs as the protective gesture nearly undid her. Even in his sleep he was fulfilling his promise. He would look after this baby. Emotions stung her eyes and clogged her throat. She didn’t move and she kept her eyes closed.
Had he noticed the changes in her body? She didn’t think he had. Throughout the night he had shown his appreciation for her body. He had been fascinated and had paid particular attention to her breasts. Isabella blushed at the erotic memories. From what she remembered, he’d made no mention of any changes.
She waited for Antonio to move his hand. Nothing happened. He continued to sleep soundly as she rested her head against his bare chest. His warm breath wafted over her skin and his broad chest rubbed against her back. Isabella slowly exhaled, but the tension didn’t leave her body.
Isabella reached for Antonio’s hand and carefully removed it from her stomach. She couldn’t let him get this close. She couldn’t get used to this. She had already taken too many risks. All for the sake of being with Antonio one more time.
It had been worth it, but she couldn’t indulge in this kind of recklessness. The child was reality and Antonio was fantasy. She needed to remember that.
She didn’t want to hide anything from Antonio, but she had to protect herself. She wasn’t going to look for emotional support from him only to feel the sharp sting of rejection. It was only a matter of time before Antonio would move on and find a suitable woman. A society wife. She needed to rely on her strength and not his when that happened.
Isabella squeezed her eyes shut as tears burned. She took a choppy breath and slowly turned around, her back facing Antonio. She wanted to talk through her fears about being pregnant and share her dreams for her child. But she couldn’t. She had to go through this alone.
