by Paty Jager
****
“Zeke! Zeke! Open this door!”
Zeke curled his arm around Maeve and she moaned. The pounding continued as he moved away from her back and slipped out of the bed. He pulled his trousers on and headed to the door.
“Dang, Darcy,” he unlocked the door and pulled it open. Gil stood in front of his wife with his foot raised ready to kick the door in.
“What’s the matter?” Zeke stepped back, allowing Gil and Darcy to enter. She carried a tray laden with food.
“Darcy has been up here twice and you haven’t answered the door.” Gil glanced at the bed and back at him.
“I was tired. And keep it down, Maeve’s still sleeping.” He tugged a clean shirt out of the open package that tumbled to the floor during his nap. As he buttoned the shirt, Darcy placed the food on a small table and moved to the bed.
“Maeve?”
“Let her sleep.” He stepped between his sister-in-law and the bed.
“She needs to eat.” Darcy glared up at him.
“She needs rest and food when she wakes.” He crossed his arms. No one would disturb Maeve. He wanted her rested so they could discuss their future.
“Sheriff Dore needs a statement from you.” Gil stood beside his wife. He, too, crossed his arms, taking a stand.
“Go with Gil,” Maeve’s muffled voice came from behind him. He spun around. Maeve looked up at him. Her color was better, but the dark circles under her eyes and her pain pinched features didn’t set well with him.
She motioned with a limp hand. “Go with Gil. Darcy can help me into a shift, and we can eat when you get back.”
“Only if you promise you’ll sleep after that.” He captured her hand. He didn’t want to leave her even though he knew all the threats were gone.
“I’ll sleep.” She gave him a weak smile. He leaned down and kissed her cheek.
Glancing at Gil, he said, “Give me a minute to get my socks and boots on.”
Gil set about filling buckets from the tub and tossing the bath water out the window.
Zeke sat on the edge of the bed, wanting to stay as close to Maeve as possible. He’d come so close to losing her, he didn’t want any time to slip away when they could be together. He pulled his socks on, patted her hip, and leaned down to shove a foot in his boot. A hand fluttered against his back. Warmth radiated from his heart out to his limbs. He’d worked so long to have this woman return his feelings unconditionally. To have her reach out to him now, unleashed emotions he didn’t understand.
“I’ll be back before you even miss me.” He leaned down, brushed a wispy strand of hair off her cheek, and pressed his lips to her soft skin.
“I doubt that.” Her soft whisper sent flames to his groin. He knew she was in no shape for the thoughts raging inside of him, but to know she would miss him, made the words sweeter.
“Are you coming?” Gil’s irritated voice and Darcy’s tapping foot were a pretty good indication the two had no idea how hard he’d fought for this bond.
He kissed Maeve’s cheek one more time and stood. “Let’s get this over with so I can get back.”
Maeve felt his weight leave the bed. Panic squeezed her chest. She was vulnerable lying face down in the bed, it was logical she wanted the only person she trusted by her side. The door closed and the swish of skirts neared the bed.
“Are you ready to get a shift on and sit up?” Darcy’s voice was not so much a question as a command.
She moaned. Her back stung, but didn’t throb as it had after the bath. And she was tired of her face being smashed in the pillow and unable to see things. She pushed up into a sitting position in the middle of the bed.
“Do you want to sit at the table?” Darcy asked, holding out a clean, white shift with lace around the neckline.
Nodding, she held up her arms as Darcy dropped the garment over her head. It pooled around her before she hung her legs over the edge and stood. The world spun and whooshing noises filled her head. She plopped her bottom back on the bed and waited for the sound to abate.
“You seem to have finally come around to Zeke’s way of thinking,” Darcy said, handing her a glass of water.
“What do you mean?” She took a drink and watched the petite woman standing in front of her.
“He was mooning after you when I first met him. He bestowed such virtues on you I was scared to stand next to you.” She laughed and took the empty glass.
“He’s been sparking me since the first time I didn’t return his hello.” She smiled. “He was standing on the roof of old man Gantry’s barn.”
Darcy laughed. “Well, you seem to be responding to his hello now.”
Her face heated. She wanted all his hellos and then some. “He’s kinda grown on me.”
“No kidding. You two better get married soon or there’s going to be talk.” Darcy put her hand out to help Maeve to her feet.
Married. She accepted Darcy’s help and walked to the table and chair. Would that be what Zeke would expect? She could see herself sharing blissful moments with him in the future. But was she ready to make the commitment of marriage?
Maeve pushed the hair from her face and stared out the window, avoiding the searching gaze of the woman in the opposite chair.
She wanted Zeke. He made her feel safe, secure, and happy. But did she love him enough to marry him?
Chapter 23
Zeke whistled as he checked the cinches. Maeve was ready to travel. If they left on time, they’d make Gil and Darcy’s by night and arrive in Sumpter the following day. He planned to wait to ask her to marry him until she returned to teaching. After all they’d been through, if he waited until she was back in her routine, she’d know he wasn’t asking her just because she’d nearly been killed. His hands fisted. He’d forever have the vision of her dangling helpless and hurt etched in his memory. He never wanted to see her in danger again.
His heart couldn’t take it.
Maeve and Barton exited the hotel at the same time as Gil and Darcy approached from the street with a wagon. Zeke couldn’t take his eyes off Maeve. Her coloring had improved, and he knew for a fact her back was healing. A grin tugged at his lips. He’d started the evening before checking her injuries. They’d ended with a tussle in the sheets and both of them satisfied.
“Zeke, you won’t believe what Mr. Barton offered me.” The enthusiasm in Maeve’s voice as she hurried up to him was another sign of her healing both physically and mentally.
“What did Barton offer that has your face glowing and a pretty smile on your lips?” He stepped forward, taking her hand and drawing her in front of him. If he lived to ninety he would never get tired of gazing at her.
“He’s arranged for me to go to Chicago and train to become a female Pinkerton.” Her words were the equivalent of falling into a snow drift. Shock and numbness.
“Why?” he searched her radiant face. She didn’t really want to put herself in danger, did she?
“I believe Miss Loman will make as good an operative as her father.” Barton stepped forward, smiling like a doting parent at the woman.
Zeke searched her face. Why would she want to be in danger again? “I don’t understand. You were lucky I found you. Marsh could have—” Zeke pulled her into his arms as his heart raced with dread. He couldn’t go through that again.
He held her at arm’s length. “Marry me. I promise you can do whatever you want, but please don’t put yourself in that kind of danger.”
Her eyes softened, but the determined set of her lips and ramrod back told him she would refuse. He dropped his hands.
“I’d hoped you’d come with me.” Now, she grasped his hands. “We could work together.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “I don’t want to go back to teaching. I liked outsmarting the outlaws. Knowing I helped put them in jail is the first thing in my life that made me feel like I made a difference.”
He wanted to go with her, be with her. A Pinkerton’s life would mean traveling and always staying a step ahead of th
e people you chased. A life of danger. A life of seeing her in danger over and over. Panic tightened his chest and pounded in his head.
“I-I can’t go with you. You don’t know how hard it was to see you dragged off by Marsh and know it was better to let you go than charge in and try to save you. And then, the tree…” He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the images away. His body shook. “I can’t live through that. Not again.” He pulled his hands from her grasped.
“But if you’re there, I won’t come to harm.” Her voice caught on a sob.
“I was with you when Marsh…” He’d nearly gone mad with anger and fear when Marsh straddled her and held her at gun point. He couldn’t live through that again and come out sane.
“Not truly, it was my fault for stopping.” She clutched his shirt. “You have to come with me. I need you.” Her pleading in the street with so many people as witness, nearly had him conceding. She would never show these emotions in public if she didn’t feel them.
His heart ached. Damn. He wanted to go with her, love her, and protect her. Zeke squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t watch her throw herself into danger. Not again. It hurt too damn much.
“I- can’t.” He pulled her into his arms and met her lips with a bruising, agonizing kiss.
Zeke leaned back and staring into Maeve’s eyes, he said to Barton, “Take care of her.”
He stepped away from her and mounted his horse. Without acknowledging any of the people gawking at him, he turned his horse and raced down the street.
Maeve’s heart stopped beating as the man she loved raced out of her life. She swallowed the lump of despair.
“You said you’d never leave me!” she screamed.
Strong hands grasped her shoulders. She ignored Mr. Barton and stared at the shocked faces of Gil and Darcy. “He said he’d never leave me.” Anger replaced the shattering of her heart. “Just proves my point, you can’t love anyone, they always leave and hurt you.”
“Don’t say that!” Darcy rushed toward her. “I’m sure he’ll think about it and come around. It was a shock is all. He’ll return.”
“Mr. Barton has already telegraphed the Chicago office. They’re expecting me.” She faced Mr. Barton. “I’ll take the train out of The Dalles. There’s no sense in my going to Baker City to catch it when I’m this close to a station.”
“What about your things?” Darcy asked, taking her hand. “Don’t you need to go home to get your things?”
“I’ll use the reward money to purchase clothes. I have nothing of importance in McEwen.” Not now that Zeke abandoned me. She swung up onto the horse Zeke had prepared for their return to Sumpter.
“I’ll send a telegram when I get to Chicago.” She didn’t want to stay another minute in this town. She looked up at the hotel that held reminders of Zeke and how close they’d become—or she thought they’d become. She’d finally found someone she believed in, and he walked out on her.
Pain ripped through her more vicious than the physical pain Marsh had inflicted on her. Her body started to double over before she stiffened her back and pulled her unemotional cloak around her sealing her off from any feelings.
“You can’t ride by yourself.” Barton untied Gil’s horse from the back of the wagon. “I’d like to borrow this. I’ll leave him in The Dalles stables.”
She didn’t care if the man rode with her as long as he didn’t say anything. She had a lot to think about. Namely how she could have let herself be pulled in by the notion Zeke loved her enough he would never leave. First her father and now Zeke. What was wrong with her? She’d been stupid to believe all his promises. Even knowing fate had once again ripped love and happiness from her, she couldn’t stop the ache gnawing at her heart.
****
Zeke rode as hard as his horse could go until the poor animal was exhausted. He pulled to a stop by a stream and dismounted, allowing the horse to catch its breath and drink.
Damn! Why did the woman have to be so danged independent? He wanted to hold her and love her. Grow old together, but he couldn’t. Not knowing she would be in danger with each mission she went on.
His legs buckled, and he sat on a rock. Clutching his head in his hands, he searched for answers. His chest ached with loss and dread. He wanted her. Not in a lustful way, but to share his life. Being a Pinkerton there was no telling how long her life would last. It could be until they turned gray or it could end next week. He’d felt cold cocked again when she’d looked so radiant saying she wanted to be an agent.
Cutting out now was the only way to save his heart later. Maeve’s words as he rode off would forever haunt him. He’d repeatedly told her he’d be there for her. He’d planned to be there for her, but… he couldn’t knowing she was willing to throw away her life and their love. She’d finally believed him—and he left. He’d hurt her more than just taking away his love, he’d taken away her faith. God help him, but he was a fool.
Zeke crawled onto his horse and headed to Sumpter. To the cabin and the life he knew before meeting Maeve. He needed to get back to normal, forget her.
****
“What do you mean you left Maeve in Monument?” Ethan pulled him into the cabin by his shirtfront and forced him into a chair. “You talked that woman into looking for her father and you said you’d take care of her.”
Zeke couldn’t look at Ethan. The last day and night as he kept a steady pace toward home, he realized how much he missed Maeve and the dishonor he’d committed.
“You don’t know what I went through—”
“Nothing should make you leave a woman alone.” Ethan scowled at him. “I thought I taught you better than that.”
“She wasn’t alone. She had Barton, Gil, and Darcy with her.” But it was you she called to stay.
“After mooning over her for better than a year, why’d you all of a sudden decide she isn’t what you want?” Ethan sat in the chair as Hank came in the house.
“Where’s Maeve?” Hank asked, moving to the stove.
“In Monument. Alone.” The words dripped with derision as Ethan stared a hole into Zeke.
“Alone? Are you an idiot?” Hank sat at the table and stared at him as well.
“You don’t know the whole story.” He pulled the damn tintype out of his pocket and slammed it on the table. The frame shattered, just like his heart. Ethan picked up the tintype, the backing and frame remained on the table. As he looked at the photo of their parents, Zeke noticed writing on the back. He grabbed the tintype from Ethan and flipped it over.
Brendan, if you have trouble in Oregon go to my cousin. Show him this, he’ll understand.
In his mother’s handwriting were his parent’s names and the year they were married. William and Penelope Halsey 1855
“That’s why he carried it around.” Zeke dropped the tintype like a hot stick. It fluttered to the table, and guilt, stronger than he’d ever felt before, wracked him. His father’s cousin had given the photo to Maeve’s father knowing William would help. Maeve was Loman’s daughter and he, William’s son, had failed her. Failed his family.
“Damn!” He clutched his hair in his hands and hung his head. Shame slammed into him like a falling tree. He’d walked away from Maeve, from love, and all because he was scared of losing her.
The sound of a rapidly approaching horse barely registered as Zeke drowned in his guilt.
“Is Zeke back,” Clay asked, entering the cabin.
“If you could call it that.” Hank stood, moving away from the table.
Zeke raised his head and scanned Clay’s smiling face. “Why are you looking for me?”
“Telegram came for you.” He grinned. “I took the liberty of reading it to see how important it was.”
Ethan grabbed the slip of paper from Clay’s hand, read it, and sat it on the table in front of Zeke. “You may want to read this.”
He looked at the name on the bottom. Barton. Something happened to Maeve. He snatched the paper and began reading,
In The Dalles ST
OP Maeve misses you STOP The Pinkerton’s could use a team like you STOP We’ll be in Baker City on Thursday STOP Barton STOP
“What’s today?” he asked, shoving the chair back and standing.
“Wednesday.” Clay picked up the telegram. “Why are you here and Maeve’s in The Dalles?”
“Because our brother’s an idiot,” Hank chimed in.
“Yeah, I am. But I’m getting smarter.” He looked around the cabin. “Boys, I need your help.”
****
After her arrival in The Dalles, Maeve spent every waking minute preparing for her trip to Chicago and her new life. She purchased a train ticket and dresses a matron would wear. Subdued and not the least alluring. No man would look at her and think she wanted a husband. No one would break her heart, again.
She wiggled her bottom on the hard seat of the railroad car and peered out at Baker City. The conductor announced they would be held over for an undisclosed length of time and passengers should use the layover to stretch their legs. She could use a reason to get up and move around, but didn’t want to set foot in Baker City. There was no one she cared to see. She wasn’t ready to tell her mother what she’d found out about Pa. And Zeke would be panning for gold and have forgotten all about her, since it appeared the love he insisted he felt for her wasn’t enough to keep him with her as she worked to instill justice.
Tears burned her eyes. She dabbed at them with a handkerchief and continued to stare out the window so those still moving about the car wouldn’t see her vulnerability. She’d managed to keep the tears at bay during the day as she prepared for her trip. The nights, however, had been harder. She was glad Mr. Barton had readily accepted the idea of a stroll when the conductor suggested it. She was tired of his continually telling her not to give up hope. As if hope would bring Zeke back to her.
Once she arrived in Chicago and began her training, she’d be too busy to think about Zeke and the past would be just that—the past. She’d start a new life. As a Pinkerton Operative, just like her father.
