His pulse thrummed wild and angry at his neck, and his lungs felt as though they’d been weighted down with wet cement. He was out of his mind. No somo had ever broken his vow. Not in the history of their race. And yet, he’d just superseded it with a vow to a woman he’d known all of a few months.
Listen to your spirit. Your Spiritu, or whatever that quiet voice inside belongs to. To deny it is to deny your soul.
His father’s words flared bright and powerful in his head, overriding all the superfluous noise. This was his chance to make up for failing his mother. A window of peace, however long it lasted.
The stinging silence and the weight of everyone’s stares pressed through his thoughts. He locked his gaze on Eryx, reclined in his chair with one elbow propped on the arm. “We need to talk.”
Eryx lifted his eyebrows as if to say, “And?”
No way. No way was he airing his plans with an audience. He’d cast enough shame on his family when word got out. “Alone.”
With no more than a subtle chin lift from Eryx, everyone headed for the door. On her way past, Lexi squeezed Eryx’s arm and cast Ludan a soft, almost sympathetic smile.
Graylin stood from the wingback in front of Eryx’s desk, his shoulders squared and a confident, proud look on his face. Halfway between Ludan and Eryx, he paused, looked back at Eryx, and opened his mouth as if to speak, but then closed it. Instead he clasped Ludan’s shoulder on the way out and dipped his head. “I’m proud of you, son. Whatever you’re up to, I trust you. You’ll always have my support.”
Ludan’s knees nearly buckled, stubbornness and shock the only things keeping his legs locked. Yeah, his dad had always been supportive, but he was a warrior, too. A man’s man. He’d just as soon spar and work his emotions out physically than try to put words around an issue. Direct praise and spoken confidence was nothing short of a blessing from the Creator.
But then his dad didn’t know the whole of what he was about to do. Praise the Great One, could he even do this?
The double doors thudded shut behind him. The quiet pressed thick and heavy around him.
Eryx leaned back farther in his chair, kicked his feet up on his desk, and folded his hands across his chest. “All right. You’ve got my attention, along with about four other people pacing outside those doors.”
A slow, painful squeeze surrounded his heart, and a chilled sweat set up shop between his shoulder blades. He wanted to breathe, to steady himself and balance his voice, but damned if he could get enough air. “I want to take Brenna to Evad.”
To his credit, Eryx didn’t move. Didn’t even flinch. “I’ve got to admit. I didn’t see that one coming.”
Yeah, he hadn’t either, and he still couldn’t believe it. “It’s what she wants. I think we owe it to her.”
“Yeah, well, she made an oath to me and the council otherwise.”
“She was afraid when she made the oath. Alone in a world where she’s an outsider. What else could she do with no way home? And now she’s a target for Serena. We owe her.”
“No, Maxis owes her.”
“Bullshit.” The need to pace or punch pummeled him from the inside out. “Someone from our race hurt her. That means we failed. She’s had zero choices since she was eight. She deserves to call her own shots for a while. And it’s safer there. Harder for Serena to find her.”
“I could reason it’s more dangerous. Only one of you to watch over her versus a whole guard.”
“Which makes her feel like a prisoner. You think she wants more of that? After the life she’s led?”
Eryx sighed, sat forward, and hung his head.
He’d seen too much of that fatigue on his friend lately. For as far back as Ludan could remember, Eryx had always been the reasonable one. Grounded and optimistic. Now here Ludan was adding more to Eryx’s plate.
But he still had to do it. With every word he’d spoken on Brenna’s behalf, the firmer his resolve had become. As if his life were picking up steam and clicking on all the right gears after years of operating on idle.
He stalked closer. “You want her help with the prophecy. I know that’s not your end goal, and I know you’d never push her, but think about the big picture. She’s known no freedom. No choice. Give it to her. Let her explore. Give her reality instead of dreams. In the end, when you need her, her head will be in a better place. More open and willing.”
Eryx huffed out a laugh and scratched the back of his head. “I think that’s the most I’ve heard you talk since that night we tried to outdrink each other on strasse.” He cocked his head to one side. “Not a bad argument either, but it still doesn’t get me out of hot water with the ellan.”
“You’re the malran. Your command trumps the ellan, and there’s no one on the council who can challenge you.”
Eryx just stared at him. Whether he was bored, mulling it over, or just not buying it, Ludan couldn’t tell.
Fine. He’d pull a full-court press. “If Lexi wanted something, you’d break every damned one of their rules.”
Fire sparked in Eryx’s eyes, and a cunning, almost pleased expression flashed across his face. “True.” He rubbed his chin and studied his boots. A second later, a low chuckle shook his chest. “I have to tell you, I’d enjoy this a whole lot more if it didn’t come at such a shit time.”
“Enjoy what?”
Eryx grinned. One of those triumphant, know-it-all smirks that rubbed Ludan ten different ways of wrong. “Watching you fall.”
Ludan might have masked his flinch outwardly, but his insides were a whole different story. “That’s not what this is.”
The bastard’s smile grew bigger, and for the first time in months Eryx looked like the easygoing, fair man he’d grown up with. “If you say so.”
“It’s a simple case of doing what’s right and what’s safest.”
Eryx leaned forward and planted his elbows on the desk. “My somo is breaking his vow for a human.”
“I’m doing what’s right for the prophecy. And it’s not forever. She’ll get settled, this will pass, and I’ll be back.”
Eryx lifted an eyebrow.
“You’re blowing this out of proportion.” Praise the Great One, didn’t he get it? “And I’d die for you whether I was your somo or not.”
“But if you had to save me or Brenna, who would you choose?”
An unguarded slug to his jaw couldn’t have thwacked him harder than that question. Fuck. Surely Eryx knew he could count on him. He’d always put him before anyone else.
But would you?
Eryx’s voice cut through his thoughts, lower now and loaded with wisdom. “There’s not a wrong answer to that question. More something for you to think on.” Pushing away from his desk, he stood and lumbered toward Ludan. “And if you’re wondering, I love you as much as I do my own brother, but I’d save Lexi before either of you.”
Holy histus, Eryx really thought he’d save Brenna over him. Though after that hiccup in his head, he couldn’t really blame him.
Holding out his hand for a warrior’s clasp, Eryx paused in front of Ludan. “Go with my blessing. Use Ian to track down what you can on her family. Keep her safe and stay in contact.”
For longer than he should have, Ludan stared at Eryx’s outstretched hand. Hell, staring was all he could do because his whole damned body felt as if it had been disconnected from reality. He’d actually done it. Upended his whole life on nothing more than instinct.
For a woman.
He grasped Eryx’s hand. Over a hundred years he’d stood by Eryx, and now his whole life was different.
“Now who’s the one who’s over thinking it?” Eryx clapped Ludan on the shoulder and released his hand. “You went with your gut. Don’t second-guess it now.”
That was the weird part. He wasn’t second-guessing it at all. More like anticipating the things he could show Brenna. The things he could teach her.
He felt more than heard Eryx stride toward the door, but he paused before he opened it. “And
Ludan?”
Ludan turned and blinked his eyes into focus.
Calm contentment filled Eryx’s expression. “While you’re there, what’s mine is yours. Make sure her time there is a good one.”
Chapter 10
Brenna hustled toward the far side of the castle gardens as fast as her legs would allow without breaking into a jog. If Ludan had any notion how difficult it was keeping up with his long strides, he didn’t show it. In fact, the only thing showing on his face was resolute determination. As if he had to complete the task in front of him before anyone could stop him, or worse, he changed his mind.
Her heart punched the same insane rhythm that had started the second he’d stomped into her room without knocking and announced it was time to go.
She was going home. And Ludan was the one taking her there.
He paused just beyond the farthest manicured flowerbed and peered over his shoulder to the castle’s front tower. The wind tossed his hair around his face, the dark strands accenting his pale blue eyes. The emotion emanating from behind them was one she’d never seen in him before. Not sadness, exactly. More like acceptance. If it weren’t for the T-shirt and jeans he’d changed into, she could have easily painted him as a knight from one of her bedtime stories.
Following his gaze, Brenna twisted.
A lone figure stood behind the waist-high wall.
Eryx.
A cold, foreboding shiver snaked down her spine. “Are you sure he’s okay with this?”
“The decision was mine. But yes, he supported it.” Ludan’s gaze slid to hers. “Are you ready?”
Goose bumps rippled up her arms, and her breath hitched in her throat. Ready was the understatement of the century. She nodded in lieu of an answer and wiped her palms on her hips.
He noted the awkward gesture, and his tension ebbed, leaving behind a crooked, barely there smile. “It’s just a portal. Nothing to be afraid of.”
Easy for him to say. He’d been through them countless times. Even preferred Evad where others favored Eden, if the stories she’d heard at the castle were true. She, on the other hand, had only been through once as a hysterical girl. Not exactly something on her list of positive experiences.
He lifted his hand, palm facing out. His fingers were loose, but spread as though ready to catch a ball, and his eyes narrowed.
The breeze stilled and the sounds of nature silenced. Several feet in front of them, the air shifted, swirling to a pearlescent gray mist. Bigger and bigger it grew, continuing until a cave-like circle stabilized with a tunnel formed inside. Foggy tendrils wavered from the edges, and beautiful sparkles glimmered in the setting Myren sun.
Ludan lowered his hand. “Time to go.”
Fifteen years she’d waited for this moment, and yet she was so pumped with adrenaline that moving seemed counterintuitive. Forcing herself forward, she placed her hand in his outstretched one. The second she made contact, her tension eased and his warmth rippled through her.
Guiding her forward, he stepped over the misty edge.
Brenna followed. Two steps in, the ground beneath her shifted like sand on an outgoing wave and she stumbled.
Ludan caught her around the waist. “Sorry. I forgot the feel of things takes getting used to.” He swept her into his arms, and her startled squeak echoed down the dark corridor. “We’ll do it this way your first time around.”
Her arm around his neck tightened, but her muscles didn’t seem interested in her mind’s command to relax. The portal wasn’t anything like she remembered. Even though the walls were a smoky gray, a soft, welcoming light pervaded the space, and the glittery sparkles she’d seen at the entrance winked as they walked past. “Where are we going?”
“Dallas. You said you were born in Allen. Dallas isn’t far from there, and Eryx has a place downtown we can use.”
Memories from her youth flickered. Big buildings and highways packed with so many cars it took forever to get home. “I think I remember it. Mom and Dad took me to a huge mall around Christmastime. We went ice skating and then shopping.”
“Sounds nice.”
It had been, even when her parents had argued on the way home. Something about backseat driving. She hadn’t paid much attention to their light bickering. Her feet had hurt too bad from all the walking, and the darkness that had enveloped her had been a welcome respite from the mall’s chaotic sounds. The whir of tires against the pavement and the soft motion of the car had lulled her to sleep in almost no time. The next thing she knew her dad was tucking her into her bed.
She gave in to the memory and rested her temple on Ludan’s chest, letting loose an easy sigh. “I like that memory. There was a Christmas tree. A big one in the middle of the ice rink.”
Quiet settled around them, even Ludan’s footsteps swallowed by the peaceful mist. The farther they walked, the more the air changed. “Why does it feel different?”
Ludan glanced at her. “Different how?”
“The air. It seems…” Nothing in her vocabulary felt right. “I don’t know, maybe damp? Empty?”
Surprised flickered across his features. “It’s the energy. There’s less of it in Evad. I guess you can sense it now because of Eryx’s healing. Most humans can’t.”
Low rumbles sounded all around them, a cross between thunder and what she’d imagine an earthquake sounded like. A flickering light appeared in the distance. “Are we there?”
“Almost.”
Beneath her shoulder, Ludan’s heartbeat thumped steady and powerful, far more stable than the erratic lurch of her own. Seconds passed. Or maybe it was minutes. All she could focus on was the growing light. The closer they drew, the more the rumble increased.
“What’s that noise?”
“The highway. I set the portal exit to a park near downtown, but there’s a major highway right beside it. The portal masks most of the sound, but once you’re outside of it, you’ll get the full force.”
This was the muffled version? The end of the tunnel lay only twenty or thirty feet ahead, and the droning noise was already enough to make her jumpy. “Wait. There’s a park near a highway? That doesn’t make sense.”
Ludan chuckled. “Yeah, you’ll see a lot of things that don’t make sense. Entertaining for sure.”
A haze covered the portal’s edge, but she could still make out a deepening blue sky, twinkling lights, and tall, box-like structures.
Pausing at the exit, Ludan closed his eyes.
“What are you doing?”
He kept his eyes closed, but one corner of his mouth twitched in an almost-smile. “Checking the surroundings. I need to gauge who’s close by and keep us and the portal masked. Don’t want to step out in the middle of something awkward.”
Well, that made sense. It also proved how she’d have bungled this in a jillion different ways if she’d somehow managed to build a portal of her own.
Pulling in a deep breath, he opened his eyes and stepped over the portal’s edge.
The rumble burst to a roar, and a high-pitched hum buzzed all around her. It wasn’t until she felt Ludan’s big hand stroking her spine that she realized she’d buried her face in the crook of his neck.
His deep, comforting voice sounded at her ear. “It’s just the highway. Look around. You’re safe.”
She peeked over his shoulder, and her breath left her on a shaky exhale. The sun had just set, leaving the skies a rich blue. Trees formed a perfect line through the simple green grass, and a wide sidewalk stretched behind them. Or maybe it wasn’t a sidewalk. More like a patio for the large covered structure with the all-weather picnic tables beneath it.
Ludan’s chest shook on a nearly silent chuckle, not that she could have heard him laugh with the noise behind them. “Want to try it on your feet now?”
God, how stupid could she be? He’d been carrying her for at least twenty minutes. “I’m sorry. Put me down. You must be tired.”
Even though she loosened her grip, ready to stand on her own two feet, he hel
d her right where she was and locked his gaze with hers. “You’re not a burden to me, Brenna. Not in weight or in time.”
“Oh.” Her heart did a weird twisty-twirl, and for a good second or two, the chaotic din around her dropped to background clutter. His hair ruffled against her knuckles where she cupped the back of his neck, and her fingers lifted to comb through the wavy strands on instinct. “Thank you.”
His eyes darkened, more like a morning sunrise than their normal high-noon blue, and his gaze dropped to her lips. Before she could make any more of his reaction, he eased her to her feet, steadying her with a hand on her arm.
“I’m okay.” Actually, okay was pushing it. Standing with all the adrenaline coursing through her limbs was more of a challenge than she cared to admit.
His hand slid down and clasped hers, never losing contact. “All the same, I’m here if you need me, but keep your hand in mine until I drop the mask.”
The mask. She spun to where they’d stepped out of the portal and nearly fumbled their point of contact when she found it gone. In its place were towering buildings, one with an exterior that looked like row after row of mirrors, and sparkling lights as far as her eyes could see. “Where’s the portal?”
“I let it close.” He tugged her hand. “Let’s move out of sight. After I drop the mask you can take your time looking around.”
Fifteen minutes and a casual stroll later, she paused beside a tall wrought-iron lamppost. Dozens like it lined the walkways. She stared up at the glowing light. “That’s the buzz.”
Ludan nodded. “Electricity. Do you remember it?”
She should have. When Maxis had first taken her to Eden, doing without lights had been the hardest hurdle to overcome. Yet somewhere along the way, the concept had evaporated from her memories. “I do now. It’s loud.” Unnatural, like all the other greenery around her. The park was beautiful, but it was so sculpted and rigid that it felt more like a picture than part of nature.
Ludan’s gaze locked on a small cluster of people gathered nearby. “You okay if we hold off on the rest of the tour until we get you some clothes to help you blend in?”
Eden's Deliverance (The Eden Series Book 4) Page 9
