Distant Dreams

by Jenny Lykins

  “Oh.” The avid gleam in Molly’s eyes died, and she tossed her brother a look of disgust.

  “Now see here, brat. I refuse to be an object of - ”

  A knock at the front door interrupted Alec’s brotherly tirade.

  “Good morning, Martin. How are our patients faring today?”

  The voice sent Shaelyn’s heart to her throat. Alec looked as if he suddenly faced a firing squad. Good heavens, they hadn’t expected to have to deal with Faith so soon. They hadn’t even discussed how they would go about breaking the news.

  Martin assured Faith of Samuel’s health, then announced that Alec had returned and Shaelyn had recovered from her ague. Before Alec could do more than shoot a reassuring glance at Shae, their visitor rushed into the room.

  If possible the woman had grown even more beautiful in the past week. Shae, who had seldom felt dowdy in her life, did so when around Faith. Her serene eyes glowed with life and her flawless skin held a new, becoming hint of pink. She would be an easy woman to hate if she’d seemed at all aware of her devastating beauty. Shae liked her all the more because she wasn’t.

  “Alec, welcome home! And Shaelyn, I am so pleased to see you recovered. I vow you look as if you’ve never been ill.” Faith kissed Alec on the forehead, then rounded the table to give Shae a sisterly hug.

  That simple gesture of affection sent little knives of guilt piercing Shaelyn’s conscience. She turned and faced Alec.

  He tossed his napkin to the table and scooted his chair back, then nodded to Shaelyn at her unasked question.

  “Pest,” he gave Molly a look that did not invite curiosity, “you will excuse us. Shaelyn and I have something to discuss with Faith in the parlor.”

  Faith’s gaze shot to Alec and then to Shaelyn. She paled, and dread replaced the happy light in her eyes as she clasped her hands together at her waist. She followed Alec to the parlor as if she were following the hangman to the gallows; as if she knew that the man she loved was about to deliver a death blow to their future.

  Bringing up the rear, Shaelyn nearly writhed with guilt. If there was anything she could have done to spare Faith this pain, other than give up Alec, she would have. But Alec had told her, in the wee hours of the morning as they lay cuddled on the bunk, that even if Shaelyn had refused him, he would not have married Faith.

  Alec strode to the center of the parlor and gestured for the ladies to sit. Faith slid miserably into the nearest seat. Shaelyn tried to figure out how to crawl into a hole and disappear. Alec eyed the decanter of whiskey with longing. He pinched the bridge of his nose and dropped his chin to his chest.

  “Faith,” he began. She continued to stare at her hands clasped in her lap. “I…I don’t quite know how to put this…”

  She looked up at him, the picture of abject misery when she spoke.

  “It just happened, Alec. Before Thomas died. We never meant for it to happen.”

  Shaelyn looked at Alec, and Alec looked at Faith. The silence seemed to stretch on for hours. Shaelyn thought she would scream if somebody didn’t say something. Alec closed his eyes and shook his head.

  “What…‘happened’?” he asked, sounding totally confused. Shaelyn wanted to choke him, to hug him, to dance the dance of joy. Good grief! Men could be so dense! Faith looked as if she would agree.

  “Samuel and I,” she said. “We didn’t mean to fall in love. But when he stayed with us to interview Thomas, it was as if…but of course we never…but I was fond of Thomas. Samuel and I vowed never to see each other again. But then I walked into the sickroom and there he was. And then Shaelyn took ill and I wanted to help. I had to spend so many hours in there with him. It is not Samuel’s fault, Alec. It is all my fault. But it would not be fair to you if we married when my heart belongs to another.”

  “You’ll not take the blame.” Samuel stood in the doorway, obviously weak but with his shoulders squared. “If I had known Thomas had died, I would have gone to her immediately.”

  Faith flew to Samuel’s side and Alec stared at them, as if not quite able to grasp the implications.

  Faith’s brow knitted in confusion. “Is that not what you wanted to speak to me about?” She turned to Samuel. “Did you not tell him of our plans?”

  Samuel blinked and shook his head. “I was unaware of his return until moments ago.”

  Shaelyn stood and nudged Alec out of his stupor. “Why don’t you tell them what we wanted to discuss? Or would you rather I do the - ”

  “Absolutely not,” he said, realization finally dawning across that painfully handsome face. A smile graced his lips that had Shaelyn aching to kiss him. He waved the couple onto the couch before he spoke.

  “This all seems rather superfluous now. You see, Shaelyn and I,” he took Shaelyn’s hand and winked at her, “well, we have fallen in love as well. We had planned to break - ”

  Faith let out an uncharacteristic squeal and jumped up to give Shaelyn a heartfelt hug. Samuel rose more slowly but made his way to Alec to clap him on the back.

  The relief on all their faces were enough to start Shaelyn giggling. Faith looked at her, then allowed her own laughter to gild the air.

  The two women hugged, as if the oldest of friends. The men clapped each other on the back and shook hands.

  When Martin walked by the open doorway, Shaelyn was the only one to notice the tiniest hint of a smile on that long-suffering face.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Alec had thought the day would never end. After they celebrated his and Faith’s non-betrothal, he had wanted nothing more than to scoop his wife into his arms, lock themselves away in his bedchamber, and do what his tortured body had wanted to do for weeks.

  But his blasted household was filled to the brim with extraneous people. He could hardly take his wife to bed in the middle of the morning with Samuel and Faith roaming the house, not to mention his little sister, whose whereabouts could never be predicted.

  And now, blast it, Shaelyn had disappeared after dinner.

  The ladies had retired to the parlor to leave the men to their port - a suspicious gesture on Shaelyn’s part to begin with. But when he and Samuel had emerged from the dining room, the parlor was empty and the ladies nowhere to be found.

  “Well, what do you make of it, Smythe?” Alec asked after they’d conversed an indecent amount of time, trying to ignore the absence of the women.

  Samuel shrugged. “If there is one thing I have learned about the opposite sex, it is that it is best to leave the mysteries of the female gender a mystery.”

  Alec had a feeling he would have no choice in the matter when it came to Shaelyn.

  Just as he was about to suggest they go in search of the wayward women, the sound of feminine footsteps echoed in the hall.

  Faith entered the parlor, followed by Molly. Alec watched for Shaelyn, but she failed to appear.

  “I am extremely exhausted, dear brother.” Molly made a great show of stretching in a most unladylike manner. “I believe I shall retire early. Good night, everyone.” Before he or Samuel could utter a response, she’d disappeared up the stairway. He turned to Faith, expecting an explanation of Shaelyn’s whereabouts.

  She avoided his gaze.

  “Samuel, darling, I am tired as well. And you look fatigued. I believe it’s best I go home and allow you your rest.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Will you walk me to the door?”

  Alec watched, incredulous, as Faith bid him goodnight before strolling with Samuel toward the foyer.

  “Just one moment!” he bellowed.

  Faith stopped and turned back to him, obviously fighting to keep her face emotionless.

  “Oh, yes,” she said, still avoiding his gaze. She pulled an envelope from a pocket in her skirts. “Shaelyn asked me to give you this.”

  A fist of fear closed around Alec’s heart and squeezed. Why would Faith not look at him? Had Shaelyn changed her mind? What other reason was there to send him a note?

  He tore open the vellum with a savage r
ip, then gaped like an idiot as a shower of flowers petals sprinkled the floor and the toes of his boots.

  “What the devil…” He stared at the fragrant, multi-colored petals, then noticed a veritable trail of them leading back through the rear of the house. He looked at Faith, who sighed and rolled her eyes, then turned him toward the trail and gave him a shove.

  Forgetting all but the rainbow of petals at his feet, he followed the fragrant path through the house to the back terrace. The knot of fear in his chest dissolved into a fiery, liquid ache that surged through his blood.

  The trail continued through the garden and along the path leading into the trees. He no longer needed to see the petals to know where they led.

  His anxious stride quickly covered the distance between the sparse woods and the guest house. The carpet of petals continued up the steps and through the open doorway.

  He smiled to himself. He would be surprised if there was a flower left blooming in the gardens.

  The floral trail led up the stairs outlined by glowing candles. The petals crushed beneath his boots as he climbed the steps perfumed the air with a mingling of wonderful scents, but his fevered mind hardly noticed.

  When he rounded the top step, all the blood rushed from his head and traveled south. He swallowed hard and fought to draw breath into lungs that had forgotten how to breathe.

  Shaelyn stood at the open door to the balcony, illuminated by a dozen candles and haloed by the silver reflection of the moon off the water. Her white, filmy nightclothes fluttered softly in the breeze.

  Her smile hit him full in the chest. What little breath he’d managed to find escaped his lungs when she shrugged out of her robe and let it fall to the floor in a puddle of silk.

  Had that groan come from him?

  He took one hesitant step toward her, and then they were in each other’s arms. Her tongue sought his, sending exquisite waves of torture undulating through his being to coil into a mind-numbing ache. While her kisses wiped away all coherent thought, her hands divested him of his jacket, then loosened the knot of his tie.

  He yanked off the tie, then the collar, then helped her free the buttons of his shirt while their lips stayed joined, frantic and hungry, until finally her hands skimmed the bare skin of his chest. He thought he would die of the sheer pleasure.

  A small sigh escaped her throat and she pulled at his shirt while he fought with the accursed ribbons that formed the straps of her nightgown. With a seductive, knee-weakening smile, she stayed his hands and backed away.

  The flickering candles bathed her in gold while the sea-kissed breeze from the balcony molded the silk of her gown against her many curves. He all but gulped when she dragged the ribbons over one creamy shoulder. Her heated gaze invited him to remove the other strap at his leisure.

  A shiver of need wracked his body. He found his hand toying with the remaining ribbon, caressing her throat, her collarbone, her cheek, and finally he hooked the ribbon with his finger and slowly slid the silk down her arm.

  His heart stopped in his chest when the gown fluttered to rest upon the carpet of petals. Only when his lungs started to burn did he remember to breathe.

  She took his hands in hers and drew him toward the bed. The gesture pulled him out of his trance until he scooped her into his arms and laid her atop the frilly covers so invitingly turned back. She looked up at him, the love in her eyes forming a knot in his throat. Had he ever dreamed his wife would look at him with such love?

  In a matter of seconds he had rid himself of his boots and clothing and pulled her into his arms, savoring the feel of heated flesh upon heated flesh. She sighed when he covered her mouth with his, and his mind swirled with blinding need. She welcomed his touch, giving as much as he, kissing him with dizzying, eye-watering fervor. They explored each other with newlywed wonder. It was as if they were both untried; both making love for the first time.

  He forced himself to be gentle. He prolonged the sweet agony as long as he could, and then finally, when he could bear it no longer, he took her.

  Within the hazy, blinding lust that clouded his mind, he realized no barrier stopped his entry. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. She gazed up at him, apologizing with her eyes, the tormented apology sinking into his heart and dissolving his shock until it made no difference that he was not her first. He would forgive this woman anything; this woman he would die a thousand deaths for.

  He buried his face in her neck, murmuring words of love, until her nails dug into his back and he joined her on that heavenly precipice, hovering there for an excruciating moment, and then soaring with her into ecstasy.

  *******

  Shaelyn watched him sleep, her love for him welling in her chest with each breath she took.

  She’d seen the look on his face when he’d realized she wasn’t a virgin. And she’d seen his acceptance even in this time when men valued that trait in women above all else.

  She would have given anything if he could have been the first. Heaven knew, she had bitterly regretted giving in to Aaron’s pressuring. She had wanted to wait. She had waited longer than most. But she’d finally given in, and then two months later she’d read in the paper that he and Rachel had applied for a marriage license. By the time he had returned from his “business trip,” he had a pregnant bride on his arm.

  For the first time since their betrayal, Shaelyn smiled at the memory. She really should thank them someday, for if not for their betrayal, she most likely would have never ended up on that ship, or had the opportunity to slip the ring on her finger, or had this maddening, wonderful man trick her into marrying him.

  She sighed and rolled over, backing up against his solid warm chest, curling to fit the curve of his body. Even in sleep, his arms drew her closer.

  The only thing that marred her blissful happiness was the thought of her parents and Brianne. Contemplating never seeing them again was as painful as losing them to death. And she couldn’t bear the thought of the agony they would suffer, knowing that her disappearance would forever go unsolved, that her parents would never know what happened to her.

  But even if she were able, even if she had the option, how could she ever leave Alec behind to return to the future?

  She shook her head and snuggled closer to her husband. She would not let these thoughts ruin the euphoric hours she had just spent with Alec, nor ruin the ones ahead.

  She twined her fingers in his and kissed the masculine knuckles of his big, gentle hand. She relived what those hands had done to her throughout the night, still tasted his kisses so tender she had nearly wept.

  He had loved her in ways she’d never dreamed, taken her places she’d never been. Not until Alec had shown her, did she realize how selfish Aaron had been. If she could thank Aaron for anything, it would be for teaching her the worlds of difference between a selfish lover and a giving one.

  She closed her eyes and sighed, a smile curving her lips.

  “You let me go to sleep.” Alec nuzzled the top of her head while he pulled her tight against his chest. “We could have spent the time doing things much more interesting.”

  She rolled over into his arms and nestled her head in the hollow of his shoulder.

  “I figured it was either let you sleep or have you passing out from sheer exhaustion.”

  He growled into her hair. “You underestimate me, Mrs. Hawthorne. I need no rest with you in my arms.”

  She looked up at him and brushed a kiss across his lips.

  “Prove it,” she whispered.

  He growled once more and took up her challenge, proving his words with heart-stopping finesse, until they both lay exhausted and she teasingly conceded defeat.

  Not until the blinding sun on the water nudged her awake did Shaelyn even realize she’d slept. She slipped from the bed and freshened up, then crept back into Alec’s arms and tried to kiss him awake. She nuzzled his neck and kissed his chest. She smoothed his dark, mussed hair away from his forehead. She leaned over him and kissed his
lips while her hands roamed free across the muscled expanse of his body. Not until she saw the tiniest twitch to the corners of his mouth did she realize the man had not fallen into a coma.

  “You faker!” She shoved at him but the steel bands of his arms wrapped around her. His laughter rumbled in his chest.

  “Guilty as charged, madame. But you made the crime so worth my while.” He dragged her across him and kissed her soundly. When he finally ended the kiss, he sighed. “There aren’t enough hours in the night to love you properly.”

  Shaelyn squinted at the silvery sunlight reflecting off the water. She trailed her hands along his muscles and tortured him a little.

  “So, is there a law against using the hours in the day?”

  He looked at her, and then at the sun. A seductive smile spread across his face, and then he pulled the covers over their heads and spent the next few hours answering her question.

  *******

  The days flowed like sweet wine, one into the other, heady and dizzying, while Shaelyn and Alec ignored the world and honeymooned in the guest cottage by the sea.

  Shaelyn saw a side of Alec he’d never revealed. She met the man who woke her with kisses, only to drag her onto the balcony to see the misty bars of sunlight piercing the shadows of the woods. She met the man who could lie for hours in the grass, her head on his shoulder, and watch the clouds scud across the sky. The same man who would chase her down the beach, throw her over his shoulder, then march up to the bedroom and toss her on the bed, to love her so gently it caused an ache in her heart. She met the man with a sense of humor so bawdy he managed to make her blush.

  She met the man who was everything she’d ever dreamed of.

  But after a week, reality returned when they made the mistake of visiting the house.

  Molly squealed at the sight of them, obviously delighted and openly curious. Shaelyn could tell the girl teemed with questions that would have Alec roaring. Somehow she managed to stifle asking them, but Shae had no doubt that once Molly got her alone, Shae would be fielding the questions herself.