“Hey, Tan. You should see this view. I wish you could’ve come on this trip with me. You would’ve loved it.”
Liz was happy to hear from Tanner, but her feelings were completely conflicted. She really wanted everything she was experiencing to be with Tanner, but he was too far away. And Liz couldn’t tell if she was falling for Adam because he was the guy filling the role she’d wanted Tanner to fill, or if it was based on who Adam was as a person.
“I wish I could have too. You know I do. I’d love to see what you’re seeing right now.”
“Here, I’ll show you.” She moved the phone in a circle.
Shouts from his side of the phone made her flip the phone back around. “Everything okay?” she asked.
Tanner was talking away from the phone. It was muffled, so she couldn’t make it out.
“Tanner?”
More talking, but not directed toward her.
“Sorry, Liz, I have to do something real quick. Give me five minutes.” The line went dead.
Liz stared down at her phone. “Are you kidding me?”
She sat down on a rock and pulled her knees up to her chest, willing the tears to stay in her eyes, but they wouldn’t. She had been so excited to talk to him. Now she wanted to chuck her phone into the ocean.
What was she doing? It wasn’t okay that Tanner treated her this way. They got to speak for five minutes, once a day, if that. Was it too much to ask for those five minutes to be between the two of them?
Liz stared out at quite possibly one of the most beautiful landscapes she’d ever seen and then found her gaze moving toward Adam as he carefully jumped from rock to rock, and then eventually he sat down on one as well.
Adam cared for her, a lot. He’d abided by her wishes to remain friends and stopped posting pictures, respecting her every desire to ensure her relationship with Tanner stayed intact. But somehow, over the last couple of weeks, Liz felt far more comfortable with Adam than she’d felt with Tanner in a long time. The confusing thoughts and emotions swirling inside her threatened to drive her mad.
Her phone rang, and she almost dropped it.
“Hello?” There’s no way Tanner didn’t pick up on the anger in her voice.
“Sorry about that, babe. Emergency question about where to store the siding.”
“Was it an emergency? So important that it had to interrupt the five-minute phone call I get with you? That I didn’t have with you yesterday, may I remind you.”
“Whoa, calm down. It’s important we store them properly. We don’t want them getting ruined and delaying the build.” More voices from his end. He moved the phone away from his mouth and gave directions about where to store the windows.
“Maybe you should just go,” she whispered. And of course, that was the moment he decided to rejoin the conversation.
“Excuse me?” Tanner asked.
Liz took in a shaky breath and contemplated making something up. But she was so tired of having him ruin her mood every time he called. Just another reminder that there were more important things for him than those few minutes with her.
“Maybe you should just go,” she repeated.
“What are you saying?”
Liz didn’t quite know. What she did know was that she was on her dream vacation with a guy who literally would do anything to make her happy. Even things he knew would piss her off initially, but lead to the best memories a girl could ask for. Like that private tour at Hearst Castle. How crazy was it for her to keep pushing someone like Adam away for a man who couldn’t even manage five minutes?
“I’m saying, I think we need a break.” The words were out before she thought them. But after they left her mouth, she knew she had never spoken truer words.
“A break?” Tanner’s voice came out in a rush of disbelief.
“Your focus is elsewhere, Tanner. Let’s face it. If the five-minute phone call you get with your fiancée isn’t the thing you look forward to most in your day, something is wrong.” Nothing came from the other side of the phone. “I mean, am I wrong?”
“All of this started when you met Adam Winslow,” he said, his voice slightly elevated.
Anger boiled under Liz’s skin. She had done everything to make sure that wasn’t the case, short of declining his help for this trip.
“No, Tanner. All this started when you bailed on the trip with the woman you’re supposed to love more than anything. The trip you knew was more important to me than virtually anything else in the world. Everything else except you. Which is why I let you go back to Honduras and leave me to do this myself. The last thing I need from you is the constant grief I get over the circumstances that made this trip work.”
“Wow. You’re really angry,” he said sharply.
“Yes. I am really angry. And I’ve been trying my best not to be angry, and selfish, and all those other words that can get thrown into this situation, but I’m done trying. Because despite all this effort, you don’t seem to care.”
Liz looked out at the ocean and listened to it crash against the shore over the silence that emanated from Tanner’s side. Adam glanced back at her, concern evident in his eyes. She couldn’t help the contrast between how he treated her and the anger and hurt that Liz felt coming from Tanner, even though he was worlds away.
“I guess we do need a break,” Tanner said.
“It’s for the best. This way you can focus all your attention on your volunteering. And can you do something for me?”
“What?” It came out like a growl.
“As you finish your time in Honduras, ask yourself if you could give it up for the woman you love. Even if it was only for a month, or a year. A relationship is built on sacrifices, and I’m wondering if we’ve both discovered things we aren’t willing to give up.”
“Sure.” Voices floated through the phone, and at least Tanner didn’t have the audacity to answer them in the heated moment. “I’ll think on it, and I’ll call you when I have an answer.”
“Okay.”
Liz thought he had hung up, but then he spoke again. “So just to be clear, we are officially broken up, right? For now?” What the hell was asking for clarification for? Maybe he wanted something else. She wasn’t really thinking of breaking up, just taking a few weeks to review their feelings, but if he was going to put it that way.
“Sounds like it.”
“Talk to you later.” His voice was tight and angry.
“Bye.”
Liz gave herself a few more minutes to think through everything and let the tears and fury dry up. This was the right thing. They both needed to seriously think about their priorities. Liz hoped Tanner would realize his love for her ran deeper than his desire to help people thousands of miles away. But she feared that wouldn’t be the conclusion he’d come to. And that really hurt.
Even though all the anger hadn’t subsided, it felt wrong to hold up Adam’s vacation, so she got up and walked over to him.
She found him sitting high on a rock. He beamed down at her, and then the smile quickly disappeared. “Okay, I’m not going to play dumb. That conversation didn’t sound great.”
Liz let out a sigh. “It wasn’t. We’re on a break. We both have things we need to think through.”
Adam scowled at his phone. “You know, the only time we are ever unhappy on this trip is when we get a phone call.”
“No kidding. This trip would be a whole lot more peaceful without phones.” Though now that her and Tanner were on a break, there wasn’t much else to worry about. A small weight lifted off her chest.
“We should chuck them into the ocean,” Adam said with a grin.
“Right.”
“No, we really should.” Adam looked way too happy about that idea.
Liz chuckled. “I know you have more money than God, but I don’t. I’m not tossing my phone in the ocean.”
“I’ll buy you another one when we get to Vancouver. Let’s go phoneless for a couple of weeks. Just you and me with no other distractions. I bet
we’ll never argue.”
“It would be less stressful.” It would be more of a lifted burden on him than her though. He was far more connected to the world than she was. For him to step away from work and his father would probably be the perfect way to spend the rest of their vacation.
And she wouldn’t have to worry about those damn Instagram photos anymore. “We should probably tell someone, so that no one worries.”
“Okay, let’s each text one person, and then we’ll throw them together,” Adam suggested.
She fired off a quick text to Jenny. Going off the grid for the next week. Just FYI.
A reply came almost immediately.
I’ll bet you are. Enjoy snuggling with your studmuffin. For the first time since the trip started, Liz let herself smile.
“You ready?” Adam asked.
“Hang on. One more.” She sent a message to her dad as well. “Now I am.”
He stood up on the rock and pulled Liz up with him. He had to steady her with his arm around her waist so she didn’t fall off the other side. For the brief moment she was in his arms, she felt safe, without a touch of guilt. She looked up into his eyes, so full of excitement and possibility. Unattached to the whole world, this could very well be the best week of her life.
Adam let her go, and they stood next to each other, facing the ocean.
“Okay, on three,” Adam said. “One. Two. Three.”
Liz whipped her arm back and threw the phone as far as she could. Adam did the same, and they both splashed far out into the ocean. She let out a breath and closed her eyes, feeling the ocean spray against her face and fill her lungs with the salt of the water. Freedom. That’s what she felt.
It was new to her. And she loved it.
Chapter 18
That afternoon, Liz hummed to the music and tapped her hand against her leg. She felt better about this break from Tanner than she probably should.
“You’re so calm,” Adam mused.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I’ve got crazy anxieties right now.”
She laughed. “Because you’re without your phone? That doesn’t surprise me. It was kind of attached to your hand.”
“Good point.” He smiled. “What’s on the agenda for today?”
“This is supposed to be a really nice campground. I’d actually planned on getting in early and taking care of housekeeping things. I built in a day for it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to do a lot of that on the road. Brookings is a bigger town, so it should have a laundromat. We can clean out the tent and the coolers and stuff. Tomorrow we’ll be in Newport and in a hotel, so there won’t be space to do that.”
“Isn’t that where Tanner was supposed to propose?”
She didn’t want to think about that. “Yeah. But I’m still looking forward to staying at the hotel. Hopefully they’ll have a room for you as well. Do you read?”
“Read? Sometimes, but I’m more of a movie guy.”
“Oh. Well, every room in the hotel is based off of an author. Tanner booked it, so I have no idea what room I’m staying in.” The sting she thought would come with saying his name, didn’t.
“Who’s your favorite author?”
“I don’t have one. That’s why Tanner chose. I couldn’t decide. J. K. Rowling. Jane Austen. Tolkien. Shakespeare. There were too many good choices.” Her voice trailed off and she stared out the window. She didn’t want to talk about Tanner.
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Sure, why wouldn’t I?”
“Just checking.”
She wiped her hand on her jeans. “I’m still a little shell shocked about the break, but he needs to think through his priorities, what makes him happy, and decide where I fall on that list. And I intend to do the same.”
“You’ve always had him on top,” Adam noted.
“Well, thanks. I thought so too, but I don’t think he sees it that way. The distance makes it hard.” Liz sighed loudly. “It’ll all work out.” And for the first time when she said this, she believed it.
Though she had to admit she wasn’t sure what “working out” would actually look like.
Adam grew quiet. Liz wondered what he was thinking. She was on a roll now though, so she kept going.
“I fell in love with Tanner for many different reasons. When he and I are together, it’s like no else exists. He tells me I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. And he means it. He gets along with my father and anytime he comes to my house, he’s always offering to help with something, and my dad loves him for it. He’s fantastic with children. He’s also genuinely happy all the time. Just being around him brings a smile to my face.”
She paused. This was good. She needed to be reminded of what she loved about him.
“That’s all you got? Sounds boring.”
“Boring isn’t a bad thing. But you know something else. He’s never once pushed me to do something I don’t want to do. He accepted the fact that I wouldn’t kiss him until there was a ring on my finger. How many guys would do that?”
Adam shrugged. “I would hope that most guys would respect your wishes.”
“Oh, come on, be real. Would you?”
“Sure. But you’d have a ring on your finger in less than a month.”
“Really?” Her stomach buzzed. What would it be like to be engaged to Adam Winslow? To kiss those beautiful lips? “And you’d wait for sex?” she asked before she could stop herself.
“We’d elope.”
“Yeah, whatever.” She couldn’t believe she was actually entertaining these thoughts. Maybe she wasn’t. Not really. Maybe she was.
Adam pulled into a scenic overlook, but he made no move to get out of the car. “Listen. I’ve never wanted anything in my life except you, and you make this impossible. I want you in my life even if means just as a friend. For the first time in my life, I feel like my eyes have been opened, and I’m experiencing it as it should be. You did that. Now, I’m willing to stand back as you marry Tanner. I won’t interfere if I think you’ll be happy, especially since I want to stay your friend.
“But you have to know. If you were to say the word, we’d find the nearest courthouse and get married today. I’d give up everything for you.”
Liz sat back in her seat, plastering herself against the side of the car. His words excited her, took her breath away. The passion and truth in them were surprising and intoxicating. But she couldn’t fathom how he could possibly be that certain.
“Don’t be silly. We’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks. High school doesn’t count.”
“That’s what I’m telling you. You’ve fundamentally changed me. The short amount of time doesn’t matter.”
Liz’s heart raced. She didn’t know what to say. What would her future look like if she gave into him?
She chewed on her bottom lip and looked at Adam. Life with him would be exciting and fun, but she didn’t know enough about him to know if she trusted him or not. She did like him, though, and she’d be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t attracted to him. Hell, every woman in America was attracted to him.
But to take a leap with him would be risky.
She couldn’t take it anymore. She climbed out of the car and walked to the cliff and stared out over the ocean. There was such a wide world out there. Maybe it would be better with Adam Winslow in it.
The car door slammed, and Adam joined her, his shoulders tense.
“You know, usually when a man confesses those kinds of feelings for a woman, he gets some sort of reaction. I would’ve been happy with a ‘no way in hell.’ Happier with a ‘where’s my ring?’ Nothing at all? Not sure what that’s about.”
Liz was surprised she was more inclined to say where’s my ring. She let out a breath, reached for his hand, and wove her fingers into his. His hands were different than Tanner’s. His palm was wider, with long fingers. He squeezed her hand and smiled at her.
“Snow, I still have no idea what you’re th
inking.”
“Tanner and I aren’t together right now.”
“Right.”
“So…” She looked at their interlocked fingers. Was she really going to do this? Say yes to exploring this? “No rings,” she said quickly. “At least, not yet.”
“Okay, then.”
“Please promise me that no matter what, we’ll still be friends.” She had such few close relationships and she wanted to hold onto this thing with Adam no matter what.
“Of course. What do you want to do today? Go straight into the campground or play on the beach for a while?”
Nona nudged her hand. “I say beach for a little while, and then let’s try to get into Brookings before dinner.”
They followed a small trail down to the water. Nona raced into it without hesitation. Adam threw a stick for her and sat down in the sand. He motioned for Liz to sit down as well and caught her on the way down. He pulled her into his lap.
“Adam,” she squealed as he wrapped his arms around her and spread his legs out so she was sitting on the ground with her back pressed into his chest. They had never touched this much before, and her body was on fire.
“What? I’m not kissing you.”
She snorted and laid her head back on his shoulders, liking the way he felt. She relished in the strength of his chest and the slow rise and fall of his breathing. This felt way too good.
“How do you picture your future?” Adam asked.
“Are you in this picture?”
“Of course.” There was a lot in those words that remained unsaid. Liz could practically fill in the blanks of where he pictured himself.
“Right. Well. I still want my shop.”
“Shops, you mean.”
“What?”
“Why settle for just one? We’ll put them all over Vegas. It’s a good business plan. I’d invest in it. Hell, even if you decide to marry someone else, I’ll still invest in them.”
“There’s a perk I hadn’t considered.” He really could give her the world.
“I’m sure there are a lot. Would you want to stay in Vegas or live somewhere else?”
“How about the coast?”
“A house right here would be nice.”
Roadtrips and Romance (Omega Mu Alpha Brothers Book 5) Page 12
