• Bluntly. Some people just need to be told to shut the fuck up. Unfortunately, not everyone has the common sense to follow my three-second rule. They don’t hear the cop in their head and so they need someone else to help them out. And that is where you come in. Ask yourself this: “Would I be better off if this person wasn’t talking right now?” “Would this person be better off if they weren’t talking right now?” If you feel obliged to find a polite way to get the point across, then so be it. “Thanks for your opinion.” “I’m good.” “Got it. You can stop now.” There are lots of versions, but when all those more modest phrases fail, you should know that you can always rely on my perennial favorite: “Shut the fuck up.” Don’t be fazed by the shut-the-fuck-upee’s deer-in-headlights moment. If the stunned look on their face seems to say “I can’t believe you just said that to me,” then so be it. You have to believe that telling them to be quiet is the best strategy for everyone involved. And now I’ll shut the fuck up on the subject.
So Why Did I Write This Book, Anyway?
THROUGHOUT THE PROCESS OF writing this book, there have been moments when I have wanted to rip my hair out (luckily, I know some good hairdressers who could fix me right up). Writing is difficult enough, but writing about yourself can be, well, excruciating. Believe it or not—and I hate it when public people say this—I am a very private person. And I encourage privacy. In fact, when I am dealing with my staff or the owners of failing salons and they start to spill their guts about their private lives, I will often tell them: “That sounds like a personal problem.” And I don’t do personal problems.
So why would I sit down and write a memoir?
While I have enjoyed living my life and wouldn’t trade any of my own experiences, no matter how challenging or painful, my stories, and the life lessons I learned from them, probably aren’t any more interesting than yours (and hopefully not less interesting!). The fact of the matter is, when we write or talk through our life stories, it gives us room to reflect and to better understand how we have become the person that we are. We can all find lessons in life.
Clearly, a big part of this book has been me encouraging you to get in touch with your inner bitch and a big part of that journey is being honest with yourself and others. I would encourage you to write down your own stories and use the process of writing as a way to be honest with yourself and learn from your experiences. Writing, whether it’s a book or a diary or a letter, is a great way to look inside yourself and transform yourself—even before you sit down in the salon chair. And the more you know yourself and learn about yourself, the bigger the transformation you can have in that salon chair. Because when you know who you are on the inside, you can reflect that on the outside.
As you discover your real self, don’t be scared to show that person to the people in your life. I don’t just mean the new hairdo, I mean the inner discoveries, as well. Let your thoughts, your mistakes, and your moral compass be known more completely to the people you care about. And maybe the people in your life will take their own lessons from your stories.
Acknowledgments
I TAKE “THANK YOUS” very seriously. To me, the words have to be earned and they have to be meant. I am not one to thank someone for something that they don’t deserve or that they should do without thanks; thank you is never false or empty for me. That said, I am not begrudging about saying thanks either. They shouldn’t be difficult words to say when they are real. The words should come easily because you believe them. And if you don’t believe them, don’t use them. Thank you is so overused now that it can be meaningless when uttered. Luckily, the people in my life know me better. I don’t say anything I don’t mean. So, I would like to thank several people for their efforts in helping me with this book. . . .
To all those whom I love, you know who you are. I appreciate you more than I can ever put into words. THANK YOU for your love, support, help, and for being my rocks.
Heather Schuster, you are more than my EP, you are my cookie jar, and I can’t thank you enough. To Mary Rector and Behind the Chair, thank you for your continued support and friendship. To Hama Sanders, thank you for the beautiful photographs and for making me feel like a super model! To Damien Carney and Nikko and Joe Suarez, thank you for making me look good and for being great friends. To Steve Fisher, APA, Sean Marks, and Robert Myman, thanks for the support. To Hope Innelli, my editor at HarperCollins, thank you for believing in me, helping me, and putting up with me during the writing process. You were an invaluable partner in this process. To Carrie Kania and Lisa Sharkey, thank you for seeing the possibilities. I want to also thank all the hairdressers out there, who are striving to make our industry great, and all the supporters of my show for your continued enthusiasm and trust in me.
About the Author
TABATHA COFFEY was first introduced to America as a contestant on the Bravo reality show Shear Genius, where she quickly earned a reputation for her outspokenness. Voted the show’s Fan Favorite despite being ousted in the sixth episode, she was asked by Bravo in 2008 to star in her own reality series, Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, which combines Coffey’s hairdressing and business expertise with her edgy style as she saves salons in danger of closing. Coffey has also appeared on Make Me a Supermodel, The Tyra Banks Show (as a part of Banks’s “Glam Squad”), and The Biggest Loser (where, along with Tim Gunn, she provided makeovers to the show’s contestants).
Tabatha lives with her partner in Ridgewood, New Jersey, where she also works at her salon, Industrie Hair Gurus.
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Copyright
Chapter-opening photographs courtesy of Hama Sanders. Insert photographs courtesy of the author.
The names and identifying characteristics of some of the individuals featured throughout the book have been changed to protect their privacy.
IT’S NOT REALLY ABOUT THE HAIR. Copyright © 2011 by Tabatha Coffey. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
FIRST EDITION
EPub Edition © 2011 ISBN: 9780062078544
* * *
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Coffey, Tabatha, 1969-
It’s not really about the hair : the honest truth about life, love, and the business of beauty / Tabatha Coffey with Richard Buskin.— 1st ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-06-202310-0
1. Coffey, Tabatha, 1969– 2. Television personalities—United States—Biography. I. Buskin, Richard. II. Title.
PN1992.4.C645A3 2011
791.430'28092—dc22
[B]
2010043035
* * *
11 12 13 14 15 OV/QG 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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