“Oh, my God,” I said, bending over on the toilet. “I think I may start to hyperventilate.”
“Just calm down,” said Naomi. “You have to look on the bright side.”
“What’s the bright side? That I just ruined my career?”
“No!” she dismissed. “You may have gotten yourself knocked up by one of the richest men in the world…or his friend.”
“Oh, it’s sounds so tawdry and stupid,” I muttered. “Am I stupid?”
“Well, yeah, kinda,” said Naomi. “You got drunk and banged two guys. Not your brightest of moves.”
“The tabloids are going to go crazy!”
“Isn’t that what you wanted? Attention?”
“Yes! For being a sexy, independent woman! Not for being the dumb broad that got herself knocked up!”
“Just calm down. First you have to figure out which prince is your baby daddy. Maybe they’ll be cool with it. It’s not like they don’t have the money to take care of the kid.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for a kid, Naomi,” I said. “What am I supposed to do? How is this going to impact my life? My career? And am I going to screw the kid up trying to figure it out?”
“No one’s ever ready for a baby,” Naomi assured me. “I wasn’t and mine were planned. You just have to talk to the dad. Figure things out.”
“But these guys are princes! Real life princes! They’ll probably have me thrown into a dungeon or something!”
“Oh, stop being dramatic,” she dismissed. “Just put on your big girl pants and go talk to them. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“I guess I have no choice,” I sighed. “God! I can’t believe this is happening! How could I have been so stupid?!”
Chapter 2
Dominique
I was in my bedroom with my tie master, Errol and my personal man servant, Aaron. The tie selection was, as always, a difficult one. Style over price? Practicality over style? Color over price? Ah, the duties of the prince.
“Tie master, what do you recommend?” I asked.
“Sir, I’m just the salesman,” he explained. “They don’t call me a tie master.”
“Nonsense, you are the master of ties!” I laughed. “Aaron, do you believe this Tie Master? We should’ve brought one from Andalia.”
“Is he being serious?” the Tie Master asked Aaron.
“No,” said Aaron flatly. “The prince is bored and when he is bored he likes to imagine things.”
“Aaron! You’re ruining the game!” I said, trying to silence him. “The whole point of the game was to get him to admit he is a Tie Master.”
“I am a Tie Master?” said the Tie Master confused.
“No, now Aaron has ruined it. As always Aaron. You ruin my fun!”
“So…you don’t want a tie?” the Tie Master asked.
“Well, you did come all the way up here and it has been two hours… Very well, I shall take one.”
“That’s great, your Highness. Which one?”
“All of them, of course,” I said incredulous. “Especially the one you’re wearing. I like that!”
“Well, technically my tie isn’t---“
“I like that!” I said more intently.
The Tie Master immediately started taking off his tie. He was making a hefty profit from me. Why shouldn’t I have some fun? It was so boring in Los Angeles. Honestly, if they weren’t making movies here, I don’t know what these people would do. The Tie Master finished removing his tie and I immediately put it on.
“Thank you, Tie Master,” I said. “You are dismissed. Aaron will see that you are paid. Pay him Aaron.”
“Yes, your Highness. Right this way, Tie Master.”
“Ah, ha! Aaron! You said it! You lose the game!”
“Dammit,” muttered Aaron. “I suppose you win, Your Highness. I forgot myself. A thousand pardons.”
“Nonsense! You finally let me have some fun.”
They left the room and I adjusted my tie in the mirror. I smiled, but then realized I was bored again.
“Great,” I muttered. “Now what do I do with my day?”
I wasn’t much of a TV watcher. Don’t get me wrong, American television is quite amazing, but I had watched all I could. I had a television in the shower and in every room of the embassy. My IT fellow had rigged it so it would turn on TV’s to exactly what I was watching in the other room when I entered. It’s an efficient way to watch a show. Naturally, I was caught up on everything, even on Netflix.
Turning on my computer, I decided that the Internet would show me something different. I had meant to get my IT guy back in here to do the same thing with YouTube he did with my TV. Then I remembered, YouTube was a choice on my TV! In no time at all, I was watching Fail videos all over the embassy! Ah, ha! This was fun!
About ten minutes later, I was finished. Damn! Why is it so hard for the idle rich to entertain themselves? Is it no wonder my ancestors started wars over nothing? They were probably bored to tears in their castles.
Then, something unusual happened. Aaron came back into the room with a concerned look on his face. Finally! Something interesting!
“What is it, Aaron?” I asked with interest.
“There’s a Ms. Savannah Kelly to see you, Your Highness. She claims to have a personal message to deliver to you. I could not get it out of her. Shall I send her away?”
“No, you fool!” I snapped. ‘Savannah Kelly is a goddess and a fine actress. Show her to my bed chamber immediately!”
“As you wish,” bowed Aaron.
I rushed to my bed chamber and quickly checked myself in the mirror. I sprayed a bit of cologne, but not too much. Ooo, this would be a treat! Fucking a movie star in the middle of the day. This whole day has turned around!
I took a relaxed position on the bed and she entered.
“Ms. Kelly,” I greeted. “It’s been a while. Why don’t you come over here and relax?”
“Uh, slow down Dominique,” she said. “I have something to tell you.”
“I can do slow. I can slowly make love to you. I can slow lick your---“
“I’m pregnant,” she said, spoiling the mood.
It took a few seconds to register to my brain. The smile faded. Oh, shit. I stood from the bed.
“Oh, well. This is uh, rather, um…surprising,” I said. “You’re quite sure it’s…”
“Well, it’s either you or Byron,” she said.
“Byron? Oh, dear God. You haven’t told him yet, have you?” I asked.
“I was going to see him next. Is he here?”
“No, he’s in Napa Valley on a wine tasting tour,” I explained.
“Not a drinker?” she asked.
“Oh, well, yes, but I’m no longer allowed in several of the wineries,” I said embarrassed. “I am what you might call an over drinker sometimes.”
“I see.”
“Look, there’s no sense in telling Byron until the paternity test comes back,” I urged. “Please let’s keep this between us, hmm?”
“That doesn’t seem right,” she said, struggling with the consequences. “What if it’s his?”
“Then we will inform him together and so much the better that I’m there to comfort him.”
“Comfort him? You make it sound like he’s going to die.”
“I meant no disrespect,” I assured her. “In fact, I’m rather hoping the child is mine. My father would be very happy. He’s been pressuring me to get married and have an heir.”
“Yeah, well, just slow down,” she said. “I’m not really the marrying type.”
“What type are you then?” I asked.
“Apparently, the type of girl that goes to a party and gets knocked up by one of the hosts,” she said disappointed. “This isn’t exactly what I need for my career right now.”
“Nonsense, you’re glowing,” I complimented.
“Aw, thank you,” she smiled. “I’m playing an action hero in my next movie. I’m supposed to be in the mi
ddle of Martial Arts training.”
“Can’t they get a stunt woman or something?”
“Hopefully,” she sighed. “But studios can be cheap. They might just decide to fire me.”
“Seems extreme,” I commented. “Well, don’t you worry, our embassy has every amenity. Let me show you to your room.”
“Room? Oh, I can’t stay. I have things to do,” she insisted.
“Nonsense, you’ll be our guest,” I assured her. “It’s the least we can do until the paternity test is made. I’ll contact one of my personal physicians.”
“How many doctors do you have on staff?”
“Two,” I explained. “One is for guests and he’s also the back up doctor. In case the first one dies or something.”
“But I didn’t bring any clothes,” she said. “I wasn’t expecting to stay.”
“Oh, we can take care of that. Aaron!”
Aaron who had silently backed out of the room before, now returned as if he hadn’t heard anything.
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“Ms. Kelly will be staying with us,” I explained. “Please, show her to our finest guest room. Give her anything she wants.”
“Thanks, Dominique,” she said. “Hey, I’ll bet when you got up today you didn’t think you might be a dad, huh?”
“No, I didn’t not,” I laughed a bit nervous. “I was actually sitting here wishing for something interesting to have happen. Be careful what you wish for, eh? Before I was bored out of my mind, now my mind is reeling with possibilities.”
“Well, 50-50 it might not be yours,” she said. “Then you can go back to your incredibly boring rich life. How I pity you?”
“Was that sarcasm?”
“Yes.”
“Well played.”
Savannah followed Aaron out of the room. I went over to the window. A child would be a blessing, but without a wife? No, father wouldn’t like that at all. I had to woo this Savannah Kelly. Make her my wife and why not? She’d make an excellent princess. She has such beauty and grace! Of course, I hardly know her, but that’s something that can be rectified.
Going back to the computer, I looked up Savannah’s information online. There were quite a few racy photos of her from earlier movies. Father won’t like that! But, overall, there seems little to her personality that he would object to. Besides, how could he completely reject the woman carrying his grandchild?
All he would need to see is Savannah walking through Andalia. The people would cheer. I mean, they would normally cheer a woman presented as a princess, but also an American movie star? The peasants would lose their minds!
Yes, she would be a fitting princess if I could win her heart.
Chapter 3
Savannah
I couldn’t just have Aaron buy everything I needed. Some stuff was just too personal anyway. I called Naomi and told her to pack my bag and drop it off at the embassy. She was super busy and eventually had her assistant drop off the bag.
When you’re an actress, you’re used to moving onto movie sets. I had a bag for just such an outing. Actually, I had two ready to go. The extra one was in case that I came back from a shoot and had to go right back out the door. This is the bag that I had delivered.
It was simple, I could lay low here, get the paternity test and then see who the daddy is. No way these high and mighty European snobs would want to marry an “actress.” They think we’re all whores or at least that’s what I read once. I’m sure that whatever prince was the father would accept the child, but never me. Dominique probably wanted someone more princess-like.
Poking my head out of the bedroom door, I called for Aaron and then for Dominique, but they weren’t nearby. I decided to explore the place on my own. No big deal, right? Just an American wandering around this huge embassy complex. It’s not like I could hurt anything.
First off, understand that this building was big enough to have wings. Yes, that’s right, plural, wings. Since it used to be an old hotel, it already had tons of guest rooms. Every room was as opulently furnished as mine. Velvet curtains, silk sheets, hand carved antique furniture that had been sitting in some duke’s villa or some monarch’s estate for the last five hundred years until the princes bought it up. That’s how the princes rolled!
“Madame,” a voice suddenly said.
Startled, I turned around. It was Aaron.
“I’m sorry, did you require something?”
“Oh, not really,” I said embarrassed. “I just wanted to look around. Is that okay? I mean, you guys aren’t holding any state secrets here, right?”
Aaron seemed not to understand. He looked at me blankly.
“That was a joke.”
“Oh, very good Madame,” he said routinely. “I’d be happy to show you around. Andalia’s greatest artists contributed to the décor.”
“I don’t really know much about your country,” I said, feeling ignorant. “Is it very modern?”
“Mostly, Madame,” he explained. “The Royal Family doesn’t hold any political power anymore. Their titles are more symbolic, like the Royals in England. Still, as in England, the people are very fond of the Royal Family. It goes back many hundreds of years.”
“Does the same go for Byron? I mean, Prince Byron?” I asked.
“Crown Prince Byron,” he corrected. “And yes, Breynia is not dissimilar. We spent many years at war with his country over the centuries, but now we are great allies and friends. Their Highnesses are likewise great friends, Madame.”
“Well, that’s nice,” I said, pleasantly surprised. “Guess there are few people they can relate to.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “It is very lonely at the top and they are both at the top of their respective countries. They are the richest, the most famous and the most powerful--- Well, figuratively speaking.”
“Do you know where Dominique went?”
“I believe he’s working out, Madame,” explained Aaron. “Both the princes enjoy an extensive regime of exercise and nutrition. Much like professional athletes in your country.”
“Why are they so fit? I mean, it’s a health thing, I assume.”
“Being a prince leaves one with an extraordinary amount of free time, Madame. His ancestors sometimes used that time to do nothing but eat. But one only lives so long that way. So the princes decided that they would be as fit as possible. However, their boundless energy often leaves them restless. I guess there’s a price to be paid whether you’re fit or not.”
Aaron gave me a tour of the rest of the embassy. There were rooms for almost any situation. There were rooms to sign documents, to discuss important matters, there were lounges, smoking lounges, libraries, an indoor pool, kitchens, quarters, dressing rooms---It went on and on. I was kind of hoping he’d hand me a map so I could find my way back to my room. Fortunately, he walked me all the way back.
“Thanks for the tour, Aaron,” I said.
“Very good, Madame,” he bowed.
Back inside my room, the only thing that stood out from the endless opulence I had seen was my bag. Good luck finding this room again if I got lost!
Laying down on the bed, I thought of Byron. It seemed wrong to keep the baby from him. I had to call him, right? I mean, one little call couldn’t hurt, right?
I dialed him up. Byron, a little drunk, answered.
“Hey, who is this?” he asked.
“Hey, Byron, it’s Savannah Kelly,” I said. “Can I talk to you a minute?”
“Oh, my God, Savannah?” he said pleasantly. “I was just thinking about you. That is so weird.”
“Listen, I know its weird calling you up out of the blue like this,” I started. “But I really need to talk to you. I know you’re in Napa, but I’m at the embassy.”
“Actually,” he explained. “I’m coming back to L.A. tomorrow Napa was--- Well, I can’t go back to certain wineries now. Too good of a time, you understand.”
“I see…”
“I’ll be you’d like a repeat perform
ance of that night at the party,” he laughed. “God, that was fun. Wasn’t that fun? That was a lot of fun.”
“It was fun,” I agreed. “Almost, too much fun.”
“No such thing,” he laughed. “I want to see you.”
“So come see me,” I offered. “Dominique gave me a room for a few days in the embassy.”
“Ah, ha! You do want to sleep with us again! I knew it!”
Well, technically that wasn’t untrue. It was honestly the most erotic sexual experience I had ever had. Better than just one man, so I wasn’t lying when I said---
“I actually do. Come by soon, okay? Plus I have to tell you something, but that can wait.”
“Wait, what is it?”
“Ask me tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he said, hanging up abruptly.
I wasn’t sure I had done the right thing. Now Byron was going to rush back here thinking he was getting laid, but finding out he was maybe a dad. That was kind of a big let down for a guy, but why risk it? Byron was uber rich. He might freak out and bolt. What would I do if they both took off to Europe and never came back again? Could I even sue them for support? Sure, they were rich, but their families may not want us around at all. That would be depressing. Good enough to fuck, but not good enough for their families. I wonder how many hundreds of years that had been going on!
Aaron brought me some dinner. I asked about Dominique, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“Is this how princesses live?” I asked Aaron.
“It’s not my place to say, Madame,” he demurred.
My dinner included pheasant stuffed with some kind of stuffing made from bread and berries that I didn’t recognize. The side dish was little carrots and it included a small roll that looked like it had been backed just for me. It was delicious and was followed by a cheesecake that was absolutely divine. I was surprised Dominique wasn’t here wining and dining with me.
Guess we were done. He probably was freaking out over being a dad. Love ‘em and leave ‘em, that’s what princes do, right? I mean, you can’t have a bastard on the throne, I imagine.
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