Wow.
“So… you felt like just when we were there… when you were right at the finish line of proving you loved me… I threw a hurdle in your way.”
He nodded. “Exactly like that. An impossible hurdle. I mean… you know me, Charlie. Know I don’t give up easy. But… only a few months had passed after we lost the baby, you were still in recovery, so I was handling everything at the restaurant by myself, and then you dropped that on me, and baby…. I was just tired. So I took what seemed to be the path of least resistance. Physically, emotionally, mentally… I was just out of energy. I didn’t leave you at our apartment to go out looking for somebody to cheat on you with. I was looking for my dad, because I knew he would reinforce me. He got it, he would see where I was coming from.” Nixon stopped for a moment, then shrugged. “But I couldn’t find him. So I started drinking a little bit, and then a little more.”
He pulled me up, tipping my chin up so that I could meet his gaze. “Now… Charlie, I’m not about to sit here and insult you by telling the lie that I didn’t know what I was doing. I knew what I was doing when I went to that girl’s house. It was fucked up, I know that. But with that said, I need you to know that in my mind, you and I were broken up… I’d lost you. Not that it makes it okay. I should have been at home, fixing things with you, and instead I was out having a pity party for myself. I have no excuse for that, and I’m sorry. But I need you to know, baby, I would never, ever knowingly cheat on you. The only reason I went home with her, is because it was my understanding that you and I weren’t together anymore. I was hurt, and I was angry, and … whether or not it was right, that’s how I chose to deal with it. And when I gave you the ring that day you came back? It had nothing to do with trying to cover anything up, and everything to do with not wanting to lose you again since I was lucky enough to get you back. If I wanted to conceal it, it could have stayed concealed. I was in another city, I used protection… I could have kept it to myself. Maybe I should have kept it to myself. But once you accepted the ring, I accepted the responsibility of making sure our marriage didn’t end up like my mom and dad. I wanted to have a happy life with you, and I knew starting out with a secret wasn’t the way to make it happen. So… I owned up to what I did. And… you already know the rest.”
I gave him a little smile. “Yeah.”
I tried not to let it show on my face, but my head was swimming with emotions. Grief and sadness over his recollection of the loss of the baby. Annoyance, bitterness, and anger over the way he characterized our breakup. Was he really trying to blame me? But then… that indignation gave way to understanding. Just as when Eddie and Viv tried to break it down to me, I could see where my own actions directly related to his. Hearing it from his mouth, from his point of view, gave me the opportunity to see his side. Once I stopped trying to place all of the blame on him, and accepted some of my own… it gave way to forgiveness.
Not just of him, but of myself too. For too long, I’d been shoving Noah’s death behind a closed door, afraid that Nixon thought it was my fault, afraid that I was going to lose him too, when it turns out… he was worried about the same thing. It seemed like the loss of the baby, at the height of our happiness was just the beginning of the end. At a time when we should have been able to turn to each other for comfort, my inability to handle the heartache forced us away from each other. Everything else just hammered the wedge further.
“Hey,” Nix said, pulling me into his lap. “Tell me… do you think that we can move forward from here? I mean… I know a lot has happened, and time has passed, but… you’re the only person I really wanna be with.”
I smiled, then leaned forward to touch my forehead to his. “Same.”
Nixon’s mouth spread in a grin, and then he drew me into a kiss. A sweet, passionate, deep, “nice to meet you again”, clumsy kind of kiss, and it was perfect.
“Hey,” he said again, when we finally separated. “One more thing.”
Snuggling against his chest, I closed my eyes as he wrapped me in an embrace. “Yeah.”
“I know this is moving kinda fast, since we just got back together, but… do you think I could move in with you? A brotha kinda needs a place to stay.”
I lifted my head, and raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re kidding, right?” His eyes went wide, and despite my overwhelming desire to burst out laughing, I kept a straight face. “Nix… you’re kind of looking like a bum right now. Like… a real ass bum. No job, no home, and you’re asking to move in with me. Does that even sound right to you?”
Nixon dropped his head, poking out his bottom lip before he started making loud, exaggerated wailing noises that sounded more like a wounded animal than crying. I gave in to that urge to laugh as I turned his face back up to mine.
“Boy, stop that,” I teased, giggling as he pulled me so that I was straddling his lap. “You can stay, but you’ve gotta earn your keep.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “Oh really? How’s that?”
I grinned, then slowly ground my hips against his.
“I’ve got a few things in mind.”
sixteen.
charlie.
“So… does this make us like… groupies or something?”
Simone leaned back on the short, portable bleachers, stabbing her slushie with a spoon to get to the bottom. Summer was pretty much over, and it was almost a little too cool for the frozen treats, but I stabbed at mine too, then scooped a spoonful of the flavored ice into my mouth as I glanced across the blacktop toward the guys.
Across the park, the teenagers were doing whatever teenagers these days do when they get together. Behind us, the older kids engaged in a game of tag, and the younger ones played on the swings and playhouse. In front of us, the babies, including Roman and Simone’s son RJ, and Zahra, his six-year-old daughter with Leah, played together on a blanket in the grass, and a little further out, shirtless, sweaty basketball was happening.
That’s where my attention was, along with a good majority of the other women.
It was kind of an idyllic scene. Flawless end of summer weather to accompany the yearly community festival, the whole neighborhood out having fun, and good music filling the air, courtesy of Grown Folk’s Music. It was perfect.
Except for that whole “business burned to the ground” thing.
I took a deep breath, then shoved another spoonful of fruity slush in my mouth. Not even a week had passed yet since the night of the fire, and it still felt surreal. The fire department hadn’t finished their investigation, so the source of the fire remained a mystery. The insurance company wouldn’t move until a cause was determined, so we couldn’t start any type of clean-up effort either. It sucked, but… it wasn’t all bad. All of that would eventually come together and be fine, and I was glad for that… but I was even more glad to have Nixon.
Behind me, Viv told Simone that she couldn’t be a groupie, since she was actually married to the man she was lusting after. I grinned when she said that she and I were the groupies, since we’d locked neither Carter nor Nixon down. I was glad to hear her change in attitude from a few weeks ago, when she was ready to make the same mistake I had. She still didn’t have a ring on her finger, but she seemed content, so obviously Carter had done a good job of easing her fears.
Leah was on a hosting break from the Grown Folk’s Music table, and was sitting with us enjoying her own slush. I lifted an eyebrow when Simone and Viv started giggling in admiration over Grant, trying to pull her in with them.
“See, y’all are gonna get me in trouble, looking at that man. I’m about to take my butt back over to the radio table,” she said, laughing.
Simone sucked her teeth. “Girl, please. You’re married, not blind.”
“This is true,” Viv chimed in. Even without seeing her, I could hear the smile in her voice. “There is nothing wrong with simple admiration. I love Carter with everything I have, and would never disrespect him. But… Grant is… a work of art. Leah, you cannot tell me you do not see it.”
I chuckled. “Oh, she sees it.” When I glanced back at Leah, she was blushing, and seemed to be trying hard not to break into a grin. After a few more moments of ribbing, she finally shook her head.
“Okay, okay.” She held up the hand that wasn’t holding her slush. “So… maybe I do see it. I mean… he does have that pretty honey-brown skin… and that body.”
“Mmhmm.”, was Simone, Viv’s and my collective response.
With a little sigh, Leah continued. “And those deep, emotional green eyes, like he’s staring right into your soul.”
“Mmhmm.”
“And that face, right? With that sculpted jawline, and that perfect nose, I mean, it’s too masculine to call him beautiful, but my God! Right?”
“Mmhmm.”
“And with him all sweaty, and he’s been playing all this time and doesn’t even look tired! Can you imagine the stamina the man must have? And…. Okay, I’m thinking about this a little too hard, aren’t I?”
“Mmhmm.”
All four of us burst into a laugh, which quickly dissipated when we looked up to see that the men had finished their game of 3-on-3. They weren’t really looking at us as they approached where we were sitting, but we were certainly looking at them. Roman, Eddie, Nixon, Vaughn, Grant, and Carter.
“Fine as hell in six different shades of brown. Sexy ass black man color spectrum,” I muttered under my breath, and behind me, the other three ladies gave an affirmative Mmhmm.
Leah greeted everyone with a quick wave, then split, giving an excuse that she needed to get back to the radio table. Vaughn — her co-host— followed her. Simone and Viv both went to their men, but I stayed where I was. Nixon and Grant were talking, and I caught enough to know it was fire related, so I looked up at Eddie with a smile.
He stared at me for a second then shook his head before breaking into a grin as he sat down beside me. “So I see you’ve been fucking.”
I brought my hand to my chest and drew back, pretending to be scandalized. “I can’t believe you would say such a thing.”
“Yeah, right.” Eddie bumped my shoulder with his. “You look happy. Glowing and shit. That’s how I can tell Nixon has been dicking you down now that you’re what… roommates?”
Batting my eyelashes, I ate another spoonful of my slush, then said, “A lady never tells.”
“Oh good, that means your ass can tell.”
“You right,” I said, joining him as he laughed. “But… no, in all seriousness… yeah. I’m really, really happy. Thank you for being real with me the other day.”
“I’m real every day.” Eddie kissed my forehead, then stood, shaking hands with the rest of the guys before he said his goodbyes and left. I walked over to watch the babies play while Nixon finished up with Grant. The sight and sound of babies always set off a bit of an ache in my head and heart, but not really in a sad way, more like… a dull longing.
I’d only been there a few moments before I felt strong arms around me, drawing me back. I squealed, wiggling and squirming to get away as Nixon pulled me against his sweaty chest, leaning over my shoulder to plant a kiss on my cheek.
“Eww, Nix! You’re all… gross!”
“You know you like it. You ain’t gotta pretend, baby,” he said, swatting me on the butt once he’d released me from his hold.
“We’re in front of the babies!” I wagged a finger at him to increase the weight of my scolding, since I really couldn’t deny the fact that sweaty Nixon kind of… okay definitely turned me on. He wasn’t smelly, just… wet, and hot, and friggin’ sexy.
Nixon sucked his teeth. “Man, these babies know what it is. How you think they got here? It wasn’t cause mommy and daddy were holding hands.”
“Nix,” I said, pressing my hands into him to push him back. I was trying to get him away from the kids, but instead of moving him, my fingers just slid in the slick ridges of his abs, and he stayed planted exactly where he was, without exerting any effort.
I yelped when he grabbed my waist again, dragging me against his chest and planting a juicy kiss on me. My first inclination was to push away, but when his tongue slipped into my mouth I gave that up, and leaned into the kiss.
“Get a room!” Roman teased, from somewhere beside us.
Nixon grinned when he pulled away, and a moment later, he’d picked me up and draped me over his shoulder. “That’s sounds like a good plan, Rome. We’ll catch y’all later.”
I was glad I’d chosen to wear a bit longer dress than I’d originally planned, because my ass was in the air for the minute or so it took us to get across the street to our building, where he finally put me down. He spent the walk up to the apartment teasing and flirting, reminding me of what it was like between us before. It made me feel kinda silly for allowing five years of us being apart.
“You had a good time?” he asked, waiting for me to unlock the door.
I nodded. “Some much needed fun to balance out the investigations, and insurance claims, and all of that.”
“Glad you enjoyed yourself baby.”
In the apartment, he went straight to the kitchen, washing his hands before he pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. Looking over my shoulder, I shot him a scowl as I tossed my keys into the bowl on the counter. “I was enjoying myself, until you decided to come and spread your funk all over me.”
Nixon stopped, holding the water bottle in mid-air as a sly smirk appeared on his face. “Charlie… baby… come on, now.”
“Come on now what?” I quipped back, propping my hands on my hips.
“Acting like you wouldn’t be down for a little bit of sweaty one-on-one.”
He approached me slowly, a light sheen of sweat still beaded on his skin as he stepped in front of me. The heat in his gaze made warmth blossom between my legs as he placed his hands at my hips, drawing me close.
I bit my lip, playing coy as he lowered his mouth to my neck, sucking and biting until my knees felt weak. “Nixon, for real. Go get in the shower.”
“This first.”
His hands went up my dress, and I whimpered.
“This isn’t sexy, boy.”
“Then why are you so wet?” he asked, pulling a gasp from my lips as his fingers slipped past the waistband of my panties, and inside of me. He stroked and teased, wearing a wicked grin as he eased me backwards, against the pantry door.
I moaned powerlessly, parting my legs for him as he pushed deeper, even while I searched my mind for a response. “I’m wet because… because I…”
“Because you… can’t… help it.”
He spoke those words right against my lips, punctuating each one with a kiss before he moved his mouth back to my neck. I draped my arms over his shoulders, nails in his back as he continued to stroke. A moment later, he stopped, and I was about to protest but then my panties were pushed to the side, and he was inside me. Any little complaint died on my lips.
He drove into me with confidence, hooking my leg over his arm as he stroked, faster, deeper, harder until I couldn’t stand on my own anymore. He picked me up, positioning me at the edge of the counter so he could enter me again. I wrapped my legs around his waist, rocking my hips against his, meeting him stroke for stroke.
“I should probably stop, right?” he breathed into my ear as I pulled him close, my arms tight around his neck so he couldn’t pull back.
“What? You better not.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I mean… I’m all sweaty and shit… should probably take a shower so I don’t gross you out.” He stopped moving, then attempted to move away, but I dug my nails into his shoulders.
“Nixon, I will kill you.”
He laughed louder, then slowly pushed into me again, burying himself as far as my body would allow. “Oh, you must be close if you’re threatening my life.” He kissed me, then drew my bottom lip between his teeth, nipping, then gently sucking it before he pulled away. “But I’m so damn disgusting right now, baby.”
“Plea—Ah!”
; He slammed into me hard, easily pulling out of my embrace, letting me know he really hadn’t been trying that hard before. “Tell me you like it.”
“Mmm, I like it,” I moaned as he reached between us, teasing my clit as he stroked me again.
He shook his head, then plunged in again. “Not convincing. Tell me again.”
“I love it.”
He lifted an eyebrow, grinning in admiration as I shamelessly wound my hips against him. Grabbing the hem of my dress, which was already hiked around my waist, he snatched it over my head, tossing it onto the floor. He made quick work of my bra, but didn’t bother with my panties. They stayed twisted haphazardly to the side as he lowered his mouth to my breasts, licking and nipping and sucking until my nipples were hard enough to cut glass.
My legs started to shake, and a hot, pleasant buzz began to spread over my skin. I was almost, almost there… and he stopped again. He bit his lip, flashed those damned dimples as he looked me right in the eyes and said, “Sorry, baby. But, you said you love it.” He started a slow, easy stroke that felt good, but wasn’t giving me what I needed. “I’m not feeling like you love it, you know? I think I need to hear it again, honeybun.”
“Nixon Graham,” I said, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. “You are a horrible person for teasing me like this, but fine, I love your sweaty, fresh off the basketball court di— oh my God!”
I squeezed my eyes tight as he delved into me again, burrowing further, pounding harder, stroking faster, sending me rocketing toward release. We were both sweaty now, and he had one hand wrapped around my thigh, propping it up for deeper entry, while the other hand kept moving between my legs. I came with such intensity that I saw stars, and just barely felt Nixon still moving until he exploded as well.
Fall In Love Again (Serendipitous Love Book 3) Page 16
