“You sure about that?” Lexi asked.
Brenna laid the flour-coated vegetables out on the roasting pan and shook Lexi’s question off. She couldn’t believe anything else. Letting her thoughts wander that direction would only twist her head up in knots and make her want something unrealistic. Though the memory of her time with him wasn’t one she’d soon forget, if ever. Where most men made her scramble for distance, Ludan’s closeness had calmed her. Even when his arms had tightened around her to keep her on his lap, she hadn’t registered the slightest alarm.
Quiet settled over the room.
Brenna looked up and found all three women studying her with curious expressions.
“It’s nothing. You’re overreacting.” Brenna scooped up the pan and headed for the oven. “Orla, can you light the fire? I could use the matches, but you’re faster.”
Almost on autopilot, Orla spun, opened her palm to the arched stone oven, and cast a thin stream of fire to the waiting coals.
“Thank you.” Brenna propped the wide pan on the ledge and scooted it toward the back with the long-handled wooden peel.
Orla took the hint on the need for a topic change and hustled to the sink to wash her hands. “Galena, you haven’t said much about you and Reese. How’s the new cottage?”
“It’s perfect.” No one could have missed the dreamy wisp in her voice. “I think we spend as much time by the falls as we do inside. I couldn’t have asked for a better home.”
Brenna turned in time to catch Lexi waggling her eyebrows. “Yeah? How about the love life? Is that perfect, too?”
Galena dusted the cinnamon off her fingers, and her cheeks tinted a pretty pink. “Well, you won’t hear me complain, that’s for sure.” She peeked at Jagger, leaned into the island, and whispered, “Are all men that creative? I mean, it’s like he’s constantly coming up with…” She did the universal sign for and-so-on and straightened. “Well, surprising ideas.”
Lexi flat-out laughed, but it was Orla who answered around a polite snicker. “Only if they care, dear. Only if they care.”
Shifting into clean-up mode, the women tidied up their work space, but Brenna couldn’t quite shake their easy banter. How they were so comfortable talking about something that had caused her only pain.
“What’s it like?” Brenna froze the second the question slipped out. She hadn’t meant to say it. Had more thought it, only to have it rip past her lips with far too much volume.
Everyone paused, their confused gazes locked on hers.
“What’s what like?” Lexi asked.
Brenna swallowed, her mouth too dry to do the task much justice. She shook her head. “It’s nothing.”
“No, no, no.” Lexi hurried around to Brenna’s side of the island and cupped Brenna’s upper arm. “Tell us what you want to know.”
Brenna rubbed her thumbs and fingertips together, and the clumped flour spilled onto the bright tile countertop. God, what she’d give to have smooth hands and pretty nails like Lexi’s. Not the jagged tips and callused palms she’d earned slaving for Maxis. “I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be kissed. To be touched and not be afraid.”
For long seconds, no one moved. The silence pressed heavy around her, and if the weight on her neck was any indication, even Jagger stared from his corner perch.
Lexi moved first, pulling her into a tight, almost fierce hug, but not before Brenna spied the tear on her cheek. “If that bastard wasn’t already dead, I’d rip his guts out with my bare hands.” She held her long enough that Brenna’s arms wrapped around Lexi’s waist of their own accord.
Giving in to the embrace, Brenna closed her eyes and soaked up the moment. A second later, a soft, steady hand stroked the back of her head. Galena, given the light herbal scent that drifted in along with it.
It wasn’t until Lexi finally released her and stepped away that Orla moved in and gripped her with firm hands at each shoulder. “You listen to me, Brenna, and mark my words. These girls don’t need to tell you anything. Do you know why?”
Brenna shook her head, feeling more like a lost, innocent child than she’d felt in years.
Orla gripped her chin with delicate fingers and smiled. “Because you’ll have it for yourself someday. And when you do, it will be perfect. Enough to erase the harm of your past. It’ll be beautiful. Just like you.”
Chapter 5
A perfect princess room in a real-life castle. Brenna braced her elbows on the stone window ledge and leaned forward, sucking in a deep, soothing breath. At seven years old, this kind of view and the luxurious room behind her had been all she’d wanted. Her mother had done her best, draping pale pink tulle over her twin-size bed and painting the walls a pale lavender. Now she had the real thing. Rich tapestries depicting Eden’s fantastical landscapes, a luxurious bed with an elaborate headboard and thick posts carved out of ivory, and pale gray stone walls that glowed luminescent white.
Only she wasn’t a princess, and the price she’d paid to get here wasn’t nearly worth the outcome.
Outside her second-story window, stars twinkled against a deep blue backdrop, and silver swirls of surplus Eden energy sparked like the one falling star she’d seen back home. All that showed of the ocean were reflections of the crescent moon on the tossing waves below, but she could hear it. The swooshing push and pull, and the crash of waves on the sand and rock.
The Shantos clan would be gathering for dinner now. Gathering and learning what she’d already seen. And then what?
All the certainty and determination she’d muscled up beside the ocean this morning had vanished. Gobbled up and crushed between her plummet off the bluff and Eryx putting a guard on her. She couldn’t escape now even if she wanted to.
The Shantos family and their mates had been nothing but kind to her, and she’d wanted for nothing since the day she’d awakened here, but the idea that she was the one who’d determine the fate of all races? She didn’t want that responsibility. She wanted the small things that had been taken from her. Her parents. A chance to make her own way. To learn what she liked and disliked. To build a new dream. A new life.
Three sharp raps sounded on her door.
Not Lexi. Her knock was softer, and she seldom waited for Brenna to answer. This was a man’s knock, confident and strong enough to reverberate through the thick wood.
It came again.
“Brenna?”
Eryx. Or Ramsay. She’d learned to tell them apart on sight, but their voices were too similar to discern without a visual.
She hung her head, resting her forehead in her hands. Wishing him away wouldn’t do any good. After all, if wishes held any power, she’d have been home years ago, this whole realm less than a flash in her memory.
“Brenna?” Trinity’s voice sounded this time, just a second before the iron latch thunked and she peeked around the door’s edge. Her blonde hair glimmered in the candlelight, and the dark circles that had marked her eyes this morning were gone. Like the rest of her, her haircut was spunky and stylish—a long pixie cut Lexi had called it.
That was another thing she’d do if she ever made it home. Try out a new hairstyle, or maybe go shopping and see what fashion appealed to her.
Trinity pushed the door a little wider, revealing Ramsay behind her, backlit in the hallway torchlight. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” Her stomach lurched on the empty answer. God, she was tired of that expression. She wasn’t fine. So why the heck did she keep saying it? She smiled as best she could at Trinity. “You look like you finally got some sleep.”
“I did.” A blush stole across her cheeks, and a big grin spread ear to ear.
Guess she’d gotten more than sleep while they were holed away in Ramsay’s room. Though how the women found sex enjoyable was beyond her.
Ramsay pulled Trinity against his chest, his large hands cupping her shoulders. “We thought we’d swing by and walk to dinner with you.”
“I’m not going.” She turned back to the window
and inhaled deeply on a strong gust of air. A hint of woodsmoke from Orla’s oven blended with the ocean’s brine.
Ramsay’s booted footsteps sounded behind her. “Why not?”
“Because all they’ll do is look at me funny and ask a bunch of questions I can’t answer.”
“You’re not giving them enough credit. They’ll be curious, yeah. But no one would try to talk you into something you’re uncomfortable with.”
“You think Eryx wouldn’t if it meant protecting his race?”
“Not if it meant forcing someone against their will, no.”
Trinity sidled closer and rested her hand on Brenna’s shoulder, turning her from the window. “I think if you gave them a chance, you’d see we’re in this together. They’ll support you, whatever that looks like. If it gets to be too much, we can leave. You and me together. But you being there, sharing your perspective, will be so much better than just relying on what Ramsay remembers.”
Like she’d want to remember it. Every time her mind flashed back to the human’s battered face and contorted body, Brenna’s stomach heaved. Experiencing the shame she’d felt at Maxis’s hands the first time was bad, but rehashing the gruesome image she’d seen was a hot poker to an already festering wound.
“Please,” Trinity whispered. “Give them a chance.”
They’d helped her. Healed her when she would have welcomed death. “Who’ll be there?”
“Eryx and Lexi,” Ramsay said. “Galena and Reese, Trinity and I. I’d like to include Graylin and Ian. They’re both smart and bring good perspectives to the table, but we don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable.”
A subtle tug registered beneath her sternum, an impulse she couldn’t quite identify. “What about Ludan?”
Ramsay shrugged. “He’s always with us for dinner, but he’d understand if we asked him not to. With what’s happened to you, he’d more than understand.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Ramsay glanced at Trinity and then back to Brenna and scratched his chin. Rather than speak right away, he eased into one of two Byzantine chairs covered in smooth lavender velvet near the window. He splayed his legs wide and rested his elbows on his knees. “No one talks about it much. The woman you saw in the vision? His mother died much the same way. Only it wasn’t six strangers, it was his uncle. Ludan found him still covering her dead body. No one knows much of what happened, but I think it’s safe to say his uncle didn’t live longer than a few seconds after Ludan found them.”
The room dimmed, and her vision went hazy. Her knees buckled so fast she staggered two steps before she found her balance. When her eyes came back into focus, Trinity stood to one side and Ramsay on the other. Each had a steadying hand on her arms and studied her with a mix of confusion and concern.
Trinity smoothed Brenna’s hair away from her face. Her cool fingers were a blessed relief to her clammy skin. “You okay?”
No. Not even close. No wonder Ludan had been so kind to her. So gentle and understanding. She could all too easily imagine what he’d endured finding his mother and the grief he would have carried after. Maybe it was their common past that guided her instincts. The unspoken bond that allowed her to trust him when most other men caused only terror.
“He should be there,” Brenna said. “They all should. Your family’s been good to me, and I want what’s best for you.” She fisted one hand, willing even a fraction of the bravery she’d felt by the bluff to wind its way to her lips. “I just don’t know if being a part of all this is what’s best for me.”
Ramsay nodded. “That’s fair enough. We’ll share what we know together tonight. After that, I’ll make sure everyone gives you space to figure out what you need.”
Even before Brenna started down the main castle staircase, the sweet cider scent of amber wine and herbs wrapped around her. Chatter, laughter, and the clink of plates and cutlery made the night sound like every other, but her heart hadn’t pounded this hard since the day she’d first awakened here.
As if sensing her need to flee, Trinity let her mate prowl ahead and laced her fingers with Brenna’s. They rounded the corner into the massive dining room a few steps later. Lexi, Galena, and Orla carried in platters laden with food, while the men milled in a loose circle to one side. Eryx’s voice wasn’t loud enough to piece together the conversation, but Graylin, Ian, and Reese all listened with relaxed intent.
Ludan was more like his father, Graylin, she’d realized. Same build. Same eyes. Same powerful presence. But unlike Ludan’s preference for warrior attire or jeans, Graylin always wore the loose pants, tank, and overrobe favored by the older, more traditional generations. Today was no different, the charcoal color of the silk he’d chosen accenting his shoulder length silver hair.
Ludan stood slightly behind Eryx. Dressed in leather and drast like Eryx, Reese, and Ramsay, his arms were crossed and his shoulders pushed back so his muscled torso was even more imposing.
Funny how his size hadn’t registered this morning. Only that he was warm and seemed content to let her rest against him as long as she needed.
Trinity tugged her hand enough to gain her attention. “Brenna?”
Brenna shook off her thoughts and hurried toward the table.
Across the table, Ludan’s dreamy blue gaze bored into hers, shrewd and focused with such intensity it burned clear to her toes. Her heart kicked in a painful rhythm, and her mouth ran too dry to swallow. The battered survivor inside her urged her to look away. To curl up into a ball so tight no one would notice her presence. But a new and curious, almost defiant, part of herself held his stare. How had she failed to really look at this man before? How unique and compelling his eyes were. And while his posture might have telegraphed a warning to those around them, she would swear his gaze sparked with concern. Or maybe it was camaraderie. Two souls wounded by the same tragedy, albeit in different ways.
“Okay, everyone. Grab a seat.” Lexi’s commandment snapped the rest of the room into focus. Eryx and Lexi took their place at either end of the table, while Galena, Ramsay, and their mates paired off on either side.
Orla gently guided Brenna to the chair beside hers. “Call me sentimental, but it’s been too long since I’ve had all my chicks around one table. It seems to me we’d do better to make this the norm instead of an exception.”
With Trinity comfortably situated, Ramsay eased into his seat. “You just had us all together at Lexi’s awakening party a few months ago.”
“And it’s even better now with their mates beside them.” Orla handed a heaping bowl of salad mixed with an oddly colored blue fruit Brenna had never seen before in the opposite direction. “All the more reason to make it a practice. Children should know a solid family unit.”
Ramsay winked at Trinity beside him. “Gee, no pressure there.”
“I don’t know.” Reese wrapped his arm around Galena’s shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss. “I think the idea of kids running all over the castle is a pretty good one.”
“You would.” Lexi scowled at Reese and snagged a fresh roll. “You’re not the one who has to waddle around with a baby growing inside you for nine months.”
“Twelve,” Galena blurted.
Lexi froze mid breaking her roll in half. “Twelve what?”
“Twelve months. Human fetuses develop more rapidly than Myrens do. Probably has something to do with the longevity of our race.”
Lexi’s gaze drifted down the table to Eryx. “Greeeat.”
The whole table chuckled, but it was Orla who offered comfort. “It’s not that bad. On the bright side, there’s very little chance of morning sickness, and we’re not too prone to stretch marks.”
Galena dipped her head in agreement right before she sampled the breaded viccus. “There is that.”
So easy and light. Their banter bounced between them as though the night’s agenda didn’t have the slightest chance of upending their very existence. By the time they’d worked their way through most of t
he meal, the tension in Brenna’s shoulders unwound enough she actually enjoyed the sumptuous food. She’d even dared a few glances down the table and caught Ludan’s gaze pinned on her. Its impact scrambled much of her worries, knocking what lay ahead aside in favor of the palpable buzz he set blazing beneath her skin.
Eryx edged his plate away and crossed his arms on the table. “All right, let’s get this done. Beyond what Brenna shared this morning, the only thing we know about Ramsay’s trip to Winrun is that Brenna needs our protection and support.” He nailed Brenna with an unflinching stare. “Usually, the best way forward is quick and factual, but seeing as you’re somehow tied in to what’s going on, I’m open to what works best for you.”
Just that fast, her anxiousness bubbled to full boil. Across the table, Ramsay studied her, eyes soft with compassion.
Eryx was right. Quick and factual was probably best, but there was no way she’d recount it without getting emotional. “It was Ramsay who experienced it. He should be the one to share.”
Ramsay held her stare and nodded. “All right.” He switched his focus to Eryx. “Though in fairness, you should know Brenna saw the whole thing, too. Probably through the mirroring she’s experienced.”
Eryx appraised Brenna for long, awkward seconds. If she gauged the furrow cutting across his brow correctly, he wasn’t too thrilled Brenna had kept information from him. “Go on.”
Ramsay exhaled and reclined against his seat back. “We were in Winrun, and Trinity was about to accept her gifts. Kazan was there, too, and wasn’t any more thrilled than I was about Trinity accepting her gifts to learn about the prophecy.” He paused long enough to cover her hand in her lap with his own and squeezed. “He made a deal with the White Queen. He pushed the memories into me and offered his life as forfeit.”
Ian cleared his throat and set his fork aside. “That’s a generous gift.”
“I shouldn’t have gone.” Trinity hung her head. “He was forced into it because of me.”
Eden's Deliverance (The Eden Series Book 4) Page 5
