by Lily White
“We have a an hour before it gets dark. What do you want to do?” His soft green eyes searched my face and it was easy to believe he really cared about what I wanted. Most times, our activities were limited to the things he found exciting or interesting. Dark places and creative abuses, those were the things that interested him. I was the helpless witness or even sometimes, the helpless victim, to his activities and hobbies.
Looking around the house, I couldn’t think of much that would be fun within the walls, but I spotted a pool outside and wondered if there was a hot tub attached to it that would keep us warm despite the chilled outside air.
“We could go for a swim.”
A feral grin broke over across his lips and he winked. “Skinny dipping? Sounds fun.” Stepping towards me, he made a big production of trying to pull me into his arms, despite the fact that I sidestepped him to remain free to roam. “Come here, Beautiful.”
Gingerly, I stepped back, keeping him within my sight but outside of reaching distance. “I meant with bathing suits, Bobby.”
Pouting at the suggestion, he winked and said, “I don’t have a suit.”
I laughed at his ridiculous comment. “It’s your house. I believe you can find your bathing suit tucked away in your room somewhere.”
He shook his head while training his predatory eyes on me. “Afraid not.” A lascivious smile twisted his mouth and he lunged for me once again. I ducked behind a couch, barely missing his fingers on my waist. He growled in frustration and I took off in a playful run around the large space, keeping furniture and distance between us.
Breathless, I laughed out loud before saying, “Fine! I don’t want to go swimming! What else is there to do around this place?”
“Come here.” Standing in the center of the room, he stopped stalking me throughout the space.
I shook my head no, lowering my chin and peeking out at him from below my lashes. “No.”
Pointing to the floor in front of him, he lowered his voice to a thundering rumble and demanded, “Come here now, Beautiful.” Each word was hypnotizing in the formal and domineering manner in which it fell from his perfectly shaped lips. It was obvious he was raised in money and privilege, as was I until the moment my entire world was turned upside down.
“What did I say, Alex?” He grinned again, his brows angling between his eyes in his attempt to appear stern. “I’ll have to spank you if you don’t listen.”
I froze. What had once been light humor playing through my emotions was now a crippling refusal. He’d spanked me before and I wasn’t able to sit right for days afterwards. I knew that couples played with discipline and bondage. It was a trend that was hot with the other students in our schools, but I didn’t believe it was supposed to hurt as much as Bobby made it hurt.
Resigning myself to the knowledge that he would hurt me if I continued to refuse, I took one step in his direction, my hands clenching into fists and my shoulders slumping with each step that followed. By the time I was within reach, he struck out, grabbing me by the upper arm and turning me so that he could press his chest against my back and his lips against my ear.
“Alex? Are you okay? I’m here.”
Phantom Jeremy was in front of me, appearing out of thin air with his pen and pad at the ready.
“I’m scared,” I confessed, my voice shaking with the storm of horrifying emotions that was beginning to spread throughout my body.
Memory and reality blended together seamlessly in that moment. I was terrified by the illusion of Bobby’s house and the reality that when I was pulled from this, I would be thrust into another situation with an abusive and painful man.
“I’m scared, Doc.” He would assume it was only the memory that I feared, but in my heart, I knew I was talking about my entire life.
“I’m here. You need to calm down. Your vitals are all over the place and I don’t want to have to pull you out when we’re where we need to be. Nothing can hurt you. It’s all in your head. Remember that, okay?”
I nodded, took a deep breath and by the time my heart stopped beating against my ribs, he’d vanished again allowing time to pick up and resume.
“That’s a good girl, but I don’t like the fact that I had to tell you twice.” His grip tightened and I squeaked out a small protest. I felt him grow hard once again, felt the arousal in him for having caused me even a small bit of pain. Turning me around to face him, he gripped my cheeks between the fingers of his hand. “Follow me to my room and don’t argue.”
Why did I put up with this? Why was I staying with someone who scared me more than he turned me on? At first, it had been so easy and carefree with Bobby. When we’d started dating, he was the ultimate gentleman. Not even my overprotective brother could find something to dislike about Bobby. He came from a wealthy family, he had straight As in school, he was on the path to become something in life and he treated me like absolute gold.
Slowly, our relationship turned from carefree to chaotic. It started with his insistence to have sex. I was stupid and thought that because all the other girls were doing it, I should be doing it too. It didn’t take long for him to strip me of my virginity, and to be honest, things weren’t so bad the first several months that we were sexually active.
After my parents died, and after I recovered enough to leave the hospital and begin living my life, everything had changed.
Dain was never around to look after me and my aunt was so busy with her work that she believed I was a self-sufficient kid, one who’d already been raised and only needed the basics until I graduated. I couldn’t fault her; she’d never had kids. She wasn’t capable of understanding what a girl my age needed from a mother.
Bobby took advantage of my newfound freedom, demanding all the time I had outside of school. I rarely saw my friends, but still used them as an excuse to leave the house as often as possible.
Following obediently in his wake, I shuffled my feet on the bare wood floors of the halls, diligently keeping step with him as he led me to his room. For each step I took, trepidation grew inside me. I knew what he was going to do because he’d done it before. He didn’t care if I screamed or cried. In truth, he liked it.
Swinging the door open, he turned to let me walk through. His eyes were full of the discipline he would deliver to me and his pants were tented and pushed taut from his aroused cock. Biting my lip, I took a step forward even though every instinct in me told me to run out of the house and never look back.
But what would that mean for me at school?
In the eyes of the entire class, we were the enviable couple. If I broke things off, if I rejected Bobby and everything that surrounded him, I would be shunned by my friends, no longer part of the ‘in’ crowd, left flailing and unsheltered like the kids who, for their own reasons, failed to assimilate to their assigned role.
The door shut behind me with a quiet click. When I turned to look towards it, Bobby leaned casually up against the wood with a wry smile adorning his face. His expression shifted – heated – before he finally said, “You know what to do. Why are you looking at me for instruction?”
I hated this…hated the trend that was spreading through the school thanks to adolescent hormones and lack of self control. Every boy thought of themselves as somehow superior to the girls – sexually, at least. Kids had come into possession of stories, videos and other materials that discussed the Dominant and submissive lifestyle and it became the norm. The only problem was that most of the kids were too young to understand the difference between a sexual kink and outright abuse, and at the time, Bobby and I were two of them. He didn’t recognize the boundary between consensual and abusive and I didn’t know when to tell him no or when to walk away entirely.
“I don’t want to do this, Bobby. Not right now.” Stepping forward, I thought I saw a large shadow cross quickly outside one of his large picture windows. I turned to see if something or someone had passed by, but there was nothing there. Dismissing it as nothing more than my own reflection in the
glass, I didn’t turn back to Bobby in time to see him coming towards me.
His hand was around my throat, tightening down as his thumb reached up to push my chin and force my face to his. “Do it or else…” His pink tongue flicked out to lick along his lower lip and he smirked in such a way that the dimples in just one cheek indented the skin. His eyes glittered with the false sense of power he gained by treating me this way and, as usual, I submitted in an attempt to please him. I couldn’t help my love for him, but I was also too young to understand the difference between a loving relationship and a co-dependent one.
“Okay.” Smiling shyly, I reached up to start unbuttoning my shirt. His face angled down and he smiled as more of my skin was exposed. Releasing my face, he stepped back to lean against the door.
He motioned with his hand while saying, “You know how I like it.”
Putting distance between us, I gingerly stepped back, swinging my hips in a seductive circle while pulling the shirt off my arms. My grey pleated skirt was next to go, the rough material sliding down my legs to bunch at the floor.
In my peripheral vision, I saw another shadow move across the window. The sun had started to set and the light beaming in was harsh. The shadow had been more noticeable, causing the light to flash and drawing Bobby’s attention to that side of his room.
“What the hell was that?” He asked the question, but it was directed more towards himself than at me. Turning to look back in my direction, he quickly said, “Hold that thought.” He was out of the room and moving through the house before I had the chance to reply.
“Can you proceed? You’ve stopped talking.”
Jeremy was sitting on the side of the bed, his pen in place over his pad and his glasses settled securely over his eyes. He studied my face while waiting for my response and I attempted to cover my nakedness from him before sighing in realization that he couldn’t see what I saw.
“Nothing’s happening. He left the room.”
“Are you frightened right now? I’m trying to comprehend the change in your vitals.” There was no emotion in his voice. They were simply words spoken by a scientist who was learning about his subject.
“I’m not scared. I’m angry.” If I hadn’t been asked directly, I never would have been able to tell the difference between the emotions. However, now that I’d been forced to pay attention to what I was feeling, I was stunned by the hatred inside me towards Bobby.
“Is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time, Doc?”
He was quiet for a long moment. After giving the question some consideration, he finally answered, “That’s not my area of expertise, Alex. I can’t answer that question.”
He breathed out heavily before his eyebrow rose over his eye and he rubbed at his chin in thought. Looking up at me, he asked, “Were you angry when you first saw the shadow?”
“Yes. Why?”
He smiled. “No reason. Please continue.”
His voice drifted off as his image vanished, blown away by the air circulation in the room caused by the ceiling fan above my head. Time started again and I heard a chorus of male laughter burst out from the hall leading to the bedroom.
My skin prickled immediately, especially when I heard Bobby tell someone to shut up. He wasn’t alone and I prayed that whoever had shown up at the house would go away. Quickly grabbing my clothes from the floor, I used them to cover my body at the same time the door to the room opened.
“Hey babe. We have some company.”
“Who’s here?” I started slipping on my clothes, but Bobby crossed the space between us in two large steps and grabbed the clothes to keep me from putting them back on.
“Eric and Daniel decided to stop by. They’re waiting out in the living room, but I told them it would take a little while.” Wriggling his eyebrows, he pulled the clothes away from me. Attempting to jerk them back, I was pissed when he ripped them from my hands. “Now why do you have to be like that? You got me all excited and you need to do something about it.”
My eyes flicked to the doorway and I wondered if his friends were in the living room like he said or listening from behind the door.
“We can do this later, Bobby.”
“No…” His voice was stern. “…We can’t.”
“Bobby, I don’t want to have sex while your friends are standing out there!”
He placed his finger over my lips as he pressed his body against me. I melted against the heat despite the seething anger I was feeling. His body was perfect, smooth and strong in all the right places. I couldn’t help enjoying the feel of it against my skin.
“Who said we’re having sex?” Winking at me, he grinned, “A blow job will do just fine.”
Before I could protest, he reached up and pushed on my shoulders until I had no choice but to drop to my knees. The plush carpet was soft beneath them, but still the material scraped against my skin.
Slowly, he unbuttoned his pants, releasing his hard cock from behind the material, the tip resting against my closed lips.
We stared at each other for several seconds before I gave in and performed. It would be better than sex. If sucking him off meant I could get dressed before his stupid friends came in the room, it was worth it.
Flicking my tongue out to tease the head of his cock, I watched his eyes close and the corners of his lips curl up in anticipation of more.
Eventually I opened my mouth wider and allowed my lips to tease the sides of the head while swirling my tongue across and tasting the first bead of salty thick pre-cum. He breathed out, twisting his hands into my hair and thrusting his hips forward, not able to stand the slow pace I was setting.
“Hurry the fuck up, Alex.”
I don’t know why I was suddenly hurt by that statement. I should’ve wanted to hurry so that I could finish the job before his friends became curious or impatient. But his reminder that this was nothing more than a quick sexual act, that it meant nothing more to him than a way to get off, cut deeper than it should.
Opening wider, I took in as much of his length that I could, coughing and sputtering when he shoved himself farther inside, not caring that it choked me in the process. I attempted to relax, to keep from retching over him because my gag reflex had forced the food from my stomach.
He moaned, moving himself in and out of my mouth, his fingers tearing bits of hair from my scalp.
“Fuck.” He wasn’t able to contain himself and I was thankful that he was so quick to get off. My jaw hurt from opening so wide, so fast. When the taste of his release filled my mouth I swallowed it down only because I didn’t want it to choke me when I took a breath. He pulled out, smiling when he tucked himself into his pants. Turning towards the door, he already had it opened when he said, “Get dressed and come out here. Tonight, we’re having a party.”
I didn’t appreciate the arrogant way he’d said that, but it was instantly washed away by the relief I felt when he left the room. Breathing out a heavy sigh, I pulled my clothes over my body and sat down on the bed. I could hear Bobby and his friends laughing in the living room and I wondered if he was giving them the highlights of what I’d just done. It didn’t matter. I was sure that if the walls of the high school boy’s locker room could talk, I’d learn all sorts of stuff about my sexual life.
“Babe! Are you coming out here or what?”
Bobby yelled from the living room and I resigned to going out to see what the plans were for that night. I should have grabbed my stuff and left as soon as Bobby held up two full bottles of whiskey. “Look what the boys brought!”
“Great.” I muttered half-heartedly. Dropping my weight onto the couch, I looked up to see Bobby scowling down at me.
“Well, since you’re the guest of honor, I’ll pour you the first glass.” His words were like salt on open wounds. On their own, they would have been harmless; but added to the scars he’d already inflicted on me in the last hour, they burned in a way where I knew I’d have no relief.
Watching him cross
the room with a confident stride, I cringed when I realized he was pulling a large glass from the kitchen cabinet instead of the standard shot glass. Filling it to the rim, he crossed back to me and placed it on the coffee table. “Drink up.”
“I don’t want to. My stomach hurts. I should eat something first…”
“Stop being such a fucking priss, Alex, and drink the whiskey.” Cutting off my complaints, he crossed his arms over his chest and eyed Daniel and Eric for support. Soon, all three were antagonizing me to the point where I finally picked up the glass and took a sip just to shut them up.
The liquid burned as it poured down my throat. I choked as I swallowed and they laughed to see tears coming out of my eyes. After they were satisfied that I would drink the liquid fire they’d given me, all three moved into the kitchen to pour their own glasses.
Three tall glasses later and I could barely balance on my feet well enough to make it to the bathroom. I wasn’t sick, but my bladder screamed at me for relief.
When I stumbled back into the room, I was too inebriated to question the fact that the room was deathly quiet. As soon as I turned the last corner and the room opened up in front of me, I froze. My eyes widened with sluggish confusion and it took my head a moment to catch up and identify what exactly it was that I was seeing.
“I told you I had a present for you tonight.”
They stood in the center of the living room, each one completely naked. Their bodies were molded and toned to youthful perfection, but none of them were filled out as well as an older man would have been. Even still, each one, when I could get their image to stay still long enough for me to look at it, was beautiful.
After pulling my jaw off the floor, understanding hit me like a speeding bus. Shaking my head in silent objection, I went to take a cautious step back, but stumbled over my foot and hit hard against the wall. Forcing out a hesitant chuckle, I prayed they were playing when I asked, “What in the hell are you three doing?”
