Distant Dreams

by Jenny Lykins

  A dog barked in the distance, the sound carried in on the breeze that billowed the summer draperies. She tossed her thick, wavy curtain of hair over her shoulder again, and when it slipped back in her way, she muttered, gathered it in her hands, and stuffed it down the back of her dress.

  Who was this woman? Where had she really come from? He shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the doorframe. When she finished on that side, she rolled him to his back, scrambled off the bed, then picked up the cloth and started bathing him again.

  Alec jerked his hands from his pockets and shoved away from the door. He crossed the room in four strides, plucked another cloth from the nightstand, then shouldered Shaelyn out of the way.

  He ignored her one simple word.

  “Prude.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Shaelyn’s gritty eyes burned from lack of sleep. She’d dozed off and on in a chair fit for a torture chamber, but never for more than a few minutes before Samuel’s hacking cough woke her. Then she would go back to work gently pounding on his back.

  The fever had finally come down somewhat. Not from their efforts with bathing him, though. Shaelyn had gotten tired of Alec self-righteously refusing to allow her to touch more than Samuel’s head and shoulders, and in a fit of impatience she called for a bath of cool water to be drawn. Once Alec and Martin had gotten him submerged in the water, the high fever seemed to release its hold on him.

  Shaelyn reached over and felt his forehead. She pushed a lock of his wheat and platinum-colored hair back to rest her palm against the still warm skin. Even with his sickly pallor, the man was extremely easy to look at. While she studied the classic features with more than a little admiration, his eyes slowly came open to watch her.

  “Will I live?” His voice sounded weak and rusty from disuse, and his question was a serious one.

  She smiled and fussed with the covers. His accent surprised her. Was the entire North filled with Southerners?

  “I’m not a doctor,” she said as she tucked the sheet around his shoulders, “but you’re a heck of a lot better than you were when they brought you in here.”

  He studied her face with weary hazel eyes and reached for her hand. When he seemed satisfied with what he saw, he allowed his lids to close and his body relaxed into sleep.

  She worked throughout the day, taking a break only when Margaret came in to feed him. She’d tried to show the little maid how to work on Samuel’s back, but her attempts always ended up more like slaps than the cupping necessary to help. So Shaelyn continued to do it herself.

  In the late afternoon her head swam with fatigue and her eyes burned with lack of sleep. She crawled across the bed for the umpteenth time to roll him over and work on his other side. When she finished she sank back on her heels and looked at the fluffy white pillow next to him, so soft, so inviting. Without really thinking about it she pulled the pillow to her and lowered her head until she sank into the soft, fluffy down. Pure heaven. She hugged the bottom half to her chest, curled into a little ball, and relaxed into the deep, dreamless sleep of the exhausted.

  She never knew when Alec stepped into the room to check on her, didn’t see the fire of jealousy light his eyes. She never felt him scoop her into his arms and carry her to her own bed, or lay her gently on the counterpane and cover her with a light quilt. And she didn’t feel his fingers as they smoothed a strand of hair from her cheek, even when they lingered seconds longer than need be. And she didn’t see him when he walked from the room with his shoulders slumped.

  *******

  She waited until Alec was alone in the library and Margaret was taking care of Samuel before she slipped through the library doors and closed them with a click behind her. She couldn’t go on with this tension between them, and the only way she knew how to deal with it was to face it head on.

  “Put the tray on the table, Martin. Thank you.” His voice sounded as weary as she felt.

  “I’m not Martin.”

  He raised his head from his paperwork and just looked at her until she squirmed.

  “Do I have you to thank for getting me into my bed?”

  He looked away and scratched the back of his head before answering. “You were asleep on his bed. It wasn’t proper.”

  “And we wouldn’t want to do anything that wasn’t proper,” she agreed. Like tricking someone into marrying you, she wanted to add.

  He simply looked at her, as if he expected her to go on.

  “Alec,” she walked to his desk and sank into the chair opposite him, “I know you don’t believe my story. I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t either if I was in your place. And I’m not asking you to believe me now. But you offered to be my friend once, and now I’m asking you to be. I’ve done nothing wrong, except be in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Literally.

  He continued to stare at her, but his eyes flickered away for a moment.

  “I’m not crazy,” she went on. “You don’t have to believe me, but until the jeweler gets back or the marriage is annulled, at least be my friend.”

  The sound of a carriage rolling up the drive drifted through the open window as his face softened and an apology entered his eyes.

  “Friends?” she asked hesitantly as she held out her hand.

  He looked her in the eyes, then his lips curved in a reluctant grin.

  “Friends,” he agreed as he curled his fingers around hers. The very warmth of his hand raced up her arm and spread through her body, drugging her with his touch, making her dream of impossible lives with fairytale endings.

  They sat there, connected by more than just their hands, their smiles of friendship turning to something deeper.

  “Alec Christopher!” William Hawthorne’s dictator voice boomed even through the thick closed doors of the library. The doors flew open and he stood there, framed by them, as he took in the picture of his son holding Shaelyn’s hand across the desk.

  Martin advanced around him to announce blandly, “Your father, sir.”

  Shaelyn released Alec’s hand and turned in her seat to see what doom Der Fuerher brought with him today.

  “Alec, my boy.” He ignored Shaelyn’s presence completely. “Look who I have brought.”

  He turned and held out his hand. An absolutely stunning angel of a woman stepped through the door. Blond, gorgeous, ethereal, Shaelyn wouldn’t have been surprised if a halo had wreathed her head. A light of anticipation lit her eyes when she smiled a brilliant smile at Alec.

  Please let this be a cousin.

  “Faith,” Alec rasped, then glanced at Shaelyn and back to the blond angel. He rose from his seat and moved around the desk like a man in a trance. Shaelyn watched, wondering who in the world this woman was.

  “Alec, you look wonderful. You’ve only gotten more handsome.” She glided to him, took both his hand in hers and pressed a chaste kiss against his cheek.

  “And you are more beautiful, if that is possible.”

  He stood there, holding her hands and dragging his gaze up and down her body. She wore an exquisitely tailored traveling suit, her hair twined to perfection beneath a frilly scooped bonnet.

  Shaelyn watched, feeling like a frumpy schoolmarm in her rather plain yellow dress and hair hanging loose down her back.

  The room fell silent while Alec and the woman stared at each other, then the woman turned to Shaelyn with a smile.

  Alec snapped out of his worshipful trance and turned his attention to Shaelyn.

  “Forgive me. Faith, may I introduce Shaelyn Sumner.” He didn’t even stumble over leaving out the Hawthorne, she noticed. “Shaelyn, this is Faith Almany.”

  “Alec’s betrothed,” William added with a smirk.

  Shaelyn had stood, but now her hand stopped in mid air. Her gaze shot to Alec while William’s words screamed in her mind. Betrothed. Betrothed. Alec had the decency to look uncomfortable, but he could have fallen on his knees and begged forgiveness right then and she wouldn’t have felt less betrayed.

  She
forced herself to extend her hand. Faith took it, obviously not quite sure what to do with it.

  “Nice to meet you,” Shaelyn managed, toying with the idea of introducing herself as Alec’s wife. But she wouldn’t sink to William’s level. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to our patient.”

  “Patient?” Faith asked, but Shaelyn was already making her escape, her only thought to get away.

  When she stepped into the hall she turned and gave Alec a look that told him exactly how she felt. He apologized with his eyes, sincerely, clearly torn over what to do. She kept her voice light and chatty when she spoke.

  “Alec, when you have a minute, would you mind coming upstairs? I’ll be with Samuel.”

  As she walked away she heard Faith ask, “Samuel? Is that her husband?”

  She was too numb to stay and hear Alec’s answer.

  *******

  Hours later she heard the carriage wheels on the drive as the carriage pulled away. Margaret had brought her dinner on a tray and Shaelyn had picked at her food in Samuel’s room. Even though he’d improved enough for her to leave him for short periods, she knew she could never sit through a meal with William and Alec and his future wife.

  Just the thought set the nausea churning in her stomach.

  She heard his steps in the hallway just as she finished working on Samuel. The door had remained properly open and Alec now stood in the frame, all trace of his usual good humor replaced with a dead serious expression.

  She straightened and massaged the small of her back, staring at him, not giving an inch when he started looking uncomfortable. Finally she walked toward him until he moved out of the way.

  “Let’s go into my room,” she said, her voice weary, dead. “I don’t want to disturb Samuel.”

  She led the way. Alec followed her in and shut the door behind him.

  “Shaelyn…”

  She turned and stopped him with an upraised hand. She’d had plenty of time to think about this.

  “You don’t owe me any explanations, Alec. I’m a mistake that should never have happened. All I ask is that you let me live in Harbor Mist until I can leave.”

  “There’s no need to move to the cottage, Shaelyn.”

  “Yes, Alec. There is.” She looked at him and felt as if the light in her life had died.

  He bowed his head and nodded. “Whatever you wish.”

  “She has a right to know who I am, Alec.”

  He nodded again and looked back up at her.

  “I told her. Against Father’s wishes, but I told her.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” The minute the words left her mouth she regretted them. “No. Never mind. You don’t owe me anything.” She wished he owed her the world.

  “Shaelyn…” He started to take her by the shoulders but let his hands drop to his sides when she stepped back. “I didn’t know myself until after we were married. This is Father’s doing.”

  “But you care for her. I can see it in your eyes. There’s history between you two.”

  “Yes,” he said, the word telling her what she already knew. “She was my first love. Twelve years ago. But I was eighteen and Father had other plans.”

  She was his first love. He loved her. The thought ripped through Shaelyn like a jagged, red hot dagger. She clenched her jaw, refusing to let him see what pain his words caused. His knowing would serve no purpose, and she wouldn’t have him pitying her for being such a hopeless sap.

  “Well,” she said, lifting her chin and looking him in the eye, “I figured it was something like that. So, how did she take finding out you have a wife?” Did her unconcern sound as false to Alec as it did to her?

  He took a deep breath and released it.

  “Faith is an unusual woman.”

  Oh, of course, she would be the salt of the earth.

  “Once she heard the entire story, she understood.”

  Well, of course, she would understand. “How fortunate for you that she is an open-minded person.” Shae tried her best to sound sincere, but her words might as well have been a meow. When Alec looked at her she forced an innocent smile. “Really. Most women would not have been so accepting. I know I wouldn’t.”

  “Shaelyn, I did not purposely keep this from you. It just never occurred to me to tell you. After all, we’re not truly married. It is only a matter of time before the union is legally dissolved and you go back to…” His voice trailed off, avoiding the subject looming between them like a concrete wall.

  “You’re right, Alec.” Defeat settled over her like a heavy, suffocating fog. Amazing, how quickly he forgot the power of those kisses on the beach, the energy-charged air at the masquerade ball. Had it all been an act? Pity for her and her dreamy thoughts? A convincing display for a couple of slave catchers? She didn’t know which would be worse, that he could turn off the feelings so easily, or that she was so gullible.

  “Shaelyn, I believed this fiasco would be over with before Faith arrived. She should not have been here until - ”

  “It’s all right, Alec. No more explanation necessary.” She didn’t know if she could handle much more of his explaining. Nice to know she was just a fiasco to him. “As soon as Samuel no longer needs my attention, I want to move to the cottage.”

  “I told you, that isn’t necessary.”

  She rounded on him. “It’s the least you can do,” she snapped.

  He looked as if she’d slapped him, but she’d choke before she’d apologize. She couldn’t stay in that house and bump into him day and night. She couldn’t watch Faith come and go, staking her claim on him and preparing to move in for good.

  She grabbed the ring on her finger and yanked with a vengeance. Tears burned in her eyes. Before they could gather she stepped around Alec and moved for the door. “Just let me do this my way,” she said, then escaped to the safety of the sick room.

  *******

  Alec knotted his tie, still plagued with guilt from the look on Shaelyn’s face. That look haunted him now, while he finished dressing to dine with Faith.

  Good lord, how ludicrous. Dressing to dine with one’s betrothed while feeling guilty over one’s wife. When had he lost control of his life?

  He yanked the lop-sided knot loose and started over again, cursing himself for his lack of concentration.

  If he’d just left her alone. But he’d had to try to make amends, and then be her friend. And then he’d given in to the urge to kiss her. If only he hadn’t kissed her.

  Blast it! His damn silk tie refused to knot properly. He yanked it loose again and strode from the room. He didn’t even hesitate outside the sickroom door, but his peripheral vision caught a glimpse of Shaelyn spooning broth into Smythe’s mouth. A spike of unreasonable jealousy bit into him.

  Saint’s blood, why didn’t he just knot his tie into a hangman’s noose and put himself out of his misery?

  Ned waited with the carriage on the front drive. Alec leapt into the seat and slammed the door, closing himself into a nice, dark cocoon where he wouldn’t see flashes of Shaelyn, where he could fumble with his blasted defective tie, and where he could calm himself and look forward to a soothing evening with Faith.

  When he stepped from the carriage a half hour later, his mood had improved a degree or two. Ned’s eyes strayed to the hopelessly wrinkled tie, the final knot a creation that fashion had yet to see, but the coachman wisely kept his own counsel.

  Faith’s father, Caleb Almany, met Alec at the door. The man had not changed much in all the years Alec had known him. The smell of expensive cigars still clung to him like a child clinging to its mother. His portly frame had perhaps grown a bit in girth, and his thinning hair grown thinner, but his affable smile beamed out from a weathered, seaman’s face that had not aged a day in nearly thirty years.

  “Alec, it’s been too long, son. Come in, come in.” He waved Alec into the cheery interior of the house, then led the way into the parlor.

  “It’s good to see you, sir. The shipping business isn�
�t the same since you retired.”

  “A man has to give up the sea sooner or later,” Caleb said, gesturing to a decanter of port and quirking a brow. At Alec’s nod he poured two glasses. “Better to give it up for dry land than to wear the sea as a coffin.” He handed the wine to Alec. “You still get seasick, son?”

  Alec grimaced while he sipped the heavy port. “Worse than ever, sir.”

  Caleb “tsked.” “What a shame. Well, I’m happy enough being a landlubber. Two shipwrecks in a career are two too many. Didn’t want to press my luck. You still wear your ring?”

  Alec knew he referred to the earring a sailor got for each shipwreck survived. Caleb had been the captain of the Hampton Cross when Alec had been fifteen and a crew member for the first time. The ship had gone down when a storm blew them off course and they hit a reef near the Philippine Islands. Fortunately another ship saw their distress and picked them up before any lives were lost. Each sailor on the wrecked ship came away from the voyage with a gold hoop in his ear for his troubles.

  “I still wear it when I sail, sir, which isn’t very often.” He only sailed when relieving certain ships of their special cargo. But Caleb would know nothing of that. “How is Mrs. Almany?” he asked, changing the subject.

  “Hester is fussing like a mother hen, now that the youngest is back in the nest. And where the devil are they?” It seemed to just then occur to him that they were missing. “Hester! Faith!” he bellowed toward the ceiling. “All hands on deck!”

  “Captain Almany, I have asked you not to yodel in the house.” Faith’s mother calmly entered the parlor from the dining room.

  “I was not yodeling, my dear. I was issuing an order.”

  “There would have been no need if you had sent word that Alec had arrived. How are you, Alec, dear?”

  Alec took Hester’s hand and brushed the back of it with his lips.

  “I am well, ma’am. And there is no need to ask that question of you. You are fairly glowing.”