“A hotel, definitely. There’s a little boutique hotel just a couple of blocks from them where Char—where I’ve stayed before,” I amended quickly, and a stab of pain hit me in the gut at the very thought of my dead husband.
Not now. More important things to worry about.
With a shake of my head, I scooted toward the bedroom. “I’ll find the number and call. The kids don’t need me staying in that tiny apartment with them.”
Will stopped. “Hey?”
When I turned, the expression on his face—like a kid who thought he might be in trouble—puzzled me.
“Do you… do you want me to come with you?” he asked.
I gazed at him for a moment, wishing like anything I could say yes, yes, come with me. But that would be a mistake. I had to do this on my own, plus I couldn’t face any questions from the kids about why Liam’s manager was traveling with me. Instead, I teased. “You just want to see me turn into a granny.”
With a grin, he was beside me in four long strides. “A very sexy granny… a delectable, delicious… “The words got lost as his lips found mine.
Enticing as it was to stay in Will’s arms, to kiss him until our lips were too swollen to speak, I had to get going. After a few seconds, I pulled away. “Will, I’ve got to get busy.”
“Finding you a flight, right now.” He released me to display his phone, already on the airline’s website. “Got the number. I’m calling. Go shower.” A pat on my behind sent me down the hall.
“Try the old this is an emergency tactic. Maybe they’ll find a seat for me in first class,” I called over my shoulder.
* * * *
The queue at airport security was long, and Will insisted on staying with me while I waited and fidgeted. I’d only packed a small bag that I was carrying on, so we’d avoided the ticket counters altogether, thank God. The line there was even longer. He’d scored with the airline. I had a first-class seat on a non-stop flight that left at five-thirty and landed at SFO at about eight in the evening. He’d hustled me into a cab and I made my hotel reservations on the ride to O’Hare.
Dropping me at the Departures door wasn’t even an option for Will, even though I’d argued with him as he paid the driver. Secretly, I was glad. I wanted as much time with him as I could get, even if it meant we spent it standing in the airport security line.
“No BART at night, Julie,” he said, watching me dig my driver’s license out of my overstuffed wallet. The boarding pass I had clenched between my lips kept me from arguing, so he reiterated while he had the opportunity. “I mean it. Take a cab. With your roll-on, that computer bag, and your purse, you’ll be a damn target.”
“Ah ha.” I found the necessary ID and dropped the wallet back into my purse. “Oh, come on, I’ve ridden the BART plenty of times and besides—”
“Come on.” Will’s expression was full of worry. “Just take a cab, okay? Do it for me… and Kevin. He doesn’t need to be worrying about you. What made you decide to bring this thing with you?” He took the computer bag from me as I tried to get organized for the TSA. “This morning, you were begging me to toss it in the dumpster.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll get a taxi.” I bent down to untie my sneakers, steadying myself with a hand on his arm. “And I decided you were right. It is stupid to throw it out. It’s an expensive laptop. And I want to be able to send Ryan and Renee pictures of their new nephew.”
I hated being cagey with him, but I wasn’t going to go into how I intended to figure out who Charlie’s paramour was. He might’ve tried to talk me out of it.
A plan was already brewing in the back of my mind. I intended to figure out who the woman was, and I could use his laptop to do it. Now that the initial fury had settled down, I was curious—who the hell could be so enticing that he’d cheat on me, the woman he’d trained so well to adore and serve him?
“You’re almost up, Jules.” Will’s voice brought me back to the airport.
I accepted the leather computer tote, tucked my shoes under my arm, and adjusted my shoulder bag, then reached one arm around his neck and gave him a hug. “Thanks. Thanks so much. For everything.”
He pulled me close. He wasn’t going to let me get away with a simple hug—a goodbye I’d give to one of my sons.
“I’m here, okay? All you gotta do is call.” He gazed into my eyes, clearly trying hard to get a message across without making a declaration in front of the whole crowd.
When he touched his lips to my mouth, I melted. He increased the pressure, branding me with a kiss that would leave no doubt in anyone’s mind—particularly mine—what our relationship might be.
“No overthinking us, Slugger,” he whispered when he released me.
Weak in the knees, I simply stared at him. “Will… I… “
“No.” He touched one finger to the tip of my nose. “Travel safe. Let me know you got there.”
I swallowed hard and nodded before dragging the roll-on behind me as the line moved forward. At the metal detectors, I piled my belongings on the belt and glanced back one last time.
Will was still standing right where I’d left him. He shook his head and mouthed, “No overthinking.”
With a tremulous smile and a flutter of my fingers, I nodded, then blew him a kiss.
THIRTEEN
The moment was bound to come, and indeed it did as Kevin, Meg, and I sat in the room at the birthing center, admiring my new grandson. I’d managed to avoid any mention of Charlie since I’d arrived, but his name finally came up. And in a way that I would’ve called foul on except that my innocent son and his sweet wife had no idea that his father was a lying, cheating snake. Plus, they’d just become a real family—a fact that was beyond important to Kevin. It was all he’d wanted from the time he and Meg had said, “I do.”
When I dropped my bags in the corner of the birthing room, Meg was nearly ready to deliver. After a quick hug for Kevin, I hurried to the other side of the bed and helped coach her through the last minutes of labor. Witnessing my grandson come into the world was an exhilarating experience. With quite a thatch of dark hair and my blue eyes, he was, well, perfect—almost a duplicate of his father as a newborn.
Kevin and an exhausted Meg watched as I cuddled and rocked him, their expressions tender enough to bring tears to my eyes. “Okay,” I said, touching the baby’s tiny nose with my fingertip. “So what’s this little guy’s name?”
Rising from his seat on the bed next to Meg, my son came over to kneel by the rocking chair. “Meg and I agreed, Mom. We’re naming him after Dad.” Kevin’s eyes filled as he said the name I’d been avoiding. “Charles Edward Miles. the Second.”
My heart sank, and I dropped my gaze back to the baby, fearful that my disappointment might show. I knew they’d chosen the name to please me because Kevin believed it would make me happy to honor his dad. They didn’t know about Charlie’s deception or that he was anything but the perfect father and husband.
I took a deep breath that could have been interpreted in any way, even happiness. No way was I going to spoil this moment for them. Gulping, I cupped Kevin’s cheek. “That’s wonderful. What shall we call him?”
Kevin’s smile was worth the effort of concealing my own heartache. “We thought maybe Eddie. That way he’ll have his own name, even though we named him after Dad.” He leaned forward to press a quick kiss on my cheek. “What do you think?”
“I love it.” Gazing down at the sleeping infant, I touched my lips to his forehead, and the cotton cap they’d put on him after delivery tickled my nose. Biting my lip, I vowed silently that I wouldn’t allow this precious child to be a constant reminder of Charlie’s infidelity, even if he was his namesake.
Eddie.
I could work with that.
* * * *
Around midnight, when Meg and the baby were settled in the room at the birthing center, Kevin and I stopped for a beer and a sandwich at a pub near the hotel. Sitting in the dim bar, we faced each other across the booth, both too tir
ed to even attempt conversation. As I gazed at him, his resemblance to his father hit me full force. I hadn’t seen him since he’d flown by home on business right before Thanksgiving. Stubble shadowed his cheeks, his hair was awry, and his eyes were smudged with weariness but still shining. He was Charlie, but he was the impassioned, young Charlie who’d vowed eternal devotion to me, not that other guy—the one who’d made a mockery of my life.
“Whew.” He smiled at me wanly. “I’m completely jacked, but I’m too tired to show it.”
“I can imagine.” Reaching across the table, I took his hand. “I remember how exhausted we were when you were born.”
“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?”
“He’s gorgeous, Kev.” I gave his fingers a squeeze as the waiter set our beers in front of us. “To Eddie. Welcome to the world.” I raised my glass.
“Thanks for coming out, Mom.” Kevin swiped foam off his lip with his napkin. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Oh, I’m fairly sure he would have made his appearance whether I was here or not.” I took another sip of icy beer. “Once they decide they’re ready to come out, it’s pretty hard to stop them.”
“I wish Dad were here.”
“I know you do.” I gave him a small smile.
“He’d have been so into this, you know?” Kevin’s wistful expression nearly crushed my heart. “Remember how he broke out the expensive champagne when we told you guys we were trying to get pregnant?”
I nodded. Charlie would’ve been excited about becoming a grandfather. He’d talked about babies constantly after Kevin and Meg told us they were going to start a family. Odd that he’d even given it a moment’s thought, considering the double life he’d been leading. Blood pounded in my ears, so I took a long drink of beer and temporarily willed away the anger. I was going to have to deal with this. I couldn’t keep getting furious every time the man’s name was mentioned. That simply wasn’t going to work, particularly around my kids.
Our kids.
We drank in tired silence for a few minutes until our food arrived. Kevin dove into his cheeseburger with gusto, and I was surprised at how hungry I was. The chicken sandwich tasted delicious, and the pub made killer fries.
Kevin leaned back in the booth, crossing his arms over his chest. It was a Charlie posture—I’d seen it hundreds of times when he was preparing to say something he considered important. The resemblances between my dead husband and my older son seemed so much more evident at that moment. I mused on the reasons for this phenomenon as Kevin spoke.
“Mom, you look great.” He eyed me as I wolfed down the last of my fries. “Damn good, in fact. How are things going? I mean… really?”
“I am good, honey.” I dabbed at my lips with my napkin. “Really,” I added when he raised one brow. “I’m busy in Chicago, volunteering at a boutique that’s associated with a women’s shelter. I love the work, and it’s a great cause. I’m having fun, and it keeps my mind occupied. I’m swimming in the pool at the apartment building, and I’m getting stronger every day. I’m seeing the therapist once a week and she’s already halved my antidepressants,” I enumerated, determined to keep a smile on my face.
“I ran into Liam in Washington last month. I was there on business, and he was conducting the National Philharmonic at the music center at Strathmore.”
“Did you get to go? How was it?”
“Yeah, he left me a ticket at will-call.” Kevin popped a couple of fries into his mouth. “It was great, but afterward, we had a drink and talked about… well, about you.”
“Ah, so that’s why my ears were burning a few weeks ago.” A weak attempt at humor on my part, which Kevin ignored.
“He and Carrie think you’re better in Chicago—away from home. How long will you stay there do you think?”
I shrugged. “Right now, it’s one day at a time.”
“Well, Liam thinks you should stay as long as you want to.”
“I’ll see. I know I’d miss the lake in the summer.”
Where was the kid heading? I didn’t have to wait past his next words to find out.
“Mom, your house is so big. Maybe you should think about putting it on the market. I know real estate’s slow right now, but things always pick up around there in the spring. I hate the idea of you rattling around there all by yourself.” He said it fast, in one breath as he fidgeted with his fries and avoided my gaze.
If I’d been being perfectly honest with him at that moment, I would’ve told him I never wanted to go near Charlie Miles’s house again. The very thought made my blood boil. If I’d been standing in front of it, I could’ve happily set a match to the place. All the work I’d done to make it the perfect haven from his busy career, and how had it served me? He was out fucking other women.
Nice, Charlie. Real nice.
Inwardly, I seethed, suddenly remembering the little things I’d given in on when we built the place. I’d let him make the choices about paint and furniture. The giant leather sofa that I hated in the family room was his idea. Sky-fucking-blue paint everywhere in the kitchen, breakfast nook, and sun porch—again him. “We live on a lake,” he’d insisted. “Blue is a lake color.”
I’d wanted a red and yellow kitchen, something French and kitschy, and maybe soft sage green on the bead board walls in the sun porch. But we did it Charlie’s way. We always did it Charlie’s way.
At the time, I was glad to do it because it made him happy and that was all I ever wanted—for Charlie to be happy.
Only the master bedroom was me—soft English chintzes, painted furniture, and pale green walls—Charlie gave me that room to decorate as I pleased because he said it made him feel like he was sneaking into a boudoir whenever he came into it. I bought it, hook, line, and sinker.
Bastard. You still won, even when you made it seem like you were doing me a big favor.
“Mom?” Kevin’s foot brushed my leg under the table.
“What?”
“Are you even listening to me?” A frown furrowed his brow.
I nodded. “I was just thinking about what you were saying.”
“What was I saying?”
“You think I should sell the house. That it’s too big for me to live there alone.”
“Yes, but what else did I say?”
“Um…” He had me.
“Meg and I want you to move here.” He gave me the little coaxing smile he’d undoubtedly learned at my knee.
“Honey, I don’t know—”
“No, listen, okay? It makes perfect sense.” Elbows on the table, he leaned in to explain. “You can sell the house and use the money to buy an apartment near us. They’re not nearly as expensive as they used to be. Prices have come down in the Bay, too, you know. Then you’ll be close to us and to Eddie. Ryan and Renee aren’t settled yet and if you’re with us, maybe they’ll decide to come out here instead of moving back to Michigan. We can be together again.”
I could see how badly he wanted me to say yes, but it would never work. Maybe I was ready to sell Charlie’s dream house on the shore, but I had no desire to move to California.
“Kevin, slow down.” Reaching across the table, I covered his hand with mine. “I love you. You and Ryan and Renee are my heart. I miss you every day, but I can’t move out to California.”
“Mom—”
I stopped him with one raised finger. “This is your life. My life’s in Michigan. My friends are there. If I moved at all, it’d be to Carrie’s old apartment.”
I had no idea where that had come from, but it was brilliant. I’d love to live in Carrie’s apartment above the boathouse at Dixon’s Marina. Then another possibility occurred to me.
“Or maybe I’ll move to Chicago, but it’s too soon to even think about that.”
His chin dropped and I tilted my head to stare into his eyes. Disappointment turned them darker blue. “Can’t you at least consider it?”
“I don’t need to consider it.” I patted his hand. “But I’l
l be out here so often, you’ll be sick to death of me. I’ve got a new grandson to spoil and I intend to be a world-class spoiler.”
The look he gave me told me he didn’t intend to give up. “You should check Dad’s frequent flyer miles and see if they’re transferrable to you. I bet they would be.”
“Yeah, I’ll check into that.” Suddenly a huge yawn consumed me. “I’m tired. Are you ready to go?”
“Yep, I feel like I could sleep for a week.” He caught the waiter’s eye and air-scribbled, indicating he wanted our check. “Hey, have you seen Will Brody? Liam said he was in Chicago, setting up the summer tour. Glad there’s somebody there you kinda know.”
“I do see Will now and then. He lives in the same building.” No need to expand since I had no idea how Kevin would react to the news that his mother had slept with the man in question. Except for the shiver of sensation the memory inspired, I still hadn’t decided how I was reacting to it.
At first, my initial response to finding Charlie’s secret life was to do the same thing to him—find someone else and fuck his brains out. It was simply about revenge. In that moment of insanity, I believed sleeping with Will would somehow hurt Charlie. But revenge got lost almost from the second Will’s lips touched mine. And now, longing for Will was jumbled in my head with anger at Charlie. The two things had gotten connected in my brain—and in my heart—and I had to disconnect them before Will and I went any further.
If Will and I went any further.
But, at that moment, talking about him with my son wasn’t even an option.
I changed the subject. “Tell me about work. How’s it going?”
He took the bait, and as we waited for our check, he caught me up on his job and his business travels. I couldn’t help chuckling. The kid had no idea how much Eddie was going to change his life.
FOURTEEN
Exhaustion crept over me as I slid the key card into the mechanism on my hotel room door for the third time. I never could get those damn things to work on the first try. Finally, the light glowed green and I shouldered the door open, dropping my purse, jacket, and suitcase on the small sofa in the sitting area before flopping onto the bed. Blowing my bangs off my forehead with a long exhale, I stared at the ceiling.
Sex and the Widow Miles (The Women of Willow Bay) Page 9
