Lauren nodded.
“Are you sure?” her grandmother asked with an expression that made Lauren think that her grandmother doubted her.
She wasn’t sure if her grandmother was teasing her or not. Grandma Helen loved to play teasing games. But Lauren couldn’t take the chance that her grandmother was serious. If she thought that she couldn’t keep a secret, she might not let her wear that lipstick. Lauren knew of only one way that she could convince her.
“I can keep a secret, Grandma. I’ve been keeping a secret for Daddy for a long, long time.”
Her grandmother gave her that teasing look again. “What kind of secret you been keeping for your daddy?”
Lauren bit her lip. She’d been dying to tell someone anyway; it was exploding inside. And if she told her grandmother, she’d get that secret out and she’d get to wear lipstick.
“Well,” she began with a whisper because she knew that when you told a secret you weren’t supposed to say it too loudly, “one night Daddy took me to this lady’s house. And they were kissing and they were—”
The smile disappeared from Grandma Helen’s face so fast, it seemed like someone had ripped it away. “I don’t wanna hear no more.”
She dumped the lipstick back in the drawer and slammed it shut.
“But Granny . . .”
Her grandmother put both of her hands on Lauren’s shoulders and made her stand squarely in front of her. “I don’t want to hear that secret.”
“I was only telling you so that you could see that I could keep a secret.”
Her grandmother shook her head sorrowfully.
“Are you mad at me?”
Lauren watched her grandmother’s face soften before she pulled Lauren into her chest. “Oh, no, pumpkin. I’m not mad at you. You’ve done good, baby. You’ve kept the secret.” She made Lauren stand back. “Now, I want you to keep that secret. You can’t tell nobody. I mean, nobody, okay?”
Lauren nodded.
“Now go on back to the living room and wait there for me,” she said.
Lauren didn’t budge, wanting to remind her grandmother about the lipstick.
But when her grandmother added, “Go on,” and then waved her hand, shooing Lauren away, she obeyed.
She left her grandmother’s room the same way she had come in, feeling like she’d done something wrong. But she didn’t know what.
Outside her grandmother’s bedroom, she paused. Not because she was spying, but because her grandmother began talking. At first Lauren thought Grandma Helen was talking to her, but with the way she mumbled, Lauren could tell she was talking to herself.
But she mumbled loud enough for Lauren to hear. “Don’t make no kind of sense, that man putting that little girl in that position.” Then she tsked.
Lauren wasn’t sure what her grandmother meant by that. Not that she cared. All she cared about was that now she wouldn’t get to wear that lipstick.
This was the husband she loved. Joyce sat at the table as Vernon did the bird across the dance floor. The ballroom at the Embassy Suites hotel was decorated with Christmas trees in each of the four corners, and red and green lights shone from the chandeliers. The room was merry for the Black Lawyers’ annual Christmas gala.
When he misstepped and bumped into the guy on his right, Vernon leaned his head back and released a Santa Claus laugh. Joyce laughed, too. She wondered why her husband couldn’t be this way all the time.
She was still chuckling as he danced his way over to the table. “Come on, baby,” he said flapping his arms like an eagle. “What, have you heard? It’s a brand-new dance and it’s called the bird.”
Joyce laughed. The way he was moving, he could have been a member of The Time.
He grabbed her hand, but just as they got to the dance floor, the music switched from Morris Day to that old-school Al Green. Vernon pulled her closer.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.” He leaned in her ear and crooned, “I’m so in love with you, whatever you want to do . . .”
Joyce melted into his embrace. She wished that she could stay in this moment forever.
They’d had a rough beginning to the year. One too many late nights, stories that didn’t add up, and a constant looming feeling that her husband was cheating, always cheating. All of that had made for a rocky marriage. But since July—since she found a birthday card from someone named Tammy—Vernon had been behaving like they were on their honeymoon. He was putting in as many overtime hours in their marriage as he was at the office; he was working hard to erase her concerns and let her know she was all he needed.
She took a good long while to believe it. Even longer to feel it. But here, in her husband’s arms, she felt like they were finally headed in the right direction.
When the music ended, her heart sank. She wanted to shout out to the deejay and tell him to play “Let’s Stay Together” again and again. She didn’t want to let her husband go.
But Vernon pulled back, entwined his fingers with hers, and asked, “You want something to drink?” as he led her from the dance floor.
“We both do,” Joyce’s sister-in-law, Velma, said, approaching them.
“Hey, when did you get here?” Joyce hugged her, then stepped back to appraise her red formfitting one-shoulder gown. She nodded her approval.
“We just walked in.” Velma embraced her brother, kissing Vernon on his cheek. “We’re late as usual, thanks to Carl,” she said, referring to her longtime boyfriend.
“I’ll be right back, babe,” Vernon said. He leaned in and kissed her passionately.
“Awww sookie, sookie now.” Velma tapped Joyce’s arm playfully as Vernon strutted away. “My brother’s got major game. I love black love.” She sighed.
Joyce watched Vernon’s backside as he walked off. “I love that man.” She kept her eyes on him until he disappeared in the crowd surrounding the bar.
“I know you do. I’m really glad you two are working things out.”
Joyce shifted uneasily, then walked Velma to their table. But as she led the way, her thoughts drifted back to that territory that she hated. Back to the women who’d invaded their marriage—by Vernon’s invitation. Every time he said the same thing: each one meant nothing.
Alicia had been only the beginning. She was followed by Lois, a woman who he claimed was a pro bono client, and finally, the birthday card from Tammy had sent Joyce rushing over to Velma to cry on her shoulder.
“I’m never going back to your brother,” Joyce had said to her sister-in-law.
Of course, once Vernon came begging and crying, that resolve lasted all of one day.
And those women—Alicia, Tammy, Lois—were just the ones she knew about. She wasn’t dumb enough to believe that these were the only ones.
As she introduced Velma to the other couples, she searched for Vernon out of habit. She saw him standing on the outskirts of the crowded bar. Her eyes narrowed as she watched a woman laugh, then place one hand over her cleavage and the other on Vernon’s arm.
But as if he knew she was watching, he brushed the woman off, taking a couple of steps away from her and shaking his head. That made Joyce smile. Maybe the last time had really been the last time. Just maybe Vernon was going to remain the faithful husband that he always promised to be.
“Hey, baby, here’s your drink,” he said, approaching her and handing her a red cup. “It’s just punch, but I have some Jack Daniel’s in the car. I can spike it if you’d like.” He flashed a wicked grin.
“Punch is fine,” she said. “The Jack Daniel’s, maybe later.” She rested her lips on the edge of the cup and looked up at her husband through her eyelashes.
“Where’s mine?” Velma asked, making Vernon shift his gaze from his wife to his sister.
“Oops, I forgot you.”
“Wow, so that’s how you treat your sister?”
“Sorry, but I’m so blinded by my beautiful wife.” He leaned over and kissed Joyce once again.
When they pulled apart
, Joyce was breathless, but not overpowered enough to keep the words she’d meant to say from escaping. “I saw that woman flirting with you. She wants you.”
“But I want you,” he replied without hesitation. “Only you.” He kissed her neck. “Now, let me go get my sister a drink so she can feel special since her man is over there telling lies to his friends.”
“Whatever,” Velma said, playfully pushing his shoulder as he walked off.
Velma smiled at her sister-in-law. Leaning over, she whispered so that no one else at the table could hear, “I’m so happy for you guys. You know I don’t cut for some of my brother’s ways. Our father was a dedicated family man, so I don’t know where he got this gallivanting from.”
“Well, hopefully, it’s over.” Joyce kept her voice just as soft.
“I have to give you your props, though, because you’ve taken more than most women. You’ve definitely taken more than I could.” She eyed Carl across the room, talking to his friends. “Because I already told Carl, if he pulled some of the stuff my brother pulled, we’re gonna be doing a remake of that Farrah Fawcett movie, The Burning Bed.”
Joyce chuckled, but her sister-in-law wasn’t playing. Everyone knew that, especially Carl. And Carl wasn’t crazy, so he remained faithful, at least as far as everyone knew.
Joyce propped her elbow on the table, then cupped her chin in her palm. Vernon was maneuvering his way through the thick crowd at the bar. Maybe that’s where she’d gone wrong. She’d never shown Vernon her crazy side. Maybe if she yelled and threw knives, Vernon would have never strayed—at least not more than once.
She sighed. Why was she spending all of her time thinking about this? She and Vernon were on the right track. She really believed that. She’d never have to worry about unleashing her crazy side. That was good for her and that was definitely good for Vernon.
Keeping secrets had its benefits. Lauren couldn’t help but smile as she sat down at the cafeteria table and twisted the glittering tennis bracelet around her wrist. She loved the way that it sparkled in the light.
Her father had given this to her this morning right before she left to catch the school bus. A Just Because gift. “Just because you’re so special,” he’d told her.
Because she was older, she knew that her father didn’t give her gifts all the time just because he thought she was special. He did think that about her. But she knew that the reason was more that she’d kept his secrets. And the older she got, the more she understood.
Besides her grandmother, Lauren had told no one her father’s secret over the past five years—she still had not said a word to Carly, her best friend. Or rather, make that her former best friend. They weren’t as close anymore because Carly didn’t like Lauren’s new friend, Tanya.
“You guys act like you share a special secret and it’s only for the two of you,” Carly had said just yesterday. She’d said it with an attitude, like she was sure that something was going on, but she couldn’t figure out what.
If only Carly knew. Lauren and Tanya did share a special secret. They were sisters. Well, not real sisters who came from the same mother and father. But they were sisters in a special secret kind of way. Because Tanya’s mother was Miss Tammy, Lauren’s father’s girlfriend.
It was actually Lauren who was responsible for her father meeting Miss Tammy. She and her dad were out eating pizza when she saw Tanya, who she knew attended her school. When Lauren had spoken to Tanya, Miss Tammy immediately began making googly eyes at her father, and before Lauren knew it, her father had given Lauren and Tanya money to go play at the arcade, while he and Miss Tammy sat and talked.
Tanya was already thirteen, which made her extra supercool to Lauren because she couldn’t wait to be a teenager. And after that day at the pizza parlor, Tanya had started talking to Lauren every day at school.
Hanging around Tanya was like having the sister that she always wanted. And Tanya told her what it was like to be a teenager. She used her pillow to show her how to kiss a boy, and she taught her how to paint her nails and style her hair in all the hippest styles. She even helped Lauren create a Slam Book, which was a notebook that Lauren passed around school for all her classmates to answer various questions. It had taken Lauren’s cool factor to a whole other level.
Lauren talked about her friend Tanya so much that her mother began to ask questions.
“Does she go to your school?”
Lauren wasn’t quite sure how she should handle that. Should she tell her mother the truth? Because if she did, what if her mother came to the school?
When Lauren said no, her mother asked, “Where did you meet her?”
“Just around.”
When Lauren didn’t have any more to say, her mother insisted on meeting Tanya. “Invite her to come over one of these weekends,” her mother said. “I want to know all of your friends. And I’d like to meet her mother, too.”
That request made Lauren’s stomach do flip-flops. But so far, every weekend, she had a different excuse as to why Tanya couldn’t come over.
Lauren snapped out of her thoughts when she spotted Tanya crossing the cafeteria.
“Tanya!” she called out and waved. When Tanya ignored her, Lauren frowned and yelled out again, a little louder this time. “Tanya!”
Tanya finally stopped. But when she glanced back at Lauren over her shoulder, she had a face full of attitude.
“What?” Tanya snapped.
Lauren lost her smile right away. What was going on? “Uh, I-I . . .” That response had caught her completely off guard.
“Cat got your tongue? You shouting my name all over the place.” Tanya marched over to where Lauren was sitting. “So what is it that you want?” Tanya’s hand went to her hip.
It had to be Lauren’s imagination. She and Tanya were practically BFFs, practically sisters. So, she tried a smile. “Um, I was just seeing if we were going to eat lunch together today.”
Tanya rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to eat with you.” She came almost right up on Lauren, making her cower. “Matter of fact,” Tanya hissed, “I don’t want to talk to you, so don’t you speak to me. I don’t even want you to look at me. And if you see me coming, you’d better turn around and walk the other way.”
Lauren shook her head. “Huh?” She did not understand at all. “Wh-what did I do?”
Lauren heard snickers around her, and she realized that other classmates were congregating around her, no doubt hoping to see a fight. Lauren’s heartbeat quickened. She’d never had a fight in her life and she didn’t want to start now. She didn’t want to be seen getting beat up, especially not by a girl who just a minute ago felt like her sister.
“My mama said I can’t be friends with you no more.”
“Why?” Lauren whined, and then she caught herself, getting her tone together. “What happened? Why would your mom say that?”
“Your daddy is a dog,” she said, loud enough for everyone around them to hear.
To Lauren, it felt like the whole cafeteria filled with laughter. “My d-daddy?”
“Yeah, yo’ daddy. He broke up with my mama last night. Had her crying and yelling at me and everything. She said he was cheating on her.”
Lauren’s mouth opened wide. What in the world was Tanya talking about? Miss Tammy knew that her father was married. She knew that he was cheating with her. So, how was she gonna be mad if he started seeing somebody else, too?
Inside, Lauren sighed. Daddy’s relationships were so complicated, but their friendship—that should be the same.
“B-but what does that have to do with us?” Lauren asked. “We’re . . .” She paused, not wanting to say how she’d begun to think about Tanya. “We’re friends.”
Tanya waved her off like she was crazy. “If you mess with my mama, you mess with me. You lucky I don’t kick your butt, so that you can go run and tell yo’ daddy that.”
More laughter erupted and Lauren felt heat rise beneath her cheeks. If she’d been thinking, she would have saved
face in front of their classmates and told Tanya that at least she had a daddy. Tanya didn’t even know who her father was.
But Lauren couldn’t form any words. She just stood in the middle of the cafeteria, in the middle of her laughing classmates, still in shock.
As if she were suddenly bored, Tanya turned to walk away. Lauren fought back tears. No way was she going to cry. But as she got up from the table and walked out of the cafeteria, she vowed that she would never let herself get close to a girl again. She’d never put herself in the position where a friend like Tanya could humiliate her.
Life wasn’t fair. Joyce had heard that from people all of her life. But usually when she’d heard one of her elders saying that expression, they were talking about life in general. They were wrong. It wasn’t life that was unfair, it was love.
She glanced down at the receipt in her hand and realized that she’d been clutching it so tight, her nails were digging into her palm. She released her grip and read the information on the paper for what had to be at least the tenth time:
October 3, 1993
Marriott Hotel. Durham, NC
That was just two weeks ago, when Vernon had told her that he was out of town on business for a legal conference. In fact, he’d been laid up in a hotel twenty minutes down the road.
Love wasn’t fair.
Everything had been going so well for the past few years. She’d been absolutely sure that his cheating days were behind them. For the last three years he was always in her sight, or at least he was someplace on her radar—at work, at a church meeting. Not to count all those times when he took Lauren out.
She’d been thrilled that he was spending so much time with their daughter, and so much time with her. Joyce thought they’d been building their marriage, making it stronger.
But she was wrong.
Vernon was a low-down, cheating liar. That’s who he was and who he would always be.
With tears in her eyes, Joyce laid the receipt on the nightstand and pushed aside the suit jacket inside which she’d found the evidence of his infidelity. She hadn’t been snooping. She was getting his clothes ready for the cleaners, cleaning out his pockets, and found the receipt. He’d tricked her into becoming complacent and he’d gotten sloppy.
The Perfect Mistress Page 3
